What is your opinion on interracial dating or marriage?

[Gaeta]

I am a white female of French Canadian heritage. My boyfriend is black from the Caribbean.

 

Our families do not have any problems with us. My family is from a very remote agricultural region and never interacted with black people before so my BF was a surprise to them but they adored him right away.

 

We are lucky to be Canadians. Since my BF lives here he doesn't have to deal with racism like he had to in Europe. We were suppose to travel to southern US but cancelled our trip. I fear traveling in the US these days with all that racist tension building up.

[Larryville]

One other thing I will add being someone that has participated in OLD for some time, the thing I notice is more and more women specifically putting in their profiles things like “I only date white men” or some reference that specifically tells black dude not to contact them.

 

The racism that is going on today is more clandestine. This is the thing that so many people don’t realize it is what is not said and the whispers going on behind the backs of any interracial couple.

 

I have never had an issue with the outspoken racists, skinheads and the other loudmouth types because at least I know where I stand with them. It is the people who smile, shake your hand and pretend to support you and like you when deep down they don’t.

[mikeylo]

Having said this, the bulk of the problems that a mixed couple will encounter will come from outside of the urelationship.

 

^^^ this.

 

Another would be language barrier across continents lol ! If you are multilingual then it's great and it gives an edge. You can swear in your mother tongue without your partner knowing what you are saying

[Got it]

Thanks everyone for your response and advise. I have one more question though. So my dad was saying in interracial marriages there is problems that you usually won't have if you marry the same race. Is this true?

 

I am in an inter racial marriage and I haven't seen any such problems. There may be traditions that slightly differ but for us it hasn't been anything of significance.

 

I grew up in a fairly diverse area and knew of many inter racial relationship even back in the 80s. So my family doesn't have an issue with anything nor does his family with me.

 

It is fun to learn about other's traditions, cultures, etc. and we just incorporate each's backgrounds into our marriage.

[anna121]

I'm of Indian origin and my husband is of English/Irish ancestry. But we are both pretty dyed-in-the-wool Canadians.

 

All but one of my relationships have been with white men. I dated an Indo-Carrbibean guy in college for a few years.

 

It has never been an issue. Not family-wise and certainly not in any of our social circles.

[BC1980]

Thanks everyone for your response and advise. I have one more question though. So my dad was saying in interracial marriages there is problems that you usually won't have if you marry the same race. Is this true?

 

Maybe. It probably depends a lot on where you live. I think most people don't have a problem with interracial dating and marriage in the US anymore. I say most people. Of course, some people still have a problem with it. I'm from the Southern US, and, when I was growing up, it was common thought that a white person dating a black person was anti-Christian. I'm no longer involved in the evangelical church, so I don't know if that is still common thought around here.

 

Anyway, I'm a white female, and I've never been attracted to an Asian guy or a black guy. I don't know why, but it's never happened. I don't have any problem with interracial dating because it's not my life. I certainly don't think there is anything immoral about it.

[BC1980]

Research indicates that women are far more likely to be racist than men in their dating preferences. As a minority, I've experienced this directly many times, and it can even be observed on this thread. On the other hand, men by and large don't really have any racial preferences in their dating partners. I like white girls, black, Asian, South Asian, Hispanic, Arab, whatever really. There are good-lookout girls from every race. In every race, good-looking people are a minority (da, I have met ugly Russian women). It's impossible to say you're "not really sexually attracted" to ethnicity X or Y without implicitly admitting that you think that ethnicity is ugly.

 

That's an interesting idea because I've never been attracted to an Asian guy or a black guy, but I don't think that Asian and black men are ugly. I certainly don't think they are less than me. I've also never been attracted to a white man who is shorter than me, but I don't think that those white men are ugly. I'm also not attracted to white men who are very muscly. Like body builders. You can't chose who you are attracted to, so I wonder what all of that means.

[lionlover1973]

It's impossible to say you're "not really sexually attracted" to ethnicity X or Y without implicitly admitting that you think that ethnicity is ugly.

 

That is one wild conclusion based on no fact whatsoever.

 

Opinion, not fact, and no one used the word 'ugly'.

 

Racism is the belief that an ethnicity is superior/inferior to another - it has nothing to do with attraction.

 

Gawd I hate when that card is thrown around so lightly. No one should have to defend who/what/when/or why as it pertains to sexual preference.

 

Now that that is out of the way,

 

So my dad was saying in interracial marriages there is problems that you usually won't have if you marry the same race. Is this true?

 

I know many interracial couples in my circle and they seem to be just fine. A friend's parents have been married for over 40 years. They are as happy as can be.

 

On the opposite spectrum,

 

My father was born in a country in the middle east - my mother was born in America and adopted a 'western view'. In father's society - they do not particularly 'cater' to women. And, father did not adopt nor express views of a 'Western' mindset initially.

 

A major factor that contributed to the demise of my parent's relationship ultimately ending in divorce. A therapist once told my mother "you can take the man out of the country, but you can't take the country out of the man".

 

So, idk.

[lionlover1973]

Imma move along now.

 

Yes, please do.

[sandylee1]

Thanks everyone for your response and advise. I have one more question though. So my dad was saying in interracial marriages there is problems that you usually won't have if you marry the same race. Is this true?

 

It depends on the situation and your dad could be right. I think as long as each of you will is to accepted by the other person family, it makes it so much easier.

 

I'm a black female and would not be happy if my children married outside our ethnicity and were not accepted by their in laws.

 

I want them to choose a husband /wife for who they are as a person and their qualities, but I don't want them being thought of as any less, because they're black.

 

Especially if their spouse is very weak in standing up to their parents.

[thefooloftheyear]

It's your life and free will allows all of us to do as we wish....I do think people get judged too harshly or immediately labeled racist if they don't necessarily agree with it...There are a variety of reason's one can frown on it, and not all of them are nefarious..

 

TFY

[Miss Peach]

I've been accursed of dating the UN. I've at least gone on a date with someone from most countries. Shortly before meeting my current BF I tried to date a black British man.

I have no issues with cross-cultural or interracial dating as long as compatibility and other important areas match up.

[spiderowl]

I think what matters is how the couple feel about each other. If they are happy with each other and support each other, I don't see any problem with interracial dating or marriage. Problems seem to arise when others feel they have a say - like family, friends, religious groups or society.