Xemyd Posted July 13, 2014 Posted July 13, 2014 I can't let go. Everytime I think I have, everything comes rushing back. We don't talk, we don't see each other, but I still feel as if we're still in our long distance relationship, like I'm still waiting for him to call and say "I'm coming home tomorrow, let's go out". Why can't I just let him go? He's never tried to talk to me, he's never going to. It's been over for 10 months or so and I feel worse than I did the day we broke up. What's wrong with me? I'm a very logical person, not one to let my emotions take over but nothing I've done during this breakup is logical. I know that even if he did come back the likelihood of it working out isn't very good. I've changed for the worse after this breakup I don't think I could forgive myself for how I've handled it and it would affect how I could be with him. I'm so unhappy with everything in my life right now when I have no reason to be. Maybe I should see someone about this, but I would be embarrassed. I hate myself for being depressed over a guy when there's real issues happening to others, I see it as selfish. I'm so unhappy but I have no will or drive to do anything about it. I've gained probably 15 pounds since and I hate it but again, I have no drive to get back in shape. I can work out for a day and then go back to my sleeping and inactive routine. I'm not coping healthily. I long for him when I know it won't do any good. I don't like feeling this way but I'm keeping myself in this sick thought process.
love1336x Posted July 13, 2014 Posted July 13, 2014 Almost been two weeks since we last spoken... I keep focusing on "gotta let him go!" He'll be back soon from vacation and working with me again.... I wonder how that's gonna feel.... I wonder if he hates me. I feel bad at times when I tell my friends I miss him. They're like "but he's a loser!" So? He's 20 years old. He's earn the stuff he done. Who the hell is perfect?! ....so scary to think he'll be back home.... Will I be tempted to break NC? I pray I won't be.
hermitinator Posted July 13, 2014 Posted July 13, 2014 I can't let go. Everytime I think I have, everything comes rushing back. We don't talk, we don't see each other, but I still feel as if we're still in our long distance relationship, like I'm still waiting for him to call and say "I'm coming home tomorrow, let's go out". Why can't I just let him go? He's never tried to talk to me, he's never going to. It's been over for 10 months or so and I feel worse than I did the day we broke up. What's wrong with me? I'm a very logical person, not one to let my emotions take over but nothing I've done during this breakup is logical. I know that even if he did come back the likelihood of it working out isn't very good. I've changed for the worse after this breakup I don't think I could forgive myself for how I've handled it and it would affect how I could be with him. I'm so unhappy with everything in my life right now when I have no reason to be. Maybe I should see someone about this, but I would be embarrassed. I hate myself for being depressed over a guy when there's real issues happening to others, I see it as selfish. I'm so unhappy but I have no will or drive to do anything about it. I've gained probably 15 pounds since and I hate it but again, I have no drive to get back in shape. I can work out for a day and then go back to my sleeping and inactive routine. I'm not coping healthily. I long for him when I know it won't do any good. I don't like feeling this way but I'm keeping myself in this sick thought process. I don't think our scenerios are similar, but I relate or sympathize. I am going to go into therapy so that I do not make the same mistakes again in the next relationship (noticed pattern). To be honest, I don't think I want to get over him.
Xemyd Posted July 13, 2014 Posted July 13, 2014 To be honest, I don't think I want to get over him. I think that may be my problem. I'm not letting myself get over him. Maybe I should look into therapy, I know I have issues with communication. I don't talk to friends(not that I even have any anymore), I don't talk to my family about how I feel. Plus at this point friends and family would think I was fine and should be over it. I have an extremely hard time talking about my feelings and my personal life. I never told my ex that I loved him and I regret that more than anything. The one thing I should have told him regularly, I just couldn't get it out. Communication is the most important thing in relationships, I know that, but I just can't seem to ever get it out. At least this website gets me to let it all out.
Thegreatestthing Posted July 14, 2014 Posted July 14, 2014 I am doing great,it is only because the new boy is working and I can't talk to him that I'm even here posting about,I can't reccomend OLD Enough for getting over this.
sugarlove Posted July 14, 2014 Posted July 14, 2014 I"m doing really well today, new week so I"m hopeful and pray that I won't falter again this coming Friday. Went on a date last night, my date was attentive and really nice.. i'm hoping he'll call me again this week or so to make plans so I won't be staying at home pining over a jerk who sexted so many women. Still can't get over the fact that I could be so blind and silly to want him back.. Feeling great. Am going to have a big breakie and start the day right.
hermitinator Posted July 14, 2014 Posted July 14, 2014 I think that may be my problem. I'm not letting myself get over him. Maybe I should look into therapy, I know I have issues with communication. I don't talk to friends(not that I even have any anymore), I don't talk to my family about how I feel. Plus at this point friends and family would think I was fine and should be over it. I have an extremely hard time talking about my feelings and my personal life. I never told my ex that I loved him and I regret that more than anything. The one thing I should have told him regularly, I just couldn't get it out. Communication is the most important thing in relationships, I know that, but I just can't seem to ever get it out. At least this website gets me to let it all out. I have the same problem. It is ironic because communication is one of the most important things for a relationship to function and grow; naturally, it is the one thing that I struggle with. The relationship has been eye-opening because I am realizing that a lot of the issues we had in the relationship are personal and that there is a pattern (if we had open communication and instead of breaking up whenever some little thing didn't come to the "ideal", to just talk about it and become connected as a couple). It'll be good for me to focus on myself and grow as an individual before going into another relationship.
Xemyd Posted July 14, 2014 Posted July 14, 2014 I have the same problem. It is ironic because communication is one of the most important things for a relationship to function and grow; naturally, it is the one thing that I struggle with. The relationship has been eye-opening because I am realizing that a lot of the issues we had in the relationship are personal and that there is a pattern (if we had open communication and instead of breaking up whenever some little thing didn't come to the "ideal", to just talk about it and become connected as a couple). It'll be good for me to focus on myself and grow as an individual before going into another relationship. Yeah, I'm definitely nowhere near ready for another relationship, and until I learn to open up I don't want a relationship. I'm incapable of non-serious relationship so I really need to grow before anything. Unfortunately I'm still stuck thinking that I don't ever want anyone but him.
barrelwave Posted July 14, 2014 Posted July 14, 2014 I'm not counting the days since I last met my ex. Still working on that NC. It's been more than a year. The achy feelings have faded, but the after-effects still linger on. I've just left my job that I had just joined for this year. I am beginning to feel what it's like to be emotionally numb (or unavailable) after all that sadness. I kinda pushed myself to work harder, throw myself into work. Maybe perhaps, a little too hard. And due to the circumstances at the workplace, I'm really burned out. I love what I do. But I guess after all I've been through, even I give myself as much encouragement and self-compassion, I feel tired and disillusioned. I am very concerned with my career path. But sometimes the thought of fighting for my life alone just seems a little too much. Been hanging out casually with a new... I dunno, friend/date? She's nice and loves spending time alone with me. I mildly feel that way too. Maybe it's the state of my mind right now, but I just can't find my way into romance. I think I need more time. Hope everyone else is feeling alright.
iheartgoodmusic Posted July 14, 2014 Posted July 14, 2014 I turn the ****ing radio station when I hear a song that reminds me of you..
todreaminblue Posted July 14, 2014 Posted July 14, 2014 I am peachy, I have a date offer from a handsome guy who loves music, the kids are back at school today and i feel fine......today is a good day....deb
dumbass2 Posted July 14, 2014 Posted July 14, 2014 I have the same problem. It is ironic because communication is one of the most important things for a relationship to function and grow; naturally, it is the one thing that I struggle with. The relationship has been eye-opening because I am realizing that a lot of the issues we had in the relationship are personal and that there is a pattern (if we had open communication and instead of breaking up whenever some little thing didn't come to the "ideal", to just talk about it and become connected as a couple). It'll be good for me to focus on myself and grow as an individual before going into another relationship. I can relate to this a bit. I know I had communication problems with my ex the last month and a half. I've told her that I recognize my part in why she broke up because she mentioned if I was more of a jerk it might of worked. She was more about actions and not talking so much which made it difficult. The last few months after she mentioned "non commitment" I did not get upset at stuff. I was too understanding and trying not to allow for drama and probably cared a little less. In the end I know now it is ok to get upset when warranted and to express yourself no matter what kind of relationship you are in. You will grow and take what you have learned just as I am and we will have a much better chance at our next relationship.
Patr Posted July 15, 2014 Posted July 15, 2014 Almost two months since we broke up and NC for half a month. Worst day today because I found out that she's moving away with her family to a bigger town. I'm just going to forget her but it's hard to forget those amazing two years together and many years of friendship. 1
love1336x Posted July 15, 2014 Posted July 15, 2014 I'm nervous... He will be back soon. Less than two weeks. I keep focusing how that's gonna be. Will there be sparks? Is he going to be angry? Will I be happy to see him period? Even if he's frowning? I hope he smiles.
freebird31 Posted July 16, 2014 Posted July 16, 2014 this math class that i am taking this summer is preoccupying me and taking all my free time away. i have no time to really think about my ex anymore. the fact that he accidentaly liked my picture on instagram doesnt really mean anything to me either. it just puts me in the same situation that i was in before. i made my profile private again and will prob leave it this way. i dont really know what my ex feels for me, only he knows his feelings towads me. i dont listen to what anyone tells me, that he was never into me blah blah etc. my ex is just not as important as he used to be to me. i have other priorities now. i have set a lot of goals for myself, which is where i am putting my full focus on atm. its been over a year without him. but i cant lie, the fact that he was stalking my profile did make me feel like he was thinking of me at least. its been so long, i almost thought he completely forgot about me and wiped me from his mind. it is nice to know that i still come up from time to time. and likewise for him, he comes up from time to time but fades every day. i dont know what the future holds or why we had to break up. i dont know if there is someone or something better out there for me. i dont know if this is really the end for me and my ex. if he moves on, he moves on. at this point, a year later, i def think i can accept that now. i really dont know what the future holds. its hard to say that me and my ex are done for good. and that we may never be in each others life again. can you really say never? i have no idea what the future will be like. but for the time being, i am just focusing on myself.
realfriends Posted July 16, 2014 Posted July 16, 2014 Todays been a really bad day, I almost feel like crying for the first time in like 7 months. This is ****ing stupid I miss her. I question a lot of my decisions in my life. I question whether I should contact her or not. Im lonely. Really lonely. Most of my friends are complete ****. Money is so ****ing tight. With me moving to a new city for grad school its really stressing me out. Did I say that I miss her? ****
L1ght Posted July 16, 2014 Posted July 16, 2014 (edited) I feel great. Going to Germany in a little over a month and it just feels like this recent chapter of my life is finally coming to an end. My word what a roller coaster ride it has been. I was so in love and it felt like nobody on the planet could possibly be experiencing the love I once had for this beautiful woman (even though everyone else undoubtedly feels the same way when they think they have found that special someone in their lives). Lol I will never marry...Never Ever! Too much risk and too easy for love to fade and things to fall apart. I am free like the wind and I will always be this way. No woman is ever gonna tie me down. Its for the best. If I meet a cool woman on my travels who feels the same way I do she can bear my children but I ain't sticking around. It would be a disaster.....I just ain't made to be with someone on a long term basis. I would support my children financially of course(before all you Nutjobs get on you high horses) but I just ain't made to be with one particular person. I get this now and its taken me my whole life to realize it. I like being alone and find that whenever I end up being with someone they just drag me down and stop me from doing the things I want to do with my life(sometimes consciously and other times without even realizing it). No more backwards steps for me. I am the only focus in my life for at least the next ten years and I embrace it. Edited July 16, 2014 by L1ght
Thegreatestthing Posted July 16, 2014 Posted July 16, 2014 I am in love with the new guy which greatly helped forget the ex ,I got worried about everything and told him to date girls nearby which he did tonight Im not really upset about it because he told me twice about it and said she wasn't as interesting or sexy as me. But I'm a continent away and told him too date so what is there to say about it,I've told him a trillion times that I still have feelings for my ex,but I can honestly say now that I am wrapped up in this new guy and if his date doesn't work out I'm going to ask him about a long distance exclusive thing. Good love is on the way.
iheartgoodmusic Posted July 16, 2014 Posted July 16, 2014 I am well aware that he was no good for me but I still feel pain. I have asked for more hours at work to keep busy.
mangetout Posted July 16, 2014 Posted July 16, 2014 I am really hurting. Been hurting like this for three days now. Life is a b*tch
Hoosfoos Posted July 16, 2014 Posted July 16, 2014 Day after day, all this time afterwards, I remain a broken and damaged person as a result of what I've been through. The memories and bad feelings are not going away. Life has finally revealed itself for what it really is. No more denial.
hockeydan Posted July 16, 2014 Posted July 16, 2014 The ex contacted me today, we are on limited contact because I am unemployed and my things are still at her place. I am currently across country at my parent's waiting for my new job to start. She texted today to see if my job started and when I would be coming to get my stuff. I guess I felt the need to keep her up to date since half of the things in "our" apartment are mine and she is moving out of it in September. I had a little bit of hope in the back of my mind when she contacted me that she wanted to talk about reconciliation, but unfortunately it was all business. Today is one month since she broke up with me, but I think my begging and pleading in the first few weeks sent the recovery process back and our limited contact (about once a week now) didn't help either. I feel like I am in such limbo right now. I need to get my stuff out of there in order to go fully NC and have no ties to her. Only then will I have a chance to move on and if reconciliation happens in the future it won't start until I am completely out of her life like she wants. After our short conversation, which was business like, I went through the gambit of happiness, sadness, frustration and anger. It was definitely a step back. I am hoping she doesn't contact me with anything short of reconciliation until I move back to her area and get my stuff out of "our" apartment. One step forward, one step back, each day is a process.
freebird31 Posted July 16, 2014 Posted July 16, 2014 Setting a goal for yourself is the best thing you can do for yourself during this vulnerable time. I wish I would have done this sooner. Make a goal for yourself, something that truly interests you. Maybe a fitness goal. Put your focus on that. I swear I feel better than ever. My ex rarely crosses my mind anymore. 1
Recommended Posts