freebird31 Posted July 30, 2014 Posted July 30, 2014 I honestly don't care anymore about my ex anymore. I don't mean that I do not care for him I just don't care anymore what happens with him. I'm pretty much over him. Of course this will change if I ever see him again or talk to him feelings may come back. But I've been going to the gym for almost 2 months now consistently I have set huge goals for myself . This is the best I have felt is so long. It took me sooo long to get here and I'm finally FINALLY at a solid and stable place in my life. Things are looking so bright. Word of advice for those still hurting...find something that you love or that you want to improve . Set a goal! I can't stress this enough. Put your focus on this. Once you start seeing results of this goal whether it be a fitness goal or academic goal or whatever goal. Maybe even a goal like accomplishing something u have never done before. This will build your self confidence!!! I seriously advise this. When you start building your self confidence and gain higher self esteem u seriously feel so good about yourself that your ex doesn't even matter anymore. I honestly could care less about what happens with my ex anymore. I don't even want a boyfriend. I'm so in love with how much i am improving myself . I have discovered so many positive things about myself all just by trying new things and testing my limits...I have such a long and progressive way to go still. I can't wait! Seriously. Find something that intrigues you. Hit the gym. Lift some heavy sh$& . Focus on where u want to be in 5 months . Do this. It will help u.
freebird31 Posted July 30, 2014 Posted July 30, 2014 You were everything to me. It is hard to imagine that after you meaning so much to me for so long (2 years now) I have finally set u free!!! I am free from u. I don't need u like I used to really need u. I will always have a very special place in my heart for u, my first love. You have helped me to shape my values and were a part of who I am because of the breakup. You meant the world to me you were my everything. But you are no longer my everything...I have everything I need right here. And I'm finally content! I do not wish to have any negative feelings for u!!! I will never forget u but u no longer have a hold on me!!! Sincerely , your ex girlfriend. The girl who loved u so much.
Jupiter1111 Posted July 30, 2014 Posted July 30, 2014 Today is going ok, it's usually the day we would see each other so a wed is always a bit hard, I'm just trying not to think abt her even though it's tough but, just have to keep going.......
Xemyd Posted July 30, 2014 Posted July 30, 2014 I made a friend. I haven't really had friends for about 5 years, and I think because I've been going out and doing things with this girl, especially things I normally would never have thought to do, it's making it so much easier to get over my ex. I'm doing good. I'm actually pretty happy lately. I never needed him to be happy.
Thegreatestthing Posted July 31, 2014 Posted July 31, 2014 Not good,things with the new guy ended therefore my desire to contact ex is at all time high ,I've already contacted him twice to no reply and don't seem to get it that he is gone,just hearing from him,just one email would make me feel on top of the world,I don't know how people can do this.
sunshine15 Posted July 31, 2014 Posted July 31, 2014 Today Im feeling a little bit better. I mean, I still think about him everyday, but not as much. Its day 5 of NC... Sometimes when I think of him, theres a pit in my stomach... a horrible pit... and I miss him terribly... sometimes i just feel numb... I want to get out of this pit hole...
whatsherface Posted July 31, 2014 Posted July 31, 2014 Just now I went on Facebook to message one of my friends and I saw his name on the chat sidebar. He was online. Okay Facebook WTF?! I haven't talked to him for months, why is he still listed there? I thought only people you frequently talk to are listed there. Not gonna lie, after almost 7 months, my heart still stops and my blood still thickens when I see his name. I hate this. I hate this so much. I miss him to the point where it sickens me. I want to throw up. I would still kill to be held in his arms again. Gah. Where did all my progress go? This sucks. He still runs through my mind 24 hours a day. What's wrong with me? Why am I not over him yet?
Shields boy Posted July 31, 2014 Posted July 31, 2014 Was doing good as the pain and anxiety in the heart was going away. The acceptance stage that I've lost her was sinking in. Last night i kept saying that woman is as good as dead to me and it made me sleep easy. I re-activated my Facebook page, just to get rid of all chat convos and pictures that I have been tagged with her. I felt I best do it now because I will be leaving town in a few weeks and will not want it to set me back if I left it till a few months time. I must say this has taken me a step backwards. Don't check their Facebook or anything. Stay well clear people.
moonlightpath Posted July 31, 2014 Posted July 31, 2014 Day 2. I'm very in a bad mood. Only sleep for 6hrs last night. Only had one meal yesterday. A small one. I feel lonely. If anyone wants to talk feel free to send a message! I'm here for anyone!
hedyo Posted July 31, 2014 Posted July 31, 2014 Day 7. I felt good this morning, having met up with some coworkers who are on vacation last night. It made things feel a bit more normal to see them again. I started feeling worse as the day went on, though, and went back into obsessive how-can-I-get-him-back-mode. Didn't crumble, but started feeling physical symptoms of anxiety - heart palpitations, shortness of breath, etc. Went to the gym and did 7k on the treadmill, which made me feel a little better. Feeling a little lost this evening because my "support network" are busy/tired and I have no one to talk to. I want to talk to him, but I know it would only make things worse, so I won't. He's having a party tomorrow, and part of me is hoping he'll drunk-dial. Really pathetic, especially since I know deep down that's not going to happen.
elseaacych Posted August 1, 2014 Posted August 1, 2014 I f-cking hate dating. I had a perfectly pleasant date with a nice guy. Didn't think about my ex the whole time. Date ended. No Kiss. No hug. No nothing. I mean, I don't want to act like I am entitled to it, I'd rather have no physical contact as opposed to an awkward hug any day. But still. I really miss the closeness of having someone you know and love. But hell, he isn't my ex. So I guess he's got that going for him.
BridgetGrey Posted August 1, 2014 Posted August 1, 2014 I accepted things , but I think in order to forget I need to stop checking on FB and twitter and from today I'm doing this no FB or Twitter muted and unfollowed the ex. I'm going a rough family time and I concluded that I can't have my ex even if he cares. It's going to bring up old feelings of you did this and I said that and the best way is to drift apart.
edgygirl Posted August 1, 2014 Posted August 1, 2014 (edited) I have also accepted... I think. I hate him for being able to let us go. I know I initiated it, but I would never follow through with breaking up. But yes... I now kind of accept... accept it's over. Still. I f-ing miss him. The way I miss him has changed. I don't miss him with a pain on my gut or despair anymore. I just miss being around him. Hanging out with him. Looking into his eyes. I miss those first seconds when we would meet for a date, look at each other and smile because it made us happy to see each other. Edited August 1, 2014 by edgygirl
edgygirl Posted August 1, 2014 Posted August 1, 2014 I don't understand how I was relatively well for 2 months and am breaking down today, two months post breakup. I think I'm realizing it's really hard to find someone to connect with. What we had is not easily found out there :/ Is he feeling the same? Probably not
hockeydan Posted August 1, 2014 Posted August 1, 2014 It was a really rough day today. I am currently living at my parent's house waiting for a job to start back in the city where she lives. My things are still there and I need to move them out of our apartment before September 4th when she ends our lease and moves out. I found out today that my job is going to take longer than expected to start, in fact there is no time table at all. So now I need to drive back (2 day drive) and move my things out and put them in storage and then drive back (2 more days drive) to where I am at now. My unemployment ran out as well, so I am in desperate need of a job at this time. Dealing with the financial difficulties as well as the breakup has just beat me down, this is definitely the lowest I have ever been in my whole life. But there is nowhere to go but up, right? One of these days something is going to workout on the work or relationship front, it just seems like I have no control over it now. I contacted her today to let her know the status of my job and that I am considering driving there to get my things in a few days. It was really hard on me to talk to her. I miss her so much, a part of me hopes she has changed her mind, but it never happens. I guess she is fine without me in her life.
music_and_poetry Posted August 1, 2014 Posted August 1, 2014 It's going to be a rough weekend. Plans got cancelled and I feel like a loser. I'm going to take the weekend to reorganize and clean my room. I really want pizza. I don't want to gain 300 lbs though *sigh* Treated myself to a little retail therapy today. Bought the most ADOREABLE belly dancing skirts/scarves and I'm excited to wear them to dance class. I have to say my dance lessons are one of the great things I really love about losing you. Also my band, we have a gig for September! We're brainstorming cover songs and I'm pretty psyched. I still miss you and that's really lame. Why are you such a butthead? You're out tonight playing Magic the Gathering. How do I know this? Because that's what you ALWAYS do on Friday nights. I don't even have to ask. Maybe my Friday at home isn't so bad after all
Lolalo Posted August 2, 2014 Posted August 2, 2014 I'm stuck in today waiting for someone to collect a piece of furniture. I want to just jump in my car and drive and drive and drive. Anything to get him and all thoughts of him out of my head. It's driving me crazy thinking about the new girl he is going to meet and spoil and treat like a princess. Getting over a decent guy who just fell out of love with me is worse than any other break up I've experienced. I'm not better off without him, I don't deserve better, there wasn't anythig I can tap in to to hate him... I hate my mind right now.
BridgetGrey Posted August 2, 2014 Posted August 2, 2014 I don't understand how I was relatively well for 2 months and am breaking down today, two months post breakup. I think I'm realizing it's really hard to find someone to connect with. What we had is not easily found out there :/ Is he feeling the same? Probably not yeah I broke down every now and then. Sigh this bond we had an ex was special and we feel it will not be formed again with someone else I feel ya. To be honest though I don't think my bond with my ex will be the same we may remain friendly not take each other off FB or twitter , but it's like the shadow of our relationship is always hanging what he said and what I said... Even though I accepted what things came to was out of our control, yet I do believe we need to drift apart 100% for next months because being friends a month or two post breakup is not gonna work.
BridgetGrey Posted August 2, 2014 Posted August 2, 2014 I guess as I said I reached the stage of accepting what went down. I also came to terms that I made the mistake of getting too attached to a person who was never going to be 100% mine. I guess I need the experience and maybe I needed all of this pain to know to never get invested in him again.The truth as much as I did love the magic of when we first got together but it was the honeymoon base when he finally had me more than a friend and when he was missing his student life. However, after reality kicked in we weren't strong enough to handle it times passed by and the relationship became so disconnected. He wasn't willing to comprise or fight for us. I know one day I will be fine whatever I meet someone or achieve joy in other areas. I do try to remind myself when I look back it that yes while there was good times, but the bad times overshadowed it and that we wouldn't be happy even if were together because each of us has a different path.
Xemyd Posted August 2, 2014 Posted August 2, 2014 I am furious today! But not because of my ex. My soon-to-be place of unemployment has made me look like the bad guy yet again! Thankfully, I haven't resorted to my angry "I wish my ex was here so I could rant" mind frame, instead I'm ranting here. 1
BridgetGrey Posted August 3, 2014 Posted August 3, 2014 He reached out to me. He could have had his differently since it was for his sister not him. I can tell he may miss my presence in his life somehow and he is under the question of is she not gonna talk to me ever again? lol funny
freebird31 Posted August 3, 2014 Posted August 3, 2014 Maybe it's best that he broke it off. Because I would have never. I loved him too much I would have never left him. Maybe it's supposed to be this way. Even tho I get lonely sometimes and miss him sometimes. Maybe there is someone better. And I wouldn't know unless he broke it off. But what purpose did he serve in my life ? ;/ why do some ppl suffer from heartbreak and others do not. Others get lucky finding the right person on their first try. 1
hedyo Posted August 3, 2014 Posted August 3, 2014 Day 10. I still have moments of extreme sadness and longing, but I'm doing a lot better than I was a week ago. I feel I've handled the break-up pretty well, both taking the rejection with a reasonable amount of dignity, and taking steps to be kind to myself and improve my life. My feelings for him are still so strong that I know deep down if he comes back any time soon, I'd give him another chance (against my better judgement, as I think he has some serious problems). However, I can also see myself meeting someone new when I'm ready, and having a more loving and less complicated relationship than I could with my ex. This break-up will doubtless cause me pain for some time to come, but I am confident now that I will heal and move on, rather than obsess about this for an unhealthy length of time. 1
Itspointless Posted August 3, 2014 Posted August 3, 2014 (edited) I feel much better than a few months ago and I am thankful for that. Nevertheless she still is on my mind every day. I never though that in only two decades illness would mess up my life twice. First time with death and the second time an dismissive-avoidant who got ill. The combination of a fairly new relation, illness and dismissive-avoidant attachment still feels like some kind of sick joke. So you thought you found someone sweet who is very much into you Nope, surprize stress makes her avoidant and dismissive. What a lesson. Edited August 3, 2014 by Itspointless
music_and_poetry Posted August 3, 2014 Posted August 3, 2014 6 weeks NC. Today I went for a 5 mile run and burned 758 calories according to my HRM! I came home and made the most amazing smoked Gouda, basil, and tomato sandwich and took an ice cold shower! Today is one of those lazy days where I have no plans but I just feel good in general. I can tell I'm becoming stronger physically and maybe emotionally too. I am becoming more and more determined to come out on top with each passing day. No sense in wallowing in pity and regret forever. I'm now being productive and doing some laundry while I clean my bedroom. I should be having a slumber party with a friend next Friday and I'm stoked! Yes I'm still sad about the way things went, hell, I'm still angry at him but I'm beginning to feel better about myself knowing that my life is about to become wonderful and I don't need him to be happy
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