Is there anything I can do to fix this?

[d0nnivain]

Not spending more than 2 days apart in a "relationship" that is only 4 months / 120 days old tells me you got too intense too fast too. That doesn't help build trust.

[smackie9]

4 months and you are investing counseling? Maybe you both just need to seek help separately to get a clearer picture.

[Sam82]

Not spending more than 2 days apart in a "relationship" that is only 4 months / 120 days old tells me you got too intense too fast too. That doesn't help build trust.

 

Yeah, although she has kept paying rent at a place she shares with another girl she was basically moved in with me after the first couple of weeks of the relationship. At the beginning she would be at mine every night then at midnight I would get in a taxi with her and take her home, then we both agreed staying the night would be fine and would save paying the taxi's all the time, then she just moved most of her stuff in and I was fine with it, we were both madly in love. She only went home during the more severe arguments and even they would usually be resolved the same day or the next day. We had already talked about marriage and family etc and we both agreed that as long as everything goes well some time next year would be about the right time. If I got to keep her the way she is when the drama isn't happening I probably would have proposed to her by now because it's just so perfect. The problem is that these 'interruptions' seem to be happening more often as time goes on, not less, and now that I am standing firm things are getting extreme.

[Sam82]

4 months and you are investing counseling? Maybe you both just need to seek help separately to get a clearer picture.

 

Well, it feels a lot more advanced than a four month relationship though. We have spent so much time together, more than most couples would spend in any given year at any stage of a relationship if I was to guess. Basically always together except when at work or during a few fights where she stayed at her own place for a day. I am lucky that this 5 or so days we have spent apart has been at a time when I have been extremely busy with work, so it has helped me to not sit there dwelling on the situation, but it does feel a bit strange getting takeaway for myself rather than having a meal at home and watching DVD's together like what had become our usual routine.

[d0nnivain]

Yeah, although she has kept paying rent at a place she shares with another girl she was basically moved in with me after the first couple of weeks of the relationship. At the beginning she would be at mine every night then at midnight I would get in a taxi with her and take her home, then we both agreed staying the night would be fine and would save paying the taxi's all the time, then she just moved most of her stuff in and I was fine with it, we were both madly in love. She only went home during the more severe arguments and even they would usually be resolved the same day or the next day. We had already talked about marriage and family etc and we both agreed that as long as everything goes well some time next year would be about the right time. If I got to keep her the way she is when the drama isn't happening I probably would have proposed to her by now because it's just so perfect. The problem is that these 'interruptions' seem to be happening more often as time goes on, not less, and now that I am standing firm things are getting extreme.

 

 

OH my heavens. Let me count the red flags. Just bad decision making all the way around. Even forgetting the drama caused by her insecurities, the fact that you think she's perfect, that you are practically living together so fast & thinking about marriage. This has burn out written all over it. Perhaps relationship counseling will enlighten you about all the warning signs you are missing & the mistakes you are making.