Cheating?

[JamesM]

You've been dating for a YEAR and he has a problem with you looking at his phone?

 

Giving you his password is understandable. I know he should have nothing to hide, but many people are private with passwords especially since they use then for multiple accounts. This does not mean they have something to hide. However, he could have easily entered the password and then given you the phone. It would have made you comfortable and yet he would have kept his password safe.

 

Sending screenshots after the fact means to me he actually IS hiding something. He probably spent a couple of sweaty hours wondering how he could cover his behind after being put on the spot. As was said, he was better off not sending them. That made him more suspicious.

 

Not to help him but if he is going to cheat, then why in the world isn't he deleting calls just in case you ask for the phone? People never amaze me at how stupid they are.

[elaine567]

Not to help him but if he is going to cheat, then why in the world isn't he deleting calls just in case you ask for the phone?

I guess he may be deleting stuff now...

[olivetree]

I agree with the others that he shot himself in the foot by refusing to show you out of principle and then conceding and sending you screenshots later.

He would have been much better off just refusing and standing by his supposed principles.

 

Why did you feel the need to ask him in the first place?

Seems like there are trust issues to begin with.

[preraph]

I think people should stay off each other's phones until something happens that they find out the person is cheating but they want to dedicate themselves to working it out. If you get caught cheating and want a second chance, that is when you need to be completely an open book.

 

Looking at someone's phone is going looking for trouble. A lot can be miscontrued. I used to get bent out of shape back in the MySpace days because my LDR had this twit on his page sending him messages and her photo was of her licking her own boob! At first, I just thought how trashy and she's an internet prostitute (she probably was) and that she'd just scroll off the page and that would be the end of it, but when it became clear they had possibly met in person in Vegas, even though there was zero commitment between us, my interest in him started declining. I don't mind debauchery, but shady ladies is another thing.

[Space Ritual]

Hey. So my bf and I have been dating for a year now. Last night I asked him for his cell phone password. I had no intention of going through his phone, just wanted to see his reaction but he was really hesitant to give it to me. He asked me why I need it and if im planning on going through his things.

 

Things sort of escalated once he started acting weird about giving me his password. I then asked to let me see who he talks to if he has nothing to hide. He refused.He said he has nothing to hide and that it's a matter of principle. He said he did not want to give me his phone because I was demanding it. Later that night he messaged, apologizing saying how he reacted in a manner that was wrong and he understands why I'm upset.

 

He sent me screenshots of the people he does talk to me. But im having a hard time believing anything he says because how do I know he did not delete anything ? Why send it to me now when he refused to let me see it in person ?

 

Those who have nothing to hide, hide nothing.

 

sure he went home, cleaned out his phone and then sent you screen shots with a limp dick apology. LOL. One of the oldest tricks in the book other than saying "He/she is just a friend. Like a brother/sister that I can talk to".

 

Yep you have a shady BF. Continue the relationship at your own peril.

[dumbass2]

I think people should stay off each other's phones until something happens that they find out the person is cheating but they want to dedicate themselves to working it out. If you get caught cheating and want a second chance, that is when you need to be completely an open book.

 

Looking at someone's phone is going looking for trouble. A lot can be misconstrued. I used to get bent out of shape back in the MySpace days because my LDR had this twit on his page sending him messages and her photo was of her licking her own boob! At first, I just thought how trashy and she's an internet prostitute (she probably was) and that she'd just scroll off the page and that would be the end of it, but when it became clear they had possibly met in person in Vegas, even though there was zero commitment between us, my interest in him started declining. I don't mind debauchery, but shady ladies is another thing.

 

Unless you have a good reason to suspect something, it should not become an issue and you should not ask. I don't like the fact the he ended up sending a screen shot though. It would have been best if he did nothing or just unlocked the phone (not given the password) and showed what was on there, but like the above poster said, things can still get misconstrued and open up some unnecessary drama.

[4x4storm]

BF and I have been dating 15 months. If he asked me my password, or if I asked him his password, it would be the end of our relationship.

 

Wow isn't that overreacting a little bit well actually a lot ?

 

For me I would have no issues with it because seriously I have nothing to hide! Although I remember when my ex gf went into my photos I snatched my phone back because I have a ton of shirtless gym selfies which I was really embarrassed by

[lurker74]

LOL - is this a thing? I would never give you my PW...I might let you look at my phone for a minute but give you unlimited access whenever you want? Not bloody likely, and FWIW, I'm not cheating.

[usa1ah]

Hey. So my bf and I have been dating for a year now. Last night I asked him for his cell phone password. I had no intention of going through his phone, just wanted to see his reaction but he was really hesitant to give it to me. He asked me why I need it and if im planning on going through his things.

 

Things sort of escalated once he started acting weird about giving me his password. I then asked to let me see who he talks to if he has nothing to hide. He refused.He said he has nothing to hide and that it's a matter of principle. He said he did not want to give me his phone because I was demanding it. Later that night he messaged, apologizing saying how he reacted in a manner that was wrong and he understands why I'm upset.

 

He sent me screenshots of the people he does talk to me. But im having a hard time believing anything he says because how do I know he did not delete anything ? Why send it to me now when he refused to let me see it in person ?

 

Because the way you came across more then likely. Your not married yet. And yes it was a chit test in your part.

 

Just so you know, my wife uses my phone anytime she want to. She has the password and fingerprint both for mine.

[usa1ah]

I have been with my husband for over 27 years....I don't have his pw, nor do I look through his phone, monitor his social media, his computer, etc unless he gives me permission. I respect his privacy and I assume he respects mine. If I found out he was poking around in my stuff I would just lose it. IMO if you have to go through your SO phone or whatever, you shouldn't be in that relationship nor any other one if this is a habit.

 

You have no privacy smackie. We know all.

[BadLuckIGuess]

Hey. So my bf and I have been dating for a year now. Last night I asked him for his cell phone password. I had no intention of going through his phone, just wanted to see his reaction but he was really hesitant to give it to me. He asked me why I need it and if im planning on going through his things.

 

Things sort of escalated once he started acting weird about giving me his password. I then asked to let me see who he talks to if he has nothing to hide. He refused.He said he has nothing to hide and that it's a matter of principle. He said he did not want to give me his phone because I was demanding it. Later that night he messaged, apologizing saying how he reacted in a manner that was wrong and he understands why I'm upset.

 

He sent me screenshots of the people he does talk to me. But im having a hard time believing anything he says because how do I know he did not delete anything ? Why send it to me now when he refused to let me see it in person ?

 

For the time being, you have nothing against him. You have no proof. What you do have is probable cause to start digging. I'd be more vigilant if I were you, but no you don't have proof that he is cheating.