Thoughts on someone asking to continue dating next year?

[CautiouslyOptimistic]

Cookies, do you even want to date right now? It kinda seems like you do, but also really seems like you don't. Nobody is forcing you to, you know . You're young and have plenty of time to put dating off and just focus on school right now if that would lessen the stress over all of this.

[RecentChange]

Cookies...

 

Remember that these guys have feelings too.

 

You really need to step away from dating, and get some professional help for your anxiety.

 

Until then, you will keep treating guys like play things, fun for attention but then you freak out and discard them. The ultimate time waster.

 

I know it's not intentional on your part, but it's not nice, and it's not fair to do this to people.

 

And the fact that you lost two nights sleep over a few texts shows how out of control your anxiety is getting - I am sure it's not fun for you! It sounds miserable. I hate being anxious, and I couldn't imagine such extreme anxiety over a little thing.

 

Please get some help, you don't have to live like this... And until then, leave the guys alone, all you are doing is teasing and confusing them.

[Miss Spider]

Cookies, do you even want to date right now? It kinda seems like you do, but also really seems like you don't. Nobody is forcing you to, you know . You're young and have plenty of time to put dating off and just focus on school right now if that would lessen the stress over all of this.

 

Thanks. I’m not sure. Maybe it is like blackheart said and I am anxious, but at the same time I’m looking for a connection. Thank you.

 

Clia, it’s easy to see someone is rude and mean if you don’t know the internal struggle they are going through. I didn’t want to be rude, so I asked what I should do. No one knew. I think it would seem more like I was playing a game if I told him now barely two days later that we aren’t compatible even though it’s the truth. And now people are saying I should have told him that, it’s too late. He’s blocked and his number is gone. It’s mean to keep going on dates with someone you’re not compatible with and there’s already bad blood. The truth is there was no way it could end well.

 

It’s easy to see a person as mean but you don’t know how bad it was paining and how much anxiety it was causing me — doubtful a fraction of what it bugged him. This guy is extremely handsome and he’s a talented pianist. I doubt he will shed any tears or have problems getting girls. He might be confused if he reaches out, but like BA said, I did him a favor.

 

I have a date tonight and I hope to get a fresh start.

 

This thread can also be closed. I’m sorry for wasting everyone’s time before.But thank you

[LivingWaterPlease]

Cookies, I have another question for you. Do you take benzos at all now, even once in a great while? Like once every couple of months you take just one?

[Miss Spider]

Cookies, I have another question for you. Do you take benzos at all now, even once in a great while? Like once every couple of months you take just one?

 

I don’t take them at all, livingwater. I feel they’re dangerous for me. Why do you ask?

[LivingWaterPlease]

I don’t take them at all, livingwater. I feel they’re dangerous for me. Why do you ask?

 

Just trying to rule out residual effects as a reason for anxiety. Some people can take just one pill and have it affect them by causing bouts of anxiety for months afterwards. But, guess that's not the case with you since you never take them.

[joseb]

 

It’s easy to see a person as mean but you don’t know how bad it was paining and how much anxiety it was causing me — doubtful a fraction of what it bugged him. This guy is extremely handsome and he’s a talented pianist. I doubt he will shed any tears or have problems getting girls. He might be confused if he reaches out, but like BA said, I did him a favor.

 

I have a date tonight and I hope to get a fresh start.

 

From what I understand, you are also very good looking. Does that mean you wouldn't mind if a guy did this to you?

 

He can't go from the most amazing guy ever that you are totally besotted with, to totally "incompatible" overnight.

 

You have to get a handle on your anxiety and your thinking.

It's bad for you, and it's unfair to the guys you are messing about and thinking that they don't have feelings.

 

Two nights not sleeping over something so trivial as going on a date...please go get some help.

You lose sleep if a loved one is in a life or death struggle after an accident, or your kid is missing. Or your house burnt down and you didn't have insurance. Not over meeting people for something that's fun.

[Miss Spider]

I am not v good looking but otherwise you are right on everything you say.

 

 

My anxiety is extremely disproportionate to the circumstance and I need help.

 

What happened was last night I asked him if I could have a selfie. And he change the subject and then he asked me for my last name. Then he told me was done(therefore time to talk) and I never responded to him. And early this morning he said he’s back in Indy and he sent me a selfie and asked me what I would be doing today. And I freaked out. The truth is we might be compatible but I am too scared. Too scared of where it leads

 

I am going out with a guy this evening just to have some fun. I hope it’s fun but it will probably be a disaster like every other romantic encounter I’ve ever had in my life

Edited January 14, 2018 by Cookiesandough