MajorOak Posted March 15, 2014 Posted March 15, 2014 Nope just checked myself in the mirror, I'm not that big a guy. So how come the pain feels so deep?
AnyaNova Posted March 15, 2014 Posted March 15, 2014 Thank God! All the liquid supplementation and the calcium and magnesium and all came together. I am coming out of the B vitamin crash again. I always feel like I've been through the ringer (especially if it happened to be brought on by being up all night) but I'm better. My mood is still more able to be affected by outside events than it should be (pretty sure if I listen to let her go I'll get all melancholy again, so I won't), but my brain can sort of breathe and I got some good guitar work in. I got the barre chords on Let it Grow enough that it is easy to play them not so well with not so great tone, but I can move faster between them (though it is still harder to play them with good tone and kind of kills my wrist)... And I am getting wagon wheel quite well. 1
uku383 Posted March 15, 2014 Posted March 15, 2014 I'm about to drive for 3.5 hours to meet my wife and son and watch a rugby game. He's only 4.5. I'm dreading having to spend time around her. It will be such a struggle to not declare my love and ask for her to try again. I do not want to get divorced. I love her and I want to do whatever I must for us to be reconciled. The biggest trigger of all is my son. It's so hard not to see him. I can't really see him during the week as I have to commute so far to work. Even if I didn't se views me as a psycho. Yes, I have depression, but I'm trying to get better and I really don't like being labelled like that. It's almost as though she thinks that I've meant to be horrible in the past. No, I've been sick. I've lacked perspective and control. I wish that she could see how I want us to rediscover our dreams together. I wish that she would let me hold her and make things better.
DontBreakEven Posted March 15, 2014 Posted March 15, 2014 Worthy of response? Idk. I guess. Look buddy I'm entitled to my own opinion and telling me to hold my tongue and read other threads is gonna get you nowhere thank you very much. What do you really want? Sympathy? a shoulder to cry on? I don't have any time for it, been there, done that, been a sorry little sad sack like everybody else here but the time has come for many people here(myself included) to grow a pair of balls, move on and stop whining about the failures and loss of the past. Its so over and staying stuck in the memory is unhealthy. My point remains and I'm not changing it no matter how butthurt people like you get because of it. Grow a pair and move on. That's it ladies and gentleman. Thank you and goodnight. Your journey has made me sad. Seems like you have become the epitome of jaded. In earlier posts you were an emotional, open, caring guy who had been severely hurt ... you seem to have turned that hurt into a passive aggressive anger ... now you have this chip on your shoulder and it's so unfortunate because I can tell deep down it's a facade. It's very sad to read.
L1ght Posted March 15, 2014 Posted March 15, 2014 (edited) Your journey has made me sad. Seems like you have become the epitome of jaded. In earlier posts you were an emotional, open, caring guy who had been severely hurt ... you seem to have turned that hurt into a passive aggressive anger ... now you have this chip on your shoulder and it's so unfortunate because I can tell deep down it's a facade. It's very sad to read. That is a very interesting response. What you are basically doing is trying to reflect your hopelessness, negativity and sadness and put it onto me. I'm not stuck in the hole anymore and if you can't see that then...lol well then it doesn't even matter anyway because you are an insignificant factor in my life. Mine and your progression from whatever issues we have been dealing with is worlds apart. It ain't a façade pal. I have turned a corner and realised all the things I did wrong that I don't ever intend to do again. The pain we feel comes from within...it actually has zero to do with our ex's and the sooner people realize that, address it and move forwards the better. Now I am not totally unsympathetic to people whose breakups are still raw and they are trying to find their way. I do however have no sympathy for people who have been burying themselves in that hole for too long a period of time. If you don't like it then don't read my posts. I am very happy with my progress and have very little time for people like you who wanna try and drag me back into caring about something that doesn't even exist anymore. Edited March 15, 2014 by L1ght
JDPT Posted March 15, 2014 Posted March 15, 2014 I've never been so cold and cynical of love and relationships in all my life. If the perfect man dropped from the sky, I feel that I would have no interest. I just can't muster up any interest. I've been on 2 dates in the past 3 months, and I'm so apathetic. I think a lot of it has to do with me and not the guys. I thought they were both attractive and had a lot to talk about with them. I really don't want to give someone the power to break my heart again. It sounds like such a terrible idea right now. I actually thought the same a few days ago. I could have the perfect woman standing in front of me willing and ready to embark on a new journey and I would have zero interest. It's almost as if I'm enjoying my alone time. I've always been a loner but this time around I really appreciate and enjoy this time I have alone to take care of ME. I suppose it's a shame that I don't see anything going anywhere with this woman I met. I like her, that's for sure, I enjoy her company, that's for certain but anything beyond that I'm just not sure. She is very affectionate and loving towards me but I just can't reciprocate. I look in my heart for vital signs and I feel nothing, almost as if she is showing affection to a brick wall.
JDPT Posted March 15, 2014 Posted March 15, 2014 You being afraid and cautious suggests to me that you are anything but cold. Perhaps be truthful with her about where you are at and that you are somewhat afraid and cautious, but I think you should take her out again. Definitely. :-) I know it doesn't seem like it now probably, but it really sounds like things are looking up for you. I am glad! We did manage to meet a few times during the week regardless of how sick I am. I must do the right thing and have a conversation with her and disclose to her where I stand emotionally, it's only fair. I feel as if she is investing emotionally too much, too quick in me. I don't think I want her out of my life I would just like for us to take things VERY slow, but she is moving way too fast for me. I think you are right. I feel that I've made a substantial amount of progress. I went on a date at around month 3 and what a nightmare that was. I did nothing but compare that woman to my ex. However, this time around at around 10 months, I had a great time with this woman, didn't compare, focused on "our" moment and enjoyed it. I just need to take baby steps.
SpiralOut Posted March 15, 2014 Posted March 15, 2014 I am feeling insecure and overwhelmed. Trying to figure out what my purpose is. For the past 3 years my goal has been: try to feel like myself again. And that's a good goal to have, but I need something more than that. I feel that I should make a big change soon. Should I move back to my hometown, get a job there? I have family and friends there. Would that help me to recover from my depression faster? Or maybe I should go back to school for something? It feels like I am not moving forward anymore. I am treading water in one spot.
Ally1993 Posted March 15, 2014 Posted March 15, 2014 It's been five months since the breakup and I still feel so depressed and down. There are days when I'm fine, I'm busy working or at Uni but I still have a lot if down days I hate this Just want to feel like my usual self again
JDPT Posted March 15, 2014 Posted March 15, 2014 So we are going to the movies and having a conversation about where we stand tonight.
NomiMalone Posted March 16, 2014 Posted March 16, 2014 Last night, I dreamt that I heard from him. I was surfing the net on my phone when a banner rolled onto the top of the screen, indicating that I'd received a text. From him. I couldn't believe my eyes. But somehow even in the dream, I knew all to well that it was too good to be true, that when I woke up, there'd be no message there on my phone. But ****... it was just so real.
freebird31 Posted March 16, 2014 Posted March 16, 2014 I think I'm getting over it. I have no feeling toward it anymore lately. I have so much going on in my life right m, so much other stuff to worry about. So many other problems. For the first time I broke down for reasons other than my ex. I mean that is not something to be happy about. But I just have so much going on with so called "friends" I just don't really have it in me to think about him anymore. I'm pretty much over it. I think. I honestly think I want to date someone new. Idk. Just for the excitement. My life is so idk. I'm different now. I'm not that same girl I used to be. I feel like I changed a lot within the last year. And maybe I need someone or something new that I can connect with on this new level I'm at. I went through some old pictures of me and my ex and I didn't feel much. It honestly feels too long ago now. Like my life just went on. As it should. It's been 6 months NC. Woah. I'm glad I took everyone's advice to go NC. I didn't intend for this to happen. I still will probably always feels the scar of rejection idk if that part of me will ever heal. But I'm at a different place in my life. It's been a long journey almost a year now. It's been the hardest time of my life esp with everything has I am trying to get through. Idk how I did how I got through it all. But I somehow did. I don't find myself that curious as I used to be to wonder what he's doing. Or the urge to look his name up on social media. I kind of just feel no interest to care. I'm just over it. I've been through enough, far too much to deserve feeling sad over someone. I think my part in this is coming to an end. I am finally just done . Done thinking about it. Trying to figure it out. I'm just tired. And done and ready to move on to the next stage of my life. Maybe meet someone new 1
Notbugme Posted March 16, 2014 Posted March 16, 2014 If I am honest with my self. I was never in love with my ex. I did love her, but not in love. I don't know why I'm in pain bc I broke up with her. I went cold turkey and broke down. Called her and get new break down. But I've this unpleasant feeling in my stomach. I really do hate it. I hope it will go away now. Yes I know its normal but I don't want to feel this. Please pain just go away and I don't need you. You don't have any more lesson to teach me. please go away.
lofi_tokyo Posted March 16, 2014 Posted March 16, 2014 Not coping well at all. Total breakdown status. Beating myself up and hating myself. Feel like I have no one to talk to, because I've talked everyone's ears off already. Yeah... really really really hating myself and am embarrassed. Plus side... breaking down this badly is good in that I can finally heal and move on. Gotta woman up!
L1ght Posted March 16, 2014 Posted March 16, 2014 (edited) If I am honest with my self. I was never in love with my ex. I did love her, but not in love. I don't know why I'm in pain bc I broke up with her. I went cold turkey and broke down. Called her and get new break down. But I've this unpleasant feeling in my stomach. I really do hate it. I hope it will go away now. Yes I know its normal but I don't want to feel this. Please pain just go away and I don't need you. You don't have any more lesson to teach me. please go away. I think you are on the right path. Your ex really isn't the significant factor and the pain you feel is simply a product of your own insecurities so all you can really do now is admit your weaknesses to yourself and genuinely make efforts to turn those weaknesses into your strong points for the future. Protect your emotions and understand the triggers that can set you off in the wrong direction when relationships start to break down. In a way its kinda like a disconnect. I think a better route than getting overwhelmed and over emotional when a relationship is on the verge of breaking down is to detach ourselves emotionally just so slightly from the feelings we have towards our partners and instead take a look inside and analyse the feelings that grow within us. A clearer, calmer, and more understanding mind has a better chance of fixing things before the breaking point. Edited March 16, 2014 by L1ght
soLoveIS Posted March 16, 2014 Posted March 16, 2014 After feeling actually happy again for 2 months, I had a dream about him last night. A nightmare really. In the dream, he was cheating on me and kicking me out of the house. I had tears in my eyes when I woke up, as if I had been crying in the dream. Totally f@cked up today now. Wow!! A Dream happen to me too. Mine was about this guy I loved and stop seeing, he was chasing another woman, she was running away from him, he stopped in front of me and I said "why are you seeing me and chasing her?" He replied in the Dream, "because I missed you too!"... To me, the Dream is a Gift. Telling you, yes, you miss them and it is ok, BUT.."Stay away because of THAT Dream"... the warning of what you see in your dream.:rolleyes:
JDPT Posted March 16, 2014 Posted March 16, 2014 Not feeling so hot but I've been here before. I'll ride this one out.
JDPT Posted March 16, 2014 Posted March 16, 2014 I feel so sad today. And just when I was starting to become comfortable with being on my own. I had a conversation with her last night. She understood the fact that I'm not emotionally ready to date but later the conversation morphed into her being a game to me. I know deep inside this was the right thing to do, it was best to end things now rather then dealing with more heartache later on down the line, although right now I'm in pain, I haven't felt this in a while. I can almost say that I miss her and I wish I still had her in my life at least as a friend but I can't go back. That's it, not a good day today and I'm certain tomorrow will probably be along the lines of today.
lamis Posted March 16, 2014 Posted March 16, 2014 I'm not coping. My significant other of 2.5 years, who I had been engaged to for 8 months, left me yesterday because she wasn't happy with me anymore. But she also said that this past summer (with me) was the happiest she had ever been It sounds a lot like the "greener grass" syndrome, in that she didn't have any real tangible reasons why she was unhappy, but that doesn't make it any better. This is the first time I have ever had a relationship this long, and only now am I realizing how when you are with someone that long, they become a part of you and every part of your life starts to remind you of them. I can't do anything without having to fight the urge to cry, because it reminds me of something with her. The way I think, the way I say things, parts of my own personality, have all been influenced by her. Just being myself reminds me of her. I know I'm only 24 hours out, but I really can't let this interfere with my life so much. I need to go on with my life, at least in public. I know I need to grieve, but I want to be able to save that for home. I don't know what to do.
AnyaNova Posted March 16, 2014 Posted March 16, 2014 I feel so sad today. And just when I was starting to become comfortable with being on my own. I had a conversation with her last night. She understood the fact that I'm not emotionally ready to date but later the conversation morphed into her being a game to me. I know deep inside this was the right thing to do, it was best to end things now rather then dealing with more heartache later on down the line, although right now I'm in pain, I haven't felt this in a while. I can almost say that I miss her and I wish I still had her in my life at least as a friend but I can't go back. That's it, not a good day today and I'm certain tomorrow will probably be along the lines of today. Wait. Did you falsely tell her that she had been a game to you so that she would t hang around or give you time, or let her believe that? Because that wasn't true at all... I'm sorry you are hurting!
JDPT Posted March 16, 2014 Posted March 16, 2014 Wait. Did you falsely tell her that she had been a game to you so that she would t hang around or give you time, or let her believe that? Because that wasn't true at all... I'm sorry you are hurting! No, I wouldn't do that. At first she understood what I'm currently going through but then during the conversation she grabbed me and started to kiss me so passionately, I wanted to stop and kept telling her "we can't keep doing this...." she continued to kiss me and kept repeating "do you want to leave me, do you want to leave me..." my response was "I want you to be happy...you deserve someone who can make you happy and I deserve to heal..." She then proceeded to tell me that I shouldn't ask girls out, not even as friends and that she thought all she was to me was a game. I told her that because this isn't a game is that I needed to do this. I'm still in a little bit of pain. Even if I was emotionally ready, she isn't what I'm looking for. I would have only prolonged the inevitable. I hope to feel better tomorrow. 1
BC1980 Posted March 17, 2014 Posted March 17, 2014 No, I wouldn't do that. At first she understood what I'm currently going through but then during the conversation she grabbed me and started to kiss me so passionately, I wanted to stop and kept telling her "we can't keep doing this...." she continued to kiss me and kept repeating "do you want to leave me, do you want to leave me..." my response was "I want you to be happy...you deserve someone who can make you happy and I deserve to heal..." She then proceeded to tell me that I shouldn't ask girls out, not even as friends and that she thought all she was to me was a game. I told her that because this isn't a game is that I needed to do this. I'm still in a little bit of pain. Even if I was emotionally ready, she isn't what I'm looking for. I would have only prolonged the inevitable. I hope to feel better tomorrow. I feel like a I have a lump of coal in the place where my heart would be. 2
noelaniella Posted March 17, 2014 Posted March 17, 2014 Went 7 days NC until he emailed me last night saying he's not coping and he's really confused. I wrote back this morning telling him that he can't contact me again unless he wants to get back together. I have thought about him every minute for the last week. I just miss him so much. 2
Ally1993 Posted March 17, 2014 Posted March 17, 2014 Time does not heal. Makes it worse Not coping well at all today. Just miss him so much
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