3 months and still not coping.

[Fallen_Angel]

Oh, gosh, is it ever a battle.

 

I'm in the midst of a relapse. I want to call my ex SO badly but I'm trying to convince myself not to. I ask myself, what do I hope to accomplish by doing this? And usually my answer is some silly variation of: I want to hear his voice, I want some sort of clue that he still cares, blah blah blah.

 

And I think the same thing...yes, what CAN I do to get things back to the way they were? But the honest truth is, there is NOTHING I can do except move on. I have to prove to myself, and to him, and the rest of the world that I am a strong person. My self-worth is in no way, shape or form reliant upon whether I have someone in my life. I DO have a life I need to concentrate on. I have a job that I'm scared I'll fail at; I want more than anything to succeed, so I feel as though I need to expend my energy on making sure that happens.

 

So that's my challenge to you, LNY. Eventually it may sink in to your ex's brain that you're gone, but your goal is to be totally indifferent when that happens. Sure, I bet you had a fantastic relationship, but the bottom line is SHE HURT YOU. Would the girl you thought you knew, or anyone you loved for that matter, hurt you like this? Should you have to put up with that?

 

It's going to take time. Heck, I'm approaching the five month mark (I can hardly believe that, but it's true) and some days/moments - like right this second! - I feel like it just happened. The trick is to string together minutes, then hours, then days where your ex is just a blip on the radar, or better yet not there at all.

[SummerRae]

Originally posted by Fallen_Angel

It's going to take time. Heck, I'm approaching the five month mark (I can hardly believe that, but it's true) and some days/moments - like right this second! - I feel like it just happened. The trick is to string together minutes, then hours, then days where your ex is just a blip on the radar, or better yet not there at all.

 

fing WORD!! SOOOOOOOOOOO TRUE.

[LNY]

Thanks Fallen_Angel,

 

Yeah thats it, every time I go to call/sms her, I stop and think to myself "what is it going to achieve? she seems to have someone else in her life now, she obviously doesn't have time for me, so why should I bother? She doesn't want to hear from you. Even if I do talk to her, all it's gonna make me do is feel like crap... **** that!"

 

I'm slowly getting there, all in time I guess. *chin up*

[Fallen_Angel]

Originally posted by LNY

Even if I do talk to her, all it's gonna make me do is feel like crap... **** that!"

 

You're so very right. Yet I've found myself giving in soooo many times. And initially I feel better: "Yay, I heard his voice, yay, we got to 'talk'." But again, what does it accomplish exactly?

 

I'll tell you. SQUAT.

 

If anything, you feel worse than you did before you initiated the contact. At least at that point you still have a shred of dignity.

 

Dignity is my favorite word anymore. I feel like an idiot for calling my ex; it's like I fell off the wagon. Don't make the same stupid mistakes I do.