A Girls Sexual Past...

[Zxcvbnm123]

You're just letting your insecurities get the best of you. Be confident in yourself and your abilities. Unless there is something she did that was really "bad", like cheating, abuse, etc., it shouldn't have any effect on the here and now.

 

 

Can you pinpoint anything exactly that is bothering you about her past? Are you running mental movies about the other men she has slept with? Stop it! We are ALL human and make mistakes. It's learning (or not learning) from those mistakes that makes us who we are now.

 

 

If you continue with letting these insecurities control you, instead of you controlling them, you will ending up blowing up the relationship. Is that what you want?

Nope, nothing she's done specifically bad. Just that fact that there's been a few other guys she once was intimate with and cared about . Which of course is going to happen. Can't expect a virgin lol. And I don't. Like I've said so many times already in this thread, there's never been any other girl ever where this bothered me, for some reason it does with her. And it shouldn't bother me. 18years old and up and everyone will have a past. That's just life. But I can't help it. It just got to me somehow

[Zxcvbnm123]

Also recently it's been bugging me to think maybe I'm not the best in bed she ever has. Although I am very good. I always get told that. I always have her orgasming, huge smile on her face after sex, says she can't feel her legs, feel s weird to walk, etc. says I put her into a sex coma lol. Last night had her shaking on two different occasions during sex and she fell asleep immediately after cause she was exhausted. and when we're done she says "thank you" which had me laughing. After her post sex nap she then made me food and gave me a massage.. And she's hinted at me being the best but I don't think she wants to say it cause she thinks me ego is big (which it kinda is, which is probably part of the reason I care about this stupid stuff) and she doesn't want to make "my head bigger" as she says. B

[Bastile]

Also recently it's been bugging me to think maybe I'm not the best in bed she ever has. Although I am very good. I always get told that. I always have her orgasming, huge smile on her face after sex, says she can't feel her legs, feel s weird to walk, etc. says I put her into a sex coma lol. Last night had her shaking on two different occasions during sex and she fell asleep immediately after cause she was exhausted. and when we're done she says "thank you" which had me laughing. After her post sex nap she then made me food and gave me a massage.. And she's hinted at me being the best but I don't think she wants to say it cause she thinks me ego is big (which it kinda is, which is probably part of the reason I care about this stupid stuff) and she doesn't want to make "my head bigger" as she says. B

 

You are being proper insecure. This post reeks of it.

 

I've had women that I've been completely crap in bed with in love with me

 

You are basically acting like a sexual provider. And it's no wonder that you're so insecure.

 

You've had 35+ women, right? How did that go? Why are you treating this one any different?

 

Problem always is in your head. Literally always.

[Zxcvbnm123]

You are being proper insecure. This post reeks of it.

 

I've had women that I've been completely crap in bed with in love with me

 

You are basically acting like a sexual provider. And it's no wonder that you're so insecure.

 

You've had 35+ women, right? How did that go? Why are you treating this one any different?

 

Problem always is in your head. Literally always.

 

All the others this never crosses my mind. This is only like the 4th girl in my life I've ever actually cared about and had feelings for. All the rest were hook ups/one night stands, FWB/*** buddies, and then like I said a few that got semi serious.

[Bastile]

All the others this never crosses my mind. This is only like the 4th girl in my life I've ever actually cared about and had feelings for. All the rest were hook ups/one night stands, FWB/*** buddies, and then like I said a few that got semi serious.

 

lol exactly.

 

I've been there. And I have a notch count higher than yours.

 

I'm seriously telling you to take her off the pedestal. You are proper trying to validate yourself.

 

Not that it seriously matters, in those terms. But you need to really consider what you are doing and why. Consider it self-improvement.

 

Women really do come and go. This isn't "the one", it's just another one. You need to consider things in terms of yourself, not in terms of trying to fit yourself to be perfect for her.

 

That is leading to tomfoolery.

[Popsicle]

I don't know, I haven't been around and I've felt this before. I think it's a possessiveness.

[knabe]

lol exactly.

 

I've been there. And I have a notch count higher than yours.

 

I'm seriously telling you to take her off the pedestal. You are proper trying to validate yourself.

 

Not that it seriously matters, in those terms. But you need to really consider what you are doing and why. Consider it self-improvement.

 

Women really do come and go. This isn't "the one", it's just another one. You need to consider things in terms of yourself, not in terms of trying to fit yourself to be perfect for her.

 

That is leading to tomfoolery.

 

God, I sure hope you never date MY daughter. This is on point because telling the OP NOT to care about his girl in order to deal with her past is relevant and not healthy. Period.

 

OP, don't worry about being her "best." It's obvious that she is into you and you rock her world. No woman acts like she does if you aren't. Go ahead and feel good about it.

Edited June 22, 2017 by knabe

[Bastile]

God, I sure hope you never date MY daughter.

 

!?

 

I'll have you know that I'm a gentleman!

 

As they say though, don't hate the player... blah blah.

 

I didn't make things how they are. Just go with the flow.

 

Guy has success with dozens of women to start doing the opposite of what brought him that success. Trying to mate guard, validate and qualify himself, getting jealous, etc.

 

Sometimes, If it isn't broke, don't fix it.

[Southern Gent]

Personally, I think the OP is worried more about how he compares to her previous lovers. He wants to think he is the "biggest and best" out of all of them. He feels like he is getting cues from her like she has done this all before, she knows what she is doing, she is almost nymphomatic, etc. These things are bringing out his own insecurities.

 

 

As a man who has also been with a large number of women (not something I'm proud of), it took me several relationships to understand that a person's past sexual encounters had absolutely nothing to do with me. Heck, they could hold my own past against me if that was something to worry about. As long as there are no STDs, no history of cheating on former lovers, no abusive behaviors from the past, and you are compatible, it does NOT matter.

 

 

My advice is to just RELAX! I can promise she isn't even thinking about her past lovers when she's with you if what you are saying is true. They are distant memory for her, and SHOULD be for you.

[Zxcvbnm123]

Personally, I think the OP is worried more about how he compares to her previous lovers. He wants to think he is the "biggest and best" out of all of them. He feels like he is getting cues from her like she has done this all before, she knows what she is doing, she is almost nymphomatic, etc. These things are bringing out his own insecurities.

 

 

As a man who has also been with a large number of women (not something I'm proud of), it took me several relationships to understand that a person's past sexual encounters had absolutely nothing to do with me. Heck, they could hold my own past against me if that was something to worry about. As long as there are no STDs, no history of cheating on former lovers, no abusive behaviors from the past, and you are compatible, it does NOT matter.

 

 

My advice is to just RELAX! I can promise she isn't even thinking about her past lovers when she's with you if what you are saying is true. They are distant memory for her, and SHOULD be for you.

 

Exactly, it's more about how I stack up compared to the others. Which has never been a concern ever and I'm very confident about myself in the bedroom and always get told how good I am. I think I just care much more for her than others. She does know what she's doing. I've had girls that were better tho. But she's 5 years older than me and was in a looongg relationship. But even then, she's still not overly experienced. I've been with girls who were 10 years younger but gave better head. But no she actually didn't seem like she's done this all before. I think she's cooled off now since we've been seeing each other for a while now, but she's get EXTREMELY excited about talking dirty in he beginning, and always said how she just wants to tie me up to her bed so I can't leave, that me going down on her is amazing, she'd send me random texts saying how she wants me in her bed right now. And she'd get very very excited when I told her about the things I'd do to her in bed. Where as slutty girls who have so much experience, that stuff doesn't phase them,they're used to it. But in the end, yes, it's about me having to better than the rest she's been with. Not so much the biggest cause if you don't know how to use it it doesn't matter how big it is. So yeah. I'm slowly getting over it tho. Already an improvement over the last two days. Especially since I realized she's not the best I've had, and I've been with more atttractive looking girls.

[knabe]

So yeah. I'm slowly getting over it tho. Already an improvement over the last two days. Especially since I realized she's not the best I've had, and I've been with more atttractive looking girls.

 

Read that again and tell me whther you think it's healthy:

 

"I feel better about myself now that I have realized she's not as pretty or as good as other women."

 

You made yourself feel better by lessening her.

[Southern Gent]

Exactly, it's more about how I stack up compared to the others. Which has never been a concern ever and I'm very confident about myself in the bedroom and always get told how good I am. I think I just care much more for her than others. She does know what she's doing. I've had girls that were better tho. But she's 5 years older than me and was in a looongg relationship. But even then, she's still not overly experienced. I've been with girls who were 10 years younger but gave better head. But no she actually didn't seem like she's done this all before. I think she's cooled off now since we've been seeing each other for a while now, but she's get EXTREMELY excited about talking dirty in he beginning, and always said how she just wants to tie me up to her bed so I can't leave, that me going down on her is amazing, she'd send me random texts saying how she wants me in her bed right now. And she'd get very very excited when I told her about the things I'd do to her in bed. Where as slutty girls who have so much experience, that stuff doesn't phase them,they're used to it. But in the end, yes, it's about me having to better than the rest she's been with. Not so much the biggest cause if you don't know how to use it it doesn't matter how big it is. So yeah. I'm slowly getting over it tho. Already an improvement over the last two days. Especially since I realized she's not the best I've had, and I've been with more atttractive looking girls.

 

Quit comparing her to previous lovers. You feel guilty and insecure because you are afraid she is doing the same thing with you. Stop it already.

 

 

Sexual compatibility is important, but the rest of what a person brings to the table is just as important and can make or break a relationship.

 

 

If you are looking for a long term relationship, you have to weigh out all compatibility issues, not just the sexual part.