Cobra_X Posted October 16, 2017 Share Posted October 16, 2017 I'll probably do it Tuesday night. She has a public speaking presentation today and I don't want to be blamed for her stage fright Simple fact is that the girls already have fathers and you have no legal right to them. The longer you play the father role the worse it will be for both. Their mom is going to control the narrative when your gone anyway. Maybe she will be nice, but probably not. I have a good friend that was dating a woman 10 years older with two daughters just like you. They dated for a long time. They just broke up last year as she is almost 50. He is now dating the oldest daughter... who he helped raise. I think that's called pulling a Woody Allen. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
coolheadal Posted October 16, 2017 Share Posted October 16, 2017 lol I wouldn't do a runner, it's nothing like that. Truth is, she is childish and makes very poor decisions. This is the stone cold truth. She speaks without a filter about most topics, regardless of anyones feelings. I have umpteen examples to cite on this topic but i'll spare you (unless you're genuinely curious ) But from a logic perspective, I just think she has work to do and a lot of learning. I feel especially bad for her kids, because as a mother, especially in her situation, you should be putting your best foot forward to make sure they get the support they deserve. it's extra sad because the older girl (almost 15, in HS, and beginning to really crave someone to ask important life questions to) has begun to come to me with those questions: What should I do as a major in college? WHERE should i go to college? How do I make friends in HS? etc etc... All questions I happily sat her down and answered. Her mother didn't attend a university, she's in the medical field but didn't need a college degree to do what she does. And the fathers...well...let's say they don't have much insight into college Not to get too personal, but her older one reminds me of myself at that age, and I took her under my wing. She's gone as far as to say she loves me, which haunts me now. I'll probably do it Tuesday night. She has a public speaking presentation today and I don't want to be blamed for her stage fright So the mom is CNA - certified nurse assistant. She doesn't need a degree in that field. Tell me how she talks to you. Let me here this? I've heard some woman talk to me and they make no sense what so ever. You did a very good job with the 15 year old trust you enough to ask you those question very good. But the mom is the one you would have to be with and she's not 100% stable isn't she? She's train wreck or something else. You know her better than us here. Of course now everyone going to say hmmm? The girls will adapt to the next guy they're grown not a 5 year old. Link to post Share on other sites
Author tbonie12 Posted October 16, 2017 Author Share Posted October 16, 2017 Simple fact is that the girls already have fathers and you have no legal right to them. The longer you play the father role the worse it will be for both. Their mom is going to control the narrative when your gone anyway. Maybe she will be nice, but probably not. I have a good friend that was dating a woman 10 years older with two daughters just like you. They dated for a long time. They just broke up last year as she is almost 50. He is now dating the oldest daughter... who he helped raise. I think that's called pulling a Woody Allen. This is absolutely insane + amazing + so many other words lol Link to post Share on other sites
Author tbonie12 Posted October 16, 2017 Author Share Posted October 16, 2017 Here's my honest take on the situation: -She has low self esteem, and uses the attention of men to try to validate and build herself up. This will likely never change (therapy would be the only way). -You are out of her league and she knows it. As compared to her two baby daddies, you are far and away a much better man. She "knows" she's going to lose you, she may even be sabotaging things to get to the inevitable end. -She's not worth your effort. You can do much, much better. Best of luck. I will say that this is likely spot on. Something i'l never know - but makes damn good sense to me. Link to post Share on other sites
ayoung73 Posted October 22, 2017 Share Posted October 22, 2017 If it is worth fighting for I’d say go to therapy, she has issues with intimacy (I know it’s an obvious statement), but it is something she needs to work through or it will never end. You have every right to feel this way and it sucks. She needs to be all in and that means to trust and to be exclusive….we all know right from wrong, we feel it every time (unless you’re a Ted Bundy), and if it feels wrong STOP. Seriously, get professional help, she may need one on one and couple, but go and build the foundation back up! Link to post Share on other sites
AltarsofMadness Posted October 22, 2017 Share Posted October 22, 2017 and this right here is exactly why I want nothing to do with dating a woman with kids. I don't want another man involved in my life OP you're a late 20s guy. Why settle with a woman with heavy baggage who obviously has some issues? Link to post Share on other sites
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