Did you want your [affair partner] to chase you when you broke up?

[preraph]

Not if I broke up with them.

[Redhead14]

From reading some of the posts here it appears that when one AP (usually an OW) breaks up, the MM usually turns up at some point to try and cajole her back into the relationship. Occasionally the MM disappears and moves on.

 

From what i have read here, when the MM comes back most OW seem to lose respect for him for not respecting her new boundaries but when the MM simply accepts and disappears, it seems that the OW is left feeling disappointed at the fact that clearly she did not mean as much to him otherwise he would have come to try and cajole her back... What is the MM to do??

 

Also are there any MM who have just walked away after the OW ended it and how did OW react?

 

Basically, what you're describing is a woman who has been feeling like she's not a priority or not meaning much to a guy anyway and giving him an ultimatum hoping to wake him up. She has the whole "knight in shining armor" pipe dream in her head. Instead, he walks away.

 

My question is how do we know he isn't hoping she will chase him down?

 

And, if he does come on his white horse, all she really has is a guy that still doesn't really care for her on a horse . . . The horse makes it look better.

[GirlofSpain]

No i have no intention of making her jealous:-)

Sometimes i think that if i ever see her with a new partner it would make me insanely jealous

Then i think maybe she would feel the same if she saw me with my wife - except that she sort of 'knows' the wife as the wife was omnipresent during our affair - i dont mean she knows the wife in person but she knew that i had a wife and she knew what she looked like etc...so would she still feel jealous of the same person? As a man i probably wouldnt feel jealous of her spouse but would feel extremely jealous of new partners...

 

I have read many of your posts. What is your deal with all the smiley symbols you give that tend to symbol to what you are professing is not the truth. The MM I was in a relationship actually on this exact day posted pics of his wife and family publicly for the first time on FB in ages. I felt it was a passive-aggressive move or stance. It is also quite a possibility his wife had him do it. It was sudden and at the strangest hour. Jealousy and head games are not healthy for anyone. Do you like your wife? You have never mentioned her once. Look back and read your posts. You admitted you need to be the knight in shining armor and this is what the OW gave you. Your thoughts are delusional when it comes to the reality of what a healthy and fun relationship is. You complained and said you were so happy to not have the demand of 'talking,' or 'texting,' her because she was needy in that regard. Wake up to reality. You have children and a wife at home. You entire day is spent fixated on why this girl is acting one way or the other and if you can bear life in the same work place. Ask your therapist why you cannot get over your own ego that it was not you to break it off and be the one in control.