Xemyd Posted August 17, 2014 Posted August 17, 2014 Uhg... Starting to feel guilty about being on a dating site. I'm over you, it's been almost a year, why do I feel like this?
freebird31 Posted August 17, 2014 Posted August 17, 2014 Have reached new heights. everything happens for a reason, thats for sure. Growing mentally, physically and emotionally. I def have changed a whole bunch since last year. im different. way differnent. i ran into my once bff yesterday and i confronted her. I feel good. We left things at good terms. i dont think that we will be bffs again. but i feel better. I also met someone new...idk if i want to start dating. but we will see. if i do start dating again, i want to date someone who has goals and wants to grow mentally as well. someone that i can insipire and vice versa. life is finally good. although i do miss some things, i am coming to an understanding and acceptance that all these things have happened to shape me. I also have been going to the gym for 2 months now. always staying busy. I am nonstop. everyday, all day i seriously hustle. i never waste time. Im such a different person that who i once was. And i love it. I have so many goals, passion, and ambition. and i wont stop until i reach the top, maybe i will never stop !
Arient Posted August 17, 2014 Posted August 17, 2014 Cried yesterday night when going to sleep, which surprised me. Dreamt about him yesterday too. But at least, I don't feel that night crying or dreaming affect me that much the day after. Had a pretty okay day with my family, cleaning the house, and had a great shower time Gonna work on my side project tonight, and want to research on more things and plans. Still miss him though.
freebird31 Posted August 17, 2014 Posted August 17, 2014 Uhg... Starting to feel guilty about being on a dating site. I'm over you, it's been almost a year, why do I feel like this? It has been over a yr for me as well. Tbh, the feelings are still there. Want to know what made a huge impact on my progress getting over him? Focusing on myself. Focusing on my goals. Career goals/education goals. Fitness goals. Put your focus on something u may enjoy or want to achieve. I swear it has been life changing for me. I have been going consistently for two months to the gym now. Before I would find myself lingering on my ex. Now, I out so much of my energy on myself and these goals I have that my ex has faded out a lot. Of course I miss him. But I'm also better than ever.
todreaminblue Posted August 17, 2014 Posted August 17, 2014 today i am frustrated not with men or past men logn over that.....even men i have been out with....dont coem into my daily life really other than to talk to.... but coping with me me in general frustrated.....i I want to go walking...and i cant.....i want to walk at night but i cant.had some really bad night mares that have turned me chicken...so......tonight i am going to try.....to walk......regardless of fear......just had a sinking feeling then ........but i am going to try......psyche myself up......I have to try...i am always telling others to keep trying ...so going to put my money where my mouth is..or.....in my sock....smilin..wish me luck..ack....deb 1
furby58 Posted August 17, 2014 Posted August 17, 2014 Im okay i think ...anniversary date today , decided to keep my self busy this weekend and went to culinary school .still miss him at times.
Xemyd Posted August 17, 2014 Posted August 17, 2014 It has been over a yr for me as well. Tbh, the feelings are still there. Want to know what made a huge impact on my progress getting over him? Focusing on myself. Focusing on my goals. Career goals/education goals. Fitness goals. Put your focus on something u may enjoy or want to achieve. I swear it has been life changing for me. I have been going consistently for two months to the gym now. Before I would find myself lingering on my ex. Now, I out so much of my energy on myself and these goals I have that my ex has faded out a lot. Of course I miss him. But I'm also better than ever. I don't have feelings for him anymore, and the past two months I've barely thought about him. I think part of me just wishes I didn't have to restart the dating process. 1
todreaminblue Posted August 17, 2014 Posted August 17, 2014 I made it ...i walked in the night it is now mine again i am not afraid of the dark, i fear the people behind the shadows...... darkness is my blanket too, and i am tired of sharing the covers, the violet shadows are mine, the street lamps pale illumination is mine, the tall and stately pines are mine, the pier is mine with the water rippling, the fisherman are mine to watch them grappling, with hooks and sinkers. and the ebb of a lower than low tide..... the violet shadows my long lost friends have come back to color my world, my music takes me to the stars that litter the sky, last night a tiny shooting one made me smile when i looked up high so today, this morning and will be tonight, i am coping fine, because my darkness come the dark, i reclaimed and it is mine.......deborah
elseaacych Posted August 18, 2014 Posted August 18, 2014 Thankfully Drunk Elsea would rather post on LS than drunk call her ex. 1
whatsherface Posted August 18, 2014 Posted August 18, 2014 Accidentally saw your name on my Skype contact list. I should really delete you, but I still can't bring myself to do it. I miss you, I miss you. 1
Liverpool Bloke Posted August 18, 2014 Posted August 18, 2014 only a few weeks on,still can't get over the outrage over the way she treated me,I just hope I can stop wasting my brainpower on her soon,I just don't know how I can stop these irrational feelings.I suppose if I saw justice being done & she ends up suffering for what she did,I could feel more content but just want to forget her 100% now.Annoyed at my own brain for popping thoughts of her back into my head.
Itspointless Posted August 18, 2014 Posted August 18, 2014 I wish I could forget. I find it hard as she made me happier than I thought was possible, happier than the decade before. I find it difficult to accept that she just cant by nature.
Missredhead Posted August 18, 2014 Posted August 18, 2014 I feel like rubbish today. I feel broken, I want to stop crying. I don't want to feel so upset. I'm not coping. I just want him to come home.
somedude81 Posted August 18, 2014 Posted August 18, 2014 Wow, I had the most realistic dream about her. We had reconciled and I think we were living together or something. But at my grandmothers place for some reason. She's never been to my grandmothers house. Towards the end of the dream she said she was going to break up with me but this time she was actually giving me reasons why and telling me what she wanted to happen for her to stay with me. It was a light heart d conversation and we were having it in bed. She was on top of me but wearing pajamas and we were play wrestling. Eight and a half months since I last saw her. I miss her so much.
Liverpool Bloke Posted August 18, 2014 Posted August 18, 2014 I feel like rubbish today. I feel broken, I want to stop crying. I don't want to feel so upset. I'm not coping. I just want him to come home. Hope You feel better soon.Life is just too cruel sometimes.
Arient Posted August 19, 2014 Posted August 19, 2014 Feeling like I'm slowly moving backward. Maybe the changes I tried to put into my life and myself wore off and no longer enough to fill up the hole in my heart. I'd better make the list longer and start making the changes now So funny that yesterday, when going into the shower, I was about to cry and my mind was like "hey hey you", and I stopped, like a kid being scolded Just gain a little bit of control over my stubborn heart is really nice
Always Pondering Posted August 19, 2014 Posted August 19, 2014 I had some free time today and decided to read my journal word-for-word and all I could possibly say to myself is "wow". It was incredible, scary in a surprising way, and rather sad how I wrote back in the days. As I was flipping through the pages, I actually felt sorry for the person who I was. I felt such sadness in the words that I wrote, such anger and emotional instability. There were paragraphs where I just sat there staring at them and thinking to myself: "Is this REALLY what I said?" There were some ridiculous lines that I wrote such as "Listen to your heart and keep fighting for her" or "What have I got to lose by contacting her?" I just couldn't believe I was once this person filled with hate and sorrow. There were questions in that journal that I had thought would never be answered, only little did I know that I eventually discovered on my own why things came to be, why certain events happened. It felt nice reading the journal though and I'm glad I decided to use one during the rough times. I never really understood how much my view on things improved until I read it fully for the first time. It's further evidence to myself that things are fine now and I can breathe. Life has improved enormously and I'm quite excited actually as to what else it has to offer.
hedyo Posted August 19, 2014 Posted August 19, 2014 Day 26 since NC/BU. I'm still feeling pretty good, so long as I am not reminded in any way of my ex's existence. Fortunately, this is fairly easy to avoid. I'm really close to meeting my 30 day NC goal now. The days are flying by, and I don't see myself initiating contact when the 30 days are up. Part of me still thinks we gave up on the relationship too soon, but right now I need to prioritize the relationship I have with myself (wow, corny!). I've come too far and fought through too much pain to sabotage my healing process like that. I deserve someone who wants to be with me. 1
Arient Posted August 20, 2014 Posted August 20, 2014 I tested myself a little bit today by just reading about Sam Smith and Adele, the two great singers who turned their brokenhearted love stories into great albums. It's still too soon for me to listen again to "Someone like you", but at least I can still look at the lyrics and think about the melody, something I wouldn't dare thinking of out of the fear of torturing myself. It still hurts me, but hopefully someday, I can sing that song again without so much pain like now. Oh, and also Say Something too. Just think about that song, and the time when I listened to it on the last 24 hours being with him.... Better switch to some brighter things. Let's try, things will be fine, will be fine...
Gr4veyard Posted August 20, 2014 Posted August 20, 2014 It was really great for me to notice that I hadnt given a single thought to my ex for over 2 days. Its been something like 6 months since he left me. Anyhow I realised how my self-esteem is really shattered mostly because of him. Today I got rejected by a guy I had started to like and fell completely apart after that, crying and hating myself... Why am I this shy, why am I this stupid, why am I this ugly... Im not good enough for anyone
Arient Posted August 21, 2014 Posted August 21, 2014 It was really great for me to notice that I hadnt given a single thought to my ex for over 2 days. Its been something like 6 months since he left me. Anyhow I realised how my self-esteem is really shattered mostly because of him. Today I got rejected by a guy I had started to like and fell completely apart after that, crying and hating myself... Why am I this shy, why am I this stupid, why am I this ugly... Im not good enough for anyone Work on your self confidence first, after a BU, often, our self esteem got damaged after getting dumped, but just remember to yourself, it doesn't mean you're worthless just because someone no longer wants you in their life. It seems that what you should focus on now is building your confidence and loving yourself more, there's no one that is not good enough for anyone If someone rejected you, fine, it saved both people time and emotions, instead of being down and unconfident, get excited about the possible chances in the future instead 1
jallajalla08 Posted August 21, 2014 Posted August 21, 2014 Saw my ex out in public for the first time in six months last night. We both just smiled and said hello to each other. It looked like she maybe wanted to stop and chat, but I just kept on walking. A couple of months ago she started a fight with me over some rumours she had heard, and a few weeks ago I sent her a text on her birthday, but I did not get any response. So I figured that if she does not want to take the time to thank me for wishing her a happy birthday I'm not going to bother chatting with her when I meet her on the street. Do you guys agree...?
JDPT Posted August 21, 2014 Posted August 21, 2014 I'm pretty sure I saw her yesterday, who care anymore. She's utterly irrelevant. Why can't she just move to the antartic or something, meh. 1
moonlightpath Posted August 21, 2014 Posted August 21, 2014 I'm past the sad phase. Now I just feel angry and a bit annoyed. I finally sleep better at night. But my eating habits are still off. I reconnected a little with a couple of old friends. I went shopping the other day. Got a pedicure and my hair trimmed. Retail therapy helps.
barrelwave Posted August 21, 2014 Posted August 21, 2014 I think I'm bouncing between healing from complicated grief and acceptance, but I'm landing mostly on acceptance. I'm half and half about meeting new people, and just take a pause with this whole dating thing. It's been a year. I think... i'm making some progress. I actually broke no contact via email the other day, asking about her and the family. But I'm in no desperate need of a reply whatsoever.
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