so gutted Posted March 14, 2017 Share Posted March 14, 2017 2 dates. Lots of talk in between. 2 long dates. His ex calls me in a drunken state with his child in the background. She leaves a message saying his cum is on her. She is in his kitchen. She then shouts racial abuse and asks their daughter to join in. I texted him. She left another message referring to the text. Its clear she has his phone. None of this fits in with his personality. He did mention she was an alcoholic and drinks and drives. No word from him since this. I expected an apology at the least. Link to post Share on other sites
Dis Posted March 14, 2017 Share Posted March 14, 2017 2 dates. Lots of talk in between. 2 long dates. His ex calls me in a drunken state with his child in the background. She leaves a message saying his cum is on her. She is in his kitchen. She then shouts racial abuse and asks their daughter to join in. I texted him. She left another message referring to the text. Its clear she has his phone. None of this fits in with his personality. He did mention she was an alcoholic and drinks and drives. No word from him since this. I expected an apology at the least. Ummm no....an apology is the last thing you need This guy has more baggage than Louis Vuitton Whether what she is saying is true or not....RUN!!! 12 Link to post Share on other sites
CaliforniaGirl Posted March 14, 2017 Share Posted March 14, 2017 Oh...God. Are you sure this is anything you want to be remotely involved with? P.s. Somebody should call CPS. 4 Link to post Share on other sites
Author so gutted Posted March 14, 2017 Author Share Posted March 14, 2017 This doesn't fit in with his behaviour towards me. The constant contact and now nothing... and I cannot contact him as she may have taken his phone. Link to post Share on other sites
Author so gutted Posted March 14, 2017 Author Share Posted March 14, 2017 Oh...God. Are you sure this is anything you want to be remotely involved with? P.s. Somebody should call CPS. Maybe she is crazy. You have to be crazy to leave racial Abuse in front of a child while drunk during the day. Link to post Share on other sites
rester Posted March 14, 2017 Share Posted March 14, 2017 Two dates? Run from this and don't look back. His ex did you a favor with that phone call. 5 Link to post Share on other sites
Author so gutted Posted March 14, 2017 Author Share Posted March 14, 2017 Do you think it's true? She slept with him. I knew it was too good to be true. 2 long very perfect dates as follow up. Link to post Share on other sites
goldway90 Posted March 14, 2017 Share Posted March 14, 2017 Do you think it's true? She slept with him. I knew it was too good to be true. 2 long very perfect dates as follow up. It shouldn't matter and you don't need to actually care about her sleeping with him. You need to RUN like you never did before. 4 Link to post Share on other sites
elaine567 Posted March 14, 2017 Share Posted March 14, 2017 I guess she ain't too pleased to find he is cheating on her. Drunk or not, she will be in a highly charged state, so I am sure she said stuff she normally would not have uttered. Anger, disappointment, upset, hurt, jealousy are emotions that make us all "crazy". Stay well away, do not get involved. Block him. NEXT! 6 Link to post Share on other sites
Dis Posted March 14, 2017 Share Posted March 14, 2017 #1- Go NC and keep it that way forever!!! #2- Like California said, call DCF This is actually a very serious situtation and I think you need to put your hurt aside for a second This poor kid might be in desperate need of help I would call DCF pronto! 1-800-792-5200 - DCF hotline if you live in the U.S 3 Link to post Share on other sites
Tressugar Posted March 14, 2017 Share Posted March 14, 2017 He's probably embarrassed, so that's why the no contact. He figures you'll leave him alone after this. This is at the point of no return. Take it from me hun, cut this one loose. 3 Link to post Share on other sites
Cookiesandough Posted March 14, 2017 Share Posted March 14, 2017 Do you think it's true? She slept with him. I knew it was too good to be true. 2 long very perfect dates as follow up. He probably did, TBH.. Why even contemplate involving yourself in this mess after two dates...no matter how amazing they were. Listen to the others. 2 Link to post Share on other sites
Zahara Posted March 14, 2017 Share Posted March 14, 2017 None of this fits his personality? Just because you had two long dates and long talks you think you know the guy? Get real OP. You just got whacked over the head with a huge red flag. Pay attention. You should be running and thanking your lucky stars, not seeking an apology. 7 Link to post Share on other sites
Author so gutted Posted March 14, 2017 Author Share Posted March 14, 2017 He's probably embarrassed, so that's why the no contact. He figures you'll leave him alone after this. This is at the point of no return. Take it from me hun, cut this one loose. Yes - I don't want a made or partner after me. Also he told me they were not married yet she has his surname. I just don't get the racial but, how did she know my origin? It shows she went through his messages where he was conversing with me a lot all the time, initiated by him. I do think it's a bit harsh on him. If she did take his phone. I feel like I have been scammed. I informed the authorities but didn't go to arresting her stage because That would involve me going to court. Link to post Share on other sites
CloudyHead Posted March 14, 2017 Share Posted March 14, 2017 Personally, I think he's married. People do lie . . . . 4 Link to post Share on other sites
elaine567 Posted March 14, 2017 Share Posted March 14, 2017 Personally, I think he's married. People do lie . . . . I think so too. The poor woman... The racist bit was not cool but I guess most BS's are not exactly Mrs "Sugar and Spice and all Things Nice" when they find out their husband has been cheating on them. Link to post Share on other sites
Author so gutted Posted March 14, 2017 Author Share Posted March 14, 2017 Possibly... Why was he convincing me to marry him then? Link to post Share on other sites
elaine567 Posted March 14, 2017 Share Posted March 14, 2017 Possibly... Why was he convincing me to marry him then? After two dates???? 3 Link to post Share on other sites
Redhead14 Posted March 14, 2017 Share Posted March 14, 2017 The OP has a very "disturbing" thread history . . . 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Author so gutted Posted March 14, 2017 Author Share Posted March 14, 2017 She said it all in a very measured voice. The racial it's could have been anything ... I had to listen to it a few times... It could be that she is a crazy ex, who is using the child to keep him. Maybe I just saw his best behaviour. He was a good actor. It seems that I cannot avoid men with kids, but why do they all have to be married. Makes me do distrustful. I think so too. The poor woman... The racist bit was not cool but I guess most BS's are not exactly Mrs "Sugar and Spice and all Things Nice" when they find out their husband has been cheating on them. Link to post Share on other sites
Author so gutted Posted March 14, 2017 Author Share Posted March 14, 2017 After two dates???? Well he mentioned marriage and invited me to dinner at his place. Maybe it was all lies. On her social media there are no pictures of them both. Lots of her drunk. Link to post Share on other sites
LostOnes05 Posted March 14, 2017 Share Posted March 14, 2017 2 dates. Lots of talk in between. 2 long dates. His ex calls me in a drunken state with his child in the background. She leaves a message saying his cum is on her. She is in his kitchen. She then shouts racial abuse and asks their daughter to join in. I texted him. She left another message referring to the text. Its clear she has his phone. None of this fits in with his personality. He did mention she was an alcoholic and drinks and drives. No word from him since this. I expected an apology at the least. You really want a guy that is an alcoholic and professes to drink and drive? Also his ex is obviously in the picture and possibly sleeping with him. You can do better, I'm sure. 2 Link to post Share on other sites
Author so gutted Posted March 14, 2017 Author Share Posted March 14, 2017 No no - she drinks and drives. He did mention that she was an alcoholic and he stayed with her because of child. I guess I got played - again. Another married man. Another man with kids lying. He didn't get anything from me apart from my time and hope. He accepted my disillusioned and preyed on them. Very cruel tactic. Probably a joint scam. Link to post Share on other sites
act00 Posted March 14, 2017 Share Posted March 14, 2017 Run from this one as fast as you can. She got a hold of his phone, and she is pissed he is seeing someone, and it really doesn't matter if they slept together or not. Are they really broken up? How long? This is your future if you want to stay with him, and his kid, her kid. Yes, you want an apology -- don't expect it, and don't demand it. Drop all contact with him, even if he does call or text with a heartfelt apology. This is drama that is best avoided. This won't get better. This child, meaning his mother, will always, always be an issue and a part of your life (should you continue). Find someone who has at least a half-arsed reasonable working relationship with his child's mother, or someone without children. 5 Link to post Share on other sites
Author so gutted Posted March 14, 2017 Author Share Posted March 14, 2017 Thank you. The best advice. Its impossible to find someone without kids at my age. This just makes me sad because it seems that by having a kid with a man you can trap him. By not having kids I am a useless commodity because I'm left with this sort of scenario. My compromise was accepting he had kids, only to be lied to. Link to post Share on other sites
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