How do I deal with the fact knowing that I'll never have a girlfriend?

[Imajerk17]

Good grief. There is nothing worse than a guy with so much self-pity and so little gumption. If you really want to imagine yourself a tough situation, think of the people right now living in Mosul or Syria. You meanwhile have internet and you have your basic needs taken care of enough so that you are finding the time and energy to be pondering stuff like your dating life. Makes your problems seem small doesn't it.

 

How do you deal with the fact that you'll never have a girlfriend? We have no idea, we aren't therapists.

 

Meanwhile you know of Mini-Me? If not, google him. He is like literally 2 feet tall. He married a supermodel.

Edited July 25, 2017 by Imajerk17

[whatnot]

I sent you a PM. It's not showing it went through.

 

PM me. It's not stuff I care to share in a public forum.

 

I'm not a guy who tells other grown men what to do or not do with their lives.

 

All I have is my own experience.

 

Be cool...

 

David

[the_lost_1]

Good grief. There is nothing worse than a guy with so much self-pity and so little gumption. If you really want to imagine yourself a tough situation, think of the people right now living in Mosul or Syria. You meanwhile have internet and you have your basic needs taken care of enough so that you are finding the time and energy to be pondering stuff like your dating life. Makes your problems seem small doesn't it.

 

How do you deal with the fact that you'll never have a girlfriend? We have no idea, we aren't therapists.

 

Meanwhile you know of Mini-Me? If not, google him. He is like literally 2 feet tall. He married a supermodel.

 

Yeah well i'm not in mosul or syria and i'm talking about my ****ty life here. Verne Troyer has a better advantage than me, he can communicate clearly with everything and anything and I'm just stuck in a cage regardless of my physical form. I can't communicate with women.

[the_lost_1]

I will give you a different phrase with the same meaning. "Life is 5% of what happens and 95% of how you react to it". Perhaps you can make sense of this?

 

I know people who have been dealt all kinds of rubbish in their lives, but they still live a happy and fulfilling life. And there are others who have had a few things go wrong and fall into a crumbling heap. It's not about what goes wrong, it's about one's attitude to the problem.

 

Yes this kind of makes sense, thank you....well yes I have read a lot about people that have been dealt a bad card but what many people don't realize is how much impact your poor communication has on others. I mean, my accent, speech impediment, and hearing device.

 

It's not enough, it's torture but I have to live with it.

[the_lost_1]

Suicide is never the answer. I think work on raising your spirits first before getting involved with a woman romantically.

 

How do you raise your spirits when you're a broken man?

[the_lost_1]

Of course it makes sense. It doesn't make sense to you, because you want people to excuse your bad attitude and feed into your victim mentality.

 

It's not a new saying, and I feel it's not complicated. It just means that life is what you make of your circumstances.

 

Yes, it'd be great if you could hear perfectly, though I will point out that your belief that it would solve ALL of your problems is unrealistic. Plenty of people hear well and still have trouble with dating and finding love.

 

The reality is, you have a hearing disability. Now, you can continue to feed into your self-pity about how no one in the world has it any harder than you, a mindset that I promise you others around you pick up on and are repelled by. Or you can work to figure out what steps are necessary to change your life based on the hand you've been dealt.

 

You've already said you don't want to date anyone with a hearing impairment, which I think is not only short-sighted, but also hypocritical. You say you won't do counselling because you think doing so would be an admission that you're crazy (it's not). Again, you have options that may lead toward a better quality of life. But you are so determined to wallow in your supposedly horrible life that you resist these options.

 

Okay well I did go see counselling like for past few years while I was still in college. They provided help there, it did kind of help. I did have coffee chat with hearing impaired girl one point but she never sent me a text so I unfriended her from facebook. I'm not wallowing in self pity or sorrow, it's the reality I'm dealing with which i'm tired of.

[the_lost_1]

If it makes you happy i lost 20 lbs

[the_lost_1]

please understand i'm not playing a victim card here because i'm 29, have hearing/speech issues and nothing has in favor for me and i'm tired of it

[the_lost_1]

i have asked "friends" if i need speech therapist and i haven't heard back from them

[Chris2016]

OP, is there a social group, support group, meetup group, student group, facebook group, online group, etc. for hearing/speech people?

 

I think if you can meet people with similar condition, whether online and/or in real life, that'll be good.

 

I have a type of scarring which is disfiguring. Unfortunately there's not a lot of people with this condition so there won't be a local support group for it.

 

The closes is facebook support group. It's nice to know there are others and they instantly know what you're going through.

 

I would like to meet/come across more people in real life with this condition though versus just online.

[Chris2016]

OP, do you know of the TV show Little People Big World?

 

I haven't watched it in several years, since I stopped cable TV service. But the show is still ongoing.

 

It follows a family with dwarfism. The mom and dad is little. They have 4 children, one is little and the others are regular height.

 

Zach Roloff is the child with dwarfism. Growing up, he had numerous surgeries, bullied, etc.

 

If you google zach roloff married you'll see that he is married to a regular height person. They recently had a kid, who has dwarfism.

 

Pretty inspiring.

[gaius]

Good grief. There is nothing worse than a guy with so much self-pity and so little gumption. If you really want to imagine yourself a tough situation, think of the people right now living in Mosul or Syria.

Or one of those "nice guys" who constantly get passed over and dumped for better men. I think I'd rather be in Mosul right now drinking from a puddle than live that existence.

 

At least you have full self-awareness, know your situation and can find other ways to squeeze enjoyment from life OP.

[Imajerk17]

please understand i'm not playing a victim card here because i'm 29, have hearing/speech issues and nothing has in favor for me and i'm tired of it

 

But you ARE playing the victim card OP.

 

1. First you come on here and ask how you deal with the fact "knowing" you'll never have a girlfriend. Besides being overdramatic, how are we supposed to answer that anyway? You want us to write you a list? We aren't therapists you know.

 

2. Then in your opening post you mention suicide. When you wrote that out, HOW did you expect people to react OP?

 

If the above isn't playing the victim card, then I don't know what is.

 

Anyway, if you exhibit this amount of self-pity in your real life (not at all unlikely), it will be hard to get people to like you. Meanwhile, there are people out there who are outright deaf, ect who found relationships.

 

The above isn't meant to be mean. BUT, people here will not coddle you. Sometimes the toughest advice is the best advice.

Edited July 26, 2017 by Imajerk17

[preraph]

Yeah well i'm not in mosul or syria and i'm talking about my ****ty life here. Verne Troyer has a better advantage than me, he can communicate clearly with everything and anything and I'm just stuck in a cage regardless of my physical form. I can't communicate with women.

 

I have to say you don't seem like you're stuck in a cage at all or have a problem with communication. It's WHAT you're communicating that is your problem: self-pity, exaggerating your hearing impairment, talking about suicide every other post. That's enough to scare anyone off.

[Mysterio]

How do you raise your spirits when you're a broken man?

 

You raise your spirits by doing excersize/going for long walks and visulizing your life in a happier vibe. Thats my quick view on how to heal yourself.

 

You could also go to counceling as well.

[the_lost_1]

the girl i met online, she doesn't even want to be in relationship with me. i thought she was interested but nope. i liked talking to her too and she just wants to be 'friends' now we don't talk much

[the_lost_1]

i'm tired of everything i'm tired of living like this

[the_lost_1]

nobody likes me it's obvious it's been clear like that forever

[the_lost_1]

sometimes i cry in sleep every night knowing this

[basil67]

the girl i met online, she doesn't even want to be in relationship with me. i thought she was interested but nope. i liked talking to her too and she just wants to be 'friends' now we don't talk much

 

How many times did the two of you meet face to face before you asked her to be in a relationship with you?

[the_lost_1]

How many times did the two of you meet face to face before you asked her to be in a relationship with you?

 

Once......

[basil67]

Once......

 

And let me guess - this is the same girl who told you that you were too much

[basil67]

I highly recommend you jump on to Amazon and order some books written to help Aspergers guys date.

 

Something like this Decoding Dating: A Guide to the Unwritten Social Rules of Dating for Men with Asperger Syndrome (Autism Spectrum Disorder)

 

or this - What Men with Asperger Syndrome Want to Know About Women, Dating and Relationships

 

Please note that I am not diagnosing you. But your inability to connect with women, poor eye contact, poor social skills and not knowing the unwritten rules of dating are all things which also affect those with Aspergers, making these books a perfect start to help you get on the right track.

[Miss Spider]

Once......

 

Sounds like you want a gf more than you want to be the right girl. Been there and ppl can tell when you care more about having an rship than the actual person. Chill and take it slower

[the_lost_1]

And let me guess - this is the same girl who told you that you were too much

 

Yes, you're right. Same girl. Maybe I was "too much", I was into her because i didn't want to lose spark between us. My fault for moving fast, I guess.