A married man is in love with me.

[d0nnivain]

You take the married man's chasing of you as some validation that you are attractive & worth pursuing even if he's the wrong guy, then you block him & never speak to him again. Remove all temptation. Frankly, I wonder if you are strong enough to resist. Reading between the lines I hear you saying that you don't love yourself right now because this other guy the brother of your friend doesn't like you so you think you are unworthy & therefore you are considering the mere crumbs this cheater can offer you. Yuck.

 

At the very least when the guy you like finds out you sunk so low as to be the OW to a cheating married guy with kids, he will lose all respect for you & you will never have a chance with him if you ever did because he will rightly conclude you have no morals.

 

The other guy is probably a lost cause. If you have point blank asked him out & he said no, it's time to ditch him too & move on. You are trapping yourself in this depressing place where you continue to be rejected.

 

Get both of these bad for you guys out of your life & go find a guy who likes you as much as you like him. You will be much happier.

[girlinNYC]

Loneliness is what caused me to fall into the arms of a married man. It was the worst decision without thinking that I ever made. He also pursued me like none other and told me he had never met someone so amazing, etc., which brought me into his little life of lies. They use us as an ego boost and groom us to meet their needs. Find a different outlet for your loneliness. It will save you months, if not years of regret.

 

Absolutely sounds like this married man. "You are so special" "I have never met anyone like you" things along those lines. Definitely an ego trip as they want to feel attractive and that they've 'still got it' to younger girls.

This married man has a teenage son and a daughter in her early 20's, she is only 5 years younger than I.

I am definitely NOT going there, however i do hope the loneliness will hopefully subside on its own in time. Thanks for sharing, I hope you're doing ok.

[aileD]

Why don't you just tell his wife ?

 

That'll teach him a lesson

[girlinNYC]

Hi (((girlinNYC)))

 

Kudos to you for coming here and seeking advice! Well done.

 

I was an MM in an affair once and I never intended to hurt anyone. Months later several lives lay in ruins. Recovery is going well, but what a shame we ever went down that path. The initial spark for my affair was similar to yours - two people who hadn't had much attention lately became intoxicated by feeling desirable to someone else - and once you indulge that a little bit,it quickly becomes an addiction and the addiction quickly becomes all consuming.

 

Please do a 180 on the MM and just keep walking! Please, please, please! Do it for me, do it for us, do it for MMs family, but most of all, do it for you! From your posts I see that you are resisting his advances and are saying the right things. Good for you!

 

I really hope things work out for you with the guy that you love. I haven't read your other posts yet (I intend to) but from the ones on this thread, it seems like the situation is complex and that a realtionship is unlikely?? As you have alluded to, this has made you vulnerable and sad, but don't make things a million times worse by having an A. If it doesn't work out with this guy, the right one will come along - and he won't be wearing a wedding ring.

 

Keep posting! We are here for you.

 

Wow, thank you so much for those lovely words, you have genuinely made my day/week slightly brighter.

Oh I know how dangerous indulging in said loneliness is and it is why I am resisting all of his advances and always will, I just wish this debilitating feeling would go away. I think it's heightened by how everyone I love and care about around me are in prosperous, happy relationships and it's all I want for them, however I wish that was me. I can't help but feel slightly sad lately whenever I'm around my friends and their S.O's. I (pathetically) was out to dinner the other night, the only one without a partner at the table (thinking of the man I truly love), and pretended to go to the ladies room when really I had a little cry in the cubicle. It is what is is. I would rather feel lonely for the rest of my life than feel the regret of an affair, believe me.

 

If you like, I can give you some background on the situation re the guy I'm in love with. It will save you going through post after post.

He and I met through work about 3 months ago, at that point it had been over a year since any contact with a guy so he is the first person I've had an attraction to for a veeeery long time. Although he doesn't work where I do, he works at a nearby store. As a result there has been some constraints re making advances so I understand why things are a little stagnant with us. Upon talking to him, he would call me beautiful, always look at me as I walk by etc so I knew on a basic level at least an attraction is there.

His sister works at a nearby store I regularly shop at, and I hadn't known they were siblings until she told me about a month ago. That naturally gave me hope, however given we get along so effortlessly it also makes it terribly frustrating, as it's almost a glimpse as to how effortless my relationship with him would be. I know what I can offer a guy, specifically him, and my self confidence is surpassingly high, in lieu of how flat I feel about my situation currently.

Thanks for genuinely listening.

[girlinNYC]

Why don't you just tell his wife ?

 

That'll teach him a lesson

 

I have actually considered that. They live in a different state so I am unsure of her specific details. I at the same time don't want to destroy his family, even though the responsibility is on him, nobody gets hurt if I stay quiet. There has been nothing physical.

[girlinNYC]

You take the married man's chasing of you as some validation that you are attractive & worth pursuing even if he's the wrong guy, then you block him & never speak to him again. Remove all temptation. Frankly, I wonder if you are strong enough to resist. Reading between the lines I hear you saying that you don't love yourself right now because this other guy the brother of your friend doesn't like you so you think you are unworthy & therefore you are considering the mere crumbs this cheater can offer you. Yuck.

 

At the very least when the guy you like finds out you sunk so low as to be the OW to a cheating married guy with kids, he will lose all respect for you & you will never have a chance with him if you ever did because he will rightly conclude you have no morals.

 

The other guy is probably a lost cause. If you have point blank asked him out & he said no, it's time to ditch him too & move on. You are trapping yourself in this depressing place where you continue to be rejected.

 

Get both of these bad for you guys out of your life & go find a guy who likes you as much as you like him. You will be much happier.

 

I know what you're saying, but I am strong enough to resist. He has been pursuing me for years and I blow him off each time, i just have to channel this lonely feeling elsewhere. If anything I resent him, given he has a partner who loves him unconditionally with kids, frankly all I've ever wanted and he doesn't evidently appreciate how lucky he is to have the person he loves (or so he said on his wedding day) love him back.

On the guy I love: I haven't told him how I feel, however I'm strongly considering it now because I feel trapped with no other choice. Admittedly I haven't flirted with him, so he's justified in thinking I'm not interested, I'm just shy with him.

[jenkins95]

Wow, thank you so much for those lovely words, you have genuinely made my day/week slightly brighter.

Oh I know how dangerous indulging in said loneliness is and it is why I am resisting all of his advances and always will, I just wish this debilitating feeling would go away. I think it's heightened by how everyone I love and care about around me are in prosperous, happy relationships and it's all I want for them, however I wish that was me. I can't help but feel slightly sad lately whenever I'm around my friends and their S.O's. I (pathetically) was out to dinner the other night, the only one without a partner at the table (thinking of the man I truly love), and pretended to go to the ladies room when really I had a little cry in the cubicle. It is what is is. I would rather feel lonely for the rest of my life than feel the regret of an affair, believe me.

 

If you like, I can give you some background on the situation re the guy I'm in love with. It will save you going through post after post.

He and I met through work about 3 months ago, at that point it had been over a year since any contact with a guy so he is the first person I've had an attraction to for a veeeery long time. Although he doesn't work where I do, he works at a nearby store. As a result there has been some constraints re making advances so I understand why things are a little stagnant with us. Upon talking to him, he would call me beautiful, always look at me as I walk by etc so I knew on a basic level at least an attraction is there.

His sister works at a nearby store I regularly shop at, and I hadn't known they were siblings until she told me about a month ago. That naturally gave me hope, however given we get along so effortlessly it also makes it terribly frustrating, as it's almost a glimpse as to how effortless my relationship with him would be. I know what I can offer a guy, specifically him, and my self confidence is surpassingly high, in lieu of how flat I feel about my situation currently.

Thanks for genuinely listening.

 

Hey again girlinNYC! Thanks so much for your lovely reply and it's so nice to know that my post had a positive effect!

 

Thank you so much for explaining the situation with the guy that you like, and you know, from what you've written here (I appreciate that I don't have the full story), I really don't see anything major to stop you testing the water with him - and he clearly likes you! I'm a guy and I know exactly what ".....call me beautiful, always look at me as I walk by......." feels like!

 

Is his working in a store near to your office really such a big deal? This doesn't seem big enough a problem to keep two people apart if they really have feelings for each other. Why not take a risk, drop by his store and casually ask him if he wants to get a coffee? It doesn't have to be heavy - you could make it sound very casual - like you were just passing type of thing! Sorry if I've misread the situation and it is more complicated than this.

 

Well done for keeping your resolve regarding the MM - proud of you!! This is one of the reasons that you deserve genuine praise for coming here BEFORE anything happened. Many of our members (me included I'm afraid) only got here AFTER it all hit the fan! Great credit to you for coming to seek advice before risking doing something that you may really regret.

 

And yes, we do genuinely listen and care for you. We may not know each other personally, but we are all going through similar, difficult issues and we are all LSers, which creates a special bond. You are one of our gang and we're here for you!

[girlinNYC]

Hey again girlinNYC! Thanks so much for your lovely reply and it's so nice to know that my post had a positive effect!

 

Thank you so much for explaining the situation with the guy that you like, and you know, from what you've written here (I appreciate that I don't have the full story), I really don't see anything major to stop you testing the water with him - and he clearly likes you! I'm a guy and I know exactly what ".....call me beautiful, always look at me as I walk by......." feels like!

 

Is his working in a store near to your office really such a big deal? This doesn't seem big enough a problem to keep two people apart if they really have feelings for each other. Why not take a risk, drop by his store and casually ask him if he wants to get a coffee? It doesn't have to be heavy - you could make it sound very casual - like you were just passing type of thing! Sorry if I've misread the situation and it is more complicated than this.

 

Well done for keeping your resolve regarding the MM - proud of you!! This is one of the reasons that you deserve genuine praise for coming here BEFORE anything happened. Many of our members (me included I'm afraid) only got here AFTER it all hit the fan! Great credit to you for coming to seek advice before risking doing something that you may really regret.

 

And yes, we do genuinely listen and care for you. We may not know each other personally, but we are all going through similar, difficult issues and we are all LSers, which creates a special bond. You are one of our gang and we're here for you!

 

Again, thank you!

 

It started by a colleague noticing how he'd always look at me, I disregarded it as you do but then I began noticing it for myself. For me, if it wasn't love at first sight it's definitely something close. It takes a while for me to open myself up to a guy, but it has been effortless falling for him in light of how lovely he has been. The meeting his sister by chance and developing a bond with her was almost positive reinforcement to keep liking him. He works a literal 10 second walk from where I do, I have dropped by before, we've even bumped into each other and spoken so there isn't any reason to hold back, but I do fear taking charge in that sense. He works in a small store so he can't exactly leave and visit me often as it's mostly a one man show when he works. The situation with him is as straightforward as what I've mentioned so far really, I've tried to include as much detail while simplifying it as much as I can.

 

As for the married man in my situation, I resent him. Mostly because he has what I long for, i.e. a partner who loves him unconditionally (with kids), and he evidently doesn't appreciate having and cherishing something so hard to find.

I don't mean this to sound insensitive to you, this is solely on him.

Your situation (as all) is different and therefore holds no judgement from me. Which leads me into saying I hope you're doing well and it gets easier day by day re the regret.

[anika99]

Do you know the relationship status of the guy you are infatuated with?

 

The reason I ask is that when a single man is attracted to a single woman and that woman is friendly to him, it will naturally progress to him asking the woman for a date or at least make some kind of effort to spend some one on one time with her. The fact that this guy has made no effort besides looking at you and making chit chat makes me think he really isn't interested in you beyond some friendly chit chat and mild flirting, or he's already in a relationship or dating someone.

 

Crushes are fun but then not so fun when the person your crushing on isn't interested. Then it just becomes pining for a fantasy. Why not open yourself up to meeting other men who may want to date you and have a relationship with you? I'm not just making a suggestion, I'm saying you should really dig and ask yourself why you are wasting energy on two unavailable men? One guy who is married and the other one who doesn't seem interested.

 

When I was younger I used to have platonic male friends who I would never think of having a romantic relationship with, although some of them definitely would have liked a romantic relationship with me. Then there were the guys I wanted. They were either crushes who didn't ever make a move, or guys who would date me or have relationships with me but who still kept me at an emotional distance, so I was always in a state of pining or longing for something just out of my reach. Eventually I realized that I was choosing emotionally unavailable men. Then I dug deeper and realized that the reason I was attracted to unavailable men was because I myself was emotionally unavailable. That's why I wasn't attracted to the men who were offering me a real true intimate relationship.

 

I haven read any or your other post so what I have said may not apply to you at all. Just putting it out there as something to consider if you have found yourself always wanting someone beyond your reach.

[jenkins95]

Again, thank you!

 

It started by a colleague noticing how he'd always look at me, I disregarded it as you do but then I began noticing it for myself. For me, if it wasn't love at first sight it's definitely something close. It takes a while for me to open myself up to a guy, but it has been effortless falling for him in light of how lovely he has been. The meeting his sister by chance and developing a bond with her was almost positive reinforcement to keep liking him. He works a literal 10 second walk from where I do, I have dropped by before, we've even bumped into each other and spoken so there isn't any reason to hold back, but I do fear taking charge in that sense. He works in a small store so he can't exactly leave and visit me often as it's mostly a one man show when he works. The situation with him is as straightforward as what I've mentioned so far really, I've tried to include as much detail while simplifying it as much as I can.

 

As for the married man in my situation, I resent him. Mostly because he has what I long for, i.e. a partner who loves him unconditionally (with kids), and he evidently doesn't appreciate having and cherishing something so hard to find.

I don't mean this to sound insensitive to you, this is solely on him.

Your situation (as all) is different and therefore holds no judgement from me. Which leads me into saying I hope you're doing well and it gets easier day by day re the regret.

 

Thank you too girlinNYC.

 

Well, you say he is lovely, and it is clear from your posts that you too are a lovely girl - it seems like a very good match to me! I reckon you could both be holding back a little bit because you are shy, the work situation is awkward and maybe you are both scared of making the first major move......

 

....but I have a feeling that this is not the end of the story

 

I truly hope not!!!!

 

You are quite right about the MM. He has shown major flaws and the fact that he is prepared to cheat and lie and drag an innocent girl like you into a potential bomb-site. Well done for seeing through all this! And thank you for not judging me personally. I also made some of the mistakes he made and I regret it every day. I am a changed man now.

[whichwayisup]

He has children. No, I have no intentions of destroying his family. Ironically he has given me advice about my love interests, and I wouldn't mind keeping a mature relationship going (isn't illegal to be friends with a married person) but he obviously has other plans.

There is people I can date, however only one I'm interested in (not him.)

 

Why would you befriend someone who you clearly know is trying to have an affair with you? It's not flattering and it certainly won't be a healthy platonic or helpful friendship. If anything you'd be using him for an ego boost and then somewhere along the way you'll get emotionally attached and then who knows..

 

Just don't open that door. You don't need a man to give you attention to make you feel less lonely. Get busy doing other things with friends that you know well and trust.

[girlinNYC]

Why would you befriend someone who you clearly know is trying to have an affair with you? It's not flattering and it certainly won't be a healthy platonic or helpful friendship. If anything you'd be using him for an ego boost and then somewhere along the way you'll get emotionally attached and then who knows..

 

Just don't open that door. You don't need a man to give you attention to make you feel less lonely. Get busy doing other things with friends that you know well and trust.

 

I absolutely have no mentions of going there with the married man, I'm just trying to find a way to fill that lonely void.

I work a lot, self confessed workaholic but have a good network of friends. I have everything but a relationship, or romance and I think said 'void' stems from that. I'm a hopeless romantic I think.

[girlinNYC]

Thank you too girlinNYC.

 

Well, you say he is lovely, and it is clear from your posts that you too are a lovely girl - it seems like a very good match to me! I reckon you could both be holding back a little bit because you are shy, the work situation is awkward and maybe you are both scared of making the first major move......

 

....but I have a feeling that this is not the end of the story

 

I truly hope not!!!!

 

You are quite right about the MM. He has shown major flaws and the fact that he is prepared to cheat and lie and drag an innocent girl like you into a potential bomb-site. Well done for seeing through all this! And thank you for not judging me personally. I also made some of the mistakes he made and I regret it every day. I am a changed man now.

 

Definitely a good match, we have much in common and the attraction is there. He would undoubtedly have other options though, and I am weary of that given he is tall and handsome, ha. I would like to hope things are stagnant because of fear on both ends, I would have thought me now knowing his sister has heightened his interest (well, hopefully.) My colleague suggested she go in and tell him how I feel e.g. 'I work with Michelle and I can tell she likes you' or something along those lines we were discussing action plans today because I really can't hold it in anymore, as much as that would take some pressure off me, I don't know if getting my colleague to 'wingman' me is the best idea? I just feel if I go in unexpectedly and tell him how I feel I won't get a true idea of his feelings as I'm catching him off guard - it would be more awkward than anything. I guess if my friend does the wingman thing, he has time to stew on it until I see him.

 

Yes, for sure! MM isn't on my radar, only person who is is this guy. Glad you have learned from your mistakes. Have you managed to patch things up with your original partner? If you don't feel comfortable answering that's okay, I've just told you so much about my situation I'd like to give you the same amount of advice and respect back.

[girlinNYC]

Do you know the relationship status of the guy you are infatuated with?

 

The reason I ask is that when a single man is attracted to a single woman and that woman is friendly to him, it will naturally progress to him asking the woman for a date or at least make some kind of effort to spend some one on one time with her. The fact that this guy has made no effort besides looking at you and making chit chat makes me think he really isn't interested in you beyond some friendly chit chat and mild flirting, or he's already in a relationship or dating someone.

 

Crushes are fun but then not so fun when the person your crushing on isn't interested. Then it just becomes pining for a fantasy. Why not open yourself up to meeting other men who may want to date you and have a relationship with you? I'm not just making a suggestion, I'm saying you should really dig and ask yourself why you are wasting energy on two unavailable men? One guy who is married and the other one who doesn't seem interested.

 

When I was younger I used to have platonic male friends who I would never think of having a romantic relationship with, although some of them definitely would have liked a romantic relationship with me. Then there were the guys I wanted. They were either crushes who didn't ever make a move, or guys who would date me or have relationships with me but who still kept me at an emotional distance, so I was always in a state of pining or longing for something just out of my reach. Eventually I realized that I was choosing emotionally unavailable men. Then I dug deeper and realized that the reason I was attracted to unavailable men was because I myself was emotionally unavailable. That's why I wasn't attracted to the men who were offering me a real true intimate relationship.

 

I haven read any or your other post so what I have said may not apply to you at all. Just putting it out there as something to consider if you have found yourself always wanting someone beyond your reach.

 

As far as I know he is single, I shamelessly did the social media stalk and there is no suggestion of a girlfriend. His profiles are largely public.

In fairness to him we have work constraints, he works nearby however his workplace isn't as big as mine and it's always a one man show when he works so he cant up and leave whenever he feels. My eyes are open though.

No man at the moment is offering me anything, I'm speaking to literally no one. The work guy is the first person I've been attracted too for a long time, and the first who has actually come up in that same amount of time. The married man is null and void, I'm not going there.

I used to be emotionally unavailable, however I have grown and learnt a lot and feel I'm genuinely ready for a relationship. If work guy asked me out I wouldn't keep him at a distance, letting him in is effortless. I just don't see the point in dating others when I like someone else - other people aren't popping up anyway so that isn't exactly an option at the minute.

[jenkins95]

He would undoubtedly have other options though, and I am weary of that given he is tall and handsome, ha.

 

And guess who else has plenty of options? You! You said yourself that he can't help looking at you as you walk past! Any girl who can turn heads like that has plenty of options...and the way you post, it is clear that you are lovely, sensitive and intelligent. I hope he gets his act together soon - you are a GREAT catch!

 

 

I would have thought me now knowing his sister has heightened his interest (well, hopefully.) My colleague suggested she go in and tell him how I feel e.g. 'I work with Michelle and I can tell she likes you' or something along those lines we were discussing action plans today because I really can't hold it in anymore

 

The sister angle is a great positive! - especially as you are clearly good friends. Does she already know that you like him? If so, you can be almost sure that she will mention something to her brother about it, whether you ask her to or not! May be the push that you two need!

 

I'm really excited about this little story. Please do keep us posted. I have the feeling that we are on the verge of something happening. I am crossing my fingers for you!

 

Glad you have learned from your mistakes. Have you managed to patch things up with your original partner? If you don't feel comfortable answering that's okay, I've just told you so much about my situation I'd like to give you the same amount of advice and respect back.

 

Thank you for this! I have been very lucky in that my wife gave me another chance - and I've grabbed it with both hands. We are doing really well. It's been nearly two years since the end of the affair and we still have a long way to go. Lots of my story is here on LS if you are ever interested. Mine is just one of many stories that demonstrates how damaging affairs are and how long they take to recover from. This is why, as soon as I read a post like your original one, I stay STOP, STOP, STOP! The fact that I am still here after nearly two years demonstrates this, although most of my activities here these days are contributing to other people’s threads rather than starting more of my own.

 

As I said previously, huge credit to you for coming here before giving in to curiosity, and please keep us up to date! It makes a nice change to read about a sweet, innocent, uncomplicated potential romance on here rather than the usual horror stories of betrayal and heartbreak.

[Patrice]

And be sure to tell him what you need from the relationship, as you are clearly missing something in that. MM, lie .. period.

[girlinNYC]

And be sure to tell him what you need from the relationship, as you are clearly missing something in that. MM, lie .. period.

 

I am single with no intentions of being with the MM. The one I love is who I want to be with.

[girlinNYC]

And guess who else has plenty of options? You! You said yourself that he can't help looking at you as you walk past! Any girl who can turn heads like that has plenty of options...and the way you post, it is clear that you are lovely, sensitive and intelligent. I hope he gets his act together soon - you are a GREAT catch!

 

Thank you and so I am often told, I finally believe it. I know what I can offer and I guess that's the most frustrating aspect.

 

 

The sister angle is a great positive! - especially as you are clearly good friends. Does she already know that you like him? If so, you can be almost sure that she will mention something to her brother about it, whether you ask her to or not! May be the push that you two need!

 

His sister is moving jobs so I won't see her around as much, however I do intend to keep in contact with her out of genuine friendship irrespective of what happens with her brother. Either way if he or she finds out I like him, the other will know - I understand siblings share these things and they seem close.

 

I'm really excited about this little story. Please do keep us posted. I have the feeling that we are on the verge of something happening. I am crossing my fingers for you!

 

I will keep you posted and I appreciate your well wishes. Question: do you think my colleague going to see him to start wingmanning me is a good idea, providing she makes it obvious to him I'm 'unaware' of their conversation? Like I said, a good aspect of that is that it stews in his mind for a while after.

 

Thank you for this! I have been very lucky in that my wife gave me another chance - and I've grabbed it with both hands. We are doing really well. It's been nearly two years since the end of the affair and we still have a long way to go. Lots of my story is here on LS if you are ever interested. Mine is just one of many stories that demonstrates how damaging affairs are and how long they take to recover from. This is why, as soon as I read a post like your original one, I stay STOP, STOP, STOP! The fact that I am still here after nearly two years demonstrates this, although most of my activities here these days are contributing to other people’s threads rather than starting more of my own.

 

As I said previously, huge credit to you for coming here before giving in to curiosity, and please keep us up to date! It makes a nice change to read about a sweet, innocent, uncomplicated potential romance on here rather than the usual horror stories of betrayal and heartbreak.

 

Obviously trust doesn't rebuild itself overnight however the main (and hardest) part you accomplished is that she took you back, most couples in your predicament don't get that luxury so that is a blessing in itself.

I will get around to reading your stories, you seem very insightful and wise in light of what you have experienced. Experience is the best teacher as they say.

[girlinNYC]

And guess who else has plenty of options? You! You said yourself that he can't help looking at you as you walk past! Any girl who can turn heads like that has plenty of options...and the way you post, it is clear that you are lovely, sensitive and intelligent. I hope he gets his act together soon - you are a GREAT catch!

 

 

 

 

The sister angle is a great positive! - especially as you are clearly good friends. Does she already know that you like him? If so, you can be almost sure that she will mention something to her brother about it, whether you ask her to or not! May be the push that you two need!

 

I'm really excited about this little story. Please do keep us posted. I have the feeling that we are on the verge of something happening. I am crossing my fingers for you!

 

 

 

Thank you for this! I have been very lucky in that my wife gave me another chance - and I've grabbed it with both hands. We are doing really well. It's been nearly two years since the end of the affair and we still have a long way to go. Lots of my story is here on LS if you are ever interested. Mine is just one of many stories that demonstrates how damaging affairs are and how long they take to recover from. This is why, as soon as I read a post like your original one, I stay STOP, STOP, STOP! The fact that I am still here after nearly two years demonstrates this, although most of my activities here these days are contributing to other people’s threads rather than starting more of my own.

 

As I said previously, huge credit to you for coming here before giving in to curiosity, and please keep us up to date! It makes a nice change to read about a sweet, innocent, uncomplicated potential romance on here rather than the usual horror stories of betrayal and heartbreak.

 

Thank you and so I am often told, I finally believe it. I know what I can offer and I guess that's the most frustrating aspect.

His sister is moving jobs so I won't see her around as much, however I do intend to keep in contact with her out of genuine friendship irrespective of what happens with her brother. Either way if he or she finds out I like him, the other will know - I understand siblings share these things and they seem close.

I will keep you posted and I appreciate your well wishes. Question: do you think my colleague going to see him to start wingmanning me is a good idea, providing she makes it obvious to him I'm 'unaware' of their conversation? Like I said, a good aspect of that is that it stews in his mind for a while after.

Obviously trust doesn't rebuild itself overnight however the main (and hardest) part you accomplished is that she took you back, most couples in your predicament don't get that luxury so that is a blessing in itself.

I will get around to reading your stories, you seem very insightful and wise in light of what you have experienced. Experience is the best teacher as they say.

[Superchicken]

girlinNYC, do you not read any other peoples threads here in this section ?.

Read how much misery they are all going through. How many wished they didn't do what they did.

You have the chance to prevent this, yet here we are discussing you thoughts on it.

 

 

Look yourself in the bathroom mirror, and what do you see ?.

A person spending the next month, year, or whatever, sneaking a few moments with a MM, or a person, that needs a brisk, slap to herself in the face, and say WTF.

 

 

Your not involved yet, and so have no emotional moods.

Have a great time with single people, as you wont with MM.

We are the biggest spinners of "Stories" about our marital status.

How we don't get affection, or attention, etc.

In Greek, we call it Kaka !!.

 

 

Don't get fooled by this.

 

 

Ted.

[elaine567]

Is your potential "wingman" colleague also single?

[Bearded]

Hi all,

 

For a while now an older married man who lives interstate has been chasing me. We have never done anything, however he is adamant we have a connection and that I will admit it to myself one day, ugh.

 

I am lacking in the love department lately, and it naturally as a result feels nice/flattering to have someone at least seem interested. I understand though that a married man is not the right kind of interest, and I don't find myself with any feelings.

 

He claims his sex life is stagnant but at the same time says our connection goes beyond sex, yet the original reason he started chatting with me is out of sexual desire? A little transparent if you ask me..

In any conversation we have had I have tried to speak about general topics (life, work, family etc) but he tends to draw things back to sex.

 

Admittedly I have been tempted to message him lately (lack of romance in life) but I haven't as I know it's wrong. Given I'm in love with someone else I don't need the bad karma, ha.

 

Any tips? My mind is all over the place at the moment.

 

Girl, are you kidding me?! Did you say interstate??!!! Can you say 'cya-Chingballs'!!!! Yeahhhhhh!

 

I suggest that you get with him ASAP! Opportunities like this don't come often, and you need to act fast. Set a date, a nice local hotel bar... make sure you tell him to book accommodations there. Shoot for a 4*, if he can afford, or a plush 3* if you want to go easy on him, ha ha ha! [winky wink wink]

 

Your in college right? I mean doll, this could be books, clothes, bags--- if you play it right and can dance swing, you could get a bigger apartment in the fall!

 

I mean, I wouldn't let time waste. You never know what these dummies are thinking. So... go all in. Hopefully after shopping, but I'd stay the night with him... and try to angle for a decent perdium. Gosh; I wish I were you hon!!! Get him!!

[misspalmy]

all i can say is run, he will break your heart.