hello731 Posted June 20, 2017 Posted June 20, 2017 Hey! So... this is crazy story. My ex and i have been together for four years. We were never really compatbile and he kind of watned to break it off for months before he actually did and stayed for belief feelings would change and hope things would get better. He would act really careless and that made me essentially be really negative around him, as i usually am anyway. He hates my personality and how negative and unpleasent i was around him always. So he broke up with me after a wedding we went to where i was totally rude to him . He never really talked to me or communcated the severity of things and that was the probelm and why this relationship wasnt saved. He never really cared. I have been chasing him for two months now and i found out hes moved already after a month and a half to some girl whos really a downgrade. This guy is 26 with a 20 year old. He was telling me how he wants to focus on himself and not worry about a relationship . Meanwhile, he is rebounding.. he told me he lost feelings and he kinda just played me and led me on for some time. I feel like he faked his feelings a lot in the end. Ive been to some psychics and they have told me that he will be back..but i dont know .. this is damaged beyond repair. I have been really broken casue he was all i had and i dont really have my own friends anymore. So i sit and sulk at home alone. I feel very hurt. The thought of him with someone else intimately makes me want to throw up because we always had a lot of faithfulness. I really feel disappointed more than anything. Ive been going through a lot. Most days i feel really disgusted towards night time and think he is nasty. In the mornings i am the worst, waking up to him gone out of my life after four years is hard. and i have poinless conversation with people for no reason. he was the only person i had a connection with in my life as its really ahrd for me to be soical and connect to people because i have low self esteem. Im seeking some spirtutal healing help and therpay. My question is do you guys think hell be back?
Altair0770 Posted June 20, 2017 Posted June 20, 2017 I'm not a psychic and neither are the people you paid. They don't know ****. I'd stop going there. Will he be back? Only ONE person knows that - him. You've identified your problems here. Stop worrying about what he's thinking and worry about yourself. Once you put yourself before him, you'll start feeling better. Correct those problems, regain your self esteem, and see what happens. But do it for YOU, not for HIM. 1
springy Posted June 20, 2017 Posted June 20, 2017 There is absolutely no way to predict whether he will come back. It's good that you are in therapy and such. It's a journey that is going to take time so don't expect a quick fix. Stop chasing this guy altogether. Stop watching his social media, don't ask anyone about him. Go dark. My guess is, once you become a healthier version of yourself you will no longer be interested in revisiting that relationship. 2
Author hello731 Posted June 20, 2017 Author Posted June 20, 2017 My ex broke up with me saying he doesn't want the stress of being in a relationship. He also lost feelings and never got them back. Within a couple of weeks he moved on to someone else. Is it just for sex that he's with her cause shes easy and he doesn't have to do relationship things? I feel realy badly about myself.. i feel played... we dated for four years. i dont feel good enough at all.
stillafool Posted June 20, 2017 Posted June 20, 2017 I seriously doubt he would get into a "relationship" just for sex. If she is that EASY he could make her a FWB and get sex without a relationship. More than likely he also has an emotional connection with her and that's why he is making her his girlfriend. 2
stillafool Posted June 20, 2017 Posted June 20, 2017 Most men do not view a 20 year old as a downgrade. If you guys were not compatible and you were rude to him all the time; he doesn't sound like the guy you need in your life anyway. It's always important to keep your own friends and hobbies when in a relationship so you will have people to lean on when something like this happens. I know it hurts now but I feel in time you will feel this was the best decision given what you have written above.
Gr8fuln2020 Posted June 20, 2017 Posted June 20, 2017 My ex broke up with me saying he doesn't want the stress of being in a relationship. He also lost feelings and never got them back. Within a couple of weeks he moved on to someone else. Is it just for sex that he's with her cause shes easy and he doesn't have to do relationship things? I feel realy badly about myself.. i feel played... we dated for four years. i dont feel good enough at all. He is likely looking for something new, fresh (flesh). He may have gotten bored with your relationship and is looking only for sex. One never really knows whether one is telling the truth or providing an excuse to end it. His telling you that he doesn't want to be in a relationship with anyone may be his way of lessening the blow of the break-up. You must have seen something happening before the break-up, no?
Zahara Posted June 20, 2017 Posted June 20, 2017 You have another thread that describes your relationship with him. Let him go. Regardless of what this new relationship means, what you had with him was toxic and clearly affecting your self-esteem. It is time for you to accept that this was never going to work and try to move on. 6
meta.morphate Posted June 20, 2017 Posted June 20, 2017 I'm not saying a 20-year-old is a downgrade or not, but she's probably impressed with him because he's older, and she's probably more fun because she's younger and maybe less interested in something serious (plus, aside from her being 20, she's new to him, so things are probably just "lighter"). Doesn't mean that will last. Typically, guys move on faster than girls ... girls go through the grieving process, and guys instantly move on.... then girls get over it, and guys are hit with what they lost months later, and try to come back. Obviously this is not the case all the time, but it seems to occur pretty frequently. You sound like you know you have your own issues, and are working on them. Not to be mean, but either you and he just weren't right for each other, or you genuinely have some negativity and darkness that is a barrier to your having a fun and positive relationship ... so kudos to you for getting into therapy and looking for spiritual healing. Focus on that, and whether he tries to come back or not, you'll be okay. 1
jamili Posted June 21, 2017 Posted June 21, 2017 (edited) Typically, guys move on faster than girls ... girls go through the grieving process, and guys instantly move on.... then girls get over it, and guys are hit with what they lost months later, and try to come back. Obviously this is not the case all the time, but it seems to occur pretty frequently. . Not true at all. I can say the same thing about my experiences with women. Its not constant. Its just a massive generalization. Speed and timing at which people get over exes depends on a lot of factors and comes down to the individual attachment type and personality, not the gender. Edited June 21, 2017 by jamili 1
4EverHisPrincess Posted June 21, 2017 Posted June 21, 2017 Hi sweetie…I’m sorry to hear that you’re feeling badly about yourself over your ex breaking up with you. Four years is a long time to share with someone, but try and stay positive & know that if the relationship was meant to be then he would still be there. Unfortunately, this is not the case, but if he’s looking to have sex with someone cuz they’re easy, then be thankful that it wasn’t you…YOU ARE WORTH SO MUCH MORE! After the tears and with time, things will get better. Take time to heal and ask God to guide you and lead you. Big hugs and blessings to you!
Redhead14 Posted June 21, 2017 Posted June 21, 2017 he's with her cause shes easy and he doesn't have to do relationship things? -- This is a very unfair statement to make about her. She may find herself in the same position you found yourself in. Dust yourself off and keep moving forward and focus on you and only you. Forget about him and her. She does not have a prize. You, on the other hand do, YOU and your future to do with as you please from now on. 1
preraph Posted June 21, 2017 Posted June 21, 2017 If it's just for sex with her, it may have just been for sex with you as well. There are guys whose main interest in a relationship is just sex. But then there are some you may genuinely share some interests with you or admire you in other ways. Anyway, he's moved on and I'm sorry because that was a long time. But sounds like he wanted to explore some more, and I just think you should try to do the same once the shock of it is over. Good luck. Oh, I would just add that he will probably come back around to see if you'll still sleep with him knowing he's with someone else so he can have sex with two women without really committing to either. That should be a no. And that is why you need to start dating or going out right away so you're not tempted.
Redhead14 Posted June 21, 2017 Posted June 21, 2017 Hey! So... this is crazy story. My ex and i have been together for four years. We were never really compatbile and he kind of watned to break it off for months before he actually did and stayed for belief feelings would change and hope things would get better. He would act really careless and that made me essentially be really negative around him, as i usually am anyway. He hates my personality and how negative and unpleasent i was around him always. So he broke up with me after a wedding we went to where i was totally rude to him . He never really talked to me or communcated the severity of things and that was the probelm and why this relationship wasnt saved. He never really cared. I have been chasing him for two months now and i found out hes moved already after a month and a half to some girl whos really a downgrade. This guy is 26 with a 20 year old. He was telling me how he wants to focus on himself and not worry about a relationship . Meanwhile, he is rebounding.. he told me he lost feelings and he kinda just played me and led me on for some time. I feel like he faked his feelings a lot in the end. Ive been to some psychics and they have told me that he will be back..but i dont know .. this is damaged beyond repair. I have been really broken casue he was all i had and i dont really have my own friends anymore. So i sit and sulk at home alone. I feel very hurt. The thought of him with someone else intimately makes me want to throw up because we always had a lot of faithfulness. I really feel disappointed more than anything. Ive been going through a lot. Most days i feel really disgusted towards night time and think he is nasty. In the mornings i am the worst, waking up to him gone out of my life after four years is hard. and i have poinless conversation with people for no reason. he was the only person i had a connection with in my life as its really ahrd for me to be soical and connect to people because i have low self esteem. Im seeking some spirtutal healing help and therpay. My question is do you guys think hell be back? We were never really compatbile He was telling me how he wants to focus on himself and not worry about a relationship -- He did want all that and he wants a relationship that doesn't worry him or stress him out. My question is do you guys think hell be back -- Not unless he is not a strong, young man who wants to live a drama free, non-toxic life for himself. This relationship has been a train wreck. Get YOURSELF back on track and start becoming a strong, secure, mature, independent young woman with a rich full live for herself.
Author hello731 Posted June 22, 2017 Author Posted June 22, 2017 Hi sweetie…I’m sorry to hear that you’re feeling badly about yourself over your ex breaking up with you. Four years is a long time to share with someone, but try and stay positive & know that if the relationship was meant to be then he would still be there. Unfortunately, this is not the case, but if he’s looking to have sex with someone cuz they’re easy, then be thankful that it wasn’t you…YOU ARE WORTH SO MUCH MORE! After the tears and with time, things will get better. Take time to heal and ask God to guide you and lead you. Big hugs and blessings to you! Thank you so much <3
Author hello731 Posted June 22, 2017 Author Posted June 22, 2017 If it's just for sex with her, it may have just been for sex with you as well. There are guys whose main interest in a relationship is just sex. But then there are some you may genuinely share some interests with you or admire you in other ways. Anyway, he's moved on and I'm sorry because that was a long time. But sounds like he wanted to explore some more, and I just think you should try to do the same once the shock of it is over. Good luck. Oh, I would just add that he will probably come back around to see if you'll still sleep with him knowing he's with someone else so he can have sex with two women without really committing to either. That should be a no. And that is why you need to start dating or going out right away so you're not tempted. nah hes not the type to do that. hes with her to rebound and forget. hes clearly hurting bad if hes doing this. so its all godo
Author hello731 Posted June 22, 2017 Author Posted June 22, 2017 We were never really compatbile He was telling me how he wants to focus on himself and not worry about a relationship -- He did want all that and he wants a relationship that doesn't worry him or stress him out. My question is do you guys think hell be back -- Not unless he is not a strong, young man who wants to live a drama free, non-toxic life for himself. This relationship has been a train wreck. Get YOURSELF back on track and start becoming a strong, secure, mature, independent young woman with a rich full live for herself. Not to be mean... but he was a pretty horrible human being to me..he neglected me as his girlfriend which caused me to be unhappy and insecure ect.. Thank you for the advice.
jacekszefunio Posted June 22, 2017 Posted June 22, 2017 I'm sure that now you love him. But one day you will understand that sometimes better allow somebody go free...
Been Posted June 22, 2017 Posted June 22, 2017 Oh he will come around when they go through a rough patch to see if he can sleep with you. How is he hurting when he chose to break up with you?
Author hello731 Posted June 22, 2017 Author Posted June 22, 2017 Oh he will come around when they go through a rough patch to see if he can sleep with you. How is he hurting when he chose to break up with you? idk he told me it hurts him.. but who knows anymore
Recommended Posts