Dumped for being "too shy"

[tomoyo]

That doesn't really mean anything...what you he said. OLD is far from the only place a guy can pick up girls, esp if he's in a band. I don't know how you could know and keep tabs if he barely contacted you and went silent for periods?

 

 

His band was only just getting going, I had been to all of their public concerts so far. He wouldn't contact me much, but he would check in and see what I was up to and let me know what he was up to, always verifiable. I have pretty good instincts when it comes to knowing if there is someone else, I would be really shocked to find out if this guy was, in the past that is one thing that I have never been off base on.

[Cookiesandough]

Kk. I just have a feeling he was with how rarely he wanted to see you, sparse contact, that sounds like a multidater from all I've heard. But even not in a band, just out with friends at bars etc it's not hard for a typical guy to get numbers if he's a social guy at all. Just saying OLD is not the only place guys get girls. Not even the 1st place as it barely works for most men.

 

 

But you do you, contact him if you think it will help clarify.

[Cookiesandough]

I also want to add part of the reason why I think that he wasn't committed was because you made a thread a while back about him acting sketchy and flighty and backing out of meeting your family. I think he was not seeing this long term. He was keeping his options open. I would not worry about this guy or contact him again. The signs were there but I understand that sometimes our feelings are hard control or we see things differently

Edited October 20, 2017 by Cookiesandough

[tomoyo]

I also want to add part of the reason why I think that he wasn't committed was because you made a thread a while back about him acting sketchy and flighty not wanting to meet your family because he wasn't ready. I think he was not seeing this long term. He was keeping his options open. I would not worry about this guy or contact him again but I understand that sometimes our feelings are hard control

 

I think you are right. It's probably not worth it. I guess if he was also unsatisfied with how this ended he would contact me, I usually feel that it is the dumper's responsibility to mend things, no the dumpee. I just felt bad about hanging up on him and wish it hadn't ended in anger, but at the same time if you dump someone over the phone I shouldn't feel that bad about reacting that way. I'll just leave it then.

[Cookiesandough]

I agree. Contacting him will look like groveling. ( although I'm not above it )He needs to come back. I just doubt that will happen and think you should move on as much as it sucks. Even if he came back I don't think it'd work.im sorry

Edited October 20, 2017 by Cookiesandough

[j2415p44]

I’m so sorry to hear about your boyfriend. It hurts when someone does not accept you for who you are. I know this feeling based on my personal experience. While reading your post, I remember my previous boyfriend. I used to be shy and he’s trying to change me. Whenever we were with group of people he’s trying to force me to socialize but I was not comfortable doing it. I found this article, that says being an introvert can be a challenge but introverts can benefit from being around extroverts and vice versa, http://bit.ly/2yYK9vF

I hope this helps.

 

I hope you can talk to him, update us please. Thank you for sharing. I will be praying for you.

[Whodatdog]

I think that was just an excuse to break up with you. It didnt seem he was really that interested in you, and you just didnt seem to be his type. It happens. I dont think there was anything you could have done any differently.