coolheadal Posted October 20, 2017 Share Posted October 20, 2017 Omgosh at people saying nigella Lawson is not hot. Those jugs and her grasshopper pie alone make her hot. What's wrong with you people ... Anyway! Ask the girl out! Be confident! Don't call yourself "ugly"!. (Don't like that word). I agree with the person who says glasses are hot. Keep improving yourself. Get healthy, get successful, get a good sense of fashion. Etc Basically, we're all given a hand in life and we just got to work with it. I have to agree with you about nigella Lawson I don't know her, I just looked her up. If she wore some black framed eye glasses she would be knock out for sure! LOL I alway like a woman wearing glasses. This one reminds me of my English teacher in college they both looked alike. Anyway most of our psychologist here might be napping right now at this time of the day.. LOL 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Author CarAndZam Posted October 20, 2017 Author Share Posted October 20, 2017 At this day and age you shouldn't be operating in the dark. We have women pretty much completely figured out. If you are failing at something then you should be able to figure out why. Here is the thing... you got all insecure with this girl. She liked you and then you started pressuring her for more time and acting needy. Insecurity makes you seem very unattractive. Instead of acting needy you should have done more flirting, more physicality and waited for her to get more emotionally attached. Do you understand this? Yeah I understand. Where do you think I got needy and insecure in my posts? Like what was it that I did that came off as needy? So I can learn. Link to post Share on other sites
coolheadal Posted October 20, 2017 Share Posted October 20, 2017 You don't understand. Read my first post on this site. On Second Chances. I asked her if I can fix that things. She said she'll think about it since she didn't have a clear head.But a yesterday over a week had gone by since that convo and no contact whatsoever. So I just unfollowed her on social media. Figured it was easier to move on. 30 minutes later she also unfollowed me on social media as well. On all 3 social media sites we were following each other. Pretty sad. So yeah, as much as I don't want it to be, it's pretty much over. After that, she tweeted (yes I still looked at her profile afterward) this "loo t laughing all this off. I didn't mean anything to her. You got the link to your thread.. But you two are over what shame. We men make the worst mistakes in life. I lost my love in College. I can only go back and watch myself repeat the same comment. I wish I could change the past then the present would be what I really wanted. Who has a time machine here... grrr! Link to post Share on other sites
Author CarAndZam Posted October 20, 2017 Author Share Posted October 20, 2017 You got the link to your thread.. But you two are over what shame. We men make the worst mistakes in life. I lost my love in College. I can only go back and watch myself repeat the same comment. I wish I could change the past then the present would be what I really wanted. Who has a time machine here... grrr! http://www.loveshack.org/forums/breaking-up-reconciliation-coping/second-chances/638740-i-ended-things-girl-because-i-insecure-i-want-second-chance Here you go. Long post Link to post Share on other sites
coolheadal Posted October 20, 2017 Share Posted October 20, 2017 (edited) Yeah I understand. Where do you think I got needy and insecure in my posts? Like what was it that I did that came off as needy? So I can learn. Oh you, he said you where pressing her for more time. But we all do that with our women.I had one woman tell me she gave me all the time she could have . I am not needy. I would the woman I am interested to spend time with me. Some folks here I guess they're more like independent rather not see their love one so much. Most men rather go out with the guys shoot pool, watch foot ball and I feel sorry for the girls they love to be with, but really for get them at the end of the day. A lot of women think we're going to let them down when they want to go out and have some fun with us on Sunday. Then the NFL is on most guys just don't care about anything else except that darn game. I am not selfish I rather turn off the game and go be with the women you of our dreams and not with the football in your hand. Some women just don't like guys to cling or be needy around them and those type of women just don't know better. To have someone love you so much instead of don't care about your needs you have needs but she might have felt otherwise. Edited October 20, 2017 by coolheadal Link to post Share on other sites
coolheadal Posted October 20, 2017 Share Posted October 20, 2017 http://www.loveshack.org/forums/breaking-up-reconciliation-coping/second-chances/638740-i-ended-things-girl-because-i-insecure-i-want-second-chance Here you go. Long post Okay I know I am the same my friend with posting.. Your young so you can get away with it. I am older I can't LOL. You tell your story very well. A lot here don't like to read long stories. I told them they can sit back and let their expensive computer do the reading for them.. They just have to grab a coffee and enjoy your story.. Link to post Share on other sites
Cobra_X Posted October 20, 2017 Share Posted October 20, 2017 Yeah I understand. Where do you think I got needy and insecure in my posts? Like what was it that I did that came off as needy? So I can learn. You asked her for more attention than she was willing to give you. If a woman is emotionally invested in you, then you don't have to ask her for attention, because she will be giving it. When you ask for attention that she isn't ready to give then you look very insecure and needy. Women hate that. When you dumped her... that was a good move. Notice that she cried all night and then came running to you? Then you ruined it by going and apologizing and literally telling her about your insecurities. Your entire focus should be on getting sex. Once you have achieved that... and performed adequately... she will begin to fall in love with you. You need to project confidence at all times. Insecurity is only something you should display much later in the relationship and only in certain circumstances. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
coolheadal Posted October 20, 2017 Share Posted October 20, 2017 Cobra X she has family obligations and responsibilities, taking care of her younger brother while the single mom is working out of town. She doesn't have the time for him. They're very young also.. She didn't say he was her boyfriend. Can't blame him for doing what he could for her. She just doesn't have the free time. Link to post Share on other sites
anna121 Posted October 20, 2017 Share Posted October 20, 2017 Nigella hasn't aged all that well (she is after all almost 60) but was very beautiful when younger. OP: personality and confidence are, at least, as important as looks. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
d0nnivain Posted October 20, 2017 Share Posted October 20, 2017 You did the right thing by breaking up with this girl. Yes, she may have had a lot on her plate but 7 dates in 4 months is ridiculous. She could have found some time, especially to text you or squeeze in a phone call. In your 1st post you paint yourself as this needy insecure guy. Insecure I'll give you but you were not needy. You don't see it but your gut knew something was off. This was only part of a relationship; this girl wasn't pulling her weight. She liked it when you flattered her & chased her but as soon as she was required to make an effort she blew it back on you & accused you of being needy. If she had been attentive -- or even polite -- you would not have to beg for scraps of her attention. What if I don't know how to make friend either? I haven't had friends since like middle school. Not because I want to be alone but because I'm just socially awkward and shy. First you have to learn to crawl before you can walk or run. Learn to make friends. Join a club or group on campus that interests you. Be active & visible. If you are having fun people will gravitate to you. If you think you are ugly what do you think good looking looks like & what are you doing to make yourself good looking? Exercise will help. More muscle definition will help. Plus exercise releases good endorphins which promote happiness. Get contacts if you don't like your glasses. Do something to address your acne. Dress better. If you look like a $1M you will feel more confident. Baggy sweats looking like you rolled out of bed will bring your mood down. Buy some stylish shirts, good jeans & real but comfy shoes. As your confidence grows you will better be able to socialize. Perhaps seek out counseling on campus. Like anything else, the ability to interact with others is a skill that can be learned. So study up. Link to post Share on other sites
olivetree Posted October 20, 2017 Share Posted October 20, 2017 IMO #1 thing to do: GO TO THE GYM!!!! 2 Link to post Share on other sites
Author CarAndZam Posted October 20, 2017 Author Share Posted October 20, 2017 You did the right thing by breaking up with this girl. Yes, she may have had a lot on her plate but 7 dates in 4 months is ridiculous. She could have found some time, especially to text you or squeeze in a phone call. In your 1st post you paint yourself as this needy insecure guy. Insecure I'll give you but you were not needy. You don't see it but your gut knew something was off. This was only part of a relationship; this girl wasn't pulling her weight. She liked it when you flattered her & chased her but as soon as she was required to make an effort she blew it back on you & accused you of being needy. If she had been attentive -- or even polite -- you would not have to beg for scraps of her attention. First you have to learn to crawl before you can walk or run. Learn to make friends. Join a club or group on campus that interests you. Be active & visible. If you are having fun people will gravitate to you. If you think you are ugly what do you think good looking looks like & what are you doing to make yourself good looking? Exercise will help. More muscle definition will help. Plus exercise releases good endorphins which promote happiness. Get contacts if you don't like your glasses. Do something to address your acne. Dress better. If you look like a $1M you will feel more confident. Baggy sweats looking like you rolled out of bed will bring your mood down. Buy some stylish shirts, good jeans & real but comfy shoes. As your confidence grows you will better be able to socialize. Perhaps seek out counseling on campus. Like anything else, the ability to interact with others is a skill that can be learned. So study up. I'm already exercising PHUL program I'm doing. But I'm not seeing results because I can't get my diet down just yet. Need for protein and calories but since I'm a big guy, 3500 calories is ****ing expensive ****. Link to post Share on other sites
Romantic_Antics Posted October 20, 2017 Share Posted October 20, 2017 You got the link to your thread.. But you two are over what shame. We men make the worst mistakes in life. I lost my love in College. I can only go back and watch myself repeat the same comment. I wish I could change the past then the present would be what I really wanted. Who has a time machine here... grrr! And this, my friend, is why The Butterfly Effect is one of my favorite movies. If you saw it then remember the lesson, though, that trying to change the past doesn't always make the present what you want it to be. Link to post Share on other sites
d0nnivain Posted October 20, 2017 Share Posted October 20, 2017 I'm already exercising PHUL program I'm doing. But I'm not seeing results because I can't get my diet down just yet. Need for protein and calories but since I'm a big guy, 3500 calories is ****ing expensive ****. Good for you. Learn more about nutrition & cooking for yourself or making better choices in the dining hall. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
alphamale Posted October 20, 2017 Share Posted October 20, 2017 I didn't think I was good looking when I was 19. As I got older I learned I was above average in the looks dept. A lot of it is your mental image of yourself. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Author CarAndZam Posted October 21, 2017 Author Share Posted October 21, 2017 Good for you. Learn more about nutrition & cooking for yourself or making better choices in the dining hall. should I approach women even if I'm not muscular yet? Link to post Share on other sites
CautiouslyOptimistic Posted October 21, 2017 Share Posted October 21, 2017 Raise your hand if you have would have bet even a penny that this thread would have even mentioned Nigella Lawson's name when you read the title! Link to post Share on other sites
coolheadal Posted October 21, 2017 Share Posted October 21, 2017 And this, my friend, is why The Butterfly Effect is one of my favorite movies. If you saw it then remember the lesson, though, that trying to change the past doesn't always make the present what you want it to be. Changing it would change current paradox into something different. Yeah I see that movie all time travel ones. Still one can't only have hope! Link to post Share on other sites
coolheadal Posted October 21, 2017 Share Posted October 21, 2017 (edited) I'm already exercising PHUL program I'm doing. But I'm not seeing results because I can't get my diet down just yet. Need for protein and calories but since I'm a big guy, 3500 calories is ****ing expensive ****. Stop taking oils, vinegar, salt, sugar, (aim for unsweetened) into your system Drink tea for fat loss that would be pure green tea so you would brew it let it stand at room temp. Then drink that instead of water anything else. Protein and ind "this quote The human body needs iodine to make thyroid hormone. " Get that iodine in seaweed where do you get that go to Walmart it cost like $2.98 for 10 sheets it's what you make sushi out of but your not doing that. You add it to your salad yes you have to it that way. You have give up a lot now for protein you can white mushrooms, will boost you up. Raw beans too but too much beans and nuts can screw-up #2 in waste drops rest room type.. Clog your system. Lose Weight 3 meals a day Gain Muscle Toning 6 meals a day 3 meals a day 3 snacks a day Abs 6 pack Look at ab coaster pro or max That's all that machine works on and the sides reverse sit-up approach. Tummy will shrink in size not fast but slowly. I was a big guy also not any more.. No excuse to be that way health wise I don't even see a doctor, I am not sick or have any issues other than tighten up my stomach I am focus that only. Results are good what I have shared above is what I doing. I am already strong even though I might not look it but I do 350 lbs leg bench press that's good enough for me up 150 lbs butterflies not going to be the hulk but I am toned.. If I can do you it you sure can try.. Edited October 21, 2017 by coolheadal Link to post Share on other sites
d0nnivain Posted October 21, 2017 Share Posted October 21, 2017 should I approach women even if I'm not muscular yet? It depends. You need to approach new people -- friends & potential romantic interests -- from a happy, secure, confident place. Are you there yet? If you come at new people with a defeatist attitude -- Hi, I'm ugly & subpar in the following ways but will you be my friend anyway out of pity -- you are not going to get far. Back to you have to crawl before you can run or walk . . . I'd take baby steps. Practice saying hi to strangers. Just hi with a smile or nod. Do talk to guys -- potential buddies -- on your floor, in whatever activities you participate in and in class. Give yourself some time -- make sure your work out routine is a habit which takes about 45 days -- before you tackle romance. I would focus on yourself for the rest of this semester & start fresh in Spring semester with the plan to have the new & improved you get a GF then. This also takes the holiday pressure off yourself. Link to post Share on other sites
Lovedianaroses Posted October 21, 2017 Share Posted October 21, 2017 First of all, you have to stop calling yourself ugly. Nobody would've thought you were ugly, but because you said you are ugly, we are all suddenly imagining an ugly person in our minds. From that one comment, it makes you sounds like an insecure person with no confidence and that is a turnoff for most women. There's always the cliche that women love bad boys and that's because most jerks are overconfident and women find confidence attractive. You should learn to love yourself first and find the good things about you. Maybe you don't think you have the physical qualities that you believe are good looking but you probably have something positive. Like you said you were tall. Who doesn't want a tall man? Feel proud that you are tall. You don't have one thing, but you do have another good thing to make up for that. How about your personality? Most women love men with a sense of humor. They would rather be with the sweet and funny guy than the good looking but cold and boring guy. When you approach women, be friendly not creepy "I wanna hit on you but I'm too shy I don't know what to say I'm nervous" attitude. Be comfortable with yourself and act like how you would to a friend. Look into their eyes when you talk, give compliments, and ask questions about their life. Show that you care about who they are. One day it will all come naturally. Link to post Share on other sites
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