Ghosted

[so gutted]

Run from this one as fast as you can. She got a hold of his phone, and she is pissed he is seeing someone, and it really doesn't matter if they slept together or not.

 

Are they really broken up? How long?

 

This is your future if you want to stay with him, and his kid, her kid.

 

Yes, you want an apology -- don't expect it, and don't demand it. Drop all contact with him, even if he does call or text with a heartfelt apology. This is drama that is best avoided. This won't get better.

 

This child, meaning his mother, will always, always be an issue and a part of your life (should you continue). Find someone who has at least a half-arsed reasonable working relationship with his child's mother, or someone without children.

 

 

They only broke up because she cheated on him, it was 2 months ago but he said he stayed longer then he should have hoping she would stop the alcohol and for child.

[elaine567]

They only broke up because she cheated on him, it was 2 months ago but he said he stayed longer then he should have hoping she would stop the alcohol and for child.

That is his side of the story.

 

Do not get involved with guys who are newly broken up or just separated.

As you have found out, it gets messy.

Even if he dumped her for cheating, then 2 months is no time at all to process his feelings and get over her. They have a kid together too.

Keep away from these guys, it will be you that always gets hurt.

[so gutted]

Hi did say, he didn't want a physical relationship yet. He wanted to be friends first as it is too soon.

[elaine567]

Also remember that women often self medicate with alcohol and sometimes that is due to very bad relationships and even domestic abuse.

So whilst you may feel it is good to try to help a support a poor guy who has an alcoholic wife, do not forget that he may indeed be the main cause of her alcoholism...

 

Another good reason to stay away from this guy.

[act00]

Thank you. The best advice.

 

Its impossible to find someone without kids at my age.

 

This just makes me sad because it seems that by having a kid with a man you can trap him. By not having kids I am a useless commodity because I'm left with this sort of scenario.

 

My compromise was accepting he had kids, only to be lied to.

 

When kids are in the picture, it creates a two-fold extra layer of stuff you have to deal with. One, you have to take on the role of step-mother. Two, you have to deal with this child's mother. If the mother and father don't have a good working relationship (even if they fight sometimes), you are up s**t creek. The younger the child, the more of an intertwined web it becomes. You don't have to be best friends with the mom, but you do have to be able to have a working relationship with her, even if a majority of it is through the father, your boyfriend/husband.

 

My ex and I have a descent working relationship. His new wife overstepped a couple of times, and I laid into my ex on that. She called me once, and I told her to back off. Overall, really not bad. I haven't had any relationships yet where I've had to really deal with the "stepmother" type of role, but I was communicating with someone who had an ex wreaking havoc, and I didn't even bother with a first date. No thank you.

[Popsicle]

Girl you'd better run away from this. There is no need to analyze.

[CptInsano]

It's only two dates, so far. No matter what happens, who is right or wrong, and who apologizes or not, you don't want this in your life.

[LostOnes05]

No no - she drinks and drives.

 

He did mention that she was an alcoholic and he stayed with her because of child.

 

I guess I got played - again.

 

Another married man.

 

Another man with kids lying.

 

He didn't get anything from me apart from my time and hope.

 

He accepted my disillusioned and preyed on them. Very cruel tactic.

 

Probably a joint scam.

 

Ahh, gotcha! I need LASIK haha. But still, trying to maintain this relationship would be the equivalent of going to a restaurant and asking for the plate of half-eaten food from the last patron...and telling yourself it was a gourmet meal.