snowgirl75 Posted July 29, 2005 Share Posted July 29, 2005 Are there really any nice guys left?????? Or has the idea of marriage, family, love and support been completely removed from society. I am really trying to keep an open mind, and have high hopes that I'll meet someone that'll show me the love and respect that I give them, but I have no idea where these guys are??????? Any ideas????? Because the more guys I date, the less hopefull I become. And I'm getting really tired of having my heart broken. Am actually almost ready to give up. Any insight??? Link to post Share on other sites
A Fly onThe Wall Posted July 29, 2005 Share Posted July 29, 2005 We are out there.. We just don't show up where you are looking ... Try dating someone a friend recommends or totally switch the kind of guy you are looking for.. Just to try a new style on.. a lot of women are attracted to the bad boy image.. but they all say they want the nice guy.. There aren't any bad boy nice guys out there.. they are 2 different types of people Link to post Share on other sites
Rosalind Posted July 29, 2005 Share Posted July 29, 2005 Hello Canuck sister Yeah, where the heck are those guys? I've been wondering myself. You seem to know exactly what you want, so it's a matter of finding a guy who shares those same values. And it's important to find this out fairly soon in the relationship, or subsequently you will end up with a broken heart. Link to post Share on other sites
crazy_grl Posted July 29, 2005 Share Posted July 29, 2005 Originally posted by snowgirl75 Are there really any nice guys left?????? Or has the idea of marriage, family, love and support been completely removed from society. Most guys I've met are interested in marriage, family, etc. I've talked to a lot of guys about it, and I can only think of one who's said absolutely that he doesn't want a family and a few who were unsure if they did. I'm fairly certain they weren't just telling me what they thought I wanted to hear, because most of them knew that I have no interest in children. Some actually tried to convince me that I should want them. I've actually wondered about how women can complain about men not wanting to commit when so many men seem to know they want to get married and have kids some day. The only conclusion I can think of is that women pressure them too much, and that most men have at least a healthy fear of marriage and commitment. That's something that men usually get looked down on for, but the reality is that marriage is f*cking scary or at least being married to the wrong person is. So, maybe the problem isn't the guys that you're finding but that you don't have a healthy fear of commitment and you push them too quickly. Maybe you're scaring them away and you need to move more slowly in your relationships. Just a thought. I could be wrong... Link to post Share on other sites
Author snowgirl75 Posted July 29, 2005 Author Share Posted July 29, 2005 Thanks both of you for your responses. But the bad boy thing is so not what I've been going for. I'm way too old for those games.......lol And I am also getting to that age where all my friends are married and starting to have families, so it just is beginning to look like there just aren't any good single guys left. I am very active, and have lots of friends. Play beach volleyball all summer and ski all winter. But when it comes down to it ultimately I'm alone. Just wondering if I should just get used to it. I have a great job and I own a house, so I'm really just missing that one link in the chain. Guess I will just wait it out and see. Link to post Share on other sites
Author snowgirl75 Posted July 29, 2005 Author Share Posted July 29, 2005 crazy_grl While I respect your opinion, you couldn't be more wrong. I have never preasured anyone, infact that comment mad me laugh. I'm not looking for a ring tomorrow. I'm just wondering if there's guys out there that are looking for something real. Link to post Share on other sites
BrotherAaron Posted July 29, 2005 Share Posted July 29, 2005 The nice guys weren't getting any, so they became bitter and angry and turned into jerks so that they could get girls As far as bad boys not being nice guys, that's not true at all. No such dichotomy exists. Link to post Share on other sites
SoftDrink Posted July 29, 2005 Share Posted July 29, 2005 i like a nice mixture of bad/nice myself. no one wants a BTK, but no one wants a pu$$y either, pardon my french. Link to post Share on other sites
A Fly onThe Wall Posted July 29, 2005 Share Posted July 29, 2005 Originally posted by BrotherAaron As far as bad boys not being nice guys, that's not true at all. No such dichotomy exists. BA Dichotomy is the wrong word for what you are trying to say... Are you just spewing words that you don't know the definition to, as to make yourself feel smart ? Link to post Share on other sites
Rosalind Posted July 29, 2005 Share Posted July 29, 2005 'dichotomy'.....di~chot~o~my, noun being twofold; a classification into two opposed parts or subclasses; "the dichotomy between eastern and western culture" [syn: duality] taken from dictionary.com Link to post Share on other sites
A Fly onThe Wall Posted July 29, 2005 Share Posted July 29, 2005 Originally posted by Rosalind 'dichotomy'.....di~chot~o~my, noun being twofold; a classification into two opposed parts or subclasses; "the dichotomy between eastern and western culture" [syn: duality] taken from dictionary.com Maybe I jumped the gun...I stand corrected I had alway's understood that in order for a dichotomy to exist that the two subclasses must be divided from ONE entity.. Taken from Websters.com a division or the process of dividing into two especially mutually exclusive or contradictory groups or entities Link to post Share on other sites
SoftDrink Posted July 29, 2005 Share Posted July 29, 2005 so in that case, doesn't that particular dichotomy, in fact, exist? men, then the two kinds? i took the way he used it as wrong anyway, like he was trying to say there was no mix of bad boys being nice guys...or something. in any case, what he said was convoluted, and really could have been explained a little better. Link to post Share on other sites
Pyro Posted July 29, 2005 Share Posted July 29, 2005 Originally posted by snowgirl75 Are there really any nice guys left?????? Or has the idea of marriage, family, love and support been completely removed from society. I am really trying to keep an open mind, and have high hopes that I'll meet someone that'll show me the love and respect that I give them, but I have no idea where these guys are??????? Any ideas????? Because the more guys I date, the less hopefull I become. And I'm getting really tired of having my heart broken. Am actually almost ready to give up. Any insight??? We are out there. I know how frustrating it can be. i am currently looking for a nice girl but it is almost impossible. Where are the nice ones? Under rocks or something. IMHO, you meet them when you least expect it. Keep your head up high and your eyes open and you'll find one, and most of all, be patient. Good luck. Link to post Share on other sites
Outcast Posted July 29, 2005 Share Posted July 29, 2005 It was perfectly clear. He's saying that bifurcating malekind into 'bad boys' and 'nice guys' is wrong because there is no such dichotomy. Guys are mixtures of both. Link to post Share on other sites
doru Posted July 29, 2005 Share Posted July 29, 2005 What can I say, all my female friends tell what a nice guy I am ... Well all that's nice but being the nice guy isn't that great. I'm tired of girls wanting to be only friends with me, I don't get it why they can't see me as a lover too. Well I guess it's time to start treating girls like crap because from what I've seen this works better. Link to post Share on other sites
loony Posted July 29, 2005 Share Posted July 29, 2005 I know plenty of really nice guys who want to get married and have children. The problem is, I'm just not attracted to most of them. If you want to be precise you should ask why you're having problems meeting guys who meet your standards and who want to get married. There are so many single and lonely people out there who look for someone that they can marry and have children with that asking such a general question and alluding to a lack of decency in people is probably like a slap to their face. It's ok to have standards and it's ok to reject someone if he doesn't meet them, but make it clear that you have them and that being nice and wanting to get married is not your only criteria when it comes to picking a partner. Link to post Share on other sites
SoftDrink Posted July 29, 2005 Share Posted July 29, 2005 Originally posted by BrotherAaron As far as bad boys not being nice guys, that's not true at all. No such dichotomy exists. Originally posted by Outcast It was perfectly clear. He's saying that bifurcating malekind into 'bad boys' and 'nice guys' is wrong because there is no such dichotomy. Guys are mixtures of both. but that isn't very clear, because he's saying bad guys are not "not nice boys." but besides the fact, not all guys are mixtures of both. there are some very good, and some very bad, and that goes for all people...not just guys. there is a difference between the two. everyone understand that people have different facets of personality, but that their typical behaviour overrides the exception. if jeffrey dahmer gave me a birthday present, he's still not "a nice boy." but there are even different types of bad and good... like james dean and tom hanks...most people would know which was "good" and which was "bad" simply because of the dichotomy that exists. if it didn't, there would no difference of perception. Link to post Share on other sites
MWC_LifeBeginsAt40 Posted July 29, 2005 Share Posted July 29, 2005 I've met alot of nice guys (from Ontario) on the flirt site online. I'm not in Ontario and several of them all said, in the same weekend, "I wish we lived closer". So keep trying, they're around! Link to post Share on other sites
westernxer Posted July 29, 2005 Share Posted July 29, 2005 You probably have to change your expectations... Link to post Share on other sites
alphamale Posted July 29, 2005 Share Posted July 29, 2005 Originally posted by snowgirl75 Are there really any nice guys left?????? oh yeah, SNOWGURL75, there are literally TONS of "nice guys" around. I know some of them personally. Unfortuantely you probably wouldn' t be interested in most of them. They are either not so good looking or don't have a great job or still live with mom or have no perosnality.....but, they are nice guys. Send me a PM and I'll send you some names and phone #s.....I'm sure these dudes would LOVE to go out with you since many have not had female company in years. Link to post Share on other sites
Marshbear Posted July 29, 2005 Share Posted July 29, 2005 The "nice" guys you are referring to are your guy FRIENDS...... Link to post Share on other sites
JS17 Posted July 29, 2005 Share Posted July 29, 2005 nice guys are a myth. stop searching. oops, wait, i'm supposed to stop being bitter. so, nice guys, i'm going to go with BA and MB. the nice guys turned into jerks (i've seen it first hand) if they meet the right girl they'll change back, but only for the right girl. if you want a guy who is nice right off the bat, check your pile of friends. Link to post Share on other sites
westernxer Posted July 29, 2005 Share Posted July 29, 2005 Unfortunately, her guy friends are probably the ones she isn't attracted to. Link to post Share on other sites
Outcast Posted July 29, 2005 Share Posted July 29, 2005 like james dean and tom hanks...most people would know which was "good" and which was "bad" simply because of the dichotomy that exists. if it didn't, there would no difference of perception Sorry but it's far too simplistic (and, frankly, simple-minded) to try to classify people into 'white hats' and 'black hats'. Talk to an abused woman someday - you'll find that the reason she stayed was precisely because the guy was never 'all bad' but rather had many good points as well as the bad ones. What you assume about Dean and Hanks is what the publicists want you to assume. They invented personas for these guys and sold them and you've bought them. One of the best history lectures I ever attended was about why Catherine the Great wasn't all that great and why Ivan the Terrible wasn't really terrible. You'll miss out on some very good people if you go on image and perception alone. Link to post Share on other sites
alphamale Posted July 29, 2005 Share Posted July 29, 2005 Originally posted by Outcast You'll miss out on some very good people if you go on image and perception alone. Yes OUTCAST...i'm sure that attending a cheese and wine tasting party with Hitler would have been quite a hoot! Link to post Share on other sites
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