JDPT Posted March 19, 2014 Posted March 19, 2014 In that crappy middling crawling my way back up from a B vitamin crash place. Missing my ex a little and feeling like I'll never find anyone and I'll be alone forever. It'll pass. It always, thankfully does. Keep powering through this!
NomiMalone Posted March 19, 2014 Posted March 19, 2014 Today I ran further and faster than I ever have before. He did me more good than he'll ever realise. Ha!! I still believe, that its so much better to have loved and been ****ed over, than never to have loved at all.
AnyaNova Posted March 19, 2014 Posted March 19, 2014 I can breathe better today. Glad to hear it. :-) I'm doing better. Still missing my ex a little (grr. *wrinkled nose*). but to be fair, I still need my b complex, whole multi and some sunshine today (don't ask me why, but sunshine is vital for everything to work right, makes me wonder if the vitamin D I'm taking is doing any good). I'm really hoping it is that and not getting close to the 1 year mark of when we started talking. He left. It is over and he clearly has no desire to even be friends. Though he is not rejecting the facebook friends request I sent him a little over a week ago, he's not accepting it either. So it shouldn't matter a year to the day we started talking or dating or anything. It just should not matter. I'm frankly rooting for the crash recovery on this one, because I have spent enough time on him thank you very much. But in good news, I made a new personal best today (not hard though, since we only just started timing) for the suicides. Totally didn't think I was going to be able to, I pushed as hard as I could for the first one and only got 39 seconds (hey, give me a break I've only just gotten enough adequate nutrition to truly be able to exercise these last few months), and I knew. I could just feel that it was slower than my previous time. But the second one. That was so good for most of it (and I think I lost some time, I could have had an even better time if I hadn't gotten lax at the end on keeping my arms pumping because my legs felt like they were going to give out), but I managed to get over a full second lower than my best time from last time, so my new time to beat is 37.5. In just a few I'm going to shower, and then go to the park and maybe some shopping on (insert street name here) street. :-) I've got so much to do, but I need some sunshine. I need some fun. I need some relaxation. 2
JDPT Posted March 19, 2014 Posted March 19, 2014 It's so amazing that we are close to the year marker. If I'm not mistaken I was dumped some time in May last year (well I did the dumping then she made it official lol), so I'm inching in on 11 months post BU, amazing. I have a smile on my face as I type this, not sure if it's the redbull zero or me being subconsciously happy and amazed at my progress. I have come a long way and the fact that I felt a little bit of pain for this very last "thing" I had with the woman I met a few weeks ago and sadly had to end, clearly indicates that I am capable of feeling again. Yes, the feeling was *****ty but it shows that there is life out there and when ready, I'll get to enjoy once again, however, I'm in no rush at this point. I like my time alone, I'm almost loving my time alone. I feel as if I'm growing into a new and improved, more mature individual. I don't necessarily want to as I've conditioned myself to live a reckless and careless lifestyle but I think it's time for me to evolve and learn from my mistakes. The journey continues! Let's continue to ride these waves, that's all they are, at the end WE remain. We have absolutely nothing to prove to anyone but ourselves! I'm happy to hear you are diligently sticking to your workouts. I feel much stronger but clearly not quiet there yet. Let's keep pushing. Glad to hear it. :-) I'm doing better. Still missing my ex a little (grr. *wrinkled nose*). but to be fair, I still need my b complex, whole multi and some sunshine today (don't ask me why, but sunshine is vital for everything to work right, makes me wonder if the vitamin D I'm taking is doing any good). I'm really hoping it is that and not getting close to the 1 year mark of when we started talking. He left. It is over and he clearly has no desire to even be friends. Though he is not rejecting the facebook friends request I sent him a little over a week ago, he's not accepting it either. So it shouldn't matter a year to the day we started talking or dating or anything. It just should not matter. I'm frankly rooting for the crash recovery on this one, because I have spent enough time on him thank you very much. But in good news, I made a new personal best today (not hard though, since we only just started timing) for the suicides. Totally didn't think I was going to be able to, I pushed as hard as I could for the first one and only got 39 seconds (hey, give me a break I've only just gotten enough adequate nutrition to truly be able to exercise these last few months), and I knew. I could just feel that it was slower than my previous time. But the second one. That was so good for most of it (and I think I lost some time, I could have had an even better time if I hadn't gotten lax at the end on keeping my arms pumping because my legs felt like they were going to give out), but I managed to get over a full second lower than my best time from last time, so my new time to beat is 37.5. In just a few I'm going to shower, and then go to the park and maybe some shopping on (insert street name here) street. :-) I've got so much to do, but I need some sunshine. I need some fun. I need some relaxation. 3
Snow101 Posted March 19, 2014 Posted March 19, 2014 I'm doing bad today. Really bad. I feel like I got no options and no one or nowhere to turn......ugh . panic and anxiety setting in.
JDPT Posted March 19, 2014 Posted March 19, 2014 I'm doing bad today. Really bad. I feel like I got no options and no one or nowhere to turn......ugh . panic and anxiety setting in. Would you believe if I tell you that with a lot if hard work set forth on your behalf the pain will subside and you will expand your horizons? Believe it- I'll tell you something you already know, nothing is accomplished overnight, be gentle with yourself, proactively contribute towards your healing, and power through the rough times. 1
Ally1993 Posted March 19, 2014 Posted March 19, 2014 Coping well today surprisingly Suppose I was due to have a good day sooner or later seeming as I've had nothing but bad days these past months My friends are great help, keep encouraging me to remain strong and try not let it get to me. As you all know it's pretty much impossible to not let it get to you at times. It affects me most when I'm all alone at night and have nothing to think about. My new way to deal with it is to accept its over and cherish the happy moments and memories I shared with him cos that's all he is now a memory Hopefully I will find the one meant for me so I can create more better happy memories
martaldn Posted March 20, 2014 Posted March 20, 2014 Im not coping very well today. Only 8 days NC and It feels like a year. Work is boring and I dont have much things to do to keep my mind busy.. also feel very hopeless I don't want to break the NC but I miss talking to him so much today I want to cry
BradJacobs Posted March 20, 2014 Posted March 20, 2014 I miss her today. She broke my heart and yet I find myself missing her. How screwed up is that? I am hoping this little pang is very short-lived.
NomiMalone Posted March 20, 2014 Posted March 20, 2014 A quote that resonated with me today, by Robin Sharma: "I've grown the most from my most painful experiences, so I see them as gifts" Hope at least one little nice thing happened to all of you today 4
AnyaNova Posted March 20, 2014 Posted March 20, 2014 It's so amazing that we are close to the year marker. If I'm not mistaken I was dumped some time in May last year (well I did the dumping then she made it official lol), so I'm inching in on 11 months post BU, amazing. I have a smile on my face as I type this, not sure if it's the redbull zero or me being subconsciously happy and amazed at my progress. I have come a long way and the fact that I felt a little bit of pain for this very last "thing" I had with the woman I met a few weeks ago and sadly had to end, clearly indicates that I am capable of feeling again. Yes, the feeling was *****ty but it shows that there is life out there and when ready, I'll get to enjoy once again, however, I'm in no rush at this point. I like my time alone, I'm almost loving my time alone. I feel as if I'm growing into a new and improved, more mature individual. I don't necessarily want to as I've conditioned myself to live a reckless and careless lifestyle but I think it's time for me to evolve and learn from my mistakes. The journey continues! Let's continue to ride these waves, that's all they are, at the end WE remain. We have absolutely nothing to prove to anyone but ourselves! I'm happy to hear you are diligently sticking to your workouts. I feel much stronger but clearly not quiet there yet. Let's keep pushing. It won't be a year of the official breakup for me until July, and the complete dissolution until September. I think the convergence of the particularly strong near miss relationally (I think if it could have worked out he would have needed a little more time to get there, but I'm pretty sure he would have) and the near being a year since we first started talking to each other is giving me a little blanket blank nostalgia. I do have a date tentatively scheduled in a couple of weeks and definitely a couple of cute coffee shop dudes (will definitely be spending more time there after dark--and this time I won't leave my book in the car...:-p). So I do wish the nostalgia for my ex would go away. I have to keep reminding myself that he is experiencing none for me not as a partner or even as a friend, else he would have communicated such to me. Your post here reminds me of the litany against fear (I'm reading Dune right now) "I must not fear. Fear is the mind-killer. Fear is the little-death that brings total obliteration. I will face my fear. I will permit it to pass over me and through me. And when it has gone past me I will turn to see fears path. Where the fear has gone there will be nothing......Only I will remain." And in other news, kickboxing still rocks! Learned the back roundhouse? today. And it was awesome, spinning around and the momentum of your body and the kick and combining that with some punches and I could do it forever (well, no I really couldn't but I wish I could!) Edit for early send: When will you have full use of your legs for working out again? 1
redbaron005 Posted March 20, 2014 Posted March 20, 2014 I cannot go to the ocean I cannot drive the streets at night I cannot wake up in the morning Without you on my mind So you're gone and I'm haunted And I bet you are just fine Did I make it that easy To walk right in and out of my life? 1
BC1980 Posted March 20, 2014 Posted March 20, 2014 Doing okay. Saw an old mutual friend who had no idea we had broken up. It brought tears to my eyes for some reason. It honestly seems like yesterday sometimes, but next month will be a year since the breakup. April 17. I remember it because it's the day after the 16th, which was special for us. Our first date was June 16, so we always said the 16th of any month was special. . . . and I'm getting nostalgic.
AnyaNova Posted March 20, 2014 Posted March 20, 2014 Aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaarrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrgggggggggggggggggghhhhhhhhhhhhhh! Crashing again. Woke up this morning glutened. Should have known another one (crash) was on the way. Was doing pretty well right after my kickboxing. But it wasn't long after. Listening to sad music, trying to organize, and missing the exes presence in my life (even if only friends). 1
Haydn Posted March 20, 2014 Posted March 20, 2014 You are not hopeless. Do not break NC. 8 days is nothing. You are just starting out. It does get better and better, even if there is no way you think it could. It does. Have faith in yourself. Take care. Im not coping very well today. Only 8 days NC and It feels like a year. Work is boring and I dont have much things to do to keep my mind busy.. also feel very hopeless I don't want to break the NC but I miss talking to him so much today I want to cry 4
Weallwalkthelongroad Posted March 21, 2014 Posted March 21, 2014 3 weeks NC today and I'm feeling pretty good. The urge to contact her are starting to be far and few. I've been on a couple of casual dates and am starting to regain my confidence. My friends have been really supportive and willing to chat here and there with me whenever I feel like ranting. My biggest obstacle is getting my confidence back because this girl really messed me up. But my friends have been quick to say she was the one that really messed up by how she treated me. It's very reassuring to hear that because in my heart, I really feel like I did everything right with her but still got my head kicked in.
P1nginLOVE Posted March 21, 2014 Posted March 21, 2014 day 14 of NC, 1 month and 4 days post BU. Feel terrible during days, better at nights for some reason. I miss her, but don't want her back. I sunk back into a depression after being OK for 6 months being recovered from a lifelong depression. I feel life passing me by, I'm numb. I don't know anymore. I don't attend to my college's anymore, I feel like a bother. I just want to love, but I don't think I can love anyone else besides my ex-gf at this point, and I don't want a rebound relationship. Yeah.. I miss her. Feel you... day 3 of NC, 2 months post BU. I cannot think straight now...just sitting on my chair...reading the posts in this forum. I can easily find another guy...but I don't want to trash myself...likewise: don't want a rebound rel. Still crying to sleep...and sometimes dream of him... Miss our conversations and intimacy. #sigh#
freebird31 Posted March 21, 2014 Posted March 21, 2014 Well..I'm still on here..still posting so I guess km still coping with it. Even 10 months later . I guess because he was my first love , it makes it much harder to let go. Although we never said I love u, I do feel I have so much love for him. And I would always show him my love for him in sooooo many ways. What we had was real. It was true and real. But gosh it's been 10 months, soon a year. The honest truth , the very honest truth is that I would love for him to come back into my life. After spending all this time apart I learned so much. About myself I leaned I can live without him, but I honestly don't want to. But I can if I have to. Idk why god does the things he does :/ god says the pain we feel now won't compare to the joy that is coming. I have been feeling better. But I truly miss my ex with my whole heart. Like I said I am strong enough to move on. I know I can do it. But I find my heart still holding on:/ I just can't move on to someone new. I don't know why!! And what if I fall for someone new? I just don't get how you can have room for loving 2 people. I just don't get any of this. I just must remain patient even though it's been 10 months now.
sparksfly Posted March 21, 2014 Posted March 21, 2014 6 days NC, still feeling frustrated. add to that I have the day off today and decided to spend it at home. so more time to think :'( I think I lack the coping gene lol. All this drama and frustration for a 3 month old relationship! Gah!
Ally1993 Posted March 21, 2014 Posted March 21, 2014 Don't think today is going to be a good day, woke up thinking about him. He probably won't leave my thoughts today
Itspointless Posted March 21, 2014 Posted March 21, 2014 Feeling better each day, less depressed, my old self is perhaps in sight. The missing remains though, so many moments that I would like to hear what she is doing. I miss the conversations and fun we had, the feeling of her near me.
NomiMalone Posted March 21, 2014 Posted March 21, 2014 Life has pretty much returned to normal for me. But I still cannot bring myself to scroll down the list of messages on my phone and look at his. I can't bear to read the messages and photos we'd sent each other, with so much love and excitement, once upon a time. I can't believe we no longer talk. 2
P1nginLOVE Posted March 21, 2014 Posted March 21, 2014 Don't think today is going to be a good day, woke up thinking about him. He probably won't leave my thoughts today I woke up and realized he was in my dream. Today? I almost phoned him 3x...almost emailed him 2x... Made some drafts about what to say... Still have atrong feelings for him...but I know this is the right thing. Playing his recorded songs when I missed him, so grateful that he used to send me his melodious voice when he was trying to impress me. Miss our conversation...the way he would speak in his language, French, when he didnt want me to understand whay he was saying in a playful way...miss his arms...his eyes...his smile... it's midnight 00.01 means 5 days NC.. (my time zone). I hope tomorrow I'll be stronger!
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