reboot Posted May 23, 2017 Share Posted May 23, 2017 So he still has some lingering feelings for someone he once cared about. Wow, what a creep. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Author Maliel Posted May 23, 2017 Author Share Posted May 23, 2017 So he still has some lingering feelings for someone he once cared about. Wow, what a creep. If this isn't sarcasm then I would be more inclined to agree. Having anything lingering with anyone else other than your partner is nothing short of messy and unfair. Link to post Share on other sites
somanymistakes Posted May 23, 2017 Share Posted May 23, 2017 If this isn't sarcasm then I would be more inclined to agree. Having anything lingering with anyone else other than your partner is nothing short of messy and unfair. Guess you'll have to build a robot designed to love you and only you, then. Because otherwise, unless you manage to marry your childhood sweetheart AND keep him locked in a box all his life, you will have to deal with your partner having some degree of attraction to someone else. Yes, there are boundaries that people can draw on what is and isn't reasonable behavior. If your partner were going out for regular dinner dates with an old girlfriend and then wanking over her pictures, everyone would probably be on your side. And we're not there - maybe he really is too hung up on this girl, maybe it's distracting him on a day to day basis and he's ignoring you and we just can't see it. It's possible he's behaving badly. But if you order people to have no feelings about other people... how are they supposed to do that, exactly? Feelings don't just disappear when you decide you don't want them anymore. If you demand that your partner have no feelings, the only way your partner can live up to that is by lying to you. 2 Link to post Share on other sites
Author Maliel Posted May 23, 2017 Author Share Posted May 23, 2017 If you demand that your partner have no feelings, the only way your partner can live up to that is by lying to you. I never demanded he have no feelings. I did however demand he be honest with me and not lie for years by saying he was only interested in her as a friend. To me it felt like he was trying to hold onto both by investing time with me but still trying to keep her happy on the off-chance that there was still hope the two of them would work out in the future. If she was someone he still felt very strongly for, I expected him to reconcile those emotions with that relationship before investing time into another relationship, if anything for the sake of fairness for everyone involved. Link to post Share on other sites
Just a Guy Posted May 23, 2017 Share Posted May 23, 2017 Hi Maliel, why are you even with this guy? From all that you have revealed in your posts it seems you are about to commit emotional harakiri if you were to move in with him. Find someone with no baggage at least of the kind your BF is carrying. Find a guy who is done and over with any previous girlfriends he may have had and whose attention is only directed towards you. I think you are trying to navigate your way through an emotional minefield and at any moment you could step on a mine and have it blow up in your face. Be careful. Warm wishes. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
mightycpa Posted May 23, 2017 Share Posted May 23, 2017 I gotta say, if my girl were rubbing the shine off of it while looking at a picture of some guy she knows, or an ex, I wouldn't feel good about it. If she was doing this with both pictures at the same time, like it was group sex or something, I'd be a little weirded out. If it was a regular thing, I'd let her go to pursue her other interests. I am curious to know how you have evidence he was actually masturbating to these pictures.... that seems a little unlikely. Link to post Share on other sites
DreamLost Posted May 24, 2017 Share Posted May 24, 2017 You shouldn't be doing this. Guys think of all sorts of people when they masturbate and as long as they keep themselves in check there is nothing wrong about it. Don't let this bug you. Link to post Share on other sites
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