JS84 Posted May 31, 2017 Share Posted May 31, 2017 You really should have had that conversation face to face to gauge her reaction. Serious conversations in a relationship should always be face to face unless distance is an issue. 4 Link to post Share on other sites
BaileyB Posted May 31, 2017 Share Posted May 31, 2017 If you plan to ghost her, that that doesn't make you an "alpha male." It's the cowardly thing to do and it makes you a jerk. If you want to be a good and decent person, send her a text or better yet, tell her in person that you think it's best that you end your relationship. High road, or low road... you decide. 2 Link to post Share on other sites
JuneL Posted May 31, 2017 Share Posted May 31, 2017 If I do wind up staying with here what do I do about the other guy? Say she can't see him? I personally don't think the issue here is about this particular guy, but more about her dropping your hand like a hot potato when seeing someone she knew (and not having the courtesy to introduce you to this person). Link to post Share on other sites
MountainGirl111 Posted May 31, 2017 Share Posted May 31, 2017 Alpha male? Hmmm. Most true alpha males I know don't even know they're alpha males. If I told them they were alpha males they would probably laugh at me and shrug it off. They'd probably say, "What the hell is an alpha male?" Glennypoo: If you need to drop this girl, just do it. We're not here to judge whether or not the whole "hand drop" thing was right or wrong. If it felt wrong to you then for you it's wrong. She may have been insensitive to how it made you feel, but that doesn't change how it made you feel. You felt what you felt and in your own gut. But wanting to have sex with her one last time- then ghost her just to punish her is kind of creepy. 2 Link to post Share on other sites
Author Glennypoo Posted June 1, 2017 Author Share Posted June 1, 2017 Alpha male? Hmmm. Most true alpha males I know don't even know they're alpha males. If I told them they were alpha males they would probably laugh at me and shrug it off. They'd probably say, "What the hell is an alpha male?" Glennypoo: If you need to drop this girl, just do it. We're not here to judge whether or not the whole "hand drop" thing was right or wrong. If it felt wrong to you then for you it's wrong. She may have been insensitive to how it made you feel, but that doesn't change how it made you feel. You felt what you felt and in your own gut. But wanting to have sex with her one last time- then ghost her just to punish her is kind of creepy. I just meant how to handle it properly, please dont get hung up on the alpha term i should of worded another way. As I stated.. Im not going to bang her then dump her. I already know what she did was wrong, I just wanted advice as what to do about it. Link to post Share on other sites
frus69 Posted June 1, 2017 Share Posted June 1, 2017 I just meant how to handle it properly, please dont get hung up on the alpha term i should of worded another way. As I stated.. Im not going to bang her then dump her. I already know what she did was wrong, I just wanted advice as what to do about it. You know, even if she doesn't want to tell everybody you are her BF yet, it's not that big of a deal cuz it's only a month. A year would be a problem, not a month. So i really dont know if it's a sign of infidelity. But you know her better than me. If you are so sure she has problems with being loyal, then you are better off without her. Break up and leave. Cut it clean. Dont hope for her to fight you back. Why do you want to be with a woman who isnt loyal,right? 2 Link to post Share on other sites
Author Glennypoo Posted June 1, 2017 Author Share Posted June 1, 2017 Im going to keep working on the rlationship.. get to know her more and see if she is a worthy campanion. I will then see if she will submit to me as her man and commit 100%. As for the incident.. ill forgive her and make her work a little for ****ing up. If she does anything like that again, just walk away. My idea of an alpha male is a man making the right decisions in his masculinity btw. I have treated her like a queen up to this point but now she will have to work for it for awhile until she proves to me that she cherishes and respects me. The relationship is new but we are like best friends and lovers at the same time thats why i think she is my soul mate. plus she surfs so ****! 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Author Glennypoo Posted June 1, 2017 Author Share Posted June 1, 2017 Is asking for 3 blowjobs when ever I want them a fair request for ****ing up? She hasn't done it yet but she always sticking her tongue out at me and looking at my wiener? Link to post Share on other sites
mightycpa Posted June 1, 2017 Share Posted June 1, 2017 Is asking for 3 blowjobs when ever I want them a fair request for ****ing up? She hasn't done it yet but she always sticking her tongue out at me and looking at my wiener? No, I think that's just a regular old boyfriend privilege. Maybe you should ask for something valuable, like your own get-out-of-jail-free card for when she thinks that you've f*cked up. 2 Link to post Share on other sites
Space Ritual Posted June 1, 2017 Share Posted June 1, 2017 Im going to keep working on the rlationship.. get to know her more and see if she is a worthy campanion. I will then see if she will submit to me as her man and commit 100%. As for the incident.. ill forgive her and make her work a little for ****ing up. If she does anything like that again, just walk away. My idea of an alpha male is a man making the right decisions in his masculinity btw. I have treated her like a queen up to this point but now she will have to work for it for awhile until she proves to me that she cherishes and respects me. The relationship is new but we are like best friends and lovers at the same time thats why i think she is my soul mate. plus she surfs so ****! Best friends and soul mate is all Bullshcnitt. If you just want her around for the sex just admit it. The result is still going to be the same, she is going to frustrate you again and you will consider all of this again in the near future.. I still submit to you that one sexual experience with this chick is not worth all this headspace. She sure as hell does not merit 6 pages worth of it here. No one does. 3 Link to post Share on other sites
MountainGirl111 Posted June 1, 2017 Share Posted June 1, 2017 Is asking for 3 blowjobs when ever I want them a fair request for ****ing up? She hasn't done it yet but she always sticking her tongue out at me and looking at my wiener? Oh for Gawd's sakes, glennypoo, you soooo don't want to dump her yet. You've still got the freakin' hots for her and with a little open honest communication this recent "upset" could just iron itself out and you'll be fine for awhile to enjoy one another. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Bastile Posted June 1, 2017 Share Posted June 1, 2017 (edited) Im going to keep working on the rlationship.. get to know her more and see if she is a worthy campanion. I will then see if she will submit to me as her man and commit 100%. As for the incident.. ill forgive her and make her work a little for ****ing up. If she does anything like that again, just walk away. My idea of an alpha male is a man making the right decisions in his masculinity btw. I have treated her like a queen up to this point but now she will have to work for it for awhile until she proves to me that she cherishes and respects me. The relationship is new but we are like best friends and lovers at the same time thats why i think she is my soul mate. plus she surfs so ****! The real problem here is that you've jumped head-first into a serious relationship with a woman that you don't even know from Adam. Therefore, you are only now getting to know her whilst having commitments and responsibilities to her at the same time. My idea of an alpha male is not someone who gives his relationships away willy-nilly to get sex. In future, have a period of less pressurized dating, where you can actually get to know a woman before deciding on committing to anyone. Be discerning. Just because she has a great arse on a surfboard doesn't mean she's your "soulmate". It means you date her for a bit, and see how it goes. Edited June 1, 2017 by Bastile 4 Link to post Share on other sites
BaileyB Posted June 1, 2017 Share Posted June 1, 2017 (edited) Indeed, you want this girl and despite all your hot air, you are willing to forgive her "transgression" for more sex. If she is smart, she will see your "macho" attitude for what it is, and this relationship won't last very long. "Submit to you as a man"... Edited June 1, 2017 by BaileyB 3 Link to post Share on other sites
JuneL Posted June 1, 2017 Share Posted June 1, 2017 I think I now have a fuller picture after reading more responses by the OP. It seems that your girlfriend has the upper hand in your relationship: you are super sexually attracted to her and you consider her a soulmate already after merely one month of dating. That might be why she's disrespecting you like that... 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Tribble Posted June 1, 2017 Share Posted June 1, 2017 Is asking for 3 blowjobs when ever I want them a fair request for ****ing up? No. This tit for tat nonsense is ridiculous. Whatever her motivations were, no-one knows them for certain apart from her. Either you accept her explanation or not. Relationships are not made out of someone making a mistake and then having it used against them. If you want to stay together, you explain why you were annoyed and discuss it. You then observe if she is more considerate to your feelings in situations going forward. You do not demand sexual favours as payment for doing something you feel is wrong. Otherwise, you break up and have done with it. 3 Link to post Share on other sites
Author Glennypoo Posted June 1, 2017 Author Share Posted June 1, 2017 (edited) Indeed, you want this girl and despite all your hot air, you are willing to forgive her "transgression" for more sex. If she is smart, she will see your "macho" attitude for what it is, and this relationship won't last very long. "Submit to you as a man"... Not just sex but cooking, adventures, building a home, friendship Etc.. To be frank you sound really miserable and a little confused. Guys want to be loved and girls want to feel loved.. it mutual. I love being sexual and it's very important to me in my relationships.. you don't have to choose me but don't bitch about it. I showed her this thread and she just giggled. We've talked it over and came to a resolution. Turned out the guy likes her and she was considering him until I came along. When she seen him suddenly she panicked didn't know what to do. She's very beautiful like a bikini model and has a great personality as well so I'm willing to be a little more forgiving with her. Getting my bjs as well*♂️ Edited June 1, 2017 by Glennypoo Link to post Share on other sites
frus69 Posted June 1, 2017 Share Posted June 1, 2017 Not just sex but cooking, adventures, building a home, friendship Etc.. To be frank you sound really miserable and a little confused. Guys want to be loved and girls want to feel loved.. it mutual. I love being sexual and it's very important to me in my relationships.. you don't have to choose me but don't bitch about it. I showed her this thread and she just giggled. We've talked it over and came to a resolution. Turned out the guy likes her and she was considering him until I came along. When she seen him suddenly she panicked didn't know what to do. She's very beautiful like a bikini model and has a great personality as well so I'm willing to be a little more forgiving with her. Getting my bjs as well��*♂️ You are only dating for a month. Ideally this is the stage where you exclusively date each other and suss each other out, but not an official relationship yet because you dont know each other well enough. Also at this stage it's not a crime if either of you still have someone else lingering in the picture, or either of you dont want to announce the world your new partner yet. In 3 months or so, she should not hide you anymore or panic when she sees her previous pursuer. I think you reacted a bit too much. I also think you are a little too quick to make it a relationship. You definitely need to slow down, observe and value.And don't do this "an eye for an eye" thing... 3 Link to post Share on other sites
BaileyB Posted June 2, 2017 Share Posted June 2, 2017 We've talked it over and came to a resolution. Turned out the guy likes her and she was considering him until I came along. When she seen him suddenly she panicked didn't know what to do. That's really all you needed to do... Talk to the girl. You made a big deal, out of nothing. 2 Link to post Share on other sites
lericenciel Posted June 11, 2017 Share Posted June 11, 2017 Me being Asian and growing up in Eastern cultures, I have seen this kind of behaviour often, with my exes, with my friends towards their boyfriends, and my friend's girlfriends. Asian people care a lot about face and keeping an image. Friendship circles are often quite tight and gossip's a plenty. They care too much about what other people might think. It sucks that she let go of your hand so brazenly and automatically. She probably wasn't even aware that she did it. a) she didn't want to change the way the guy saw her. I.e. for the guy to see her as someone's girlfriend. b) she is inexperienced with this situation. c) she feels shameful. d) she had a history with the guy and didn't want to cause bad blood. I think you should ask her about it, whether she intended to do it, and ask her how she might feel if it was the other way around. Link to post Share on other sites
Rach_and_roll Posted June 11, 2017 Share Posted June 11, 2017 Well, it would seem that she didn't want to be seen holding her hand. But, whether he is nobody, she is dating him, wants to be dating him, or has dated him in the past, etc... is a question only she can answer. Don't assume the worst. Just ask. right on the money Link to post Share on other sites
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