Author princessa1062 Posted July 10, 2017 Author Share Posted July 10, 2017 Oh you are so right it felt so irrelevant in the beginning.....he acted like a single guy with the dates and all the fun..he just didn't incorporate his kids...but after the flush....it came on in full force...I felt like an outsider....who was visiting....and I started to resent it not just being him and I. I wish he would have not courted me for a year acting like he had no children...that should of been a red flag...but because I don't have kids I didn't pick up on it...my parents did but of course I didn't listen to them....I should of. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Author princessa1062 Posted July 10, 2017 Author Share Posted July 10, 2017 My fiancee left me....he literally left me...he went on a business trip and never came back. He left his clothes and shoes in the closet...and things on the desk. He called a few weeks later when he was on his way back from Europe and said...I'm not coming back i can't do it anymore. We had been fighting about moving and his kids....but never did I think he would just leave and not come back. It's been 2 months...i've asked him to come home and get his things and say goodbye so I can have closure. He said it would be to hard..he loves me but we won't ever work out so why come back and hurt and cry ....it's going to be goodbye either way. I take responsibility...I had a tough time accepting being a stepmom and second wife...but now 2 months later without him....I look back and wonder why those things were to much for me. It's been 2 months...when will it get better. Link to post Share on other sites
Funny bunny Posted July 10, 2017 Share Posted July 10, 2017 In at 2 months too and I've been feeling worse too. Right now I feel such. Sense of emptiness in my chest but we need to have hope and remember things will get better. Our spouse is out there somewhere. A husband is out there for us and a happy life is possible. Link to post Share on other sites
fieldoflavender Posted July 10, 2017 Share Posted July 10, 2017 My fiancee left me....he literally left me...he went on a business trip and never came back. He left his clothes and shoes in the closet...and things on the desk. He called a few weeks later when he was on his way back from Europe and said...I'm not coming back i can't do it anymore. We had been fighting about moving and his kids....but never did I think he would just leave and not come back. It's been 2 months...i've asked him to come home and get his things and say goodbye so I can have closure. He said it would be to hard..he loves me but we won't ever work out so why come back and hurt and cry ....it's going to be goodbye either way. I take responsibility...I had a tough time accepting being a stepmom and second wife...but now 2 months later without him....I look back and wonder why those things were to much for me. It's been 2 months...when will it get better. Two months is too long to keep his stuff. Make him take his stuff with a specific timeline. He doesn't get to feel it's "hard" and yet ghost you and make you deal with it. Link to post Share on other sites
SevenCity Posted July 10, 2017 Share Posted July 10, 2017 Best to send him his stuff or donate it. He left in a crappy way but he's right about meeting up. It's not going to do anything for you but hurt you more. 2 months is barely the beginning of healing. I'm at 10 months from my last LTR and I still think about her daily. It's gotten better but at 2 months for me it got worse and worse. 3 - 6 was the toughest. What's worse is finding your role in the breakup. But you have to forgive yourself for what you did and learn from it. There is no timetable- it will take as long as it takes. But a good first step is getting any reminders out of your life. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
lonelyplanetmoon Posted July 10, 2017 Share Posted July 10, 2017 Recent BU here going on 5 weeks. My Ex broke up with me and had all of his stuff moved out on the weekend while I cried and cried. The truth is today I actually feel like I am lucky that he is gone. If he could just turn his back on me like that (actually second time first time I begged and begged and he came back... obviously a mistake) THEN HE IS NOT WORTH KEEPING! Hang in there. Time does heal. Focus on what is good in your life and work on getting your self esteem back. I think what made the BU so hard for me is how much self esteem I lost when he left. Just keep reminding yourself that he left due to his issues. It has nothing to do with you. If you had been perfect, chances are he would have found some other reason... Some people are like that. #1 on my list for the next guy to have is Forgiveness. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Funny bunny Posted July 10, 2017 Share Posted July 10, 2017 You aren't alone alone in this. We are here for you! 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Author princessa1062 Posted July 11, 2017 Author Share Posted July 11, 2017 fieldoflavender - Thank you! I think it's insane that he doesn't think he needs to come back and get his ****...he told me to pack it up and put it in storage! I told him to look up ghosting and the affects that it has on people...it gives people abandonment issues! The ghosting has been worse then the break up I think. Link to post Share on other sites
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