coolheadal Posted September 26, 2017 Share Posted September 26, 2017 (edited) I'm kinda surprised noone is saying the age gap is too big. Not that I think it is necessarily, I've had a few similar age gaps. For the short or medium term, should be fine (well apart from you not being divorced, but others have covered that) If you are thinking longer term, it depends on what she is looking for. Kids being the big one...and if you have similar goals... Age is pointless once they're 25 and older... Love comes in all forms..When it happens. No one should be the judge if the girl loves the man at any age after 25 years old herself then let it be. But the man should be divorce and not still married or separated (still married) or separated going through a divorce (still married). Most women and men don't get that..No living with wife but your married to her no matter what. Divorce make it final we have laws that say your still until you make is so... Edited September 26, 2017 by coolheadal Link to post Share on other sites
coolheadal Posted September 26, 2017 Share Posted September 26, 2017 (edited) You're probably right. I was in a similar situation as the OP, except I wasn't trying to save up money to afford a lawyer, I was trying protect assets and it took a couple years for me to get it all sorted. We were also amicable but I had to protect myself in case she did lawyer up... Excuses just to get a delay in a divorce and go on with your life, you can then have any women over the age of 25. That's if they want to be with you too. 20 years with the current wife you have you should wait to get over her but it seems you have already. Law states your married we have laws for such things you need to break it off then get the lawyer to have a judge end your marriage say it's finalized. I didn't have to pay for my divorce my ex-wife did. She cheated she cause the pain she pays she did was together for 13 years plus 3 years for the divorce to finalize so that makes it 16 years. I never believe in divorce I wanted things work out it's been 4 years now since the divorce was final. It had taken a couple of years to get divorce slow system. Once I was I was free again. I don't talk to my ex-wife today we have no contact it finally happen.. I told her off so she will never sneak back into my life or show up at my front door. This my house nothing to do with her. I was lucky she didn't want money or anything else. She was never going to get it I would drag in mud for what she did to me. But it never got to the point. So pay for your divorce if you want to be with this 25 year old plus girl or stick it out with the current wife. Can't have two women today.. You got to choose, but choose wisely! Edited September 26, 2017 by coolheadal Link to post Share on other sites
Author dozer4444 Posted September 26, 2017 Author Share Posted September 26, 2017 Well there is no chance in hell me and my wife would ever be back together romantically. If it did not happen living under the same roof for the past 8-10 years (living in the basement), it would never happen. The past couple of weeks of dating this person, and having just simple fun has brought back the old me. I am enjoying the moment and going at this day to day. (with the exception of some text i sent back and forth last night) "lately ive been so happy with you in my life" maybe this type of text should wait.... felt it was a little needy......???????? Link to post Share on other sites
Author dozer4444 Posted September 26, 2017 Author Share Posted September 26, 2017 I have sent some emotional text to her regarding the time we have spent together the past few weeks. Think I will step back the just enjoy the time and have fun. I am starting to overthink the relationship. 2 Link to post Share on other sites
Author dozer4444 Posted September 26, 2017 Author Share Posted September 26, 2017 I have my own apartment , My wife lives in her home (re-financed in her name) with my 2 teenage boys. Link to post Share on other sites
Popsicle Posted September 26, 2017 Share Posted September 26, 2017 I say go for it. Ride it out for as long as you can. Why not? You're probably going to end up with a few more kids during the process though. Link to post Share on other sites
Author dozer4444 Posted September 26, 2017 Author Share Posted September 26, 2017 omg-- thanks for the advice. more kids---not sure- however lets see. Link to post Share on other sites
1966Seahorse Posted September 26, 2017 Share Posted September 26, 2017 yes i would with this woman. I yes I want more. ... but now today (in your most recent post) you aren't sure you want more children??? Link to post Share on other sites
Popsicle Posted September 27, 2017 Share Posted September 27, 2017 omg-- thanks for the advice. more kids---not sure- however lets see. If she wants them, you have to give them to her, if you want to keep her. Link to post Share on other sites
Blanco Posted September 27, 2017 Share Posted September 27, 2017 If she wants kids and you're even leaning toward no more - and at your age, that's understandable - do not proceed. She's not old, but at 30, she doesn't have time to fritter away with a guy who isn't going to give her any children. 2 Link to post Share on other sites
carhill Posted September 27, 2017 Share Posted September 27, 2017 OP, noting your early threads about your separation/breakup, and nothing in between, have you or your estranged spouse dated in the interim? Most people I know do, and long before they're officially and legally divorced. On the age thing, that's individual. If you and the lady fit, you do. If not, not. If she's aware of your situation and perspective on relationships/children, and keeps showing up, cool, do what you want as long as you want. Who knows what tomorrow will bring? Link to post Share on other sites
Author dozer4444 Posted September 27, 2017 Author Share Posted September 27, 2017 yes, and no. through my past post, its obvious going back years i was in turmoil with my marriage. No we never dated anyone (no saying she did without me knowing). I never did , however I did have a brief fling with a co-worker that ended quick with us just (staying close friends platonic ally). this is all new to me, with this new gal. She is amazing in my book. For now we will take things day to day. Im sure if things get "exclusive" with our relationship. I will have to make some decisions on my future and hers. Link to post Share on other sites
coolheadal Posted September 27, 2017 Share Posted September 27, 2017 Well there is no chance in hell me and my wife would ever be back together romantically. If it did not happen living under the same roof for the past 8-10 years (living in the basement), it would never happen. The past couple of weeks of dating this person, and having just simple fun has brought back the old me. I am enjoying the moment and going at this day to day. (with the exception of some text i sent back and forth last night) "lately ive been so happy with you in my life" maybe this type of text should wait.... felt it was a little needy......???????? That's good you likes you and she loves you.. You have something there so now get your divorce so you really can be more happier with this girl.. Link to post Share on other sites
Cookiesandough Posted September 27, 2017 Share Posted September 27, 2017 (edited) Past a certain point, age is insignicant beyond what it means as far as compatiblility. It shouldn't matter at all. However, if i were this woman I'd be concerned the guy having a ML crisis at least that's what it reads like. Edited September 27, 2017 by Cookiesandough 1 Link to post Share on other sites
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