Author Eternal Sunshine Posted October 5, 2017 Author Share Posted October 5, 2017 Everything you described sounds very luke warm. You don't seem that interested and said you wouldn't mind seeing him again (doesn't sound enthusiastic). I think you expected him to have lower standards due to how you saw him so the question is, why do you care? This nailed it. I was very meh about him - I just wanted to see what people thought about age comments. Link to post Share on other sites
CptInsano Posted October 5, 2017 Share Posted October 5, 2017 This nailed it. I was very meh about him - I just wanted to see what people thought about age comments. I bet it also irked you a little bit that somebody you weren't really into felt the same way in return. But I find that dynamic to be rather common. 2 Link to post Share on other sites
Author Eternal Sunshine Posted October 5, 2017 Author Share Posted October 5, 2017 I bet it also irked you a little bit that somebody you weren't really into felt the same way in return. But I find that dynamic to be rather common. Yup that too. Sort of like "Do I even have a chance with a more appealing guy if a barely tolerable one rejects me?" 2 Link to post Share on other sites
CptInsano Posted October 5, 2017 Share Posted October 5, 2017 Yup that too. Sort of like "Do I even have a chance with a more appealing guy if a barely tolerable one rejects me?" It doesn't work that way, though. I've always had a much better chance with women I found very attractive. Not sure why that is, maybe we just defined attractiveness in a similar way. 2 Link to post Share on other sites
OnlyHonesty Posted October 5, 2017 Share Posted October 5, 2017 Yup that too. Sort of like "Do I even have a chance with a more appealing guy if a barely tolerable one rejects me?" That has no real basis given the possible variables in life. Your ego feels deflated, but who you really are doesn't. However, maybe there is a lesson in there somewhere.... 2 Link to post Share on other sites
Els Posted October 5, 2017 Share Posted October 5, 2017 Dude sounds extremely socially impaired IMO. I mean, who says that kind of thing to a date? 3 Link to post Share on other sites
ChatroomHero Posted October 5, 2017 Share Posted October 5, 2017 It just doesn't make sense that someone would think things through enough to make the age comment as to not lead me on but then to kiss me at the end (in a broad daylight at the train station)... It seems pretty obvious to me actually, he would bang you but wants nothing serious. His comment let you know he is looking to date a younger woman, his kiss let you know he would still have sex with you until he finds said, younger woman. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
bpb2017 Posted October 5, 2017 Share Posted October 5, 2017 If he really liked you then the thought of age wouldn't have entered his mind. I'm 28 and every now and then I meet a charming and beautiful woman in her 30s or early 40s that I like and I just think "I hope I have a woman like this when I'm older" or "if only I was older" but never "she's hot as f but too old". If you like someone, even just a little, you start not caring about the flaws. You should have mentioned that you prefer a man with a full head of hair The only time I bring up age is when I mention that she might be too young for me, that always goes well. 2 Link to post Share on other sites
Cookiesandough Posted October 5, 2017 Share Posted October 5, 2017 . "You're attractive and weren't insufferable so let's kiss." It's a little intimacy that some people want in the moment. Doesn't mean much. It doesn't even mean that he wants sex based on my experience 1 Link to post Share on other sites
TheTraveler Posted October 6, 2017 Share Posted October 6, 2017 So I had a first date with an OLD guy 3 days ago. I was actually happy that it went fairly well (i.e. wasn't terrible) and I wouldn't mind seeing him again. He didn't contact me again despite kissing me at the end of the date and asking me if I would like to go out again (but without setting up any concrete plans). I am not upset about this guy in particular, I am still weirdly happy that there are at least some "datable" guys left. He is in his late 30s (a year older than me), decent job, average to cute looking (a little chubby and starting to bald though so nothing special), never been married and no kids (huge bonus for me, HUGE). I did get a bit of a "party boy" vibe though he said he is looking for a relationship. Not out of my league in any way. Anyway, when I asked him about how long he has been doing OLD <cue to exchange funny OLD stories> he kept focusing on age. Like "all these women over 40 are contacting me", implying that they are too old for him. Then saying "I really think women in their late 20s have their head screwed on right, but not younger than that" (which to me implies that that's his preferable dating market). I guess my question is, if he is really hang up on age, would he even meet someone that's his age? Or maybe he would but only for something casual and since I make it clear I am not into "casual", he doesn't contact me again? Or maybe he would if she turned out to be supermodel attractive but his standards of looks are way higher than for a woman 5-10 years younger? I just don't know if I am being cynical or if this could be true. I don't think real life works like this but OLD is all about no connections and just pure "market value". It sort of feels like for these guys, early 30s is a cut off for anything serious. It's almost like guys in late 20s would have easier time dating me than guys my own age (since guys in their 20s are exposed to 20-something women all the time so they haven't become age-ist yet). If that's the case, I think it's absurd that men wouldn't date someone their age and am not going to buy into it. I can't lower my standards anymore anyway. There are more women in their late 20’s without kids/married than there are women late 30’s. It’s a baggage issue Link to post Share on other sites
Author Eternal Sunshine Posted October 6, 2017 Author Share Posted October 6, 2017 I just backed out of a new "first meet". I googled this new guy and found that he is heavily into clubbing/alcohol scene (at 36) and he has public social media with most quotes being alcohol/hangover related. I just can't take another one of those 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Cookiesandough Posted October 6, 2017 Share Posted October 6, 2017 Another bullet dodged thanks to google. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
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