Author fred123 Posted October 5, 2017 Author Share Posted October 5, 2017 And how did that feel to be treated like this? Bad right? Yes it would feel hurtful to me too and it would feel hurtful to a lot of people too. That's not the point though. It's not about how people would feel, it's about how YOU feel. if YOU feel bad in a relationship you end it. You need to trust how YOU feel, it's YOUR life it's not ours, it's not people's life, it's YOURS so YOU get to decide what feels good or not. Do you get that? I was scared and am scared to feel how i feel. I felt that it comes across needy and desparate and pathetic. I would tell her how id feel in a certai situation and shed play it down and make me feel crap for mentioning it. I wanna give a couple of examples. One time we were sitting at the gym cafe downstairs and talking. She was my girlfriend at the time. A tennis coach walked past us and she stared at him with a smile for 30 secs as he walked past. It was so obvious and blatant. I felt hurt cos i was sitting opposite her and felt a bit disrespected and also she has never looked that way at m3 before and i wish she did. I told her this via text a few hours after and she replied " there is good eye candy and you can stare just like there is also good eye candy for you also fred. I do like you a lot:)" Another example my girlfriend had a spare ticket to a tennis event and posted it on facebook who wanted to go with her. People replied on the status. I wrote ' take me ♡". She then messaged me saying she saw i wrote that. She didnt like it or respond to it. She told me that people saw that i wrote it and that she didnt really like it because she never did this kind of lovey dovey stuff with her ex and he never wrote on her wall like that" I felt really hurt. I didnt know what i did wrong. I then ended up deleting her on facebook because i thought wats the point if i cant write or comment on her wall. She then messaged me saying that her friend thought i was childish for deleting her on facebook. Please give me advice opinions on this. Cos i had no idea what to do or feel or react Link to post Share on other sites
Cookiesandough Posted October 5, 2017 Share Posted October 5, 2017 :face palm: She was clearly mistreating you. You knew it! You chose to ignore it. Just don't ignore it next time. 2 Link to post Share on other sites
Gaeta Posted October 5, 2017 Share Posted October 5, 2017 Please give me advice opinions on this. Cos i had no idea what to do or feel or react You were feeling disrespected and unimportant that's how you felt. We don't chose to feel something, we feel - period. Like I said, when you are in a relationship and it does not feel good you end it. You don't wait for it to feel wrong for 7 months, if it feels bad a few times and it doesn't change over 1-2 months you end it. How you should have reacted? You should have broke up with her. You really really need to start TRUSTING YOURSELF. Trust how you feel. If it feels bad then drop it ! don't ask yourself what other people would have done. Just do it! 1 Link to post Share on other sites
olivetree Posted October 5, 2017 Share Posted October 5, 2017 I was scared and am scared to feel how i feel. I felt that it comes across needy and desparate and pathetic. I would tell her how id feel in a certai situation and shed play it down and make me feel crap for mentioning it. I wanna give a couple of examples. One time we were sitting at the gym cafe downstairs and talking. She was my girlfriend at the time. A tennis coach walked past us and she stared at him with a smile for 30 secs as he walked past. It was so obvious and blatant. I felt hurt cos i was sitting opposite her and felt a bit disrespected and also she has never looked that way at m3 before and i wish she did. I told her this via text a few hours after and she replied " there is good eye candy and you can stare just like there is also good eye candy for you also fred. I do like you a lot:)" Another example my girlfriend had a spare ticket to a tennis event and posted it on facebook who wanted to go with her. People replied on the status. I wrote ' take me ♡". She then messaged me saying she saw i wrote that. She didnt like it or respond to it. She told me that people saw that i wrote it and that she didnt really like it because she never did this kind of lovey dovey stuff with her ex and he never wrote on her wall like that" I felt really hurt. I didnt know what i did wrong. I then ended up deleting her on facebook because i thought wats the point if i cant write or comment on her wall. She then messaged me saying that her friend thought i was childish for deleting her on facebook. Please give me advice opinions on this. Cos i had no idea what to do or feel or react What is needy and desperate about the whole thing is that you stay in a relationship with someone who makes you feel bad / isn't that into you. When someone continually makes you wonder if they really like you, you don't do silly things like delete them off facebook and continue dating them, you delete them from your life. 3 Link to post Share on other sites
d0nnivain Posted October 5, 2017 Share Posted October 5, 2017 Fred123 you need to learn to trust yourself & your feelings. You knew you were being disrespected but you kept trying to convince yourself that because she was sleeping with you that she must like you. In the future don't discuss deep feelings especially hurt feelings via text. When somebody hurts your feelings repeatedly break up with them. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
GemmaUK Posted October 5, 2017 Share Posted October 5, 2017 Fred, you did nothing wrong. NOTHING wrong OK!!?? She was mean, passive aggressive, unkind to you. It's a sign that she wasn't that into you, unfortunately some people walk all over people when they feel that way. You didn't deserve this treatment and it's hurt you quite badly. Give yourself a break, do things you love to get this nasty woman off your mind. Like others have said though, learn to start trusting your instincts and if it feels all off then quit dating that person. Get out of your mind that there should be 'allowed's' and rules to dating though to some extent, you don't want to be needy nor controlling - this comes with confidence and you need your confidence back. Everyone is different - disrespect however is just pure disrespect. You have to get to know someone a little though to find out if they have respect for you - we've all been through it. We all have boundaries, think about what yours are and stick with 'em for the future. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Cookiesandough Posted October 6, 2017 Share Posted October 6, 2017 (edited) With my ex's family, I really didn't want to meet them that much. I was nervous and felt put on the spot. I eventually did and it was fine, but it was all in my head. I also didn't want him to meet my family that much either because I knew my father would hate him he has tattoos all over his body. My dad would have killed him and then disowned me, so even though he was wanting to meet my mom, I never did introduce him to my parents. But I loved him very much and still do. He will be the only man I will ever love that way. I regret sometimes not doing that. My point is, it depends on the circumstances and there are no absolutes Edited October 6, 2017 by Cookiesandough Link to post Share on other sites
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