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Meeting up with her tomorrow


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She thought she could have me now as a friend and I said no. Felt and still feeling great after the texts. How would ignoring that help to reach my endgoal? She has doubts and I'm stating my boundaries very clearly

 

I dont think there is anything wrong with the way you handled that last communication. You calmly and civily stated to her what you want and what you are not ok with, and set healthy boundaries in a mature way. I think what Sweetfish meant is that you should have kept hardcore Nc in the very beginning, right after the breakup, so you wouldn't have gotten strung along at all to begin with. But, now you know, and you learned.

 

This didnt end on a "bad" note and that's good. IMO you showed some strength, set a boundary, and walked away. Now, for the future, make sure you keep NC. That means if 2 weeks from now she contacts you - dont respond. Disappear. She will never hear from you again.

 

She will likely try again someday since i really agree that she thinks she has you by the balls. Be ready for it, and ignore.

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  • 2 weeks later...
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Well today was my bday. Although 5 mins after our BU in February, she told me she was 'still planning to do something on my bday', I have not heard anything from her today. It's disappointing but also a huge weight off my back. She's done stringing me along when I finally put my foot down in our last communication, guess I can move on now without her trying to manipulate me any further :)

 

Yeah it's broken beyond repair, thanks for all the advice guys, I'm done.

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metrognome
Well today was my bday. Although 5 mins after our BU in February, she told me she was 'still planning to do something on my bday', I have not heard anything from her today. It's disappointing but also a huge weight off my back. She's done stringing me along when I finally put my foot down in our last communication, guess I can move on now without her trying to manipulate me any further :)

 

Yeah it's broken beyond repair, thanks for all the advice guys, I'm done.

 

Happy bday broski

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Well today was my bday. Although 5 mins after our BU in February, she told me she was 'still planning to do something on my bday', I have not heard anything from her today. It's disappointing but also a huge weight off my back. She's done stringing me along when I finally put my foot down in our last communication, guess I can move on now without her trying to manipulate me any further :)

 

Yeah it's broken beyond repair, thanks for all the advice guys, I'm done.

 

It doesn't feel like it now, but this was the best thing that could've happened on that day. Any communication from her on your birthday would've sucked you back in, even though she's made it apparent that she is finished with the relationship.

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It doesn't feel like it now, but this was the best thing that could've happened on that day. Any communication from her on your birthday would've sucked you back in, even though she's made it apparent that she is finished with the relationship.

 

Oh I know that. I did not get sucked in and I don't have to deal with any guilt about ignoring her texts.

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  • 2 months later...
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Yesterday she texted my mother, again! 2.5 months strict NC.

 

"Hi 'name', I would like to talk to you again. You were a nice and wise lady and I miss our conversations, I hope it's possible to be able to talk again. Lots of love, 'name ex'"

 

I asked my mother to ignore it, again. When we met up in April I told her I did not like it she contacted her and yet she does it again, on my mothers bday of all days...

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Way too much energy. She texts your MOM even though your not together. That shows me she's all about HERSELF.

She's always going to string you along because she can-you needed to set boundaries and you didn't.

Don't feel bad. We ALL have done this and met the same results you did.

You will learn from this.

I know right now it feel like the end of the world. But trust me when I tell you this will pass. But if you keep contact with her it won't pass.

END all contact with her and as time goes by you will improve.

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I actually said to her at our meetup I did not like it and she acknowledged it as well 'I know, I should not have done that'. She's just not respecting my boundaries I've put up. It's been a week now since her last breadcrumb and it stays quiet for now, good :)

 

Next weekend I'm going to a 3-day music festival with a new girl, camping included. My ex isn't the first thing on my mind when I wake up and law school is actually going good again. Think I'm 99% healed now. So it doesn't matter much anymore.

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