Author Olympia Posted October 15, 2017 Author Posted October 15, 2017 Hey Olympia, I registered to the board after reading your thread. I understand you're a bit hesitant about your situation even though he appears outwardly to be a great guy. And he took care of you on the street. That would've most definitely have turned my head, too. So, I didn't read all the replies, but let me share a bit with you my experience. Thank you for taking the time to do that! It really does mean a lot to me! But it is very difficult. In the past 6 months I've been with him, I have bailed him out financially more times than I can count. I bought him a good car - 5,000$ because he totalled his when he drove drunk and now faces an upcoming DUI (he wasnt hurt). I bought him name brand clothing so he can look good looking for other work, I made him a fancy resume, I bought him a TV, blu ray player, taken him to dinner and filled his tank with gas many times. I've paid his rent and child support and other bills many times. I'm slowly coming to the realisation that he may never have his **** together. I may never be able to lean on him financially the way he can with me. It's a burden and a lot of stress. I do totally get what you're saying, we are obviously in very early stages, but i don't want to go down the route of me 'looking after' him so to speak. But i feel like I am aware of that risk but that its not a reason not to try, ,does that make sense? A big heart, chemistry, attraction, and decent personality isn't always everything when you find you are paying for everything and more worried about his financial situation than he is. Yeah i get that and thats got to be so hard! When you find you are hiding things from your family, it could potentially be a red flag. The thing is, i was only not telling them because i knew this would be their reaction and i genuinely think their reaction is out of all proportion. I kind of embarressed about what he must think of them! Your boyfriend is okay taking hand outs. How many hand outs will he be okay taking from you? I guess the good thing is he will not take money from me, like the i have a huge fight just to let me pay half whenever we go out! The whole reason he is living on the street is that he didnt want the friends he was staying with to feel burdened by him or to have to support him. So it isnt in his nature to be happy taking hand outs! Take my advice. Guard your heart and wallet. Take care of you Thank you
Author Olympia Posted October 15, 2017 Author Posted October 15, 2017 A background check would be necessary because anyone can come up with a story. Of course they can, but anyone can can't they, at some point youve got to put your trust in someone havent you. What else can I do? The military one has me questioning it because I thought since he was injured in the line of duty he would be eligible for compensation or a pension. I believe anyone can search up someone's military records or at least show they served. He got compensation but he definitely is entitled to more than what he got. I think its the gap between the injury he suffered and the consequences that have cause the issue but to my mind surely it wouldn't be hard for him to make a case for more. He's just so, i cant think of the word, like he doesn't think he deserves that, thinks he should be able to sort his life out himself. He definitely doesn't see himself as having a disability, i don't think he likes to think of himself like that, or wants others too and i think in that way he's made things harder for himself. I've seen all his military medals and photos though, for a guy with next to no personal possessions he is so proud of those! With good reason to be fair, he has a Military Cross medal which is for "exemplary gallantry", so I know he served and I know he was doing well in that career. Camping out? He must be freezing his ass off in the winter. Well he hasnt done a real winter outdoors yet, and the temperature hasnt really dropped yet. But yes, i think he'll be cold! :/ He thinks it will be fine! You said he is a hot guy.What does he look like? Can you describe him physically Haha About 6 foot, very dark hair short but messy, neat little stubble beard, killer blue eyes, high cheek bones, tanned. A cute little scarugged handsome. He's one of these people whose smile changes their whole face, a proper cheeky schoolboy grin and he's got a sexy little overbite. Plus he's got quite pronounced veins on his arms and hands which I just think is hot af! ...And he smells good! He says my name a lot as well, that's not a physical thing i know, but i never realised how flirty that is till i met him! He's just hot :lmao: 1
Miss Spider Posted October 15, 2017 Posted October 15, 2017 Haha About 6 foot, very dark hair short but messy, neat little stubble beard, killer blue eyes, high cheek bones, tanned. A cute little scarugged handsome. He's one of these people whose smile changes their whole face, a proper cheeky schoolboy grin and he's got a sexy little overbite. Plus he's got quite pronounced veins on his arms and hands which I just think is hot af! ...And he smells good! He says my name a lot as well, that's not a physical thing i know, but i never realised how flirty that is till i met him! He's just hot :lmao: Very, very nice. Very positive thuoghts. thanks 1
Space Ritual Posted October 15, 2017 Posted October 15, 2017 Knights in Shining Armor can come from the oddest of places. Frankly, I see no problem with it at all. People tend to think that all homeless people are unmotivated bums, when in fact their is a myriad of reasons someone may wind up in that state. Illness, Poor Luck, Work Loss, etc. I myself was homeless at one time. Admittedly it was of my poor choices I ended up that way but when I was, I saw the people at their absolute best and at their worst. You may in turn have done this guy a huge favor and maybe it will be the spark that turns his life around. So while in most cases, I'd say "What the hell are you doing?". In this case I would say you have shown yourself to have a lot of compassion and integrity to take what on the surface would seem as a rather large risk. 2
Author Olympia Posted October 16, 2017 Author Posted October 16, 2017 Very, very nice. Very positive thuoghts. thanks :lmao: Knights in Shining Armor can come from the oddest of places. Yeah absolutely! I mean i would never of seen this happening, it just kind of happened, everything just fell into place the way it did. I must say though, that as much as the tension with my family is getting me down a bit, my relationship with him is going really well. I really like spending time with him, he makes me laugh, a lot, and he's someone i feel like i can really talk to as well. People tend to think that all homeless people are unmotivated bums, when in fact their is a myriad of reasons someone may wind up in that state. Illness, Poor Luck, Work Loss, etc. Totally, and i can hold my hands up and say i was probably guilty of thinking like that in the past. but meeting him changed that for me! I saw the people at their absolute best and at their worst Yeah i can totally imagine! When i bumped into him on the street when he was busking (the first time after that first night) i sat down with him on the street and it just shocked me a little to see how people instantly just look right through you! Like you are not even human! 1
Author Olympia Posted October 22, 2017 Author Posted October 22, 2017 Soooooo... He's got a job!! Not full time, but a 3 month contract singing at a hotel 3 nights a week, which is a job nevertheless and a good place to start, and for me, that's certainly reason enough for us to go celebrate!! 3
Space Ritual Posted October 22, 2017 Posted October 22, 2017 and a singer at that... Hope he doesn't sing and look like Tom Jones...The chicks will throwing their bras at him the second he busts out "What's New Pussycat" in the lounge....lol 1
AltarsofMadness Posted October 22, 2017 Posted October 22, 2017 Everyone seems to be saying to go for it, while I'm thinking, there's something seriously wrong here, and you have no idea what it is because you don't really know him, but something is wrong. He's charming, he's handsome, he's engaging, he rescued you, he's good in bed, but he can't hold down a job, find a job, or function in normal society, and that is a really big issue. ^^^^^ bingo any good looking charming man can make a great income fairly easily working in sales for example. The fact that he's homeless while having so many apparently good traits is a huge problem there's something very wrong with him and the odds that you can have a healthy relationship or that he will ever turn himself into a well adjusted member of society are about the same odds of hitting the lottery
AltarsofMadness Posted October 22, 2017 Posted October 22, 2017 He is normal! What even is normal, he's certainly as normal as anyone else is! I don't confess to being a mental health expert but I do know that a head injury is different to mental health anyway! (And i don't get the whole real estate thing? What real estate training) there is no normal man who is ok being homeless. That's a ridiculous notion OP you're letting your emotions dominate your brain. You can meet a man who is good looking/exciting and is also a well adjusted normally functioning member of society You're setting yourself up for disaster. Keep your eyes wide open and do not get attached too fast. I'm sure there will be many red flags along the way
bluefeather Posted October 23, 2017 Posted October 23, 2017 Soooooo... He's got a job!! Not full time, but a 3 month contract singing at a hotel 3 nights a week, which is a job nevertheless and a good place to start, and for me, that's certainly reason enough for us to go celebrate!! WOW That's amazing! I bet there are a lot of musicians out there who would love to have that spot! 1
Author Olympia Posted October 23, 2017 Author Posted October 23, 2017 and a singer at that... Hope he doesn't sing and look like Tom Jones...The chicks will throwing their bras at him the second he busts out "What's New Pussycat" in the lounge....lol Haha well lets hope not! He starts tomorrow night so i'll defo go along to check out his first performance (and i'll keep an eye out for any bra throwing :lmao:) WOW That's amazing! I bet there are a lot of musicians out there who would love to have that spot! I'm sure! But he absolutely deserves it, he's talented and to get a bit of luck like this could be just what he needs hopefully! 1
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