hello731 Posted October 24, 2017 Posted October 24, 2017 So my ex of four year broke up with me in may. worst way possible.i was pregnant and miscarried from stress, he did not care while he was inside some chick.he got into a a fling with some girl like two weeks later after the breakup. i was a mess he said horrible things to me and treated me like garbage off the street. two months later he contacts me crying that he wants me back and he feels empty. we meet and talk and we don't know what will happen next. he says he will tell the other girl he wants to be with me. so i catch him still talking to her and he says she keeps texting him wanting explanations. i wish i saw the texts. ok so after some time we have a great summer together. but of course i don't trust him and I'm really hesitant knowing how unstable he is emotionally and all over the place. i push him away tell him i need space sometimes and that idk if i can trust him or ever will. he gives up easy and tells me HE doesn't know if he wants this anymore. instead of proving me wrong and being there like a man. so he runs away again. he's scared of a mature relationship because he acts like a little child ****boy. so then i ask him for closure we meet up and I'm so pathetic and vulnerable not ready to let him go i make him have sex with me. and we do and then we just stay friends with benefits for like two weeks. he clearly doesn't respect me. so on sunday i saw him and after that he was acting really distant and shady. i planned something for his birthday and he would say i don't want to lead u on. before sunday he was texting me like we were in a relationship talking bout what our kids would look like telling me he misses how we used to be happy whatever. when he'd come over, he'd lay down on me play with my legs and hands kiss me on the forehead and just act lie were together. leading on much? so then after he said he's thinking of seeing someone else. idk where he met this person because we were talking and being intimate this whole time. which means he did it while that was happening. idk who this person is he won't tell me.we met up and he said that he can't commit to me. i think he is just scared of a real relationship. i asked him if he lied when he said he loves me when he came back cuz before he broke up the first time he said he doesn't love me anymore. he said he never said he was in love with me and that he loves and cares for me as a person. why did he come back then to screw with my emotions cuz he felt lost and not satifsfied with that girl. how is so easily able to jump from relationship to relationship or like he says seeing people more like using them with no remorse or emotions. after everything u put me through how r u able to do this to me again and so easily to my face tell me I'm thinking of seeing someone else and i can't be committed to you. does this person have any kind of heart or soul? does he feel bad for his actions and how selfish they are. he uses women as objects then throws them away. he never communicates or discuses the situation. even when we were friends with benefits as dumb as that sounds, I'm sure he was talking to someone else and was just shady and when id say tell me when u talk to someone else he would say i will. he asked me why id send him naked pictures, because i did for four years and it was a way for me to keep him i guess, thats how low he made me go and ow insecure i really felt. I've never done things like this. i feel pathetic and like a used object and just because i was broken when he came back he threw me out. I'm really shattered. i never even healed and i really believed he changed and saw the light. he ignores all my texts completely i told him to block me and he said he won't then he said he will but doesn't. does he enjoy doing this to me. is he a sociopath . how can anyone who's a good human do this to someone and be ok while destroying someone and using them basically while searching for someone else. he said maybe we need to see other people to see if we really wanna be together. how the hell am i supposed to see anyone. i need to heal before i can even ever think of anything like that. idk how he's able to just jump from girl to girl. i asked him how he can detach his emotions like this and he said idk i just can. does he just fake emotions to get what he wants to control u and manipulate u and hurt u and leave u. i wonder if he feels anything at all ever. saying he was attached to me and missed me when he came back crying. i don't understand any of this. do you guys think hell come back to destroy me some more? this seems like a cycle to me its abuse honeymoon stage then abuse then manipulation and taking accountability for actions then completely cutting me off and when he's dissatisfied in his life he comes back. what is wrong with this "person"?
Zahara Posted October 24, 2017 Posted October 24, 2017 It would be best to focus on your own behavior rather than diagnose your boyfriend. It doesn't matter what he is -- sociopath or not, but why you chose to stay with someone like him.
basil67 Posted October 24, 2017 Posted October 24, 2017 I don't like throwing around psychiatric labels in a cavalier manner. Have you looked up the diagnostic criteria for sociopath? You know him better than us - what parts of his behaviour fits the criteria? You've written about this guy before. http://www.loveshack.org/forums/breaking-up-reconciliation-coping/breaks-breaking-up/627366-will-he-ever-back Apparently he didn't treat you well and you were not a pleasure to live with either. You said yourself that you were never a match. Time to block him and move on.
Sweetfish Posted October 25, 2017 Posted October 25, 2017 doesn't matter what he is... just leave him
Nadine123 Posted October 25, 2017 Posted October 25, 2017 You dont have to wait for him to block you, just block him yourself. 1
Captivating Posted October 25, 2017 Posted October 25, 2017 He seems narcissistic for me but it does not really matter. Never, ever run after anybody, especially after a man who disrespected you and shows no compassion towards you. It makes you seem desperate and lacking self-esteem.(self respect) How do you expect him respecting you if you don't respect yourself? Why would you want to be with a man like that? First, self reflect, have some time alone before you move on with somebody else. Then try to find a nice man whom you are mutually respecting each other, have standards and boundaries in a relationship. It takes time to move on ... be patient and kind to yourself ! HUGS !
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