Is there a reason he keeps viewing my profile?

[Redhead14]

I really liked him and he seemed to like me, but I was always available to him and I shouldn't have been. I treated him with a lot of respect and it got to 8 months before he admitted he didn't want to commit. He has all these gross women throwing themselves at him and I was just like "Cool, if that's what he wants I'm not going to stick around to see it all though". I went from always being there to not contacting him.

 

He had me blocked on FB because he only wanted to talk on POF, and I wasn't having it so I blocked him on POF. Come to find out after a while he unblocked me on FB and started lurking on my POF to get my attention.

 

I've done this thing before of not contacting him, and it's only been a week so he's probably thinking I will come around. My goal isn't to get him to want to be with me, I just figured I might as well mess with him the way he has with me. Call me childish, idc but at this point I'm not concerned with what's morally right, I just want to sort of set myself apart and get some of my pride out. Can you help a sister LOL?

 

My pride doesn't rest on playing childish mind-games . . . no one hurts my pride. My pride/confidence comes from inside of me. I am comfortable in my own skin and if someone else isn't comfortable with that, so be it.

 

I just want to sort of set myself apart -- If you want to set yourself apart, then don't be someone's crazy EX and don't be the girl who seeks revenge. The way to set yourself apart is to walk away with your head held high and not engaging in immature activities -- that's what girls do, not strong, secure women do. Set yourself apart from the girls by being a grown, adult woman.

 

Stop wasting your time and get focused on YOU. Forget about HIM, what he's doing or not doing or thinking.

[stillafool]

I realize he doesn't want me, I was just wondering

 

If you realize this why are you even giving him a second thought instead of moving on to someone who actually wants you?

[KBob]

In response to the thread title: no. If a woman doesn't want to pay attention to me, I'll keep looking for one that does.

[preraph]

He doesn't want you, so you need to reach a point when what you do has nothing to do with what he will think of it. Guys are very visual. Out of sight, out of mind.

[CaliforniaGirl]

Here's my take in general on this subject:

 

If you have to play a "chase me" game in order to get the man to give you attention, and he does respond to it, then he's someone who will respond to someone running away, but only as long as she's running, and maybe even then not forever. So that means you'd have to literally be running away all the time and never be able to throw your arms around him and SHOW you you loved him. Not for the entire duration of your relationship (or for as long as he felt like continuing to chase, before just ending things).

 

And OTOH, if he's just not interested, even if he enjoys "the chase" (and not all men do, for sure), he probably won't chase even if you ARE running away. With this possibility, you've failed right out of the gate. It's over before it starts.

 

So...you'll never actually "have" this person. Period. No matter how you slice it.

[Tressugar]

For me it has. It seems when I pull back that's when dudes come knocking at my door.

 

I think it's called the 'rubber band theory'. But there's a catch, the guy has to be genuinely interested in you in order for this to work.

[Kitchen]

For me it has. It seems when I pull back that's when dudes come knocking at my door.

 

I think it's called the 'rubber band theory'. But there's a catch, the guy has to be genuinely interested in you in order for this to work.

 

Ok so when this happens what do you do? Do you continue with him or continue pulling back? Do you take his "rubber band" behavior as a sign of ingenuity and avoid him? I ask because this is exactly happened with a girl I was dating - she rubber banded me and idk if she'll ever bounce back. Thanks and sorry to hijack the thread OP.

[CaliforniaGirl]

Ok so when this happens what do you do? Do you continue with him or continue pulling back? Do you take his "rubber band" behavior as a sign of ingenuity and avoid him? I ask because this is exactly happened with a girl I was dating - she rubber banded me and idk if she'll ever bounce back. Thanks and sorry to hijack the thread OP.

 

She's just too young for you, Kitchen.

[Gr8fuln2020]

Only the clingy, insecure types will fall for that. That is true for both women and men. The men who have other options or more secure will simply write you off.

 

Oh, and the type of guy who sees you as a challenge, a mission will sometimes reboot and gravitate back towards you. Once they get what they want, they're gone.

[Jj66]

It all depends. I don't chase women when they pull away. And I haven't since my 20s. I just stay where I am and they come back. Or they don't. It seems most do. I have no reason to expect guys would be any different in this respect. The person who cares less has the power.

[OnlyHonesty]

It's probably one of the best ways to get him to completely forget about you.

[Kitchen]

She's just too young for you, Kitchen.

 

.....what?

[Tressugar]

@Kitchen,

 

No after that I fully move forward with the person. My mother always told me never to be too available for guys or they will lose interest.

 

You men like to chase.

 

It has nothing to do with age, sorry.

[Shanex]

I hate chasing, but the guy we're talking about here has been immature throughout the story, block, unblock.. silly.

 

No, you won't get his attention suddenly writing him off, most likely he will run the other way and find someone else, and you too.

[CaliforniaGirl]

.....what?

 

Uh, I actually have no idea. Literally.

 

I mean thinking back (my posts will always be moderated because of some computer issue? Can't remember what the problem is there, something technical), I didn't even think I was answering this particular thread when I answered that. I was answering someone who had been complaining of a very young girl.

 

That's just odd and very Twilight Zone-y, so just ignore, I guess.

[CaliforniaGirl]

@Kitchen,

 

No after that I fully move forward with the person. My mother always told me never to be too available for guys or they will lose interest.

 

You men like to chase.

 

It has nothing to do with age, sorry.

 

^ I agree with your mom *in a way*. If by "too available" you mean jumping for the phone, eagerly rearranging something you previously had lined up in order to accommodate the guy on a moment's notice, helplessly agreeing to Netflix and Chill rather than ever going out (and him leaving right after) but you're up for it all over again the next time, grabbing for his scraps...that sort of thing...then yes. That's too available and will turn a man off. Hell, that would turn me off as a woman, if my guy acted like this. (I don't know if that's what the OP meant when she said she was available to him, though.)

 

But in general, a normal availability and shows of interest - "Sure, this weekend totally works for me. How about Saturday? All right, looking forward to it" shouldn't send a guy running. If it does, there's a problem and the problem isn't the woman being too available.

 

Bottom line: if the guy just plain isn't interested, becoming less available probably won't make him interested. Not actually interested, as in "Aha! I see her in a new light now. All of a sudden, I want a relationship with her. She is worth SO MUCH more than I thought the bajillion other times she was hanging around."

 

OP, your guy just isn't very into this. He may show more interest temporarily because he'll be trying to say the right things in order to make sure he can get back into your pants when he wants to, but that'll likely be the extent of it, at least based on your story (obviously I don't know either of you personally). I fear he will show that bit of interest, you'll think "It's working!" and protest weakly for about 5 minutes before dropping your pants, then he'll be all but gone again and you'll be back here MORE brokenhearted than before.

[Jj66]

A woman being too available might be a turn off but a woman being too unavailable is a deal breaker. The sweet middle ground is where it's at. I want her to be interested- by being available, but have a life of her own, which means she doesn't cow to my every whim.

[Gr8fuln2020]

@Kitchen,

 

No after that I fully move forward with the person. My mother always told me never to be too available for guys or they will lose interest.

 

You men like to chase.

 

It has nothing to do with age, sorry.

 

Man here. Do not like to 'chase.' Just make yourself available enough so that we can get to know one another and grow as a couple, independently.

[IManifestLove]

He didn't want a committed relationship but seemed to really like me a lot as I did him. I stopped talking to him out of the blue for my own sanity and this is like day 13 of no contact and he's checked my profile twice this week. Yesterday for some reason was really painful for me but I can feel myself getting better. I uploaded some cute photos and have been starting to get myself looking good and dressed nice and makeup all done up and I'm feeling better. Does he care a little bit about me?

[Zahara]

It doesn't matter that he cares for you "a little bit". The reality is that he cannot and will not give you what you want. So glimpsing into your profile means absolutely nothing. Other than the occasional curiosity on his part, you need to focus on what you believe you deserve rather than little crumbs this man may be throwing at you.