How are you coping today?

[this2shallpass]

@dontgiveuponme yes, big hugs to both of us I knoww, i have to believe that i will be ok.. and i know we both will. But I CANt help to think that its HIM i want to be with, and suppose to be with...

[dontgiveuponme]

This2shallpass omg same here cant imagine ill be with someone else but i guess we need to knock them out of their pedestal.we cant control thier emotions..its easy to say things to other people but hard to do it to your self...just here for you if u want someone to talk to.

[this2shallpass]

@dontgiveuponme Yes..i know we cant control their emotions, but i just dont get it... how he could leave me like he did. I have soo many questions, it was no closure. no break up talk or anything...just ignored me.. after all the years we had together.. ugh. Yea, i do need someone to talk to :/

[dontgiveuponme]

just here for you..ill guess ur situation is much better than mine..he walk away coz hes blaming me that im so jealous that he thinks hes walking on eggshells and didnt give me a chance said ppl never change..still beating myself for that.

[this2shallpass]

@dontgiveuponme and he is a jerk, i know that, but it doesnt help me right this moment..

[this2shallpass]

@dontgiveuponme No, my situation is a nightmare, i dont even know what happened. But I am guessing it is similar to your reason, except he told you...ugh.. men can be so cold.. How long ago is it since you broke up?

[dontgiveuponme]

he dumped me january and had an affair but come back after 2weeks and apologize but last month he dumped me again lol...guess i didnt learn anything and beg and plead to him....so im trying to do strict NC.

[this2shallpass]

@dontgiveuponme so sorry to hear that, I have a sneaky suspision that he cheated on me, or reason for all of this, cause right before I got the ignore treatment, I found something he wrote to a random girl on instagram, and I got super upset and told him, and ignored him the next day, and he got then mad at me and ignored me...and that was that. Childish, and cowardly of him. It hurts, cause I feel he is doing whatever now and dont think one second about me..which obviously is true. Anyway, we been broken up for almost 2 weeks now. 4 days of NC.

[this2shallpass]

UGH..i really have to STRUGGLE now to not check on him, or see if he has responded to me on skype..but i kNOW he hasnt..and im scared he has, and since i didnt reply to him cause of NC, that he has now deleted me and all.. but he COULD have texted me if he wanted it enough.

[ThatOneGuyThat]

Another day of keeping busy, I'm finding it a lot easier to get through the day and am missing her a lot less. Although, I am constantly wondering what she is doing and gain temptations to check up on her through facebook. I know that she is with "him" and that hurts, but I also understand that it is her problem that she cannot cope by herself. Not mine. It is her life and she has chosen to no longer be part of mine so I should stop caring. It's a slow uphill battle but I am fighting and pushing hard.

[AnyaNova]

I am still crashing.

 

It is odd for these crashes to last this long. I must have really depleted my resources.

 

Thankfully I can "crash" for a little bit, than I have two assignments to complete, one of them short and simple, one of them more complex, some emails to write hoping for a chance to meet in the near future, and explaining why I haven't been (no predictibiility with the crashes, and meeting while crashing is really, really not a good idea at all! communication goes down the toilet).

 

I'm really hurting for him right now. It really appears that he gave up on himself and adult independence and moved back home.

[learning_slowly]

Anyanova: what is crashing?

 

I am procrastinating and have loads if work to do. Just been miserable for 2 days and so I thought I'd moan about it on here, so I'm more upbeat with people in real life.

 

Must try harder

[AnyaNova]

Anyanova: what is crashing?

 

I am procrastinating and have loads if work to do. Just been miserable for 2 days and so I thought I'd moan about it on here, so I'm more upbeat with people in real life.

 

Must try harder

 

I was born with gluten intolerance (probably Celiac, others since in my family have gotten the official diagnosis, but by the time I knew I needed to be off gluten, I didn't have time to get a retest because my health was in too much danger from my inability to absorb electrolytes. I probably was one of the false negatives), so I had to stop gluten without the official Celiac dx.

 

For years, I didn't have enough nutrition to really thrive (like, since I was about 2) but I didn't really realize it until after a combination of extended accidental glutenings--one in the fall semester and one in this one) and once I began to really pay attention to not only my b12 (which is where I thought the problem only was this fall), but also to my potassium, calcium, magnesium, et al. I have both experienced the worst crashes when my levels bottom out, but I have also experienced for short windows, the best health I have ever had in my life.

 

A crash, is when too much exercise, stress, or something (in this case, staying up nearly all night finishing a big paper--that I was already griped about--only a little, because I couldn't schedule a time to meet with her I did get to choose a topic for it that was fascinating for me and really interesting to do--because I kept asking about it early in the semester because I knew by the time she wanted us to start, I would be probably dealing with more crashes due to the increased stress and more assignments in other classes and have to do at the last minute) and low and behold, I had to do it at the last minute.

 

During a crash many things happen, not all of them at once, usually, it depends on what I am missing from protein, sodium, potassium, calcium, magnesium, phosphorous, vitamin b12, b6, b9, D, C and other various and sundry amino acids and such...

 

--Mood plummets (with 99 percent, this is one of the first signs)

--my brain feels like it can't breath

--peripheral neuropathy (burning, short, sharp, stabby pains, numbness coldness, heaviness etc in feet and hands).

--communication ability decreases (this can start with odd word switches, such as my cat's name for an academic concept I'm trying to say, or thank you when I'm trying to ask about a chord progression..etc) but can often result in me completely forgetting obvious words and being unable to express basic concepts

--socially, I become a lot less able to participate in small talk or acknowledge other people (this comes almost naturally when I have enough nutrition)

-lots of muscle issues (like when my magnesium is low I tend to have my muscles lock up and its like not every fiber actually releases after contractions)

--overall coordination and spatial awareness plummet

--my ability to say anything succinctly disappears (case in point!!!!)

--for some reason whacked out and from my research probably oxygenated red-blood cell starved brain has to come up with a fun confabulated reason for the reason it feels bad, and so when I have enough nutrition I reached acceptance over my magical disappearing mystery tour ex, but nine times out of 10, he is the reason my brain assigns. So I start ex-missing. And once my nutritional levels are restored, that goes away again.

--I lose the ability to see the overall picture. I get so focused on particular details it is like I don't even see the rest.

--my perception of everything gets strange. Almost kaleidoscopic or like a series of pictures rather than a cohesive and global whole. That makes driving very interesting.

--My temperature gets whacked, so I feel really cold or really hot with little in between

--if my potassium's off, I often feel like I have stomach flu, when it turns out all I needed was potassium.

--when healthy I am usually an active and take charge person, if there is a problem, I naturally figure out the best course of action and enact it. When I'm not, I become this passive dishrag.

--I lose any sense of ability to be motivated.

--Often, all of this is accompanied by a searing headache.

--I lose both impulse and emotional control

-I become forgetful of basic things, like burners and stoves and turning them off. I have actually had to sit in my car and stare at the steering wheel for longer than I care to admit while crashing to remember how to put the key in the ignition and make it go.

 

I know I am missing some, but this is a basic description that I can think of now when my brain isn't functioning as well. The irony.

 

I am experiencing many of these now,

 

but I can explain it much much better when I'm not crashing.

 

The other irony,

 

A big source of tension, I can see it now, in the relationship that brought me here were these crashes happening more frequently. But I didn't know what they were. What was going on. I panicked when I had them and I reached out to my primary contact at the time, him. :-(

 

I'm as much responsible if not more for the fall of the relationship as he is.

 

And even more so, he won't communicate any kind of forgiveness or anything to me about it.

 

And I am thoroughly not pleased with the lack of self-dignity my crashing brain has.

 

And I really apologize for the book length post here.

[learning_slowly]

And I really apologize for the book length post here.

 

no worries.

 

I think dealing with the end of a relationship is a bit like dealing with a death.

 

Mourn the passing of that person and try to move on, so you can again have happiness.

 

I have alot of allergies and can see how for partners, this could get annoying.

 

The funny thing is I have split up with people for their lack of trying out foods before. I know this makes me shallow, but I enjoyed going to new restaurants etc and sharing your partners food is a part of what I want in a relationship.

 

I met her a few years later and she was trying out all types of foods, its a weird world.

 

You can go on a diet to withdraw from everything and slowly increase in minute quantities, but its quite expensive at the moment.

[AnyaNova]

I enjoy trying new restaurants as well.

 

My choices of which ones I can go to is simply more limited. :-)

 

I shouldn't need to go on some oddly strange diet other than restricting gluten and depending on the results of the new food allergy test, perhaps another one or two if I am sensitive to more foods (I would not be bowled over with a feather to discover that I shouldn't have dairy).

 

Once we start the treatment though, I shouldn't need to be on any uber restrictive diets I hope.

 

But yeah, for some strange reason, in most cases nutritional crash with all the physical symptoms also = ex missing/whining about ex missing/ etc.

 

:-)

[BC1980]

I was born with gluten intolerance (probably Celiac, others since in my family have gotten the official diagnosis, but by the time I knew I needed to be off gluten, I didn't have time to get a retest because my health was in too much danger from my inability to absorb electrolytes. I probably was one of the false negatives), so I had to stop gluten without the official Celiac dx.

 

For years, I didn't have enough nutrition to really thrive (like, since I was about 2) but I didn't really realize it until after a combination of extended accidental glutenings--one in the fall semester and one in this one) and once I began to really pay attention to not only my b12 (which is where I thought the problem only was this fall), but also to my potassium, calcium, magnesium, et al. I have both experienced the worst crashes when my levels bottom out, but I have also experienced for short windows, the best health I have ever had in my life.

 

A crash, is when too much exercise, stress, or something (in this case, staying up nearly all night finishing a big paper--that I was already griped about--only a little, because I couldn't schedule a time to meet with her I did get to choose a topic for it that was fascinating for me and really interesting to do--because I kept asking about it early in the semester because I knew by the time she wanted us to start, I would be probably dealing with more crashes due to the increased stress and more assignments in other classes and have to do at the last minute) and low and behold, I had to do it at the last minute.

 

During a crash many things happen, not all of them at once, usually, it depends on what I am missing from protein, sodium, potassium, calcium, magnesium, phosphorous, vitamin b12, b6, b9, D, C and other various and sundry amino acids and such...

 

--Mood plummets (with 99 percent, this is one of the first signs)

--my brain feels like it can't breath

--peripheral neuropathy (burning, short, sharp, stabby pains, numbness coldness, heaviness etc in feet and hands).

--communication ability decreases (this can start with odd word switches, such as my cat's name for an academic concept I'm trying to say, or thank you when I'm trying to ask about a chord progression..etc) but can often result in me completely forgetting obvious words and being unable to express basic concepts

--socially, I become a lot less able to participate in small talk or acknowledge other people (this comes almost naturally when I have enough nutrition)

-lots of muscle issues (like when my magnesium is low I tend to have my muscles lock up and its like not every fiber actually releases after contractions)

--overall coordination and spatial awareness plummet

--my ability to say anything succinctly disappears (case in point!!!!)

--for some reason whacked out and from my research probably oxygenated red-blood cell starved brain has to come up with a fun confabulated reason for the reason it feels bad, and so when I have enough nutrition I reached acceptance over my magical disappearing mystery tour ex, but nine times out of 10, he is the reason my brain assigns. So I start ex-missing. And once my nutritional levels are restored, that goes away again.

--I lose the ability to see the overall picture. I get so focused on particular details it is like I don't even see the rest.

--my perception of everything gets strange. Almost kaleidoscopic or like a series of pictures rather than a cohesive and global whole. That makes driving very interesting.

--My temperature gets whacked, so I feel really cold or really hot with little in between

--if my potassium's off, I often feel like I have stomach flu, when it turns out all I needed was potassium.

--when healthy I am usually an active and take charge person, if there is a problem, I naturally figure out the best course of action and enact it. When I'm not, I become this passive dishrag.

--I lose any sense of ability to be motivated.

--Often, all of this is accompanied by a searing headache.

--I lose both impulse and emotional control

-I become forgetful of basic things, like burners and stoves and turning them off. I have actually had to sit in my car and stare at the steering wheel for longer than I care to admit while crashing to remember how to put the key in the ignition and make it go.

 

I know I am missing some, but this is a basic description that I can think of now when my brain isn't functioning as well. The irony.

 

I am experiencing many of these now,

 

but I can explain it much much better when I'm not crashing.

 

The other irony,

 

A big source of tension, I can see it now, in the relationship that brought me here were these crashes happening more frequently. But I didn't know what they were. What was going on. I panicked when I had them and I reached out to my primary contact at the time, him. :-(

 

I'm as much responsible if not more for the fall of the relationship as he is.

 

And even more so, he won't communicate any kind of forgiveness or anything to me about it.

 

And I am thoroughly not pleased with the lack of self-dignity my crashing brain has.

 

And I really apologize for the book length post here.

 

Have you had any official diagnosis? This sounds terrible, like some sort of immunological problem or gluten intolerance, like you said. I'm sorry you are going through this.

Edited May 15, 2014 by BC1980

[greenbee81]

I come here whenever I have difficulties.

 

It does help by visiting here though.

[AnyaNova]

Have you had any official diagnosis? This sounds terrible, like some sort of immunological problem or gluten intolerance, like you said. I'm sorry you are going through this.

 

Unspecified gluten intolerance I have an official diagnosis.

 

And my new Doctor explained what is going on in vivid detail. I am just waiting until we can start treatment.

 

It is terrible.

 

Frankly,, if someone told me that I had to choose between feeling like I did before I went gluten free and was eating gluten all the time but apparently still holding on to enough nutrition to not be myself, really, but not having all these crashes all the time or that I could experience brief peaks of health, but be crashing all the time...

 

I would choose the former. Hands down, any day. If I couldn't have full and complete health with only minor dips after rare accidental glutenings.

 

But, I'm taking the steps necessary to get healthy and get this nutritionally crashing thing gone from my life. It shouldn't be terrible for much longer.

[ThatOneGuyThat]

Slow day today. Yesterday however I met someone who shared a similar experience to me although vastly amplified. They appear very strong at the moment and it gives me more strength and determination to get through this. I'm still wondering what she's doing and all the ideas that run through my head hurt me, but are hurting me less and less. The urge to check up on her on facebook still remains however is dissipating and I am still fighting it.

[STM206]

I was doing "better" these past few days and thought I would take myself to the mall for some shopping. At first things seemed okay, although I kept having little moments of reminders of my ex and I.

 

I walked around to about 30 minutes and had never felt so alone in my life. Here I was walking by myself when it used to be my ex and I.

 

I got myself a pair if jeans and out of my control felt tears welling up, I ended up racing to my car and bawled my eyes out on the drive home.

 

It's so frustrating, does everything have to be a constant reminder of him? Why can't I even enjoy the simplest thing like shopping for clothes which would make anyone happy?

[STM206]

2014 is shaping up to be quite a year. Today we found out my dog has a swollen lymph node and tomorrow will know if it's cancerous or not. I don't think I can deal with another loss right now.

[Hoosfoos]

Still devastated.

[Xemyd]

I think dealing with the end of a relationship is a bit like dealing with a death.

 

 

Today I would rather he had died, at least I wouldn't have these nagging feelings to check my phone for anything from him.

 

I've been good for months, and now suddenly I can't get him out of my head, I can't stop missing him.

 

Maybe it's because I'm not happy lately. I feel so stuck in my life.

[SpiritualAlchemy]

I'm feeling good, more like my old self. It's been over a month since my BU, and I was DEVASTATED and I thought I'd never get over him, but I am and it's true that time heals all wounds. I put a lot of work in myself, though it was true torture and suffering at the beginning.

 

I broke NC twice to offload my agony on him, and though it's not recommended, I'm glad I did it. It gave me peace of mind to let him know how his actions affected me (I had to go on meds, lost weight, couldn't sleep, lost our mutual friends and community because I couldn't continue to be around him, obviously). He was a real cruel a**hole when he dumped me, so for him to apologise and admit that he missed me was significant. I'm glad he's suffering because I'm an amazing and talented woman, warm and loving, and he threw me away like rubbish. I'm not so stupid to think I'm 100% healed but I feel I'm nearly there. There's much better for me around the corner in life, lots of new opportunities coming my way, and meanwhile he's just a sad and lonely guy.

 

Yep, life is good.

[johnpatric]

Tired.. because of lost of work..