ThatOneGuyThat Posted May 19, 2014 Posted May 19, 2014 The urge to check up on her is growing stronger, I'm finding it hard to control my feelings.
True Gent Posted May 19, 2014 Posted May 19, 2014 Well 6 months post BU and I've found out some annoying info which doesn't surprise me... The details aren't important, but I can't believe how much anger is still deep within me because of her actions. I really do hope I never have to see this fool in person ever again. I've been doing really well considering how she toar my world apart and now I feel so much anger again. Helping her mum with dog sitting what were our dogs while she's in the USA for 4 months isn't a good scenario. I can't wait to be 100% free of this poisonous woman I was stupid enough to propose to. 3
JahnJahn Posted May 19, 2014 Posted May 19, 2014 Its night time and earlier i decided not to even initiate contact. But why the hell am I waiting here for her to come online or call me? Why am I still thinking about her when I prepared to expect the worst after giving her a second chance? I feel paranoid, I feel depressed. I have tried to distract myself but that only works during the day. With all this silence in my room, all I can do is think about when she is coming online. I am reaching my limit. I want to hold out longer but my gut tells me anything worth having is worth fighting for, good things come to those who wait. But why? Why am I still up waiting for her? WHY!!? I cant cope with this. I wish it was day time so I could run, go to the gym and distract myself with Uni...
Forwardlooking Posted May 19, 2014 Posted May 19, 2014 The past 30 months have been an emotional roller coaster for me. I felt that I put myself on a carpet which he controlled. My stomach, self worth, happiness all plummeted. Whilst my insecurity grew. I would have days where I couldn't hide my anxiety at work if he had done anything dodgy that I couldn't explain away in my head. Eventually I pushed myself to force a BU. He said he needed space. It's been 6 weeks and NC for 15 days. I cry every day. Waiting for it to get better but it doesn't seem to want to hit home. I don't actually think I will meet anyone like him again. He was a soulmate in the sense that we had extreme compatibility. I am terrified. Because I do not actually think I could find anyone like this again. Or in fact any one. Before him I spent most of my life lonely, or meeting players. Each time I would be disappointed. This time I am truly hurt.
FortunateSon Posted May 20, 2014 Posted May 20, 2014 I am absolutely MISERABLE tonight. I feel like a wound that was almost healed was ripped open again last week and I am really struggling. It's almost been a year. I've done everything right, NC, blocked social media, everything and she found a way to hurt me. She stalked a girl I was talking to and sent her slanderous messages about me, which the new girl relayed to me. Through all this I found she is still with the guy she started dating 4 month post BU and going on vacations with him. I am miserable and don't know what to do?!
freebird31 Posted May 20, 2014 Posted May 20, 2014 Feel like I'm going through a second break up this year:( this time with my friend. Haven't talked in a month....I seriously feel ill. She was the main friend and only girl friend I trusted and told everything to. I don't even have any one else to hang out with. I feel very alone. I don't even know where to put all my free time anymore. I don't remember the last time I had real fun. I'm putting my extra free time into the gym and school. But I literally have no social life. I'm going crazy.
David87 Posted May 20, 2014 Posted May 20, 2014 Feel like I'm going through a second break up this year:( this time with my friend. Haven't talked in a month....I seriously feel ill. She was the main friend and only girl friend I trusted and told everything to. I don't even have any one else to hang out with. I feel very alone. I don't even know where to put all my free time anymore. I don't remember the last time I had real fun. I'm putting my extra free time into the gym and school. But I literally have no social life. I'm going crazy. Go out more and try to make new friends. 1
freebird31 Posted May 20, 2014 Posted May 20, 2014 Getting worse and worse. Just started to get over the break up. It's been a year. Now this. I just can't do this anymore. I can't do it anymore. I seriously would rather wish being dead than be here on earth suffering. Too much pain I can't take it. Feel so sick. I feel so heart broken again:( she was supposed to me my best friend. Seven years. So much pain. It hurts
namastemeow Posted May 20, 2014 Posted May 20, 2014 Day 9, Still missing him so badly. It is sad that everything just ends like this. His friend said i should really give him time. He is being homesick really bad and he cant think right. He also told me to give him time so he can be sure of what he wants about us. But im just afraid someone will take him away from me. im afraid that he will find a replacement of me. I know he still love me though. But he keep saying he wants me to find someone that can make me happy. I cant, i just cant. Too much memories of us, and after all this years everything i do just reminds me of him. I miss waking up next to him, coming home to his face and smiles, the way we spend each day together. Everything just hurts. I wish i could turn back time.. I wish i could make him change his mind.
todreaminblue Posted May 20, 2014 Posted May 20, 2014 Not coping too well today, and not looking forward to saying no to a sick friend.....feel like crap
Alcatraz Posted May 20, 2014 Posted May 20, 2014 Today I'm scared, scared that I'll always feel like this. 1
JahnJahn Posted May 20, 2014 Posted May 20, 2014 We have talked, I raised the issue and she admitted her faults. Things felt better today and I felt that the woman I love is returning to me slowly. I don't want to cling onto this hope, the past few days have been miserable. I am conflicted, but feel better than before. I tell myself I am better than this and I can distance myself, but after today, the hope is starting to cloud my judgement.
Mary Oak Posted May 20, 2014 Posted May 20, 2014 Hey. I wanted to thank you for responsing to my question about the grass being greener. It took you a couple of days to respond so I figured I wouldn't hear from you. But, when you did, I could tell you had thought out every word. I miss you too and I miss our life too. I also think about you all the time. Those words felt good to hear, but I know there will be no action behind them. I don't think you have the true desire. I think you do miss me, that is expected after being together for so long. I don't think you miss me like I miss you. You asked me not to respond because it would just make things harder. So, I didn't. That was hard, but I am glad you asked me not to because I would have just dug myself deeper into a hole. You are gone for good. You are another's lover. Wow. You said the grass was not greener just different and you still had a lot of struggles and pain. Honestly, a lot of it is probably guilt. You knew I was always scared of being abaondoned, and you tried after to be there for me. I know you did. You just couldn't be the one. Anyways, just like every other day, I think of you. It still makes me sad. After all this time, I don't ever think of something about us and smile. It still hurts too much. I feel like I am about as over youas I am going to get. Which sucks. I just keep on keeping on. Life doesn't stop for heartache, that I have learned. Take care of yourself. You say that you know that I WILL be in your life one day and you have to believe that. I don't believe it. I am sorry. If we never get back together, we will not be a part of each other's lives again. I just can't. I don't even know I could take you back at this point. But, I still love you and miss you to pieces. Life moves on....and like you said we have to keep moving forward with it. Take care love, take care.
Erlaad Posted May 20, 2014 Posted May 20, 2014 One step forward, two steps back, I guess. I really wonder what's wrong with me. I try to be good with people, I try to be cheerful, stay calm, help everybody. Yet everything I feel is detachment, solitude and misunderstanding. I don't know what I do wrong. I know I'm dysfunctional and have an unbalanced personality, but my God I wish I knew what to do. How to make things right. 'cause this doesn't feel right at all. I feel so not part of my life. And then you get people who use me and then leave me in the trash, people who make fun of me, people who think I'm fat, stupid, grumpy, lazy, useless. No wonder I think the same about myself. Sometimes I just want to be done with all of this.
STM206 Posted May 20, 2014 Posted May 20, 2014 I'm surprisingly feeling... Dare I say it. Okay? I'm not trying to jump the gun or anything because I know it's a roller coaster. However I feel somewhat blah about the whole thing. Weird! 4
furby58 Posted May 21, 2014 Posted May 21, 2014 Most days i feel like stallone running up those stairs , getting and feeling better with the break up..unfortunately the past few days its like i've missed a step and fell a few steps down
greenbee81 Posted May 21, 2014 Posted May 21, 2014 Music helps me. temper trap - sweet disposition on full blast is amazing! 1
namastemeow Posted May 21, 2014 Posted May 21, 2014 Day 10 i just want so see him, give him hug thats it.
Hello201 Posted May 21, 2014 Posted May 21, 2014 http://www.loveshack.org/forums/breaking-up-reconciliation-coping/breaks-breaking-up/477989-she-broke-up-me im not its killing me i wish i was with her i know shes hurting as well ?
stillfiguringitallou Posted May 21, 2014 Posted May 21, 2014 Today - I WAS doing really really well. Then - I ran across the pictures from my son/his daughters birthday party. That I threw and added her as a surprise because they were born so close together. And in the background of a picture of the two kids... there we were ... smiling at each other ... happy ... and *I know* pregnant. That was April 6. Now we don't even speak - except briefly to pass the message we hope the other is doing well. I was okay today - I really was - I had made peace. But how and when does it stop triggering. I didn't expect that - I had really started moving forward. It made my heart hurt to see our faces.
L1ght Posted May 22, 2014 Posted May 22, 2014 Hello people. My ex has walked back into my life. I have already tried to post about it a couple of times then chickened out because I kinda felt like a hypocrite for telling other people to move on with their lives and forget their ex's while I'm paying attention to mine. I'm ready to talk about it now. The difference is that my ex has came back and given me closure. She has came back and explained her decisions to me and engaged with me when I wanted answers. My respect for her has shot through the roof because she could sense that we left things too much unresolved. She has also clarified to me that it was actually a very wonderful time in her life that she holds as dear to her heart as I do to mine. The only real advice I can give to people after my own experience here is that yes its best to walk away when you aren't getting the love you want back.....its for your own good. However that doesn't mean that your ex wont one day realise they need to set things straight no matter what the circumstance. So the best thing you can do is let go and do what's best for you.....if your ex comes back and puts things right then that's awesome but if not then at least you know you didn't let them hold you back. Good luck people.
Always Pondering Posted May 22, 2014 Posted May 22, 2014 Yesterday I will admit I had a short fantasy of breaking NC by contacting her and expecting good results. Shortly after, I realized this was unlikely and I dismissed it. I went to bed slightly sad but knew things would be okay. Today, I am doing much better as usual. I was extremely busy today spending the entire day with friends. I find that on the more busy days, I rarely even give an ounce of a thought to my ex and our ended relationship. I just have to remind myself that I am aware things will turn for the better and that everyday I am moving towards complete happiness inch-by-inch.
SpiritualAlchemy Posted May 22, 2014 Posted May 22, 2014 Hating him right now, and I have been for a while. Also still love him. Last time I contacted him, I told him to go somewhere and die. *shrugs*. Life is brighter nowadays. 1
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