iheartgoodmusic Posted July 3, 2014 Posted July 3, 2014 I feel okay throughout the day but I still think about him everyday. I wake up with a nervous stomach every morning. Then it goes away after I get ready for work.
AnyaNova Posted July 3, 2014 Posted July 3, 2014 I had to postpone the final check through and paperwork of my old apartment. So I am sitting in it now waiting for them to come. I cannot wait to be done with this place!!! 1
AnyaNova Posted July 3, 2014 Posted July 3, 2014 I am totally out and back at my new place!! I never have to see that painful memory pit again! Thank God for that! 3
iheartgoodmusic Posted July 3, 2014 Posted July 3, 2014 I feel like a d*mn idiot! I read a email I sent him before going NC. Why in the hell did I say all of that mess.. I'm so embarrassed.. A first and definitely a last time I will send anyone anything like that. 3
True Gent Posted July 3, 2014 Posted July 3, 2014 I am totally out and back at my new place!! I never have to see that painful memory pit again! Thank God for that! I can relate to this, I had to take care of the loose ends for our old place to hand the keys back in after our split. Being in your own new place makes such a difference to your outlook and feeling of well being. It helped me so much, having no traces of the old relationship is such a positive thing. I hope the positivity continues for you! 1
True Gent Posted July 3, 2014 Posted July 3, 2014 I'm coping well with thoughts of my ex at the moment. I'm completely out of love with her, but what she did and how 9 years together just stopped pops into my mind daily. The fact she's in a relationship (even though I believe it's a pretty poor excuse for a RS) and I'm single bugs me. I feel like if I was exclusively dating someone now that it's 8 months down the line, that it would be the final nail in my old relationships coffin. It would be the ultimate "up yours" when she comes crying again the next time her boyfriend blows up in her face. The problem I have is I've no faith in the dating world right now. I've had too many strange encounters lately... I'm just sick of trying with OLD. I'm going to focus harder on some of my hobbies which could include social clubs/groups... Maybe that will be a better bet? Just feel jaded as hell though... That's not good, but I can't seem to help it. Oh, and I don't want to be dating just to try proving anything. I think what I've just said sounds like that, but I don't. I genuinely would like to meet a new special someone.
True Gent Posted July 3, 2014 Posted July 3, 2014 I feel like a d*mn idiot! I read a email I sent him before going NC. Why in the hell did I say all of that mess.. I'm so embarrassed.. A first and definitely a last time I will send anyone anything like that. We've all been there and done that one! You're only human, you were obviously upset. Don't beat yourself up over it 1
freebird31 Posted July 5, 2014 Posted July 5, 2014 I guess the hardest part. The hardest lesson through all of this; is learning to face yourself. Learning to be comfortable alone. Learning to be independent of another person. Making yourself happy and fulfilled. It's hard sometimes, because there are times when I just wish I could seek comfort from someone else, or in another relationship. But I know if I did that, I wouldn't be helping myself. I'm learning to be strong on my own two feet without anyone to catch me. It's harder bc right now I have so many things going on right now. My dad is still in the hospital and if don't have my best girl friend around to be here for me. So I need to do this on my own and with my family. And no one else. I don't need a boyfriend to console me. And even if I wasn't going through any of these things, I should not depend on someone else to make me feel happy or comforted. I really need to be independent. I'm not 100% there yet. But I'm def getting there. With each day that passes, I become more comfortable with being alone , single, and independent. It has been over one year now, 1 year 2 months since the break up. I don't feel 100% healed yet I admit. But I can't give up now...I hope there comes a day when I feel totally healed and 100% fulfilled without having to rely on another person to make me feel that way. I think once I get to that point, once I truly become confident that I can be completely happy on my own, my life and perspective will have changed. And I'll feel much more free. I need to do this on my own. If I can prove to myself I can do this on my own, then I won't ever need someone or be so damn needy. I need this for myself. I need this to become a happier human being. 2
VanessaVanessa Posted July 5, 2014 Posted July 5, 2014 There Hasn't been much to distract me in recent weeks. It's so pathetic how I pass by the day. Really. I don't have much at all to hang onto. I'm so damn angry sometimes and so damn disappointed other times because it's most probably just me who is this way. Luckily the WC has been on this past month, I've been able to pass by some hours. Go Costa Rica!! Hope I won't have time to think you some day soon.
iheartgoodmusic Posted July 6, 2014 Posted July 6, 2014 Yesterday I felt as if I wanted revenge. Then I realized it wouldn't make anything better.
Xemyd Posted July 6, 2014 Posted July 6, 2014 All I know is that I still want you back. I can't seem to get rid of this (hopefully) last nagging thought of you coming back into my life.
Blarose10 Posted July 6, 2014 Posted July 6, 2014 It's been a week since I spoke to him. We have dated for 8 years after my divorce. He always says the right things regarding his commitment to me but his actions are this. On a whim, he could get missing sometimes for days. No. this is not the first time he's done this and I've always believed his reasons. This time feels different. Not because of this event, but because of me. I knew the risks when I took him back the last time. But he's been wonderful, so I thought. So it's hitting me a bit harder that I let it happen again. I can't vent to my friends or family anymore because I'll just look stupid or like a raving lunatic. I have invested so much time in him. And I'm awesome. I'm afraid he has ruined me for meeting someone new. This is the reason that I have failed to finally end things with him and stop letting him do this to me. Get me unglued like this. The thought of starting over is frightening.
AnyaNova Posted July 6, 2014 Posted July 6, 2014 For so long after the breakup, it always bugged me that my time with my friends (particularly one of my favorites here who has since moved out of state) was poisoned a little because as much as I hated feeling like that, particularly on weekends I wished I could be spending it with him and didnt enjoy my time with my friends as much. Last night the friend from out of state visited and the whole group stayed up way too late playing cards against humanity, and it was so much fun and I realized somewhere along the way my time with my friends wasn't poisoned anymore by the loss of my ex. And it was wonderful! 3
SadNLonley Posted July 6, 2014 Posted July 6, 2014 I've been doing so well and now today not so much. Our anniversary was on the 4th and I waited until today to look at his facebook page to only find out he blocked me. Im so sad cuz come to find out he went to Mexico with the new girl. Im heartbroken all over again. How is it possible for one person to be stuck in such a rut and not move on while the other has no problems??? Im so mad at myself. Why couldnt i just stay away :( 1
Amy74 Posted July 6, 2014 Posted July 6, 2014 I accidentally face-timed my ex today. I was walking with my phone in my hand and I heard it ringing. I was horrified when I saw what had happened. It only rang twice before I hung up. It was truly an accident. There's a chance that it didn't even go through but if it did he probably realizes that it's just an accident. I hope. So *this* is a great reason to delete your ex from your phone!!!!! 2
OwMyEyeball Posted July 6, 2014 Posted July 6, 2014 Poor sleep combined with a diet filled with a lot of no-nos (sugary snacks, chocolate milk, etc.) have conspired to put me into a funk. I'd have fallen into one a lot earlier had it not been for the volume of work keeping my mind occupied and feeding little rewards here and there for jobs well done. Now I'm mildly depressed with a lot of time on my hands. Bad combo. I still think about her daily, but now with a bit more longing. It's probably because I'm vulnerable. Just because I feel depressed (i.e. diminished vitality) doesn't mean that's who or what I am. Setting myself up for a solid night of sleep and am keeping my hands of the treats. Made a list of all the things I'd like to do when I get home from this project later in the month. Nothing on the list excites me, but then again if it did, I wouldn't be depressed. Been living with it long enough now to know the drill and what it takes to pull myself out. Thinking back, nothing she did could pull me out of these moods. It took time and patience. That's all that has ever worked. Usually just a day or two, sometimes even an afternoon. It crushed her to feel that she couldn't lift my spirits. She felt responsible no matter how much I tried to convince her that the issue was largely biological, not social. Sadly, the guilt I would then feel sometimes prolonged the episode. That would then make her feel more anxious and guilty. So when I'd ask for space to heal she'd take that as a rejection. Rotten cycle. Ugh
babyA1024 Posted July 6, 2014 Posted July 6, 2014 Yeah I've been in NC for 396 days, a year and 1 month. When hanging out with friends or attending parties I'm great. it's the nights that hurt the most. yes time heals all wounds and i realized how happy i am without him. No one will ever get the chance to break my heart like he did. If it weren't for my sister looking on his ig and telling me how happy he looks and how many girls saying he is sooo sexy and cute i wouldn't be feeling this way. How is it so easy for him to pretend like those 2 years meant nothing to him? I guess that's how life goes. but i don't wish anything bad on him (well i did when we first broke up lol). Hating him didn't make the situation go any other way. it's been hard to go NC for this long but each day i wake up breathing a lot easier and more hopeful that i can fall in love with another guy who will appreciate it. NC truly is the best thing that ever happened to me because the day he left was the day i arrived!
Thegreatestthing Posted July 7, 2014 Posted July 7, 2014 I feel happy and alive and pre occupy myself with so many boys that I hardly notice he's gone,but now I've sent two emails with no reply and I feel so forgotten after I see that he didn't even acknowledge them .I don't understand when it's so easy to reply why he doesn't ,I still have no reason as to why or what I did wrong,I know that without the disasters in my life I'd be fine without him and wouldn't have written,I was just needing his love and support and it wasn't there,I've ignored him so many times myself..... now I know what it feels like,I still can't accept his gone,but I am making an effort with other boys and I can definitely see myself with someone else.
iheartgoodmusic Posted July 7, 2014 Posted July 7, 2014 I hate him and love him at the same time. Makes me angry. Wish I could fast forward through all of this. 2
Blarose10 Posted July 7, 2014 Posted July 7, 2014 I hate him and love him at the same time. Makes me angry. Wish I could fast forward through all of this. I know how you feel. I didn't even like mine at first. And for years my friends said to me we didn't make a good match. He is arrogant and rude. And the worst tipper. He still irons his jeans.. Really? Who does that. I don't know how I fell in love with him. I hate him too.. I need a fast forward button. I'm afraid I'm damaged good because of him and I hate him for that. 8 years... I do t know who I'm maddest at him for being him or me for not SEEING him. How did I get here?
Blarose10 Posted July 7, 2014 Posted July 7, 2014 I accidentally face-timed my ex today. I was walking with my phone in my hand and I heard it ringing. I was horrified when I saw what had happened. It only rang twice before I hung up. It was truly an accident. There's a chance that it didn't even go through but if it did he probably realizes that it's just an accident. I hope. So *this* is a great reason to delete your ex from your phone!!!!! Delete??? I'm still calling him multiple times a day. 8 years... And nothing. Hell I deserve for him to tell me something... Not just fall off the earth... How can he just stop talking to me after 8 years. I wish I could delete him..
freebird31 Posted July 7, 2014 Posted July 7, 2014 Keeping busy. It's helping. But just came across a post that someone wrote. She said that people make time for the people they want to make time for. It just depends whether or not you are a priority in someone's life. Made me think about my ex.. I don't think about these things too often anymore. But it did make me think of why we broke up and why we are not together. And the reason which I have pieced together was that I was simply not a priority in his life . I don't think I should take it personally. But he had a lot of things going for him. He put school and his new job before me. I can understand the school thing. That is always a priority for me. And I guess I can understand the job thing. He really needed the money. What was he supposed to do? Quit? For me? Yeah right. Maybe I shouldn't have nagged him for his extra time. I guess he started to put his friends before me too at the time. Not a lot. Just those few times. He had the weekend off and instead of spending it with me, he spent it with his friends..or going to a party with his friends. He did this a few times to me before I had enough and expressed to him my feelings. Idk:[ I still don't know the answers looking back. I shouldn't have suffocated him so much for his free time. But then again, he was my boyfriend. It just felt unbalanced. Maybe he just didn't know how to balance it all. I guess it just bothered me that I was always on the same level and his friends. I wanted to be his priority before his friends. I thought I was supposed to be. but he always put them on this equal level as me. It bothered me a lot.
freebird31 Posted July 7, 2014 Posted July 7, 2014 My question is: in a relationship, should your partner become a priority before your friends?
freebird31 Posted July 7, 2014 Posted July 7, 2014 I can't believe I asked this question^ I don't think they should come before your friends. I think my ex was right in keeping us at a balance. Hanging out with his friends, and equally hanging out with me. Towards the end I did feel like it wasn't balanced much. But overall, it was. And I would never make him or anyone choose. You should never forget your friends. Sigh. I really miss my ex <|3 I can only send him my love in a form of a prayer and just pray good things upon him. Slowly but surely he is fading away. And I'm getting stronger with each day that passes. I know one day I'll get over it.
sugarlove Posted July 7, 2014 Posted July 7, 2014 I can't believe I asked this question^ I don't think they should come before your friends. I think my ex was right in keeping us at a balance. Hanging out with his friends, and equally hanging out with me. Towards the end I did feel like it wasn't balanced much. But overall, it was. And I would never make him or anyone choose. You should never forget your friends. Sigh. I really miss my ex <|3 I can only send him my love in a form of a prayer and just pray good things upon him. Slowly but surely he is fading away. And I'm getting stronger with each day that passes. I know one day I'll get over it. My ex kept hanging out with me. I think he has friends, I'm not sure, never seen them, only heard about them. Kinda like Big Foot. I feel in order for a couple to thrive, they need to be independent of each other. 1
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