todreaminblue Posted July 16, 2014 Posted July 16, 2014 I have decided to go back to school next year ...yep debs going baaaack...lol......going to challenge myself and take all advanced subjects....i am thinking about directions.......one of my multiples just wants to write song lyrics......but i want to do something, i want to finish something i start so i am going to get my higher school certificate ...something i should have gotten...i cant be bullied out of it this time...i am not going to run away and hide myself in the defence force ........i am going to blitz it and not purposefully fail subjects i should have aced just to fit in...and i am not goign to do everybody elses homework just my own to perfection....yay...smilin...i am excited.....then ill write song lyrics....as a hobby...:0).i start next year interview in october....cant wait...........but i will.......deb 1
freebird31 Posted July 17, 2014 Posted July 17, 2014 Welp, it's been a year and 3 months since the break up. What a journey! Gosh I remember this same time last year my heart was so broken into a million of pieces. I've come a long long way. Everyday I get better. Everyday I get stronger. I learn something new everyday. Something new about myself. It doesn't hurt anymore. From time to time my ex will come up in my thoughts but it doesn't happen so often anymore. Last form of contact ( if you even want to call it that) was just a few days ago when he "liked" one of my pictures by accident. (Kinda funny if u ask me lol.) anyway, I just want u guys to know that things truly get better with TIME. Just be patient with your healing. It's been over a year. That's a long time!! But I finally feel content with myself now. I'm not 100% healed but I'm DEF really really close! With NC and time, things get better. I have healed. What makes all of this better is that I have come out of this break up with huge goals for myself. I'm officially doing my own thing without depending on others. For the first time EVER. It feels so good to feel like you're finally finding yourself. It can only go up from here. Good luck everyone on your healing. Be patient with yourself.
freebird31 Posted July 17, 2014 Posted July 17, 2014 I'll also add that I wouldn't have been able to do it without love shack and the people on here who were there to give me advice. It has helped so much. It is good to pick a goal to distract yourself and keep you focused on yourself. But don't forget to vent your feelings, don't forget to "go there" to that place where all that hurt is at. Just let it out! On here or wherever. Get it out. It takes TIME for broken things to heal. It has taken me over a year so I should know. I'm not even fully there yet but I am at a muuuuch different place than where I used to be, even just 4 months ago. These things take time, years even. Just be PATIENT with yourself.
Justaguy30 Posted July 17, 2014 Posted July 17, 2014 I guess I am a weak person. I don't know how I wound up like this. I loved someone so much that it broke me into a million pieces. I am just a ship lost at sea destine to roam the earth alone and pathetically depressed without you. I mean why do i miss you. You were horrible to me.
freebird31 Posted July 17, 2014 Posted July 17, 2014 I guess I am a weak person. I don't know how I wound up like this. I loved someone so much that it broke me into a million pieces. I am just a ship lost at sea destine to roam the earth alone and pathetically depressed without you. I mean why do i miss you. You were horrible to me. Loving someone doesn't make you weak. Even loving someone more than you loved yourself does not make you a weak person. It's just a lesson we all eventually have to learn. You will heal and get better. Take it from someone who has been there. I def believe I loved my ex more than I loved myself and forgot To take care of myself. You said that they were horrible to u, but you are not in the relationship anymore so you are already progressing to the first step of getting better. It takes time. I won't lie u will miss this person everyday. For a long time. But with time, a lot of time u will get over this. Focus on yourself in the meantime. Set a goal. Find a hobby, don't let your ex or the break up control your life. Take control yourself. 1
love1336x Posted July 17, 2014 Posted July 17, 2014 I want to completely change my image and be somebody else for little while. I feel with each break up I become a different woman. Sometimes for the better, and sometimes for the worse. But, why should I denial who I'm really am? Why should I change into another woman so I can cope with this broken heart of mine? is the old me too weak to try to deal? Maybe she is... I love being me. Relationships end. there no going back in time... blah.
Justaguy30 Posted July 17, 2014 Posted July 17, 2014 Loving someone doesn't make you weak. Even loving someone more than you loved yourself does not make you a weak person. It's just a lesson we all eventually have to learn. You will heal and get better. Take it from someone who has been there. I def believe I loved my ex more than I loved myself and forgot To take care of myself. You said that they were horrible to u, but you are not in the relationship anymore so you are already progressing to the first step of getting better. It takes time. I won't lie u will miss this person everyday. For a long time. But with time, a lot of time u will get over this. Focus on yourself in the meantime. Set a goal. Find a hobby, don't let your ex or the break up control your life. Take control yourself. Thank you Freebird. I loved her more than anything in the universe and would have done anything for her and she used that against me. I am just still so in love with her. I was mean to her and regret that but she was cheating on me and lying to my face everday.
freebird31 Posted July 17, 2014 Posted July 17, 2014 Thank you Freebird. I loved her more than anything in the universe and would have done anything for her and she used that against me. I am just still so in love with her. I was mean to her and regret that but she was cheating on me and lying to my face everday. If she was cheating on you she wasn't and isn't worthy of your love. And regrets are lessons learned. Just don't be too hard on yourself . During this break up, learn to love yourself. You loved her more than anything! And that is perfectly okay and beautiful, but now it will teach you to remember to love yourself first. You're out of this unhealthy relationship which is the first step to loving yourself. Just take things day by day step by step. The first step is accepting and believing you deserve better.
hope2014 Posted July 17, 2014 Posted July 17, 2014 I feel great helping a friend of mine who has suffered from depression for months now. I brought her to a known professional in her place and she said it helps her better
Always Pondering Posted July 17, 2014 Posted July 17, 2014 I'm doing well lately, no problems and no sadness. As I'm sitting here on my laptop reading some posts and articles, I wonder if I should block my ex on Facebook again. I felt like I was keeping a grudge by blocking someone for the longest time and ever since I've unblocked her, I haven't looked at her profile once. Yet, some people say you should always keep them blocked for NC. I'm not entirely sure what to do, maybe this really isn't that big of a deal and I'll forget about it in the morning.
Listia Posted July 17, 2014 Posted July 17, 2014 Today has been a really rough day. It's been two weeks of NC, and I still think of him everyday. My self-esteem was feeling a bit low last night, so I thought I would make a profile on a dating website just for kicks. Well, I was bombarded with messages and notifications all during the day, and by the end of the day when everyone else had gone home from work, I broke down, overwhelmed with everything. All I could think about was why all these men wanted me, but the one I really want doesn't. When I got home, I had the most intense crying session that rivaled the one I had the day after the BU. He hasn't contacted me which I am grateful for, even if it does make me sad.
whatsherface Posted July 17, 2014 Posted July 17, 2014 So it's been 6.5 months. It hasn't gotten drastically easier, but it also hasn't gotten anymore harder. I still think about him almost every second of everyday. I still constantly think about how sweet, caring, and compassionate he was. He would've done anything for me and I took all of it for granted. I really, really messed up. It kills me to think about how I ruined something good. You don't get this lucky twice in life. You just don't. Especially not with my luck. Despite everything, I'm still living, I'm still somehow making it through each day. Guys, if I'm able to breakup with one of the kindest and sweetest people on earth and survive, so can you. You'll definitely find someone better. I, on the other hand, probably won't. It's really hard moving on when I know that I probably won't find someone so perfect for me again. I don't know, will every romance from now on just be completely mediocre compared to what I had with him? Everyone and everything just seems so bland. I often feel like giving up. If there's anything I learned, it's this: when you find someone who respects and loves you with everything they have, don't ever give it up. Don't take it for granted. Fight for it. Love it, nurture it, and cuddle the crap out of it at night. I do have moments where I'm almost able to accept living the rest of my life without him and these are the moments that keep me going. I still do have suicidal thoughts but they're not as overwhelming anymore. My depression is now at manageable levels and I'm able to function almost normally again. However, I'm still going to therapy and it's still hard for me to be alone sometimes. It's a slow progress and there are definitely more downs than ups, but I am moving forward. I'm far from being okay (and sometimes I wonder if I will ever be), but at the same time, I've come quite far. Some things are better, but a lot of things still suck. As cheesy as this sounds, it really is time. Time really does heal a lot of things, although slowly and painstakingly. :/
Thegreatestthing Posted July 17, 2014 Posted July 17, 2014 Still in love with the new guy I didn't think anyone could make me forget ex But he has...... I am in love,we spoke all night tonight he said when he went on the date last night he immediately came home thought of me and messaged me - Which he did,he sent me romantic texts all day long ,it's bliss to have forgotten the ex.OLD works.
babyA1024 Posted July 17, 2014 Posted July 17, 2014 It's been a year and 9 months since I've started NC. Some days are better than others. He was in my dream last night (hasn't happened since the beginning of our BU) and in it I approached him at school and he didn't remember me. I guess that means in real life he has moved on and has put our 2 year relationship behind him. I can say that I have dated a little bit since our BU but nothing has really stuck which is why I still miss him. But when I think of how he treated me like s*** it makes me dislike him all over again. I know that there is light at the end of the tunnel so I'll just keep moving along too. NC is the best thing that has ever happened to me!
scobro Posted July 17, 2014 Posted July 17, 2014 Really feeling sad about the whole BU from 4 months ago.I was fine up until yesterday....sadness hit me like a ton of bricks....ugghhh
Shields boy Posted July 17, 2014 Posted July 17, 2014 Sad times. Wish I could turn back the hands of time. They say time is a healer but I did not heal in time. Now the girl I love is with someone else and I fear I will never see or speak to her again. It's sad because I know she loves me. We have just caused each other to much pain. If only I could erase her from my mind.
freebird31 Posted July 17, 2014 Posted July 17, 2014 I have made a lot of updates on here which vented my feelings and al it of the feelings I have had have been sad or negative. Things are looking brighter so I thought id share how I have been feeling better. I don't really think of my ex anymore and the thing that has helped me to move on is my high self esteem. Which I will add, I never had before. I'm discovering myself and discovering all my attributes and the things I really love about myself and what I need to work on. With every day that passes I don't care as much as I used to about what happens with my ex. I'm starting to believe I really deserve better. I mean, not that he was a horrible boyfriend but maybe I deserve someone who goes hat extra mile for me. You know. Something he never did. I had a feeling this was going to happen maybe from everyone's advice on here. That I would one day just stop wanting him. I mean the idea of being with him is appealing, but I just feel like there is so much more out there as well. I do forgive him for how the breakup was handled being that it was both our first serious relationship and breakup , but idk. He never even apologized. I just feel like I deserved an apology esp after EVERYTHING I did for him during the relationship. I would have thought he would at least respect me enough to do that. And even after the breakup, I still always respected him and his space and even after everything he put me through during the breakup he never once apologized to this day. I just feel like I deserve more that that. Maybe I just deserve someone better entirely.
ThatOneGuyThat Posted July 17, 2014 Posted July 17, 2014 Well whilst working out at the gym, I looked out the window and saw my ex, her mother, her sister and her sisters friends. My ex and the mother were just dropping the others off. What I felt? A little bit of hate and resentment, no positive feelings. What I saw? A girl who I do not find attractive. And what did I do straight after seeing all this? I carried on, I carried on working out and I carried on with my life. Even made some jokes about it, and how there's a party this weekend which she is likely to attend and I'm not going to, not because of her I'd like to think consciously. I have been over 2 months NC and I am taking each day as it comes, talking to new people and making new friends.
Missy0724 Posted July 17, 2014 Posted July 17, 2014 I'm having a very rough day. It's taken a while to finally make that decision of NC, and reject friendship from ex, who broke up with me three weeks ago. But expected to go right to friends, bc I guess he was already over me, way before he officially ended things. Nice. Strung me along for a couple of months, had me meet his kids, mother, took me on a nice vacation. At which time he told me, I don't see a future with you... Ok? And I'm on this romantic vacation why? And you never introduced me as your GF, to all your business associates? Now I get it - you just didn't want to go on this trip and look pathetic. You needed some eye candy on your arm. God, I'm so pissed at myself, and yes, ex. He knew for months his feelings had changed, but up to the day he dumped me, and even during the dumping, he said, "I love you, I'm in love with you. I just can't love you the way you want me to." ??? wtf Oh, sorry I wanted to be called your girlfriend, after 9 months of sharing life together. Sorry I thought we had a future together bc you wanted your kids and mother to meet me. Sorry I thought you had romantic feelings for me, hence taking me on a beautiful vacation. Where there was no romance or initiative on your part. Blah. I tried and tried to be romantic, connect...nothing. This "man" (boy) knew for couple months his feelings changed, and he strung me along any way. And all happy on phone with me last two conversations. And now I know why- he's already online meeting people. Strung me along, sending me so many mixed messages. Still telling me, I love you. Sure, maybe he does just as a friend, but nothing I want nor need to hear, during break up, and after. VERY selfish. Yes, I'm super pissed right now. Am not an angry person, but these feelings I have... I hate him right now. I needed his friendship last couple of days bc I'm going thru some other challenging personal stuff. He was good about listening to me, as I shared so much with him as a friend. Whole time he happy and positive, and I thought it was bc maybe there was some hope for us...connecting and sharing. All along he's been online meeting people. That's why he's all happy! Moving on AND keeping the ex as a friend. Life is good for him! Nope! That's done. His loss. I know why he wanted to stay friends. For his own selfish ego. To not feel the pain of his irresponsible behavior, keeping me around, sleeping with me, while already over me romantically. Feel so used... Hate and love - yes, intertwined. He thinks I'm ever taking a phone call from him now? Nope - all done. He'll find out how loss feels now. I was the best friend he ever had. He doesn't have many close friends. Duh, another red flag I foolishly ignored... Live and learn. 1st day of NC. For me. To be free of this manipulator, liar, co-dependent, immature 40 year old boy. Who has to hop right into another rebound relationship. haha. Can't even be alone. No respect for men like that. So done. Feeling strong. I'll have my moments, bc when it was good, it was good! But that's over now. He has shown his true colors. I'm so bull****, yet feel free at the same time! Any one on here understand, been thru something similar? Need some moral support!!! Thanks!
Justaguy30 Posted July 17, 2014 Posted July 17, 2014 These past few weeks have been really tough for some reason. I have pretty much posted about the same thing twenty times on here. After we spoke and you said sorry I felt so much better and now I am no longer angry at you or thinking about all the **** you did. The problem is that is all I needed to calm down in the first place. Why didn't you just tell me sorry while we were together. Now I am missing you all the time and you want nothing to do with me which is a good thing because if you did we would wind up in the same situation and how could I ever live with you again with the kids talking to me about your other boyfriends that you have had since we broke up. Just losing my mind I suppose
freebird31 Posted July 18, 2014 Posted July 18, 2014 I am suddenly so MAD! I hate that my ex accidentally liked my picture. I honestly believe he just lusts me and not has feelings for me anymore. Why did he have to seriously like my photo? Like DUDE ! Seriously!? He broke up with me ,put me through the worst during that awful breakup. Now a year and three months later he accidentally likes my photo. (Mind u, we DONT follow each other)! Dude!!! Wasn't breaking my heart enough for you!? Like seriously dude! What do you want from me!!!!! You didn't want to be with me anymore yet you're on my profile. You DONT make sense! You have never made any sense. And I seriously believe u just lust me. U don't even have feelings just lust. I just idk believe that:/ and that's what hurts so much
EddieB Posted July 18, 2014 Posted July 18, 2014 I am suddenly so MAD! I hate that my ex accidentally liked my picture. I honestly believe he just lusts me and not has feelings for me anymore. Why did he have to seriously like my photo? Like DUDE ! Seriously!? He broke up with me ,put me through the worst during that awful breakup. Now a year and three months later he accidentally likes my photo. (Mind u, we DONT follow each other)! Dude!!! Wasn't breaking my heart enough for you!? Like seriously dude! What do you want from me!!!!! You didn't want to be with me anymore yet you're on my profile. You DONT make sense! You have never made any sense. And I seriously believe u just lust me. U don't even have feelings just lust. I just idk believe that:/ and that's what hurts so much Why isn't he blocked?
freebird31 Posted July 18, 2014 Posted July 18, 2014 Well he is blocked on Facebook but not on Instagram. I honestly never thought i would have this problem a year later. That's why it's just annoying.
love1336x Posted July 18, 2014 Posted July 18, 2014 Lol... Honestly! WHO GIVES A CRAP HOW MANY DAYS ITS BEEN SINCE WE SPOKE! I doubt highly you are keeping count! Today I feel WONDERFUL. Today is a GOOD day to be ALIVE & healthy! I am coping nicely today!
Shields boy Posted July 18, 2014 Posted July 18, 2014 Bad Craic today man. Anxiety blasting away in the chest and the mind going I should have done this I should have done that. Made mistake of phoning her. I'm blocked but straight to voicemail. Left a message then deleted her number. Was probably talking to a brick wall. I'm sick as she has not been in my life for 6 years now. Thought I had well moved on. She begged me back for 2 years and I denied her every time. She left drunken messages declaring her love and I denied her every time. I made a big mistake in reaching out to try and reconcile with her. I was a month too late. That just shows it was just not meant to be between me and her. Ignorance is bliss and I should have left it but you never know until you try. I'm packing my bags in 4 weeks and heading for a new city as the town holds no more for me. I will block her when I Leave but until then I live In hope and pray to god the girl I love gets in touch. I feel like sticking needle pins in voodoo doll.
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