Gemma1 Posted May 3, 2017 Share Posted May 3, 2017 How old are you guys now? And what part of the country are you in (or what country?) Link to post Share on other sites
aileD Posted May 3, 2017 Share Posted May 3, 2017 I wouldn't have children until you have your OWN place to raise them in. 2 Link to post Share on other sites
BlackCherry Posted May 6, 2017 Share Posted May 6, 2017 I'm not sure why everyone answered this as if it's your wife stalling kids, it was crystal clear from your first post that your wife wants them NOW and you want to wait another few years! If she's this broody already it'll be tough for your relationship to last and remain healthy by the time you're planning for kids, when she's so ready right now. Was fall '19 a compromise or your unequivocal decision? My ex and I split cos he wanted to delay babies and I simply couldn't any longer without deep resentment and misery. We broke up and are far happier pursuing our goals with new partners who are on the same page. Link to post Share on other sites
dichotomy Posted May 7, 2017 Share Posted May 7, 2017 (edited) Edited/deleted after reading above poster. I miss understood the situation. This is about timing. All I can say is when one partner really wants kids - you should find a way. Its the one great thing my wife has done for me. Edited May 7, 2017 by dichotomy Link to post Share on other sites
NTV Posted May 7, 2017 Share Posted May 7, 2017 Yeah I misunderstood your original post too. Nursing is a tough job, total respect for be of you for that. It sounds like she's gonna get what she wants by hook or by crook. You agreement doesn't seem necessary., just an optional thing she'd like to have. If I were you I'd sell her a bill about compromise for one year, and when she doesn't buy it at least enjoy the practice. Seriously what's your plan to stop her from getting pregnant? Vasectomy? Link to post Share on other sites
Author WCSU1987 Posted May 8, 2017 Author Share Posted May 8, 2017 Contraceptives. If it happens unplanned it happens. For the most part like to do as much as I can to work towards not having children with my wife till one of finishes RN school Link to post Share on other sites
Ronni_W Posted May 8, 2017 Share Posted May 8, 2017 , but I am not brining a child into this world till we can afford a child. WCSU1987, If that is the case, then you will not ever become parents. Expenses have a way of increasing to meet incomes. You'll need a new car, you'll want to pay off the mortgage faster, you'll want a bigger balance in your 'emergencies' savings account...there will always be something to help you feel that you cannot 'afford a child'. While being able to meet financial obligations is of course important, the idea that 'bringing a child into this world' is somehow of lesser importance is not taking all things into proper account. Perhaps your wife's fear comes about because you seem to have taken such a very hard line without there being very much room for rethinking and making adjustments? Perhaps she will feel more comfortable now if you let her know that she does have equal say? Wishing you both the best in school...and in life. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Author WCSU1987 Posted May 9, 2017 Author Share Posted May 9, 2017 WCSU1987, If that is the case, then you will not ever become parents. Expenses have a way of increasing to meet incomes. You'll need a new car, you'll want to pay off the mortgage faster, you'll want a bigger balance in your 'emergencies' savings account...there will always be something to help you feel that you cannot 'afford a child'. While being able to meet financial obligations is of course important, the idea that 'bringing a child into this world' is somehow of lesser importance is not taking all things into proper account. Perhaps your wife's fear comes about because you seem to have taken such a very hard line without there being very much room for rethinking and making adjustments? Perhaps she will feel more comfortable now if you let her know that she does have equal say? Wishing you both the best in school...and in life. True still until wife and I are both able to rent/buy our own place, not stress over how to pay for school, and work towards living less pay check to pay check can't afford having children. One of us has to have a stable job with a decent liveable income before even can think of children. Link to post Share on other sites
GunslingerRoland Posted May 9, 2017 Share Posted May 9, 2017 You guys have already both made prioity choices about your lifestyle though. You are supposedly in bad shape financially yet you both own cars that have car payments on them? With what you guys make, you should be easily able to afford a good life for a family. Did I see you say that you are 24 though? That is quite young, so I can see why you don't need to be in a huge rush. Trust me if you have kids now, you'll probably be the youngest people dropping off your kids at school in a couple of years. Link to post Share on other sites
VeveCakes Posted May 9, 2017 Share Posted May 9, 2017 I wouldn't have children until you have your OWN place to raise them in. This x 1000000. You can't afford kids either. Better start using protection if you aren't already. Link to post Share on other sites
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