mightycpa Posted May 15, 2017 Share Posted May 15, 2017 Honestly, it's not just about the approaching. I initiated and ended up with a shy boyfriend once and the bigger problem wasn't he'd never have dreamt of approaching. The biggest problem is he wasn't assertive enough to deal with everyday problems and wussed out all the time. Jeez, if we'd shared bills or something, he'd never have been the one to call and blow up at AT&T. He'd let his jealous female boss schedule him at the last minute to keep him from going out with me. (They were friends and she wasn't even straight but he'd been her puppy before he met me). It got real old. This is what will hold you back. You have to learn to man up and take care of business and get out of your comfort zone. Initiating contact is the least of it.That was me so long ago! I got some similar feedback when I got dumped, and I took that feedback seriously. It wasn't an overnight change, but eventually, I became the guy who my wife now says she can count on to feed the family in a holocaust! Talk about doing the 180! Listen up, shy guys... this one speaks the truth. The bonus is that the quality of women you can get when you drop that nonsense skyrockets. Link to post Share on other sites
Bastile Posted May 15, 2017 Share Posted May 15, 2017 I was quite shy in many senses growing up. But, I had good looks and was part of a very popular social circle. Therefore, I had girls making it quite clear that they wanted to go out with me. No need to push my comfort zone, and no need to ever really try and be a more sociable person. But I grew out of my social circle (no more partying), and I moved on from all that. I'm worse looking than when I was 18 (aren't we all? ). I get far more women now than I ever have at any time in my life. And this is simply due to pushing myself to be sociable, really. It's that simple. Wasn't "natural" at first. But now, everytime I leave the house I get into at least one conversation with a complete stranger. It just happens naturally. Good energy is the most important thing a man can have. More important than looks, money, social circle, or whatever. When you go out with that great attitude, anything can happen. Just a few weeks back, I was chatting to a woman who invited me into her group to go and see a movie that day. I was only out to do some shopping Eventually you realize that a lot about life is what you project, and it's about dealing with your own insecurities. Most of our problems are just in our heads. Just learn to have strong boundaries (not a push-over), and push yourself to be more sociable. The world will be yours. Link to post Share on other sites
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