Miss Peach Posted March 14, 2017 Share Posted March 14, 2017 What is he doing? Well when I dont text him right back, he'll send me another text about something else....its like he's trying to keep my attention. He doesnt need to do that or try so hard though....if I like a guy he doesnt need to bend over backwards for me Another thing, he tries really hard to be funny but he's not, so his jokes kind of come off as odd The last thing, he's texting me way too much. I dont think a lot of texting before the first meet up is a good thing. I like some, but not constant I think I've gotten to a point where I'm really turned off now and tbh, I dont want to meet him I think in an effort to change my picking skills, I swung a little too far left as in, I'm not attracted to him for the most part but wanted to give him a chance because he's really nice Try to look at this from the guy's view. They really have no idea what type of woman you are. Some women will think they're not texting enough. Others will think it's too little. Every woman is using a different book and men really usually have no idea in the beginning what it's going to take. I always try to cut guys a little slack with that sort of thing and then praise the things I do like so he gets some positive reinforcement on what to do more of. Link to post Share on other sites
Author Dis Posted March 14, 2017 Author Share Posted March 14, 2017 Try to look at this from the guy's view. They really have no idea what type of woman you are. Some women will think they're not texting enough. Others will think it's too little. Every woman is using a different book and men really usually have no idea in the beginning what it's going to take. I always try to cut guys a little slack with that sort of thing and then praise the things I do like so he gets some positive reinforcement on what to do more of. I totally hear you, if I wasnt already super turned off...I would cut him some slack Link to post Share on other sites
goldway90 Posted March 14, 2017 Share Posted March 14, 2017 So are you going to meet with him or it's not going to happen? Link to post Share on other sites
No_Go Posted March 14, 2017 Share Posted March 14, 2017 OH and one last thing ! It's not a bad thing to be the 'good looking one' in the relationship. If the man with you feels he's won the lottery he will always cherish you. Not my experience... Neither of my girlfriends. Men had very bad perception for their own looks (highly overstated usually) Link to post Share on other sites
Author Dis Posted March 14, 2017 Author Share Posted March 14, 2017 So are you going to meet with him or it's not going to happen? Hey gold! No, I dont think I can do it The point of no return in terms of disintrest has been reached Link to post Share on other sites
goldway90 Posted March 14, 2017 Share Posted March 14, 2017 Hey gold! No, I dont think I can do it The point of no return in terms of disintrest has been reached I see, have you told him that though? Link to post Share on other sites
Author Dis Posted March 15, 2017 Author Share Posted March 15, 2017 I see, have you told him that though? Well, after having a brief conversation with a juice head on pof (who was dumber than a post) I blocked him shortly after because I am NOT repeating my pattern...this guy in question isnt looking too bad now I did tell him that I couldnt make it tomorrow, which I really cant because something came up with school...I'm thinking maybe I'll reschedule Theres always conflict going on in my head Its just one date...why do I have to make such a big deal about it??? 1 Link to post Share on other sites
KBob Posted March 15, 2017 Share Posted March 15, 2017 Its just one date...why do I have to make such a big deal about it??? That's the spirit! You have nothing to lose by going out for one date, then you'll know for sure! 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Cookiesandough Posted March 15, 2017 Share Posted March 15, 2017 I think an idiot on POF making this guy look good doesn't say much x.x Where's the fire....keep talking to diff guys on diff apps til you find one cute and sweet! 1 Link to post Share on other sites
lionlover1973 Posted March 15, 2017 Share Posted March 15, 2017 I'm not excited about him You shouldn't be. You haven't met him yet. Not sure I agree with the 'good looking guys' theory. My ex was quite handsome (and had an awesome personality). He was a GREAT bf. (Very kind, loving, etc.). My sister married a former male model, he is an absolutely terrific husband and father (and has an awesome personality) The point is - not all men are doctors. Any tips on how to break out of this pattern? Time to look inwards. 3 Link to post Share on other sites
Author Dis Posted March 15, 2017 Author Share Posted March 15, 2017 I think an idiot on POF making this guy look good doesn't say much x.x Where's the fire....keep talking to diff guys on diff apps til you find one cute and sweet! Lmfao Cookies Thats true! Dont worry I'm still on the look out, I'm just super picky and most of the guys arent meeting my criteria Still moving along though! Love your avatar btw 1 Link to post Share on other sites
GemmaUK Posted March 15, 2017 Share Posted March 15, 2017 Sounds like you're not going to meet this one from more recent posts.. What is he doing? Well when I dont text him right back, he'll send me another text about something else....its like he's trying to keep my attention. He doesnt need to do that or try so hard though....if I like a guy he doesnt need to bend over backwards for me Another thing, he tries really hard to be funny but he's not, so his jokes kind of come off as odd The last thing, he's texting me way too much. I dont think a lot of texting before the first meet up is a good thing. I like some, but not constant I think I've gotten to a point where I'm really turned off now and tbh, I dont want to meet him I think in an effort to change my picking skills, I swung a little too far left as in, I'm not attracted to him for the most part but wanted to give him a chance because he's really nice But - those two bolded bits to me would concern me. Sounds like he has a lack of consideration for your time - and that is even before you have met. If this was happening to me prior to meeting I would skip meeting. If I were already dating the guy I would ask him to slow it down. If he can't won't then that's my signal to stop dating him. I haven't responded at all about his looks or your attraction to him deliberately as I want you to see more clearly the stuff he is doing which you should at the least be wary of or at most choose to skip meeting the guy. But this would be the same for any guy whether you are attracted or not. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Leigh 87 Posted March 15, 2017 Share Posted March 15, 2017 ....have you ever tried to just be very open to the possibility of falling for a guy that is outside your type? I mean actually being into them in the same way you are with the "hot guy" I find that pure chemistry can be obtained in unusual packages; it can still be as natural and natural as it once was with the hotties......... Going for pure chemistry (for your first initial real life meet up) can get to the stage where you dismiss the outward exterior and get lead by pheromones and energy. It sounds crazy but it has made fat bald men instantly irresistible to me and in turn, it has made ME appear hot and gorgeous to various men DESPITE me not being considered pretty (by the vast majority of men and women). People lament at their lack of success at obtain the people they "want". But how many of you have really tried to strip the check list back to the basics and beyond very basic criteria, such as having a full time job and being a good person and wanting a family (or not)? I think people focus too much on whether a person is tertiary educated or whether or not they own a house; if you want REAL chemistry AND substance..... why not make that AND a few are essential prerequisites, ALL that you go for? I don't believe you need to forgot crazy attraction for the sake of finding a decent partner. Just like Charlotte in Sex And the City..... her bald short hairy hubby, turned out to be the guy that she had the best bedroom chemistry with! 4 Link to post Share on other sites
CptInsano Posted March 15, 2017 Share Posted March 15, 2017 [...] But how many of you have really tried to strip the check list back to the basics and beyond very basic criteria, such as having a full time job and being a good person and wanting a family (or not)? I think you can go a bit further with that list, but the basic approach is absolutely right IMHO, meaning that you don't compromise on what is truly important to you, and really don't let things that a nice to have derail a possible relationship. Just like you, I have also picked up some "acquired tastes" over the years, and in hindsight I'm glad I gave these women a try. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Author Dis Posted March 15, 2017 Author Share Posted March 15, 2017 (edited) I've dated plenty of guys that werent my type in the past Guys that werent in good shape, or had a few extra pounds and I was very attracted to them It isnt really his looks that are turning me off Whats turning me off is that he's blowing up my phone and trying way too hard He sent me another text last night, that was 6 texts within 18 hours that he sent without hearing a reply from me He asked if we were still on for the date, I told him I'd have to cancel Edited March 15, 2017 by Disillusionment373 1 Link to post Share on other sites
salparadise Posted March 15, 2017 Share Posted March 15, 2017 Whats turning me off is that he's blowing up my phone and trying way too hard He sent me another text last night, that was 6 texts within 18 hours that he sent without hearing a reply from me He asked if we were still on for the date, I told him I'd have to cancel Why don't you respond when he texts? Then he wouldn't be texting without hearing a reply... not texting enough, texting too much, trying to hard, not trying hard enough... if you're not interested just cut it off. If you are, then reciprocate and let things flow! I guess that's way to simple, though? I'm sure all this make sense in some other universe. Link to post Share on other sites
Author Dis Posted March 15, 2017 Author Share Posted March 15, 2017 Why don't you respond when he texts? Then he wouldn't be texting without hearing a reply... not texting enough, texting too much, trying to hard, not trying hard enough... if you're not interested just cut it off. If you are, then reciprocate and let things flow! I guess that's way to simple, though? I'm sure all this make sense in some other universe. I did cut it off but I needed time (18 hours) to think things through before I did I think thats pretty reasonable Link to post Share on other sites
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