Jewels7 Posted August 11, 2014 Posted August 11, 2014 I'm not coping well today. In fact I'm writing this while I lay in bed. He's on a dating website. Just a month ago he begged for me back and now he is looking for someone new. How can he just get over me so fast?! I know I left him but I still love him. I hurt when I was with him and I hurt when I'm not. Which is the better evil?
dumbass2 Posted August 11, 2014 Posted August 11, 2014 I'm not coping well today. In fact I'm writing this while I lay in bed. He's on a dating website. Just a month ago he begged for me back and now he is looking for someone new. How can he just get over me so fast?! I know I left him but I still love him. I hurt when I was with him and I hurt when I'm not. Which is the better evil? Because he's on a dating website doesn't always mean what you might think, trust me, I've been dealing with this during and after I was broke up with. It is a way with dealing with stuff. I'll bet it safe to say that the majority of people on these sites have just gotten out of a relationship and not had time to heal and are looking for a quick fix and i'm sure a lot are on there still in relationship and just looking for the attention (though maybe something a lot better may pop up). I jumped back on right away to try and get over my ex. I shouldn't have done that. It is not the healthiest way to deal with what has just happened. 1
Jewels7 Posted August 12, 2014 Posted August 12, 2014 Because he's on a dating website doesn't always mean what you might think, trust me, I've been dealing with this during and after I was broke up with. It is a way with dealing with stuff. I'll bet it safe to say that the majority of people on these sites have just gotten out of a relationship and not had time to heal and are looking for a quick fix and i'm sure a lot are on there still in relationship and just looking for the attention (though maybe something a lot better may pop up). I jumped back on right away to try and get over my ex. I shouldn't have done that. It is not the healthiest way to deal with what has just happened. Thank you. This does make me feel better. I'm definitely trying to avoid dating anyone right now and it was just so painful to see his profile (I decided to Google his name so that's how I found it. Bad idea) I also know I shouldn't care if he gets with someone else because he lied to me and was abusive in certain ways but it still kills me and I don't know if I can get through this.
Arient Posted August 12, 2014 Posted August 12, 2014 Today is a bad day. Busy, tired, and at the end of the day, felt so damn bad. Two friends paid a visit, and unknowingly reminded me again about the wedding at the end of the month. That couple met almost at the same time as us. They even showed me the picture of the baby, I was supposed to have one like that if things turned out differently between us. I hurted me too much, and made me miss him too much that I must have smiled very painfully at that time. Even mom has sheds of sadness in her eyes while looking at the baby picture. Two stories, such different endings. But tomorrow is a new day, so I have to be tough! Going to try my best! I wanna shove this pile of sadness away!!!!
Mary Oak Posted August 12, 2014 Posted August 12, 2014 Today sucks. Today hurts. Today has brought tears and many memories. Today has been not good for me. So, how am I coping... the best I can, and I just hope tomorrow will be better. 2
sleepycat Posted August 12, 2014 Posted August 12, 2014 Robin Williams death and the resulting discussions on depression have opened old wo unds, there were other contributing factors to why we broke up but I wish I had been more understanding of his depression. 1
edgygirl Posted August 13, 2014 Posted August 13, 2014 (edited) Just bumped into my ex-husband today. For the first time in 5 years. Do I deserve all this? Ugh. Last thing I wanted to happen right after my recent breakup as I'm on the fragile side these days. It's funny how I always imagined when and how me bumping into him was going to happen. But of course it happened differently than I had imagined. I always thought we'd meet in the subway. For a few years I looked around every train station stop in the hope to see him. But I only saw him today, when I don't even care anymore, on a busy city street. I thought I'd bump into him with a new gf but he was with colleagues I guess. I'm glad it only happened now that I'm over the whole thing. I'll be honest, it took me years and it traumatized me in a sense. He was very polite and gracious. And confident. Very outspoken which is not how I remember him. I was sleepy. Luckily I think I looked great. But most of all it felt as if a day hasn't passed since we were together. We work in the same block now, I think. Guess it can happen again. What do you say in these moments? You can't bring up any hurt from the past, that's for sure. But it's probably there in the background which makes the whole thing feel weird. I extended my hand saying 'I guess we will be seeing each other around' (as we work close by). He hugged me instead. Oh my... I know you guys will understand the feeling. Edited August 13, 2014 by edgygirl 1
Cupid's Puppet Posted August 13, 2014 Posted August 13, 2014 Well I sure could use a hug from someone. I wouldn't care if it was an ex. 1
Cupid's Puppet Posted August 13, 2014 Posted August 13, 2014 I coping from the loss of a best friend now, not a bf. This is so much worse not having anyone to go to. Anyone that can help and cheer me up. This is something I have to do by myself with no one else. It sucks because I am such an introvert and have no other close friends. I put so much effort into our friendship I never thought I'd need anyone else. Now I know never to get too invested because not everyone will feel the same. We are at different places in our life I must assume that is why this is all happening. She would never have gotten so upset at me for something like this. I thought I was alone before but now this is the true test of being alone. Really having no one to turn to. I am in the same boat. My ex was like my only friend. He was the only one to hang with me on my birthday. All my adventures were with him. I never tried to make friends. He was all the friend I needed. Now I am forced to make friends at my age and never really learned how. I guess that is the good out of this. I hate loneliness so I have to finally force myself to get a social life with *gasp* other females. 1
sickoflove11 Posted August 13, 2014 Posted August 13, 2014 I feel a bit better today... I'm not sure why I'm feeling over my best friend of 5 years quicker than I got over my ex of half that time. Maybe out of sight out of mind really is playing a role here? I'm sure it will hit me hard another night but I don't deserve the way she treats me. I don't need her and her double standards. I will make new friends in time.
moonlightpath Posted August 13, 2014 Posted August 13, 2014 I coping from the loss of a best friend now, not a bf. This is so much worse not having anyone to go to. Anyone that can help and cheer me up. This is something I have to do by myself with no one else. It sucks because I am such an introvert and have no other close friends. I put so much effort into our friendship I never thought I'd need anyone else. Now I know never to get too invested because not everyone will feel the same. We are at different places in our life I must assume that is why this is all happening. She would never have gotten so upset at me for something like this. I thought I was alone before but now this is the true test of being alone. Really having no one to turn to. I am in the EXACT same boat!
whatsherface Posted August 13, 2014 Posted August 13, 2014 7 months. I still miss him a lot. I've been dreaming about him again. Each time I dream about him, he tells me he misses me and wants to get back together. But even in my dreams, some kind of obstacle stands in our way and we never manage to be together. This is so messed up. When does it get easier guys? If he wanted to get back together, I'd still say yes in a heartbeat.
Mary Oak Posted August 13, 2014 Posted August 13, 2014 Yesterday sucked. Cried. A lot. Today, so far, has been a plethora of emotions. One second, tears come to my eyes. Then the next I am pretty pissed off. I think this is really the first time I have felt mad. I don't think I ever got mad because she really didn't do anything wrong. I pushed her away and I have been dealing with that for the last two years. But, you know... she could have spoken up and communicated with me. To let me know where she stood. The day before she said we would never be apart. I know this is the exact same as everyone's story, except we all think ours is special. It's not. She told me the same things.. in fact, the night she left, she said, go fix you and I will be back. I believed her... for a LONG time. I don't anymore. Those are things that make me angry. She had no right to hurt me like that after almost eight years. It wasn't that she didn't love me. It was that I didn't treat her like I should have. I had become complacent. Unknowing to us both, I had major depression disorder and general anxiety disorder. ( I was diagnosed in therapy after she left) Anyways, I am mad she left and I am mad she seems happy without me. She even told me that the grass wasn't greener... just different. Well, I don't see you knocking on my door wanting me back. I know this is all over the place, I guess my point is... I am kinda angry today. ANd i even feel guilty for feeling that. I see these posts about people who have been broken up for a few months and they are moved on. WHy can't that be me? Today is our dogs birthday. Maybe that is a trigger too.. who knows.
Arient Posted August 13, 2014 Posted August 13, 2014 Another bad day For a month, I think I'm getting better, cried less, but today, doom! The sadness surged back. Cried. Cried. Cried a lot. Felt angry, but this time, not with myself, but with him! I felt so angry. How come he just drop it so easily like that? Just because it's getting difficult, feelings get lower, and then, boom, "I think we should break up"? WTF???!!! After so many things we've been through, and most of the time, with me fighting by actually DOING something when he was just sitting on your a**, waiting and claiming that he was cooperating as hell? But why the f*** that I still love him this much? To the point that I'm feeling so sad and guilty when I'm writing all TRUE bad things about him. But I seriously am tired. I just want all those stupid things and pain go away. Go away!!! I have been in god damn so much pain, but if it takes double of this pain to get him back, the silly current me still wants to endure. However, he chose to endure the pain of the break up rather than take the courage to try and fix things, so I guess the 'estimated' pain in his mind is not that much = his love is not that much! I'm going to use this formula to stick my mind to, to start to erase the impact he's still having on me. F*** you, dove!
hedyo Posted August 13, 2014 Posted August 13, 2014 Day 20 since BU/NC. I actually feel pretty great today! I'm beginning to feel like my old self again. I'm starting to enjoy the things I used to enjoy, and I can spend time alone without feeling lonely. Accidentally seeing signs of the ex online (on forums, I don't check his Facebook etc) still makes me feel sick, but I'm getting good at avoiding this. I do feel sad and miss him now and then, but I'm sure I'll meet someone who's a better match for me eventually. This is the first time I've severed contact straight after a break-up, and I have to say that it feels like a miracle cure! I'm 100% sure I'd be a complete mess if we were still talking. This way, I've managed to keep my dignity, and I'm healing way faster than usual.
sickoflove11 Posted August 13, 2014 Posted August 13, 2014 I am in the EXACT same boat! I'm sorry you are going through this also. I hope things work out for you. I'm just trying to think out of sight out of mind, as hard as it is. Maybe that will help you also. 1
moonlightpath Posted August 13, 2014 Posted August 13, 2014 Feel like crying once in a while. Also been feeling lazy. I've been on my laptop most of the day. I only had 5hrs of sleep last night. I ate lunch today. And drank a lot of coffee.
elseaacych Posted August 13, 2014 Posted August 13, 2014 I've had a rough go at it since I found out Robin Williams committed suicide. My ex is bipolar, and when we were together, we sometimes talked about how others with bipolar disorder/depression coped with their lives. Williams was one of the "good examples". Since then, I've been wanting to reach out to my ex just to see how he's doing, and to talk to him because he seemed to "understand" what it is like to deal. It sucks to know that love alone is not enough. And it wasn't enough for us.
Arient Posted August 15, 2014 Posted August 15, 2014 I'm feeling quite good today, especially tonight, after reading the replies to my thread on loveshack I surely still miss him sometimes tonight, but the images of him did not bite my heart tonight. I feel fresh. I have plenty of plans I wanna do. I have so much more waiting for me to explore them ahead And I still can see my ex standing at one point of my future plan, but at least, that doesn't seem to prevent me from moving on with my life or preparing to open up to new love. 1
Xemyd Posted August 15, 2014 Posted August 15, 2014 Doing good. Spent the night with a friend watching movies, playing with her 3 kittens. She even convinced me that I should give online dating another shot, a real shot. Best way to move on.... Play with kittens!! 1
hellischrome Posted August 16, 2014 Posted August 16, 2014 Medicines kicked in so I slept 8 hours - woke up at 7am and went for breakfast with a friend and his dog (it's been only 3 days since the broke up so whatever I eat I feel sick but I am forcing myself). Went back home and slept until 2pm, then went to a guy's place - I know him through our sport club, we are not friends but he offered to make me lunch, spent 2 hours there and now I am on the couch, on a Saturday night, outside is raining and I am waiting for pizza delivery. But I didn't cry today and I didn't contact him. Tomorrow I am going to the movies. I'm gonna be fine.
Ajen Posted August 16, 2014 Posted August 16, 2014 (edited) I feel sad and like I want to cry. This is my 3rd day of NC and I don't think he'll come back. I just wish this feeling would go away. I'm trying to keep myself occupied but that doesn't seem to be working at the moment. I think I just have to ride this out and hope for the best. On the upside I don't want to message him which I think is a positive thing. I did have a dream about him last night, I vaguely remember it. I had a status up of moving on or something on fb in my dream and he liked it. Maybe he's happy I'm not contacting him anymore?...I dunno. Kinda hope he's thinking of me tho. Edited August 16, 2014 by Ajen
moonlightpath Posted August 16, 2014 Posted August 16, 2014 Not a good day. Yesterday was going great. I didn't cry or feel hopeless. But everything changed when he contacted me yesterday.
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