Should I settle as friends for now with ex?

[Blake101]

It's because she literally has not seen me in three months. I just know some spark is going to be there that night. Emotions are dictated by logic.

 

Like I can be friends for one night. I've always said I'll go as friends for that one night. I hope she doesn't believe there in permanence in that statement.

[Cookiesandough]

Oh so it's worse, then. You think you can woo her back into wanting to be with her in one night,when she had over 1/2 a year to come to the conclusion she doesn't. And she told you to not get weird. My advice remains the same and in agreement with the consensus: Find another person to go to the concert with you so it's not awkward and move on

[kendahke]

Consider yourselves broken up

 

Find someone else to go to the event with you.

[Blake101]

I might have to grow some balls and tell her I'm done.

[Blake101]

Update:

 

One of my good friends (who is a girl) said she would love to go with me. We planned it out and everything seemed great. But right before I was going to call it off with my ex, I get a text saying her parents won't allow her to drive the car since it would be a long drive.

 

So I spoke with my ex over the phone. We have another nice conversation. I then ask her whether she is actually seeing someone else. Her response at first was "kind of." I asked her to specify and she said she has been casually seeing someone for the last two weeks.

 

Plot twist

 

She's casually dating a girl.

 

Not sure what to make of this. She's just as surprised as I am. Even though she admitted that it was a temporary summer fling since the girl goes to school very far away the thought of someone else holding and kissing her still kills me.

[Lynnesmith9898]

Don't pay attention to her words, pay attention to her actions. If she loved you, she'd be with you. I've had to learn that the hard way. If you're not interested in friendship, then you should cut it off because if you go along with it when you don't want to, that's communicating to her it's ok.

 

Exactly. I'm living this at the moment. If you have feelings for an ex, you can't be friends. You just gotta cut them out 100% with NC. In my case, he strung me along with another girl. I thought our years and years of being together would make me the one he wanted to be with again. Nope. He chose the new shiny toy instead - HER.

[Blake101]

You all were right, but in the end I won't regret my decision with taking her to the concert.

 

Even though she told me a week earlier that this other girl wasn't going to last, apparently only three days ago they decided they would become an official couple. Within only a mere 3 weeks since she's met her, she has decided to take it seriously with this girl, but when she was with me, it took her almost two and a half months? I feel a bit offended by that. Her reason being is because this other girl is going through a lot & she feels obligated to be there and when she met me she was broken (but I helped her piece her back together).

 

Apparently they already say I love you to each other when it took us almost 4 months to say it. And apparently she's going to try to make it work long distance with her, even though she only lasted 5 days with me. 5 days!

 

I'm appalled, because I know within my heart I would do a lot more for her. **** It, I have done more for her. I gave my all to this person. It just confuses me because she still says she loves me, but how could you say that if you're with someone else?

 

In the end I told her I had to let her go. For my own sake, my own sanity. I can't wait any longer. I can't be friends. I just can't. I kept the door open though by saying, "If you ever want to start again, you know where to find me." But I'm moving on. I deleted all the photos I have from her on my phone. All of our texts. I'm not sure if I'll delete the photos off of Instagram but this is thr end and I'm not looking back. If she truly loves me, she'll be back. But now at this point I need to stop going for what I want, and start going after someone I deserve.

 

I deserve the best goddammit! And you do too.

 

Thank you for all your replies. Honestly thank you.

[Blake101]

My situation is a bit different, but nonetheless an unfortunate one.

 

I dated my ex for half a year. Even though it was short, it was filled with lots of passion. She told me that I'm the reason she believes in love.

 

Anyways, we took a break for the summer. She just couldnt do it but we kept in contact. Spoke once a week over the phone. Everything was fine. But Here's the catch - she thinks we're progressing towards friendship while I'm wanting something more.

 

We planned to go to this event together, and it would have been the first time I would see her in three months. She did mention she was seeing someone, but assured me it was only temporary so I shrugged it off. I promised I'd go as friends for this one day too. She knew I still liked her, we're open about that stuff but I still caved in anyways. But then on the day I see her, we are acting flirty. She lets me hold her hand, caress her head but then out of nowhere she tells me they're now official. What makes it worse is that she is going to attempt long distance with this other person, even though they've only known each other for three weeks. I was crushed.

 

So that day was what I consider the breakup. We spoke about "us" and it was very emotional. I couldn't stop crying. I lost myself. Ironically, she didn't she didn't shed one tear but held my hand the whole time. I felt a bit weak by that.

 

The thought of losing her completely scared me. For a short period of time she was my best friend. Someone i could confide in. But I know myself and when I let go, I let go completely. Which is why I waited for her. I fight till there's no fight left in me. I really didn't want to be like the rest, and give up on her.

 

Because I was in this emotiona state, she said that there's always hope in reconciliation but she has to crush this hope I have because she hates seeing me like "this." Anyways, I said something along the lines of "I love You, I love you dearly but I can't be friends with you. We've gone through so much as lovers to be nothing more but platonic. I have to do this. But always remember, if you ever decide you want to start again, you know where to find me."

 

We said our goodbyes and said I love you to each other one last time. It was the hardest thing I had to do. It's been a week since that day and I've been doing better, but I'd just like to know how long does it take to move on? I've moved on before with other girls, I've dated a lot, but this is different. I say that because I genuinely love this person. So do you ever move on from people you love? I Just hate feeling sad. I want to be myself again. That's all I really want.

[Reddice]

A breakup takes time, but it's different for everybody. I recommend to read the no contact guide on this website and follow the steps mentioned in it.

 

 

Best way to get over an ex is to just go on with your life. That's it... There is no magic formula, no potion you can drink. You just put yourself first place and go on with your life.

 

 

My opinion about your ex, be glad she's out of your life. She has absolutely no respect or love for you, Your story makes that very clear. Focus on the healing process and once you feel better, start dating. You'll get there eventually.

[mortensorchid]

On a break? I swear, I will never understand why it is that people will take things from the entertainment world and think this applies to us. That happened on a TV show called Friends, this is real life, people ...

 

With that being said and reading the other things that have happened, keep in mind first and foremost that this woman now has someone else in the picture. Even if that guy didn't exist she would be making an excuse as to how and why it ain't gonna happen with you. It's time you move on from her.

 

As to how long it can and will take? I have no answer for you in that area. It usually takes about half the time that you were with that person. If you were with them for six months, it will take you about three. Two years, it will take you about a year. And some people rebound and marry the next one that comes along barely a year later who turns out to be the wrong person on so many levels you can't imagine and their lives end up nightmares. It's what it is.