28 year old man, never had a serious relationship - very frustrated with dating

[AltarsofMadness]

Fair enough but that's just been my experience. Men who are that attractive usually have no problem pulling women. My cousin for example is good looking, fit, drives a beamer, makes good money. HEven one of my friends asked me who is that and said how his body is nice, and that's not her usual type. i am not saying they don't have to put in work but most women aren't rejecting a man of that caliber, unless she's taken/not her type.

 

You're looking at it from outside perspective. I'm telling you from personal experience - not only in terms of myself but I have lots of male friends who are very good looking and in fantastic shape who have had really mediocre dating success. I have another friend of mine who is 28, pharmacist making 160K, good looking face, in awesome shape, very smart, one of the absolute nicest guys I've ever known. He never had any dating success until he recently married a woman that I don't think is even slightly attractive at all...I talked to his brother and his brother says everybody in the family and all his friends hate her and that she is no good.

 

Dating for men and women is very very different. if you're a woman and you're objectively a good catch, you will have a trillion options. If you're a man and you're objectively a good catch, you may have a few options or you may be a 28 year old who has never had a serious relationship and has suffered miserably as a result of it. The basic problem is men work on a logical level and women don't.

 

 

I don't think OLD is worthless. It works for some. I know this girl, attractive, curvy and she found her boyfriend. And he's a straight laced dude, nice job. And they are both are like 26/27.

 

curvy you mean overweight?

 

I'm not interested in a woman who is not in decent shape at least. I'm a hardcore fitness fanatic

 

You might need to do paid subscription sites or just be more persistent. Hit up all the women you want and hopefully it clicks. At least try it for a few months.

 

I'm willing to try every paid site and message 5,000 women

 

 

...but it's absolutely terrifying knowing that, I'm apparently not good enough for the 25 year olds I approach in real life, how can I be good enough for the 25 year olds online who receive a billion messages a day from men who are insanely perfect looking?

[clia]

Dating for men and women is very very different. if you're a woman and you're objectively a good catch, you will have a trillion options. If you're a man and you're objectively a good catch, you may have a few options or you may be a 28 year old who has never had a serious relationship and has suffered miserably as a result of it. The basic problem is men work on a logical level and women don't.

 

I see you are still operating on this skewed logic. You come across on this site as relatively bitter toward women. I wonder if that's coming out in your interactions?

 

I'm willing to try every paid site and message 5,000 women

 

People suggested you do this years ago -- did you ever do it? Are you on Tinder? How are you trying to meet women? If I recall correctly part of your problem that was identified here was that you rarely actually asked women out.

 

...but it's absolutely terrifying knowing that, I'm apparently not good enough for the 25 year olds I approach in real life, how can I be good enough for the 25 year olds online who receive a billion messages a day from men who are insanely perfect looking?

 

How many 25 year olds are you approaching in real life?

 

It would likely help a lot if you would go to the city every now and then. Maybe join some Meetup groups in the city and go to their events. There are thousands upon thousands of women in their early to late 20s living in the city who don't have children and are attractive. You are definitely limiting yourself by staying in your suburb.

[AltarsofMadness]

I see you are still operating on this skewed logic. You come across on this site as relatively bitter toward women. I wonder if that's coming out in your interactions?

 

not bitter at all

 

Dating as a woman is basic math

Dating as a man is advanced trigonometry

 

The difficulty level is completely one sided but I've known that for a while. My sister who is about as good looking as I am but was not college educated, didn't make any money and was about the same personality type as I am (we're almost like twins) had dozens of good looking and upscale men dying to get with her. I've long accepted that

 

 

How many 25 year olds are you approaching in real life?

 

It would likely help a lot if you would go to the city every now and then. Maybe join some Meetup groups in the city and go to their events. There are thousands upon thousands of women in their early to late 20s living in the city who don't have children and are attractive. You are definitely limiting yourself by staying in your suburb.

 

I've been going to the city a lot more but I've had terrible success. The girl on Saturday was from city

 

I went to a couple country concerts and I met a few women who seemed to like me but 1 was 19 and still in college, 1 was over 35 and the others weren't attractive.

[Mkn1010]

You sound like someone lacking substance particularly with your rigid standards on age!! Also, the characteristics you mentioned that apparently make you the kinda guy "every woman wants" sound terribly superficial (not to mention arrogant).

[AltarsofMadness]

You sound like someone lacking substance particularly with your rigid standards on age!! Also, the characteristics you mentioned that apparently make you the kinda guy "every woman wants" sound terribly superficial (not to mention arrogant).

 

"rigid standards about age" - there is a math behind the madness. Most girls at 18-21 are going to be in a much much different stage in life than I will be and way too immature, unstable, flaky, etc.... plus they don't know what they want, where they will be working, etc.... Women over 30 are always going to bring more baggage to the table than what I want. If they don't already have kids (very unlikely), they will want to have kids ASAP. For me, somebody around 23-28 will be perfect - she is a little more settled down/established and she is looking to get married and have kids within 3-5 years

 

 

as far as what I personally bring to the table, I dunno what to tell you. I'm a raging perfectionist - I've worked very hard at improving every aspect of myself. I feel like I'm a good balance of everything somebody would want in a male my age, whether it's superficial or morals/character based. I was raised by my parents to value people and I go out of my way to treat everybody extraordinarily well

[Woon]

Dude, Im sorry, but why do you keep bring up how good looking and successful you are? Im your age, I know im not bad looking and im moderately successful. Trust me when i say this. Girls, especially the ones youre targeting, want fun and outgoing partners. If you happen to be rich and goodlooking, thats just a bonus to them.

[elaine567]

Were you born in the US or were you born in Eastern Europe?

Which Eastern European country?