EmbeddedCortex Posted July 21, 2014 Posted July 21, 2014 Was feeling good and fresh today. Then I took the step of digging out her number out of my old phone. Dialling it once, blocking her number then deleting it. I now feel very sad after I have done that. I never thought I would block someone I love but ignorance is bliss. No point going through life hoping she will call again someday. I feel it's a tragic end to 15 years worth of history of deep love, heartbreak, pain and destruction. Childhood sweethearts who could have easily spent the rest of their lives together, but the path of destiny would not allow it. I'm blocked and she is blocked haha. Onwards and upwards as they say after I have had a little cry. Peace. 15 years?! Marriage? I'm crying over my ex of 2 years (22) who left me (27) because I wasn't doing enough to make her happy. She left me and then jumped into a relationship with a new guy (25) she met on Tinder a few days later and now they're together. Btw, I learned these facts from calling her back after a month of NC, because she texted me saying she loved me and missed me and was sorry. It was just a trap to make her feel free of guilt. Now I'm miserable. 1
Shields boy Posted July 21, 2014 Posted July 21, 2014 embeddedcortex: Ha no not married although we were engaged. I was with her for 9 years from the age of 15. She has been out my life for 6. It's a long story and I made a thread about it a few weeks ago. I know how you feel. I had a nervous breakdown when I realised I lost her to someone else. She too rang me up and said she loved and missed me but her current boyfriend makes her happy. Told me they were going to get engaged and try for a baby next year. I cried for 7 months. That's exactly what she did: she went all the ****ing way with the rebound. It took me 2 years and 3 months too recover They split up before she had the baby. Then 6 months latter the scrub came crawling back to me and pestered me for 2 years begging for me to take her back. I obviously could not accept it and was disgusted with her to be honest. Suppose I'm just trying to say that some rebounds do not work and your girl may come crawling back one day. Make sure you have a better girl under your arm if she does.
EmbeddedCortex Posted July 21, 2014 Posted July 21, 2014 embeddedcortex: Ha no not married although we were engaged. I was with her for 9 years from the age of 15. She has been out my life for 6. It's a long story and I made a thread about it a few weeks ago. I know how you feel. I had a nervous breakdown when I realised I lost her to someone else. She too rang me up and said she loved and missed me but her current boyfriend makes her happy. Told me they were going to get engaged and try for a baby next year. I cried for 7 months. That's exactly what she did: she went all the ****ing way with the rebound. It took me 2 years and 3 months too recover They split up before she had the baby. Then 6 months latter the scrub came crawling back to me and pestered me for 2 years begging for me to take her back. I obviously could not accept it and was disgusted with her to be honest. Suppose I'm just trying to say that some rebounds do not work and your girl may come crawling back one day. Make sure you have a better girl under your arm if she does. Wow. Just wow. Honestly, that is my #1 worry. As much as I want her back right now, I know my brain will fix itself and I will think clearly to avoid making any stupid decisions. Btw, this new 25 year old guy....he has a 2 year old kid. She literally jumped into a relationship with a guy she had sex with the first night of in person meeting, after 3 days of online talking. Her breakup with me made no sense in terms of long term potential, she loved me like crazy and I'm going to grad school. New guy works on an Army base or something and she says she doesn't "feel" it yet. But he has his own place (I don't) and he follows her anywhere she wants, cooks for her, and sleeps in her bed (I couldn't). Eh, hopefully they'll get married or stay together for a few years. I mostly feel sorry for the kid if something bad happens.
Shields boy Posted July 21, 2014 Posted July 21, 2014 embeddedcortex: Haha this is creepy mate. I'm seeing and predicting similarities here with my story. I was away at university at the time. I think that is the UK version of Grad school. Girls don't care about long term potential. They need to be loved here and now. Please take my advice as I can really relate to your situation. Just forget about her. Let go and move on. Go to grad school and make the most of it. I bet there will be loads of great girls there aswell. I guarantee you will meet someone better. Just don't be in a rush to do so.
EmbeddedCortex Posted July 21, 2014 Posted July 21, 2014 embeddedcortex: Haha this is creepy mate. I'm seeing and predicting similarities here with my story. I was away at university at the time. I think that is the UK version of Grad school. Girls don't care about long term potential. They need to be loved here and now. Please take my advice as I can really relate to your situation. Just forget about her. Let go and move on. Go to grad school and make the most of it. I bet there will be loads of great girls there aswell. I guarantee you will meet someone better. Just don't be in a rush to do so. Almost done with grad school. One semester left. Which also made it weirder that she left and jumped to this new guy. She ripped a whole both of us, and filled hers with some new guy who she feels is way better than me. As you said, she doesn't care about long term potential, she cares about instant gratification...everything she wants, right now, which currently is someone who she can basically live with and will be nice to her. I couldn't live with her, and our family cultures were different. I'm trying to move on...
Arient Posted July 23, 2014 Posted July 23, 2014 Officially break up 4 months ago, finally hit the finality and cut off contact for 1 month. Broke it 1 week ago. Received such a nice letter from his family and cried a lot yesterday. Back to NC again, day 1. Feel hopeless about whether I will be able to love again, miss him like hell. Feel so scared of waking up, hurt me every day.
JimmyWeezy Posted July 23, 2014 Posted July 23, 2014 I'm upset..... He is telling a mutual friends things that annoyed him about me, as if he was trying to find as many reasons as he can to justify why he dumped me. Is it normal? Have your dumpers done the same? It kinda hurts because i did have issues of my own (no car, no job) but I was a hella great partner. He might have had things i didn't, but he was not a good partner at all. So what's the point? It doesn't make sense And if these things really bothered him, he could have brought them up instead of talking them once and then pretending as if everything was cool. I honestly am HURT.
iheartgoodmusic Posted July 23, 2014 Posted July 23, 2014 When you begin to get back to yourself and no longer holding on to hope. That is when they pop back up. I know he is no good. I know information. Looking forward to a relationship with him is very unrealistic.
Shields boy Posted July 24, 2014 Posted July 24, 2014 what a battle. Strange things are the feelings of emotions and love. Kind of doing a lot of reflection and evaluating the theories of "moving-on" and "letting go". I suppose they are two different concepts in their own right. I Mean I did "move-on" from her but I suppose deep inside I never truly "let go" of her in my heart and soul. She was always lingering in the back of my mind and current events have just made me go "whoosh" and now I'm thinking of her all the time, alongside my actions of the past 3 years. I suppose I will naturally let go of her when I meet and fall in love with someone else. When that day arrives I will be very happy. I'm in no hurry though and will let destiny lead my path.
Missy0724 Posted July 24, 2014 Posted July 24, 2014 I'm having a hard day. Went to bed sad, crying. Woke up angry, wrote down all the things he lied to me about, withheld from me. Feel so lied to, manipulated. Mad and pissed at myself for getting into and remaining with someone who acts as if he's changed, puts on a great show, but he LIED to me about so many things. NC for one week has allowed me to see clearly and remember all the little signs, strange things he said for 9 months...His actions did not match up with the words, I love you, I'm in love with you. And I stayed. SO SO pissed at myself. The day he told me he didn't see a future with me, I should have walked. What was I doing??? He needed "more time". For what??? And I'm a strong woman! So I thought. So much healing to do. So angry at myself and him. I can't believe I fell for his charms, thinking he'd changed. He's a recovering alcoholic, addict, manipulator. No boundaries. He didn't even cry when he broke up with me. And two weeks later, we are trying to be "friends", and he's so happy and cheerful. Because he has a date. WTF. Goodbye. Started NC right then and there. What I fool I was. Having hard hard time forgiving myself. I'm so down in the dumps. Not even about him anymore, more about myself. What an idiot I was !!! 1
love1336x Posted July 24, 2014 Posted July 24, 2014 Today I'm not a power trip feeling all wonderful and what not. I feel uneasy and a little bit sad. I'm proud of myself the fact I kept NC for so long. But, I can't shake off this empty feeling for him. Things happen for a reason I guess.
True Gent Posted July 24, 2014 Posted July 24, 2014 I think today and lately I've been coping in an awesome way! Feel good about myself, really good. I'm actually reaching a point where i don't give her much thought now. I also don't care or think about what she's doing. I also believe I'm the one who's better off. So yeah I can say I'm coping very well at last!
iheartgoodmusic Posted July 24, 2014 Posted July 24, 2014 I'm feeling normal today. The more I reflect, the more I realize that I have no reason to come down hard on myself. I was an awesome partner. He is a liar and things were catching up with him. He has a big mess to worry about. I am free. 3
Omei Posted July 24, 2014 Posted July 24, 2014 Weird, im trying to let go of the past and my hurt for good its hard.
JimmyWeezy Posted July 24, 2014 Posted July 24, 2014 Leaving in 9 days, no return. So I'm gonna leave all this BS behind me, start a new life and get away from here and from him. Adios!!!!!
hockeydan Posted July 24, 2014 Posted July 24, 2014 Broken up for 1 month and 8 days. Limited contact (business only) for about 2 weeks now. I have had a rough last 3 days, its been hard to sleep at night and mornings are rough. I am still unemployed (have a job, but it hasn't started yet, can't find temp work) so my distractions are limited currently. I also miss our dog, I have been thinking about asking to take her with me when I move back to her state to pick up my stuff and move into a different apartment. Tomorrow scares me. It's my birthday and I am afraid she is going to say something. I want to hear from her, but I also don't want the temptation to break NC. I had a dream the other night that she flew out here to get back together as a birthday present of sorts. What a mean ass dream if you ask me, the brain has its ways of torturing you. One day at a time.
todreaminblue Posted July 24, 2014 Posted July 24, 2014 feel wistful...feel like dancing......lovin music........feel dreamy.......feel sad.....feel happy......feel hopeful......most of all i think i need brekkie....feelin hungry..deb
Arient Posted July 25, 2014 Posted July 25, 2014 3 nights in a row, cried my heart out into sleep. The daytime is pretty normal, but the late nights are such a nightmare. Being in an extremely good relationship does bring some problems when breaking up. I felt angry, sad, but still feel the love for him so strong and deep. Maybe because I'm in a detox process that my mind wants to have its detox too? Intentionally re-visit the memories in order to place them in a trunk, seal it and when I'm finally over him, I can open the trunk sometimes and look at the memories with a smile on my face? Dear dear, I love you so much, still. But I have to move on now. I will always love you, just maybe in another form of love not as strong as now...
mangetout Posted July 25, 2014 Posted July 25, 2014 I feel tired. emotionally drained. I need some good things to happen to me. Slow and steady process
Xemyd Posted July 25, 2014 Posted July 25, 2014 I miss him today. Although I do feel like I'm over him, but I do still find myself wondering where he is an what he's up to.
edgygirl Posted July 26, 2014 Posted July 26, 2014 I've been doing so well but maybe a bad date set me off yesterday. Feeling like a mix of the last two posters: Tired and emotionally drained. Need some good things to happen to me. And also unfortunately missing him after the bad date. Wondering if he's dating (as in, one person) again. Sad about the idea. But what can I do. I will not contact him, no way, and feel proud of being able to do that. One month NC. Last email was his with a "maybe let's talk after your vacation". But no, it won't come from me. I don't want breadcrumbs. I won't be vulnerable as I was right after we broke up. You only realize later but it's humiliating. He doesn't deserve it anyway. What annoys me is to be almost sure that he is fine. He's not a feeler, he's rational, so it must be much harder on me than it is on him. Ugh. Life is unfair. Let's get to talk with two potential promising guys I'm in contact. "I got better things to do, Better things to do, Than remember you": 1
LadyM Posted July 26, 2014 Posted July 26, 2014 I had been doing better, thinking about him less, which was such a major relief. But he has seeped back into my thoughts, vividly remembering the many cruel things he said to me, as if it just happened yesterday. Imagining how happy he is with his new girl, since he could not be happy with me. Reliving it all, keeping my self-esteem oh so low. I know we had good times together, but I don't remember any of them, but his inhumanity toward me is clear as day.
somedude81 Posted July 26, 2014 Posted July 26, 2014 Sad and alone. Everything reminds me of my ex. I just want to go to her house and see if I we can try again. But I know it's too late. It's almost 8 months since I last saw her. She's moved on. Why haven't I?
love1336x Posted July 26, 2014 Posted July 26, 2014 I have a feeling I will bust out laughing when I see my ex. When I'm nervous I laugh a lot. I hope he doesn't take it personal... Ugh.
freebird31 Posted July 26, 2014 Posted July 26, 2014 I'm getting over him. Can't help that he is a faded memory now.
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