She showed every positive sign on our dates, but hasn't replied to my date request?

[amazonrambo]

PDA=public display of affection.

 

I'm all fine with holding hands, hugging, physical contact in public. In terms of kissing I'll only kiss for 2-3 seconds and not be snogging in public though. That's something I leave to a private place or in the car/their place.

 

However when a girl gets her crotch close to my face in a sexual way in a bowling alley with people around, especially when I've only known her five minutes, it's not something I'm used to.. Maybe that's because I've dated more maturer girls who don't act so sexually like that unless we're having sex. Kind of like they save themselves. This girl was totally open from the start, I've never experienced dating a girl like that but least I know now for the future!

[CaliforniaGirl]

Just to note, the only time I had free that week was early Thursday. She had an appointment at 11am and could only meet at 1pm. I had to leave at 4pm for work at 4:30pm. If I had the rest of the day off we'd have got closer and probably gone back to hers, but she knew we only had 3 hours together because I made that clear.

 

I'm not sure why you're focusing on this point. She heard you, vaguely, and blew off all your concerns to just give getting laid a shot anyway. She didn't CARE about your work schedule, your usual dating style or anything else. She figured if you really wanted it, you'd figure it out, and fast. You didn't.

 

She then pulled this fade bit, essentially blowing you off. If this doesn't make things clear I don't know what does. You were so Mr. Right Now that she didn't even figure it was worth a second try.

 

Yeah, she heard you. She blew off your life and your work schedule because who cares about you? SHE was horny, duh! (From her perspective, I mean.)

 

I can't believe in light of that fact, that you are even giving this one more second's thought of your time. Move on. You got played, or an attempt at it. We women know this M.O. well. There are no secrets, there isn't anything she meant but didn't or couldn't say, etc. It is plain as day. She literally just wanted to get off and have an ego boost, you didn't deliver, she is now essentially gone. You don't deserve that. Find someone else.

[amazonrambo]

I'm not sure why you're focusing on this point. She heard you, vaguely, and blew off all your concerns to just give getting laid a shot anyway. She didn't CARE about your work schedule, your usual dating style or anything else. She figured if you really wanted it, you'd figure it out, and fast. You didn't.

 

She then pulled this fade bit, essentially blowing you off. If this doesn't make things clear I don't know what does. You were so Mr. Right Now that she didn't even figure it was worth a second try.

 

Yeah, she heard you. She blew off your life and your work schedule because who cares about you? SHE was horny, duh! (From her perspective, I mean.)

 

I can't believe in light of that fact, that you are even giving this one more second's thought of your time. Move on. You got played, or an attempt at it. We women know this M.O. well. There are no secrets, there isn't anything she meant but didn't or couldn't say, etc. It is plain as day. She literally just wanted to get off and have an ego boost, you didn't deliver, she is now essentially gone. You don't deserve that. Find someone else.

 

Yeah she was very suggestive and made a lot of innuendos, but considering how forward she was, she'd have suggested for me to go back to her place. I know when she she said she wanted to see me on my week off and I suggested going to her town instead of her travelling to my city, she did say we should go to my area.

 

One thing did occur to me that she was wanting the ego boost or the attention so guess you're right.. Only as she's always on POF, but her profile says "looking for a relationship" and she's someone who has been committed before in a 4 year relationship, 10 months married, etc.

 

Thing is, it's not as if I could have said "let's go back to my place" because I still live with my parents. It would have felt wrong saying let's go to yours.

 

She probably did just want sex, but she had the opportunity to take me back in her car on our first date. But yeah guess she wasn't for me, I don't go out with girls to have sex with them within the first two dates as I want something meaningful.

 

I'm talking to other girls now anyway, she text earlier but I didn't read it.

[CaliforniaGirl]

Yeah she was very suggestive and made a lot of innuendos, but considering how forward she was, she'd have suggested for me to go back to her place. I know when she she said she wanted to see me on my week off and I suggested going to her town instead of her travelling to my city, she did say we should go to my area.

 

One thing did occur to me that she was wanting the ego boost or the attention so guess you're right.. Only as she's always on POF, but her profile says "looking for a relationship" and she's someone who has been committed before in a 4 year relationship, 10 months married, etc.

 

Thing is, it's not as if I could have said "let's go back to my place" because I still live with my parents. It would have felt wrong saying let's go to yours.

 

She probably did just want sex, but she had the opportunity to take me back in her car on our first date. But yeah guess she wasn't for me, I don't go out with girls to have sex with them within the first two dates as I want something meaningful.

 

I'm talking to other girls now anyway, she text earlier but I didn't read it.

 

You're really stuck on this issue. She made a direct move, you pushed her back...gently, but you pushed her back. She failed to close so she dropped the whole thing. It's that simple.

 

NO PLAYER is going to advertise the fact that s/he is playing. A player might have relationships in his/her background, for sure. And BTW...only ten months married doesn't exactly scream "commitment" to me. It takes some time to get divorced. How the hell soon did she start to get bored? Two days into the marriage?

 

You don't know what her four-year "relationship" was like. Did she torture him the entire time, get a lot of strange while lying to him, and use him for his pad? You don't really know, do you? What you DO know is that she was building up a relationship "resume" and we all know how people present themselves on resumes of all kinds, and just how accurate that ever tends to be.

 

Forget about all the "proof" you're trying to find that she wanted something more from you. Nobody who doesn't want to close a deal immediately if not sooner rubs her groin near someone's face in a public place, goes down on spareribs, and pulls back immediately and then fades right away when told "no" even very gently and even for good reason (it was a public place). So drop this line of thinking. You're wishing and hoping, but she is a player, at least with you...and that's it. You can't change it.

 

Great that you're talking to other girls! You sound nice, genuine, trustworthy, and very cool. You'll find somebody great. Keep looking!

[amazonrambo]

So I read her text after I told her that she can tell me if she doesn't want to pursue things anymore and when she's free to let me know, she replied "I think it's just that you can't drive I seem to be struggling with?".

 

I am actually learning to drive at the moment, but I never saw a need to have a car as my work is a walk away and city centre is a bus/train away.

 

I'll be honest and tell her "I'm learning to drive at the moment and aiming to pass my test before the summer, just to warn you to stay off the roads".

 

Is being able to drive really make or break for women?

[CaliforniaGirl]

So I read her text after I told her that she can tell me if she doesn't want to pursue things anymore and when she's free to let me know, she replied "I think it's just that you can't drive I seem to be struggling with?".

 

I am actually learning to drive at the moment, but I never saw a need to have a car as my work is a walk away and city centre is a bus/train away.

 

I'll be honest and tell her "I'm learning to drive at the moment and aiming to pass my test before the summer, just to warn you to stay off the roads".

 

Is being able to drive really make or break for women?

 

Be realistic, do you really think that's the problem?

 

Or do you think she's just pulling something out of the air as an excuse so she doesn't seem like a bad guy?

[act00]

Yes, it can be. I think it might depend on where you live. There are many folks out there who don't have cars because public transportation is just better. Where I live, you really have to have a car. I have no desire to deal with someone who doesn't have their own transportation because it puts a major burden on me to always be the one to drive to their area, and also be the taxi driver for them. How sh--y would it be to not drive a guy home or pick him up? How close do they live?

 

Plus, with new people, strangers, OLD, you never know who's going to turn out to be a psycho, so you don't want to plan on putting these strangers into your car.

 

It's a turn-off for me, in my area of the country. I don't want the burden of always driving out to him, pick up, drop off. I try to date locally, but sometimes we're still looking at 30 minutes one way, and the extra time to pick up and drop off. It can turn a 1-hour round trip to 2 hours, and he can never travel to you, so you get a break from the driving and the cost of gas and time required.

 

I would think a lot of this is regional.

[Jj66]

Where I live I wouldn't even think about dating someone who didn't have a car. There is almost non-existent public transportation.

[CaliforniaGirl]

Where I live I wouldn't even think about dating someone who didn't have a car. There is almost non-existent public transportation.

 

I don't see that this factor seemed to bother her until she trapped him bodily with her legs and he pushed her away.

 

Now all of a sudden...ZOMG...how can she date him if he doesn't have a car?

 

You've moved on, right, OP?

[amazonrambo]

Be realistic, do you really think that's the problem?

 

Or do you think she's just pulling something out of the air as an excuse so she doesn't seem like a bad guy?

 

I was thinking it was an odd thing to say. I mean, my dating profile says I don't own a car so..

[amazonrambo]

Yes, it can be. I think it might depend on where you live. There are many folks out there who don't have cars because public transportation is just better. Where I live, you really have to have a car. I have no desire to deal with someone who doesn't have their own transportation because it puts a major burden on me to always be the one to drive to their area, and also be the taxi driver for them. How sh--y would it be to not drive a guy home or pick him up? How close do they live?

 

Plus, with new people, strangers, OLD, you never know who's going to turn out to be a psycho, so you don't want to plan on putting these strangers into your car.

 

It's a turn-off for me, in my area of the country. I don't want the burden of always driving out to him, pick up, drop off. I try to date locally, but sometimes we're still looking at 30 minutes one way, and the extra time to pick up and drop off. It can turn a 1-hour round trip to 2 hours, and he can never travel to you, so you get a break from the driving and the cost of gas and time required.

 

I would think a lot of this is regional.

 

Yeah she lives 15-20 miles away but we've been meeting halfway in the city centre. I mentioned to her I'd be fine going over to her area. We live on opposite ends of the city, so that helps because she doesn't need to drive all the way to mine to take me somewhere, we can just meet there.

 

I live in a city where it has one of the best public transport links in our country so I've never felt like I needed a car, but I am taking my test right now.

[amazonrambo]

I don't see that this factor seemed to bother her until she trapped him bodily with her legs and he pushed her away.

 

Now all of a sudden...ZOMG...how can she date him if he doesn't have a car?

 

You've moved on, right, OP?

 

But I was getting positive signs after she did that, there was only a period of 5-10 minutes where she put on the puppy eyes, turned her bottom lip and acted sad (looked like she was doing it in a jokey way). We got closer at the end of the date where she was fidgeting with my coat and I initiated the kiss, then when I walked over to my taxi she stopped me and kissed me again. She also said she had a really lovely time over text the day after.

 

This is why I couldn't understand, because it didn't seem to bother her towards the end of the date. Just weird how people can change what they feel, but hey ho..

[CaliforniaGirl]

But I was getting positive signs after she did that, there was only a period of 5-10 minutes where she put on the puppy eyes, turned her bottom lip and acted sad (looked like she was doing it in a jokey way). We got closer at the end of the date where she was fidgeting with my coat and I initiated the kiss, then when I walked over to my taxi she stopped me and kissed me again. She also said she had a really lovely time over text the day after.

 

This is why I couldn't understand, because it didn't seem to bother her towards the end of the date. Just weird how people can change what they feel, but hey ho..

 

Yeah. You were still right there. With your penis. She still tried for some. It didn't happen. Now she's mumbling about how she's soooooo busy plus, um...you don't have a car...so...(trail off, fade, blah blah)

 

What on earth is keeping you going over this point again and again and again...

 

I have had guys who clearly were looking for some tail, weren't going to get it from me that very night, and seemed a bit put off, still try to pull the "I want to discover your lunch from today with my tongue, let me go in and try to find it" at the very end of the date. Because why not...I was still there...there was still a hair of a chance...when it was no, things fizzled shortly following. It happens. Why are you going over and over and over the same points? There are other girls out there!

 

Oh, also ...she pouted for 10 minutes? Are you serious?

 

That is a LONG time, way too long to be a gentle show of "I wish we could do more but that's okay for now" or to be a little light joke or anything.

 

She was PIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIZED. You did not come through, she was angry she didn't get what she wanted. Ten minutes? Geez. What did you do all that time while she was sticking out her lip? Wasn't that uncomfortable?

 

She was pushing and hard for you to say "okay, let's do it" just to get her to stop being angry. Hard, really hard.

 

I can't believe you're wondering if there's more to this than, she was horny, and doesn't want any sort of relationship with you. Basically she was demanding sex, she even physically pinned you with her legs. She was ANGRY when you said no and gave an extended display of that. She perked up enough to try to do a recovery and get the D anyway before the date was over and she binned you for good, that didn't happen, now she's "uh, um"-ing stupid excuses for not seeing you again but you still can't see what this was?

 

Move on! Find a new girl.

Edited March 28, 2017 by a LoveShack.org Moderator

[amazonrambo]

She ended up sending a text this morning saying "It just makes it difficult. I'm spending too much on trains at the moment and it is a little bit of a deal breaker which is annoying cause I really like you".