whatwhit Posted April 11, 2017 Share Posted April 11, 2017 I recently just got out of a relationship where I was cheated on back in November, and have been tip toeing back into OLD. I'm finding lately guys who are using dating apps and are either married or dating. I'm really good at finding them on Facebook so this is how I find out this information. I just don't get it. I understand if I find one but I've come across 3 guys. It just makes me sad and feeling a little hopeless. Where's the loyalty? Is it even there anymore within society or has social media screwed everything up so bad with giving us so many option that it's no longer reversible? I think I may be overly sensitive due to the fact that I was cheated on. What are some other ways to meet nice guys? Sigh. Link to post Share on other sites
CptInsano Posted April 11, 2017 Share Posted April 11, 2017 I would think of OLD as a hotel bar on a weekday during a convention. Yes, there are nice guys there, but also plenty of people looking for some form of opportunity. Nice guys usually have friends, meaning I'd look for them at social events, parties, sports and such. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Lilyana76 Posted April 11, 2017 Share Posted April 11, 2017 This is why OLD was not for me. I ran into many men who were in relationships or married looking for a FWB. Or, they didn't want a relationship. I no longer participate in OLD. I go out, participate in local events, host a class for people learning to cook, volunteer at shelters and the banquet (its a place that serves poor or homeless a hot meal every day). Get yourself out there in other ways.. OLD is just another way to go about it, but it can become very tedious. 5 Link to post Share on other sites
Gaeta Posted April 11, 2017 Share Posted April 11, 2017 Forget Tinder and similar app. Get yourself on a real paying dating site and just apply common sense. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
kendahke Posted April 11, 2017 Share Posted April 11, 2017 I recently just got out of a relationship where I was cheated on back in November, and have been tip toeing back into OLD. I'm finding lately guys who are using dating apps and are either married or dating. I'm really good at finding them on Facebook so this is how I find out this information. I just don't get it. I understand if I find one but I've come across 3 guys. It just makes me sad and feeling a little hopeless. Where's the loyalty? Is it even there anymore within society or has social media screwed everything up so bad with giving us so many option that it's no longer reversible? I think I may be overly sensitive due to the fact that I was cheated on. What are some other ways to meet nice guys? Sigh. Two things: 1. You might not be emotionally ready to get back into dating. A lot of times the vibes we put out when we haven't completely cleared out our emotional mess attracts messy people to us. You have to be clear on why you're on OLD---is it to find someone to help you get over your ex or is it because you've spent time clearing the emotional rubbish and want to/are ready for taking on the rigors of relationship with someone new? 2. Whether they are married/involved or scammers, you have to do your due diligence to protect yourself and sometimes that results in you finding out the truth about who they are. So yeah, there are plenty of men in OLD who are not who they say they are. There are also plenty of men in OLD who are who they say they are. They aren't going to magically land in your lap and they might not come wrapped in the packaging you've convinced yourself is your requirement. Like I said, you're going to have to do your due diligence. Link to post Share on other sites
kendahke Posted April 11, 2017 Share Posted April 11, 2017 Forget Tinder and similar app. Get yourself on a real paying dating site and just apply common sense. ^^^^This. Free sites can be cesspools. You get what you pay (or don't pay) for. Link to post Share on other sites
Patrice Posted April 11, 2017 Share Posted April 11, 2017 image search. Had one - who says he is in a relationship on Facebook, uhh no, not answering. I have tried it, don't like it either. The men are either looking for a hookup, or want to lock you down way too fast. I don't know if I am unusual or what - I'd like to have fun and get to know a person first - before I sleep with them or get married in two weeks. Facebook has gotten just as bad, messages from people you don't know - one last week, sending penis pictures and sure enough - is in a relationship. UGH. I agree, better to get out and do other things. Link to post Share on other sites
Spring23 Posted April 11, 2017 Share Posted April 11, 2017 image search. Had one - who says he is in a relationship on Facebook, uhh no, not answering. I have tried it, don't like it either. The men are either looking for a hookup, or want to lock you down way too fast. I don't know if I am unusual or what - I'd like to have fun and get to know a person first - before I sleep with them or get married in two weeks. Facebook has gotten just as bad, messages from people you don't know - one last week, sending penis pictures and sure enough - is in a relationship. UGH. I agree, better to get out and do other things. What is up with this whole penis picture thing? I swear this world has gone insane. I understand the appeal of shirtless pictures of guys but this other thing is weird. 3 Link to post Share on other sites
CptInsano Posted April 11, 2017 Share Posted April 11, 2017 What is up with this whole penis picture thing? I swear this world has gone insane. I understand the appeal of shirtless pictures of guys but this other thing is weird. And I was wondering about the target audience of the shirtless pics. Now I know. Link to post Share on other sites
SwordofFlame Posted April 11, 2017 Share Posted April 11, 2017 ^^^^This. Free sites can be cesspools. You get what you pay (or don't pay) for. I don't know what age range the OP is looking in, but if it's 20s and maybe even early 30s, the free apps are where most people are these days. Link to post Share on other sites
Patrice Posted April 11, 2017 Share Posted April 11, 2017 Not sure if the target is women looking for a hookup, or what. Link to post Share on other sites
Lilyana76 Posted April 11, 2017 Share Posted April 11, 2017 Shirtless pics, pics of them laying in beds shirtless, and once they message you, you get a penis in the eye... it seems to be "the thing" now. Has anyone ever sent a picture of their penis and a lady was all a flutter and wanted you more than anything? no? Didn't think so.... 5 Link to post Share on other sites
Gaeta Posted April 11, 2017 Share Posted April 11, 2017 I don't know what age range the OP is looking in, but if it's 20s and maybe even early 30s, the free apps are where most people are these days. And they're all on Tinder doing what? Yep they're in there to have fun, hook up, keep scores, and what ever. There may be less people on paying sites in her age range but I bet they are more serious about dating. It's not the quantity of men that matters but the quality. 2 Link to post Share on other sites
Titanll Posted April 11, 2017 Share Posted April 11, 2017 Shirtless pics, pics of them laying in beds shirtless, and once they message you, you get a penis in the eye... it seems to be "the thing" now. Has anyone ever sent a picture of their penis and a lady was all a flutter and wanted you more than anything? no? Didn't think so.... Ummm, well...yes. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
SevenCity Posted April 11, 2017 Share Posted April 11, 2017 I believe this is a product of society. People feel they have to get married and start a family so they often get into a RL with the wrong people. If you wait for one that is a really good match, there is usually no desire to cheat (some people can't help themselves). Not everyone on OLD is bad but the percentages of good ones are low. Not only the men, but the women as well. To increase your chances, try doing something you like doing in a social group to find like minded people. 4 Link to post Share on other sites
Lilyana76 Posted April 11, 2017 Share Posted April 11, 2017 I think perhaps she was feeding your ego... or you have the most photogenic penis in history. Men send me a picture of their penis's (peni?) And I want to run screaming in the opposite direction.. its too forward, and in all honesty, they aren't pretty or even cute. And I happen to like penis.. just not being sent pictures of them. 3 Link to post Share on other sites
Titanll Posted April 11, 2017 Share Posted April 11, 2017 I think perhaps she was feeding your ego... or you have the most photogenic penis in history. Men send me a picture of their penis's (peni?) And I want to run screaming in the opposite direction.. its too forward, and in all honesty, they aren't pretty or even cute. And I happen to like penis.. just not being sent pictures of them. Haha!Very true! I hate penis...but I am fond of mine. It's, obviously, when a guys sends a pic of his junk unsolicited that it is creepy or an idiot move. To OP that started the thread...you can meet great guys online as well as IRL. It's maybe slightly easier to be a cheating jerk online...who knows. You have to do your due diligence in either case. I will point out that women do this whole cheating thing online, as well. Even when not cheating, women monkey branch like a sumbitch online! I'm sure guys do as well. Link to post Share on other sites
SevenCity Posted April 11, 2017 Share Posted April 11, 2017 Forget Tinder and similar app. Get yourself on a real paying dating site and just apply common sense. Paying does not give you any less chance of users, flakes, or scammers. I don't think you've used OLD in a while. Link to post Share on other sites
Gaeta Posted April 11, 2017 Share Posted April 11, 2017 Paying does not give you any less chance of users, flakes, or scammers. I don't think you've used OLD in a while. Define 'a while'. I was online from 2012 to Nov 2015 and met 200 men. I know all about users, flakes, scammers, married men, rebounds, time wasters, scorers, players. Link to post Share on other sites
Cookiesandough Posted April 11, 2017 Share Posted April 11, 2017 (edited) Do you mean pay sites? I've never noticed any difference in 'quality' of men on tinder vs any other free dating site. Usually, it's the same people on multiple sites in my area. A difference in quantity, yes. Tinder and POF had many more users than Okcupid or Bumble. Again, this would probably vary based on location?? Edited April 11, 2017 by Cookiesandough 2 Link to post Share on other sites
Cookiesandough Posted April 11, 2017 Share Posted April 11, 2017 (edited) Lol @ peni Penii That phenomenon will forever remain a mystery to me, I believe Edited April 11, 2017 by Cookiesandough 1 Link to post Share on other sites
CarbonCopy Posted April 11, 2017 Share Posted April 11, 2017 ^^^^This. Free sites can be cesspools. You get what you pay (or don't pay) for. I tried Match, a paid subscription, and it still sucked. So no, I don't agree. 3 Link to post Share on other sites
Dis Posted April 11, 2017 Share Posted April 11, 2017 Do you mean pay sites? I've never noticed any difference in 'quality' of men on tinder vs any other free dating site. Usually, it's the same people on multiple sites in my area. A difference in quantity, yes. Tinder and POF had many more users than Okcupid or Bumble. Again, this would probably vary based on location?? I agree with Cookies I've used tinder, pof, okcupid and match The only thing that was better about the paid site was there was less douches...however there were almost no attractive men in my age range...and the guys that were attractive almost always had kids...I had horrible luck with match Pof has a lot more guys than okcupid but with also more guys just looking for sex....however I will say, most guys who are on pof are on okcupid. I met the guy I'm dating now on pof and like me, hes also on okcupid. I never saw him on there though...I feel like okcupid moves at a slower pace tinder was horrible But what else can you really expect from an app like that? I've used OLD for 1.5 years. I understand how frustrating it is. Its a matter of time and patience....but good guys are out there...trust me! 5 Link to post Share on other sites
curiouslysearching Posted April 11, 2017 Share Posted April 11, 2017 I think perhaps she was feeding your ego... or you have the most photogenic penis in history. Men send me a picture of their penis's (peni?) And I want to run screaming in the opposite direction.. its too forward, and in all honesty, they aren't pretty or even cute. And I happen to like penis.. just not being sent pictures of them. oh Lily I am totally offended (being male)...LOL Yes, I am kidding 2 Link to post Share on other sites
curiouslysearching Posted April 11, 2017 Share Posted April 11, 2017 I agree with Cookies I've used tinder, pof, okcupid and match The only thing that was better about the paid site was there was less douches...however there were almost no attractive men in my age range...and the guys that were attractive almost always had kids...I had horrible luck with match Pof has a lot more guys than okcupid but with also more guys just looking for sex....however I will say, most guys who are on pof are on okcupid. I met the guy I'm dating now on pof and like me, hes also on okcupid. I never saw him on there though...I feel like okcupid moves at a slower pace tinder was horrible But what else can you really expect from an app like that? I've used OLD for 1.5 years. I understand how frustrating it is. Its a matter of time and patience....but good guys are out there...trust me! All of that above really seems like a lot like work Link to post Share on other sites
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