I'm having an emotional affair

[hammyy2k]

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for me you look a victim of depression, i always believe one can only clap with two hands not one, you are equally responsible for marriage as your husband, and why i say that is because you had feeling for suicide, this is a very important point because thinking of suicide speaks a lot about your mental illness for which you should have sought medical help in the first place

 

you are the only one guilty for the affair here, your husband as you say isnt a bad man, you should have tried fixing your marriage before looking anywhere else, your husband responded when you threatened to leave, should have been done in the first place

 

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for me if your spouse was abusive, alcoholic or a cheater, only then one can say that he was responsible for you seeking affair, i dont think i would blame otherwise.

 

kissing is very much physical to be to be honest, i dont think that only sex leads to physical affair, you need to come clean to your husband if you want any true reconciliation and being guilty it will be very bad to lay all the responsibility on your husband because if things get better and than if your spouse finds it, truth has a way of finding its way no matter how long it takes

 

i have read many experiences that a betrayed spouse was not completely aware of the cheating of the betrayer and was very angry that he/she bore the entire burden of reconciliation when it was the betrayer who was more guilty.

 

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Edited July 7, 2017 by a LoveShack.org Moderator
Redact trolling insinuation, retain tangentially topical material and moderate member

[Superchicken]

OK, now from a fellow Greek, that knows everything about the Greek lifestyle, and families. I'm a Greek man, and I know exactly what your husband wanted, and looked for in his wife, before, during, and after the marriage.

You being in Greece still, puts you back a few steps in being able to enjoy your life fully, and get to see and have things you want.

I get it, and I seen it with ALL my relo's from the day I could remember.

The Greek culture (In this instance) mainly focuses on the husband being the main point of anything. The wife, is the support when the husband needs, or wants it.

Yes, its wrong, but that's what's been shown to him over the many years of his life.

OK, now, your issue at hand with the EA..

Yes, it was wrong, and yes, it is best that you kill it now.

However, let me tell you, that the sleaze ball malaka (OM), is nothing more that a man after some sex. Either over the phone, and in time, with you.

He would have been planning an event, accidental meeting, whatever, with you..

Then he would have played with your strings, on how your husband should be doing this, and that..

But how he would do this and that, because you deserve it, etc.

Olo SKATA !.

If he's so happily married, why is he also cheating ?.

He's out for himself, and NOT for your ayapi !.

That's all it is.

 

 

Stamata tora. To anaftoso is more important now.

 

 

 

 

Akoo ti soo leo, pa-ne piso me ton andras sou.

 

 

Tell him that some guy has shown interest in you, and at first, you enjoyed the attention, but, that he wanted something more, and that it troubled you.

Tell him, that you had mixed feelings, as your relationship was in the mud, HOWEVER, rather than BETRAY you and the family, YOU told him to never contact YOU again, and that you needed to let him (H) know.

Nothing more..

I hope nothing else happened, but this is all you should say. You need not tell him for how long it really went for. Just say it was the last couple of weeks.

I know this goes against everything I normally say, but the fact that the EA was so short lived, nothing exceptionally explicit was discussed, and the most decisive reason, in my view, was that you said how he (Husband) treated you.

Like I said, I know how he treated you, because I've seen it for many, many crappy years from my relo's, since I was a child.

 

 

Its all crap, yes, but fight back, and TELL him you want changes, and NOW.

We Greek guys, are (After to the Italians, sorry) the most stubborn in Europe. He just needs a kick up the Golo.

 

 

Lastly, se parakalo, afiseton malaka, ke, ola tha ene pali kala.

 

 

Eise mia kookla po thelis ayapi. O andras sou prepi na stoo dosi.

Ke, tha stoo dosi. Perimene ligo, and He'll come around..

 

 

Sorry for those not Greek, just a few things in Greek, to help her out.

 

 

Theodoros (Ted)

[Bufo]

Was your marriage a proxinya? I'm missing any hint that you ever loved your husband.

 

Has he remained faithful to you? Or do you question his history?

 

I see some degree of cultural clash. Do other husbands on your island take part in children's events? Are you isolated due to being a foreigner? Did you husband have a clue before you confronted him that you were horribly unhappy?

 

I raise these questions because I was exposed to immigrant Greek culture for some years through work relations. Divorce just didn't happen in those families.

 

Efaristo for reading this and thinking about what I have said. Tekanes.

 

Please don't translate the name I use to post. I'd hate to have people here learn my true character.

[William]

Noting this content from the thread starter:

 

Last night I contacted my counsellor and made an appointment to see her. Unfortunately the earliest slot is in 10 days so until then things are going to be hard. You've all made me see that I've used him as a lifeline and believed that what we are doing isn't wrong as we are miles apart with a very low chance of ever meeting up again.

 

Whatever his intentions are, my EA has given me hope that maybe, somewhere down the line, I'll find happiness again. I am going to call him later on today and end things. If what we think we have is real, then I'm sure fate will step in and we'll meet up when, and if, both of us are single. But not before then. Am in floods of tears right now, and yes, disgusted with myself for letting things get out of hand and just hope that my family and his wife never find out so are spared any pain.

 

Moderation's directive is to take that content on-board and to move on from further discussion of, or criticism of, or denigration of, past actions. The starter brought their issues here, has taken opinion and advice on-board and taken actions, so lets respect those actions and move on. Thanks!