Dis Posted July 16, 2017 Share Posted July 16, 2017 (I actually think being really good-looking could work AGAINST a guy. On the one hand, many women will assume he is a player or is high-maintenance. More average-looking guys don't have these issues. But I digress.) Good point Imajerk! IME, the same is true for really good looking women 1 Link to post Share on other sites
thefooloftheyear Posted July 17, 2017 Share Posted July 17, 2017 I think being really good-looking per se is not a turn off, but caring too much about his looks is. .............. TFY Link to post Share on other sites
JuneL Posted July 17, 2017 Share Posted July 17, 2017 .............. TFY Why is my comment so funny? Link to post Share on other sites
Imajerk17 Posted July 17, 2017 Share Posted July 17, 2017 Good point Imajerk! IME, the same is true for really good looking women Yeah @Dis, I'd say that is true....there is the intimidation factor for many guys unfortunately. There is also a tendency for some guys to take that a step further and play "sour grapes" and assume really good-looking women are bitches, which is often as far from the truth as can be. But yeah OP, getting back to the topic, it's almost 100 percent NOT your looks. I mean, none of us are ever going to be attractive to everyone. But I really don't think you need to be better-looking. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Gold Pile Posted July 17, 2017 Share Posted July 17, 2017 I use my mirror to answer this question. So far I like the answers. 3 Link to post Share on other sites
carhill Posted July 17, 2017 Share Posted July 17, 2017 Thanks all, I feel a bit better about this. I certainly have not gotten a huge amount of people telling me that I am attractive. In my younger days I was certainly shy and more of an individual than anything else and I think people saw that. I do better now, but even where I work there aren't going to be many people that come out and say I am attractive. I'm trying to show confidence a bit more now - it isn't too easy. IMO, there's a difference between 'attractive' and 'good looking'. Attractive is generally regarding the gender of sexual attraction. Good looking can be, and often is, everyone. As example, if you're a good looking man, women and gay men will swoon and even straight men will gravitate towards your power of image. Attraction, OTOH, is more individual. The litmus test IME is wide interaction with people one doesn't otherwise know nor has even had contact with before. The more the better. This kinda became a hobby for me during my travel years wandering around the planet, spending large amounts of times in groups and 'people watching' for lack of a better term. I also, during that time, experimented with different 'images' to see how strangers reacted to myself. Fun stuff. You apparently desired one woman you were interested in to find you attractive and she isn't interested. Yeah, that used to bug me too, and did for many years. However, once I accepted that there were billions of women on the planet and, wow, some did like spending time with me, it got better. There are always more of us. None of us is the be all and end all of living. Link to post Share on other sites
Author charlesmoo Posted July 17, 2017 Author Share Posted July 17, 2017 Thanks all - will keep trying to look more confident. I'm in good shape I think and have always thought I was at least decent looking. I do have fair skin which hurts a bit - trying to make that work. Another issue is that I feel almost embarrassed or getting my self-esteem knocked down again every time I see her. Like this past weekend I did pretty well as I didn't see her, could keep my focus, etc. But then as soon as I see her I feel like I am no good almost. I then want to know if she is seeing anyone which again is terrible and I know would not make me feel any better at all. It's kind of unavoidable not to see her - but am curious if this has happened to others. I feel like this is making me get over it worse. Thanks! Link to post Share on other sites
Nogan Posted July 17, 2017 Share Posted July 17, 2017 Here's a serious and blunt answer to your question. I get attention from a lot of women. I get numbers randomly. People tell me I'm hot. I date similarly attractive women. It's pretty much that simple Link to post Share on other sites
Bastile Posted July 17, 2017 Share Posted July 17, 2017 Thanks all - will keep trying to look more confident. I'm in good shape I think and have always thought I was at least decent looking. I do have fair skin which hurts a bit - trying to make that work. Another issue is that I feel almost embarrassed or getting my self-esteem knocked down again every time I see her. Like this past weekend I did pretty well as I didn't see her, could keep my focus, etc. But then as soon as I see her I feel like I am no good almost. I then want to know if she is seeing anyone which again is terrible and I know would not make me feel any better at all. It's kind of unavoidable not to see her - but am curious if this has happened to others. I feel like this is making me get over it worse. Thanks! Ignore the problem, and hope it goes away. This is your masculine superpower. Link to post Share on other sites
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