SpiritualAlchemy Posted May 25, 2014 Posted May 25, 2014 Today....sad, and missing my best friend and someone I loved a lot. Feeling so frustrated with these useless emotions. Where do you put them? I long to dial back time to even six months ago, when we were together, but you can never go back, only forward. 2
redbaron005 Posted May 26, 2014 Posted May 26, 2014 I guess it would have been my ex and Is anniversary today...so feeling iffy and curious as to what's up in her life
Hello201 Posted May 26, 2014 Posted May 26, 2014 one week today since i got the phone call i dont know know how im doing i miss her voice i miss her laughing telling me she loves me ( then she didnt ???) i should hate her for that alone i read somewhere there is a thin line between love and hate i never got that until now i miss being with her she was (is) my other half she did get me more than anybody else she filled in the gaps she knew what i was thinking and me her well i thought i did never saw it coming how can you when youre told i cant wait to see you tomorrow and then i want a break then dont worry i had a load on my mind i love you i miss you we will be ok when we are together , then the next moring then i want a break its best you dont come over
freebird31 Posted May 26, 2014 Posted May 26, 2014 I look back and I still believe firmly that I made the right choice in reaching out to him. I no longer obsess over this false hope. I no longer wonder if he still thinks about us. Because I now have the answer; he doesnt. He's doing his own thing and I'm not in his mind. I also have no regrets. I mean I made myself vulnerable again by telling him how I felt, and perhaps he didn't learn that he really hurt me. Maybe he doesn't understand the depth of hurt I felt when he broke my heart. But I have NO zero regrets. I put my heart on the line told him he meant a lot to me during the time we dated. I don't even think much of him anymore....I have bigger problems than my ex now which is surprising. Hopefully one day I can fall out of love. I still think of him and think of how crazy I am of the memory of him. But I'm not even sure if I still feel that way.....idk. 1
Peacock_Tail Posted May 26, 2014 Posted May 26, 2014 Feeling pretty great. Life is beautiful and with endless opportunities so I'm not going to be miserable because of one person. Chin up everybody! Just because you are on this forum means you are all amazing. 3
slouch Posted May 26, 2014 Posted May 26, 2014 Even worse today. It feels exactly like the first week post break-up. I've wanted to cry, although I can't. But everything about her is still totally vivid in my memory. The sense that I can't be near her at all isn't just mentally overwhelming, it's physically unbearable too. For a few hours at a time I can keep my mind off her but I always slip back to thinking of her, drafting messages or emails in my head that I can send. I want her to message me so I can confront her, but...I've come on here to vent before I do anything stupid.
L1ght Posted May 27, 2014 Posted May 27, 2014 (edited) Radio silence again. Its all good though. I have been mentally preparing myself for this for quite some time now. I guess my ex is one of those people who turns to silence just to get a reaction or to figure things out on her own but the thing is she doesn't realise yet how much self assessment and self analysation I have given myself for quite a while now. I aint biting, I aint getting mad, I aint giving her attention and I certainly aint gonna let this type of thing consume me the way I used to constantly on a day to day basis. Dont get me wrong, we havn't argued are anything like like....we just havn't contacted each other for a few days since breaking a period of not speaking for a long time recently. I'm curious what she is thinking but I know I just gotta let it be, I just gotta let her figure things out in her own head before she feels like she is ready to engage with me. Thats fine, life is good and I'm not angry at anybody anymore. I don't expect anything, I dont need anything, I'm good and whatever will be will be. This is a peaceful process and I'm happy she isn't a stranger. My life goes on and I'm excited to live it. I know she has a few problems right now and I will be here for her if she needs it. Life is good people....sometimes over time we find a way to make peace and figure things out in a peaceful way. Takes time but it is possible. Edited May 27, 2014 by L1ght 3
AnyaNova Posted May 27, 2014 Posted May 27, 2014 I guess it would have been my ex and Is anniversary today...so feeling iffy and curious as to what's up in her life Though it wouldn't quite be the anniversary that me and my ex got together, it would technically be the anniversary of when we had our first date. Now a year later, and two friends of mine just broke up.
redbaron005 Posted May 27, 2014 Posted May 27, 2014 Though it wouldn't quite be the anniversary that me and my ex got together, it would technically be the anniversary of when we had our first date. Now a year later, and two friends of mine just broke up. I am proud your doing NC, and certainly feel for you. Be strong and don't let nutritional mood swings dictate your self-control. It's going to get super hard in weeks 6-8. I've never felt so disappointed in someone's lack of integrity and regretful of my immatury and inexperience in handling a major life situation. I feel like what I lost is immeasurable and that the experience that I gained is. I feel like a failed father figure, boyfriend, and person all in one and am genuinely scared that I won't be able to rise above this. I want a breakfast at Tiffany's ending however realize that's simply not realistic. I didn't need her but our love gave my life a worthy purpose. Now, again, I find myself as much as a gypse as she is, searching for that meaning lost in a world full of distractions and lacking genuinity.
learning_slowly Posted May 27, 2014 Posted May 27, 2014 5 months or so post break up nc most of the time. Small set back last week when he came to my house again. I am coping very well. I wake up excited thinking about the future and my goals. Prior to that was a good 4 months of waking up feeling nothing but dread. This is probably weird to say, but I still have a week a month of feeling really sad about everything- the rest of the time I am absolutely fine, and pretty positive. Hormone related? I don't think it's hormone related as I get the same. I think it's just our lives allowing us to dwell or we get a really rainy day! I think it's fat better to break up when it's sunny My breakup was about 3 months ago and NC, probably 3 weeks ( I haven't been keeping track). I think the hardest thing is reminding myself there is no going back.
ThatOneGuyThat Posted May 27, 2014 Posted May 27, 2014 I now have something that should distract me for a couple of days. As for my feelings and emotions,they come in highs and lows. I'm upset about how everything turned out and how I was left with nothing, but I also understand that it's for the best. I don't want this person in my life, I have seen her true colours. She abandoned me for something new, she does not know what a relationship is and is immature. I will find someone who is right for me, someone who will not run away and truly understand the meaning of love and a partnership. Recovery is slow, but sticking to NC is truly helping. It's just resisting the urge to look on social media or even the expectation of a message. She is dead to me. I mus reiterate this. 1
stillfiguringitallou Posted May 27, 2014 Posted May 27, 2014 I found the picture of our baby today - the first ultrasound - the one where they found the heart beat and told us all was well. And even though I'm not crying uncontrollably like I used to. I'm still sad. That 5 weeks ago we were excited about starting our family. 5 weeks later - we are nothing more than strangers with a history. I know life isn't fair - it was a lesson I learned long long ago. However today - this seems to pass from unfair - to unbalanced ... to whats the point. Why get involved - make plans - build a life and a 5 year plan ... why bother doing any of that - if it can all end - completely - in 5 short weeks. Why bother. Being alone may be sad sometimes ... but it certainly isn't as painful as this.
Gr4veyard Posted May 27, 2014 Posted May 27, 2014 Everyone else around me is finding love and Im still all alone after he left me, feeling like no-one will ever love me again. I got nothing lovable about me.. A really bad day again. 1
AnyaNova Posted May 27, 2014 Posted May 27, 2014 I'm at loose ends right now. My family agrees that I should not try to get a job until I know the treatment and its likely course (will start h"the 03). But other than finishing the move. What do I do with myself other than my instruments? Until classes start also on the 3rd! I find myself bored. Not a usual state for me.
elseaacych Posted May 27, 2014 Posted May 27, 2014 (edited) At work they were telling me about two new cute guys. I got all excited about them! Got home to facebook creep on them: both had pictures of each of them with their lovely girlfriends! GOD DAMN IT!!! Edited May 27, 2014 by elseaacych
somedude81 Posted May 27, 2014 Posted May 27, 2014 (edited) While using my secondary computer I came across some old pictures of my ex and I that had placed on a shared folder. So just now I went to get them off that folder, then of course I went through all the pictures I have of her, and felt my heart break again. Next week it will be six months since she dumped me. Which really sucks because we were only together for six months. But those six months were my heaven. She was everything I ever wanted in a woman. I wish there was something, anything I could have done to keep her happy and with me. I desperately want to drive to her place and talk to her, and try to convince her to come back to me, but I know there is no chance of that ever happening. God I'm such a fu*king loser! Edited May 27, 2014 by somedude81
Always Pondering Posted May 27, 2014 Posted May 27, 2014 Feeling really well and excited to feel even better throughout this healing process. Earlier today when I was in my local Barne's and Noble's, I saw a couple communicating with sign language. This was the first time I've seen a couple use sign language for a lengthy amount of time and not only did it look really cool, but it made my heart leap.
L1ght Posted May 27, 2014 Posted May 27, 2014 I'm at loose ends right now. My family agrees that I should not try to get a job until I know the treatment and its likely course (will start h"the 03). But other than finishing the move. What do I do with myself other than my instruments? Until classes start also on the 3rd! I find myself bored. Not a usual state for me. Go hiking. I love walking out in the hills this time of year.
STM206 Posted May 28, 2014 Posted May 28, 2014 The days if sadness have become moments of sadness, even of they're still frequent. I remember I used to wake up in the morning literally tremoring with anxiety. While the anxiety still lingers, it isn't all controlling. I told myself I would wait a year before I went on a date, but I got asked on a date this weekend. While I know I have a ways to go before I'm able to move on completely, I'm going to treat myself. It's nice to feel desired again. I hope by this time next year you don't even phase me, that the only time I'll think of you is when someone happens to mention your name. 3
stillfiguringitallou Posted May 28, 2014 Posted May 28, 2014 Day 3 in a row of going to the gym - and I'm feeling more and more like myself everyday. Today I am coping well Today I realized just how over-sized your opinion of yourself had grown over the last year. To think you thought your presence had anything to do with my overall happiness. Yes I am sad that it's over - yes it crushed me the way you did it. But like a phoenix I will rise again from our ashes - and my fire will light the hearts and eyes of many - just as it always has. To think you thought the end of us could dim that. I love you - and I certainly miss you - and that isn't likely to go away for a long time. But don't think I can't go on without you. I've lost people who WANTED to be part of my life - losing someone who doesn't is just another thing.
namastemeow Posted May 28, 2014 Posted May 28, 2014 Feeling way better about myself. Miss him a little bit but well im starting to accept it. 1
iouaname Posted May 28, 2014 Posted May 28, 2014 Wow I've been doing great lately. No problems with regards to the ex - haven't even really been thinking about him. Then tonight it hit me like a ton of brick. Nothing in particular triggered it, and no tears, but my heart is heavy. I'm sad. I'm sad at what everything became. I'm sad at what he became. I miss the old him, and I hate the new him (not that I have anything to do with it.) I miss the good times and I have a small pain for what could have been. Life has been different lately. I think a small part of me still loves him... I don't know. I know I'll be fine again by morning, but tonight I'm sad.
Tally123 Posted May 28, 2014 Posted May 28, 2014 Sorry to bring the positive energy down, but today I feel awful. Took every ounce of me not to start crying on the way into work, as soon as I got in I let it all out. He was in my dream last night - we went to Paris. I just miss him, I see his face, hear his voice, the way he walks, everything. I can just see it. I have strong thoughts of him with someone else today, they are killing me. I just don't know how he could walk away so easily without ever looking back when I loved and still do love him so much. Anyway, hope everyone is having a better day Tally
newenglandkid Posted May 28, 2014 Posted May 28, 2014 She broke it off with me 5/18, however I am only 2 days of full NC. It sucks in the morning when I usually send that good morning text. During the day I constantly check my emails waiting to hear from her. In the evenings I always anticipate running into her at the gym. I miss her very much, she has been talking with these two guys at her work, no idea if it's on a friendly level or something more. So that gets my anxiety going, but I just try to take it hour by hour and keep reminding myself everything's gonna work out the way it should.
elseaacych Posted May 28, 2014 Posted May 28, 2014 Talked to my ex's little sister through email about a competitive academic program I got her into. She's going in a few weeks. I am so excited for her!!!
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