Have you ever given an ex a second chance?

[preraph]

I worked with one of my bf exes and so I was around him and had a couple of "close encounters," where it was real hard for me to not just give in. He knew how to pull my strings and make me weak. But I knew what questions to ask or what to say to find out if anything had really changed -- and it hadn't. Like one time years after our dating, we talked about it all and even kissed some.

And by then I had been working close with him for some years and felt I knew him pretty well, and I always thought and still want to think that although he'd sleep around on anyone he dated, that once he married, he would be faithful. I just felt that was his ethical boundary. So that night when he was trying to get me to have sex with him, I told him I'd marry him, but I wouldn't date him. And then, it was clear the same issues about him not being willing to commit to that level were very obvious. And at least one of the reasons was a good reason -- I'm not domestic and he badly wanted kids and I didn't. So I don't blame him for that.

 

He told me that night when I asked why he married his crazy second wife (who ended up in jail for fraud) and he said, "She nagged me into it. Heck, I might have married you if you'd nagged me enough, I don't know." Which I thought was funny, actually. I'm not like that. I still think it hurt me more than him that I didn't give in and sleep with him. I still loved him but had so much resentment from the bad situation that broke us up. But we do keep in touch 40 years later, so we meant something authentic to one another.

 

Like I always say, there's plenty of people you can love but not live with for some reason.

[grazyexes]

Okay so this girl who chose her ex over me broke up with him and started texting me again. She wanted to see me but I said im not on the mood right now, maybe some other time. Few hours later she texted me that she needs place to sleep and really wants to see me. I said alright then. We had sex and spend the next day together. We kissed and everything.

Next day she texted me again and we spent the day together. Before she left she said see you tomorrow. I said maybe if I have time.

She have been doing 100% of the texting and I think that is how it should be because she rejected me before.

I don't know if this is going to end good or bad or am I just stupid to even see her, but as long as she texts me first and want to see me, I will. If she doesn't, im not going to do ****.

[d0nnivain]

Oh greyzexes --

 

 

She's still using you. You are old reliable. As soon as the next hot guy comes along she's gonna be gone again.

[InAFog]

I've found it to be total waste of time, as well as precious time you could have used to be healing.

 

Me & my ex broke up at the beginning of the year. We stayed in some contact & got back together after 2.5 months. Made promises that we would really try to work things out & all that hoo-ha. But he never really seemed interested at all. We split again in less than two months. And now I come to find out he had kept the chick he has started seeing on the side the whole time. Now they are happily together, and I am miserable & feeling the fool.

 

I wouldn't recommend.

[GemmaUK]

Take an ex back? No never have.

 

Why did you let her back OP?

She is walking all over you and you are letting it happen.

[stixx]

Have you ever had a situation where your BF/GF left you and after all that he/she came back to you and wanted to date you again. Or it doesn't even have to be BF/GF it can be your date you really liked but rejected you for someone else. How did it go? Did you get back together or was it just waste of time?

I personally have had a couple situations like this. My problem, as a man, is that when they come back after breaking up with you because of someone else, I don't feel like a man anymore. I mean I feel like im not the same man as I used to be when I first met her. I don't feel like im in charge or that im the catch/prize anymore. And thats the feeling you, as a man, should have when dating women. Being chased by them and be the leader. You need to feel your power.

 

I only feel like a pussy who is taking back queen highness and I feel like I have 0 value. I don't trust myself or them that they like me. I feel like im her doormat and she is more valuable than I am.

 

Have you ever turned something like this into a healthy relationship? How have you turned it to feel like a man/female again and feel that you are the prize and have a high value again?

 

No. Never have or ever will, but I can call most of my GFs and chat anytime. I generally do not leave on a bad note with my mate.

 

I am that guy that pulls out the remote from time to time and places it on mute and says "lets talks".

 

Some women for a certain reason cant deal with it. When I lived with 5 guys in college we did it all the time just to let things out and make peace.

 

Women dont seem forgiving on certain issues and talk discomforts many of them(my experience).

 

No idea.

[grazyexes]

Take an ex back? No never have.

 

Why did you let her back OP?

She is walking all over you and you are letting it happen.

 

Well, it is not really my ex. We just dated little bit while she was trying to get back with her ex. Ofcourse I didn't know that back then.

She started texting me so I took that opportunity to have sex with her.

 

Shes texting me first 100% of the time and we are doing things I want to do. How is that walking all over me?

[Been]

Because that will change. And your ok with being option. You think its going your way but whose to say it isn't going like she wants?

[grazyexes]

Because that will change. And your ok with being option. You think its going your way but whose to say it isn't going like she wants?

 

We went on like two dates, before I noticed she still misses her ex. Didn't have sex or anything.

I have to say that she was my rebound girl too before. I broke up with my ex, texted her and I think we did see eachother back then once. I went back with my ex and we broke up. I started texting her again but she was already involved with this other guy.

I started to like her, although she was my rebound.

[MarvelFan1]

This thread really has helped and opened my eyes as to why I shouldn't try to message my ex to try and reconcile, amongst the other factors why I shouldn't either. So many valid points made and lots of people singing from the same hymn sheet.

[Been]

I think for certain situations is OK to give it a second chance- too busy with school,work, or you moved.

But when somebody dumps you to be with someone else that tells me they thought that person was better then you and they were upgrading.

Cheating no second chances. They breached the trust. .

[grazyexes]

I think for certain situations is OK to give it a second chance- too busy with school,work, or you moved.

But when somebody dumps you to be with someone else that tells me they thought that person was better then you and they were upgrading.

Cheating no second chances. They breached the trust. .

 

She already wanted this other guy when she started seeing me. This guy was a player tho so she thought she cant get him. So it was not like she met someone else after me, it was way before.

[Eternal Sunshine]

I have, many times in my life. It went badly 100% of the time. In fact, it was always much worse than the first time around.

[grazyexes]

You all were right. Bull**** was bigger than ever before. She was with me and wanted to see her ''good friend''. We drove there, they talked and after that she gave him a hug and kiss on the cheek. I was like wtf but didn't say anything.

Next day she wanted to see me but didn't give me a kiss anymore, just got a hug from her and she left pretty quickly. I invited to her my place but she told me some bull**** excuses.

Later I heard that she banged that ''good friend'' just two days after we ****ed.

 

So waste of time and I just got hurt again.

 

edit. atleast i got laid

Edited August 20, 2017 by grazyexes