Author SarahsSmile Posted April 6, 2017 Author Share Posted April 6, 2017 I didn't read about the part where he came to your home with another woman. You say you're together but then you say you've never told him how you feel. Does this guy think you're just friends or what? We aren't together. Yeah, we're friends. I have been crazy about him from day one though. I'm not sure if he knows how I feel or not. I've always been too scared to tell him. Link to post Share on other sites
Simple Logic Posted April 7, 2017 Share Posted April 7, 2017 I know that's what it sounds like. But he isn't. He has a good side. I've seen it. He's had a bad break. His dad is a drunk. His mom left them for another man when he was 13. He was living with his grandmother who he adored but she died a few years ago and that was his breaking point. I feel sorry for him. All he needs is someone to show him love. Real love. He's never had that. He's searching for something but doesn't know what. I'm not responsible for him, I know that. But I want to help him. I want to be there for him. I can't let him down. He trusts me and I can't mess that up. He needs me. Not only is he a train wreck, he has zero fealings for you and zero respect for you. If he did, he wouldn't be dragging another woman home with him. If you want to feel like a door mat, keep old Brad around. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Author SarahsSmile Posted April 7, 2017 Author Share Posted April 7, 2017 Not only is he a train wreck, he has zero fealings for you and zero respect for you. If he did, he wouldn't be dragging another woman home with him. If you want to feel like a door mat, keep old Brad around. It kinda isn't his fault bringing home a girl because he doesn't know that I'm in love with him. How can I be upset when I've never showed him how I feel? Link to post Share on other sites
Author SarahsSmile Posted April 7, 2017 Author Share Posted April 7, 2017 Maybe you two need to have a dinner and ONE small glass of wine I'm not old enough to drink yet. Neither is he, but that doesn't seem to stop him though lol Link to post Share on other sites
Simple Logic Posted April 7, 2017 Share Posted April 7, 2017 It kinda isn't his fault bringing home a girl because he doesn't know that I'm in love with him. How can I be upset when I've never showed him how I feel? Stop and reverse the situation. If you were down on your luck and younask Brad to stay with him, would you show up at his place with a drunk guy you invited to spend the night? 1 Link to post Share on other sites
elpatron Posted April 7, 2017 Share Posted April 7, 2017 I think the general consensus here is that Brad is someone who will have to learn the hard way, being kicked out after treating people how he does. But at the same time it seems as though Sarah is in the same boat. Not only will Brad continue his ****e behavior, but Sarah will continue down the same enabling path. She doesn't want to leave right? Well then she too will learn the hard way, sorry to say, she knows the answer but chooses to stay. Link to post Share on other sites
Author SarahsSmile Posted April 7, 2017 Author Share Posted April 7, 2017 Stop and reverse the situation. If you were down on your luck and younask Brad to stay with him, would you show up at his place with a drunk guy you invited to spend the night? Well, no. But I wouldn't because I have feelings for Brad. I think maybe if he knew how I felt he wouldn't have done that. That's why I think I should tell him. Maybe it'll change how he acts or feels. Link to post Share on other sites
Tressugar Posted April 7, 2017 Share Posted April 7, 2017 Post again and let us know things are between Brad and you six months down the line. You confessing your love to ain't gonna change him. Link to post Share on other sites
Author SarahsSmile Posted April 7, 2017 Author Share Posted April 7, 2017 I have another thread opened concerning this same friend, but I feel this question isn't related and would be better catorgorized here. We've been friends for 4 years. He's currently having some issues with his parents so he's been staying with me. He doesn't know how I feel and I think I should let him know. I've been in love with him from the moment we met. And I simply cannot hold this back any longer. My question is, how should I do it? I get so nervous just thinking about it. I'm scared but I think he should know. He should be home soon and I'm thinking of dropping it on him tonight but still not sure how. Any tips? I'm really nervous. Link to post Share on other sites
todreaminblue Posted April 7, 2017 Share Posted April 7, 2017 i believe in balance sarahsmile(have you ever listened to the song) and there are enough people telling you that you need to get some self respect etc ..... im going to do the empathy thing its hard when you are a giving kind loving and forgiving person to cut it off...its not a hot an dcold tap ...either you are that way or you arent if you go against your natural inclination to be this way it causes all sort of problems.... its not like you are just like this with him you are like this with everyone..its way of life...not a condition.....we know full well that the world is not puppies and rainbows butterflies and starry skies...but we do what we can for people to make their lives easier ..better.....and you know what...you are awesome.....im not going to make you feel you lack self respect.........people lack who are not kind and generous....they are lacking...... and who dont respect who you are also lacking....they should respect you more for being who you are...and honestly it might take some people time to realize just how special you are.......... you get taken advantage of not because you lack respect for yourself but because some people can be dicks ...thats the world today and self respecting people get taken advantage of...because they also have admirable traits of respect for others..... i am proud to be a giver....it is what redeems me and makes me a good person.....its people who dont respect you who suck..those who use others purely for personal gain and pleasure......remember that for later...... you are a good person this guy sounds like a tough case to take on...i have had tougher/..... i understand you are going to go the extra mile even though the world seems against you even his parents .you will look at this advice given here feel lacking in self respect ..dont listen to that..you are strong......thats why people come to you..he isnt the first right?....that strength and kindness...you get things done .people help you unconditionally...dont they? they coem out fo the woodwork like magic........impossible things get done...you have mad skills......you do what you feel is right anyway........you do that...but hone your lovingness..... go to his parents...his mother......talk to her...get aback story so you have an idea of who he is...what he is going through...tell the mother you are concerned...he has family...work on repairing the bond between mother and son........ this could take a long time...and you will feel like giving up.....ask for her support..... let him know you are talking to his mum offhandedly.....say she really loves you, you know...make him think.....activate his memory..... if he comes to your house again...do some prep work...have the numbers of shelters with vacancies that help people who are homeless and financially insecure......they accept people with no money on hand....some refuges you have to pay up front...its minimal...and if you explain the situation to most refuge personell and advocate on the persons behalf.......they often jump hurdles for you....they love kind people...i found a young man of my daughters ..and yes i took him in until i could find him alternatives....i found him a place to stay in supported accomodation this way ...perfect for him..they organize payments help him seek employment....... similar to your guy.....he had been kicked out of home.....this place said no room at first...two days later after i had about twenty no room phone calls....they rang me back.....and said we have room.....as did four other places...so keep trying dont give up......while i was ringing around for accomodation...i was mediating with his mum..who loved her son.....there was a lot of hurt there....his dad was extremely angry he had some really hurtful things...he had a drug problem...i wouldnt have known unless i had contacted his mum.....i was able to inform the refuge of his drug problem...because he woudl need help with that and behaviors would be explainable .... does this seem tiring to you....it is.....always tiring ...stressful....thankless work.....i dont get paid nor would i want to ..it makes me happy to have success stories....in my brain with all the coldness that i have seen in the world....it makes me hopeful.....it is me self respecting myself to follow my heart......to trust right is right...no matter fi people think you weak adn not functioning enough to recognise patronizing ....i do what i do anyway... do what you do ...never stop being kind...... but be proactive in helping someone.....he has family and that si where i woudl start ...get your back story up so you know how to help him the best way possible...the best way to help soemone with family...is to try to join that family back together.....and with troubled teens or young men and women who you cant get back to family they need a refuge that provided familial support...... people might wonder why i do so much ....for others in positions like your friend..its because i was there...i wasnt a drug user ..my family wouldnt let me come home...you made your bed lie in it....what my step dad said to me when i begged him.......when life's circumstances put me on the street...i got raped sleeping under a bush.....my clothing bin was occupied i normally slept in.....no one helped me .....no one offered me a bed i would have kissed their feet every night..cleaned their house ...been able to look for proper employment clean and tidy ..........i wasnt a drug user.....not at all....i did become a hooker though...the only choice i felt i had....i had no friends.....and a broken family connection.....i guess the guy who i asked fro a dollar so i coudl buy a cheeseburger though eh might enable me by feeding em when i was starving...he spat ont eh ground...in front of me.....i hadnt eaten in a long time.... by me helping people...im helping the girl i was ....feel acknowledged....and i feel really happy i can help others not be the girl i was......pretty pathetic and sad abused individual..... be you..be proud...you have the skills to help others...all you need is a heart and a phone.....do look for alternative accommodation and dont let that woman back in....shes a a threat to you and by the sounds of it..... to him as well............i wish you well ...my post is so long...i am sorry ...but i am also ....maybe balancing out th ewords in this thread...smilin...i wish you light and peace...adn the knowledge most imprtan tof all....you cannot date those you help.........and huge hugs.......ps listen to the song sarahsmile....by hall and oates...its quite beautiful........deb .... 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