redbaron005 Posted April 7, 2014 Posted April 7, 2014 Broke down in tears tonight First time in a good few weeks. Six months since break up and Im still crying about it. How pathetic I am almost 6 months post BU too and found myself crying a bit last week (in public too). It's not pathetic. Do you still feel like you are crying over the same thing you were in the first month?
Jiivy Posted April 7, 2014 Posted April 7, 2014 It's just over a month since she left me...a few months since she told me her feelings. I've gone out and forged new friendships, done new things and taken control of filling my life for me. I've kept a journal of my thoughts and feelings, talked to those close to me and cried - oh how I've CRIED. Nothing. I wake up each day knowing it's finished - knowing that my future is shattered and all the remains is some hazy, self centred bull**** people convince me to take up. I sill love her. I hate her, and most of all - I miss her. 1
Haydn Posted April 7, 2014 Posted April 7, 2014 Confusion rains. I seem to have aquired another child, my ex`s. I will take care of him whist the mad one decides.
elseaacych Posted April 7, 2014 Posted April 7, 2014 I saw an article I really wanted to send him. I thought about editing it a bit to make it a bit more tailored for him, and then have a mutual friend slip it under his door. He hasn't seen nor heard from me in several months, so he couldn't possibly know it came from me, right? The jury's still out on this one. It would be like a goodbye letter, but not a letter.
redbaron005 Posted April 7, 2014 Posted April 7, 2014 Confusion rains. I seem to have aquired another child, my ex`s. I will take care of him whist the mad one decides. You seem like a good guy Haydn - hope things work out for you.
Haydn Posted April 7, 2014 Posted April 7, 2014 Thanks Red. Not bad yourself. You seem like a good guy Haydn - hope things work out for you.
elseaacych Posted April 8, 2014 Posted April 8, 2014 Made it out of bed on time for the first time in a month today. I feel victorious, but it isn't even seven o clock so we'll see how the day goes.
martaldn Posted April 8, 2014 Posted April 8, 2014 I made a step forward today. I have managed to block all his email addresses on Gmail. now even if he sends me an email it will be removed straight away. 27 days NC. getting there....
martaldn Posted April 10, 2014 Posted April 10, 2014 One step forward, five steps back. F*ck this. tell me about it i broke the NC after over 20 days and I am a mess. I have never cried so much in front of another person in my life and I got nothing out of it. Sometime I think I am crazy and i would need a lobotomy to forget this **** because I can not do it by myself. I feel empty and worthless
erklat Posted April 10, 2014 Posted April 10, 2014 I don't break NC nor will I. But last days it is so damn hard not to think about her. I don't know why is this happening to me, that I can't get over a short lived relationship for the amount of time twice the duration of rs. Especially since she's not partner of great quality. Yeah, I'm codependent but come on... Last night my best man told to me I'm constantly hoping while the truth is I'm no longer an option for her. I was telling that in the end I'll be the one to say 'thanks, but no thanks'. This is so hard sometimes. Now I'm scared I won't fall in love with a new girl as much as I would love to.
HappyxFaith Posted April 10, 2014 Posted April 10, 2014 It's only been a week since you first ended it with me. And somewhere in the first couple of days I was wrapped in shock, because all those happy memories, and moments in our photos seemed like a dream to what was going on now. I maintained NC until yesterday, because I felt like I had something to say to you, that was just something I felt like was right for me to do. And what I told you was to thank you for sharing those moments with me and being a part of my life, and that I understand and respect the decisions you made based on whatever situational factors. But that I was letting you go, and moving on with my life, and that I was going to be in your city in August, and that if you really wanted to contact me then, you could. Because even now you are still a wonderful guy even with your faults, because I understood them. I left the option of replying up to you without expectations, and you chose not to, and I'm okay with that. So I'm choosing to let go, move on, and always face forward, because I know that if I'm not over you, even if we were able to somehow miraculously date again, we wouldn't be able to, because I wouldn't be able to let go of the emotional havoc you wrecked on me. Because even as I'm writing this right now, I can't imagine myself dating you again. But if I let go, and move on, then even if you don't come back, it wouldn't bother me. Because I cannot force someone to stay with me, nor love me for the reasons I love them. Nor do I wish to. I loved you with my whole heart, and I always meant every word I said, but what is meant to be will be, and what's not mine will never be mine. I'm letting you go. (And no more contact until August - hopefully by then, I wouldn't even feel the need to contact him) 1
JDPT Posted April 10, 2014 Posted April 10, 2014 I'm TOO busy with my future to think about the past.
offcloudnine Posted April 10, 2014 Posted April 10, 2014 6 months PBU and 6 weeks NC so far. I have to say I was feeling much better until recently aaaaaaand it's gone, having a relapse of emotions FML.
fulofhope Posted April 10, 2014 Posted April 10, 2014 I'm so lost at what to do. We started as friends. I helped him through his issues with his relationship with this married hindu woman. He realized she wasn't leaving her husband and he was tired of the sneaking around. They dated for two years. After he broke up with her, we started dating. We had a great three months. We kept the communication open, about her, and everything else. But he works with her and would see her and need to correspond with at times. We just got back from a great vacation and we talked about what our future would be like together, etc. Two days later he says he never got closer on his last relationship. he initially thought he just needed the time to get over her. but as the week progressed, he said he never got closure and felt he didn't push hard enough to get the answers he needed to get closure. The main question is if she definitely is going to divorce him. They have started talking more recently and she says her and her husband are talking more about divorce and how that would play out. He is seeing a counselor now and the counselor told him he needs to take time for himself and not to date. but I know that he is corresponding with her more and more. I wnat to believe that he is just confused and running scared into the arms of familiar because of the conversation we had. I don't want to lose him. What do I do? I feel that if I do no contact, it will fall back on the out of sight out of mind, especially if she fills the void of him and I.
elseaacych Posted April 11, 2014 Posted April 11, 2014 A victory for me today. I should have removed him from my friends list as soon as we broke up. I didn't. Became privy to things that devastated me. I unfollowed him. Still not good enough. I put him on restricted profile, and blocked his new girlfriend (out of spite). Finally, today I de-friended him. Almost four months later. We are not friends now. You dumped me, and I don't want to know what is going on in your life, at all. Ever. I am moving on. It's a beautiful, sunny day. 1
STM206 Posted April 11, 2014 Posted April 11, 2014 Driving on the freeway and had my iPod on shuffle, low and behold "our song" came on and I lost it. I have been trying so hard to move forward, to regain hope that I'll find someone else to love as much as I loved you... But it's hard - how I wish I could fast forward a year and see the possibilities that I can't see right now.
dontgiveuponme Posted April 13, 2014 Posted April 13, 2014 Now i regret that i given you a second chance.Wish i i walk away the first time u texted me coz then i wont get hurt like this. Im punishing myself right now but at least i say i tried.Its just that its not gonna work. Im going to miss you badly and i never cried like this
Author Riou Posted April 13, 2014 Author Posted April 13, 2014 9 months NC,i have met new people,got a new job.Days will keep getting better! 1
elseaacych Posted April 13, 2014 Posted April 13, 2014 I broke NC. After 7 months. Sometimes that happens. But hey, you know you can make it seven months, at least! That's great! Chin up, and start over. Today I came to the realization that he just didn't want to make tough choices. Just easy ones. It's too bad I became an easy choice. God, I wish he didn't make that choice. I miss him... or just a relationship. I don't know.
Author Riou Posted April 14, 2014 Author Posted April 14, 2014 I broke NC. After 7 months. It's okay,just don't break NC again. I am glad i never really felt like breaking NC ever,for me it's either she come speak to me on her own or i will just live my life as though she never existed and it's her loss.
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